A Year of Jubilee
by My Father's Daughter
Summary: When petty thief Jubilee Jenkins has a near death experience, she awakens with the ability to see in the spirit. Deciding to turn a new leaf, she gives up thieving & relocates to Japan where she enjoys a quiet life—until the day she notices a shinigami trailing after a young man named Light. When she starts to follow them, she captures the attention of a certain detective...[L/OC]
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

 **1) Due to the nature of the plot and Death Note itself, there are religious references and imagery in this story.**

 **2) This is written multiple chapters in advance and will be updated on a regular basis.**

 **3) To new readers, hello. To returning readers, welcome back. It's been a while. Here is something new.**

 _ **"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"**_

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 1

The streets of downtown Tokyo were always bustling with people—tourists, businessmen, vendors promoting their wares. Jubilee thought she might never get used to bumping shoulders with them on a day to day basis.

Then again, she had thought she would never get used to seeing angels and demons on a day to day basis, either.

Yet here she was, an American living in Japan, on her way out of the grocery store with a ten-foot-tall angel trailing her.

Oh, there were other angelic beings drifting about the place as well. There always were. Some radiated a gentle light or brilliant colors; others, not so much. One particularly dark being, with blackness oozing off of itself in smoky wisps, rolled its way through the crowd, occasionally lingering over a particular person here or there.

Jubilee looked away. She had only recently started seeing more dark beings and wasn't quite as used to it yet.

Shifting the bag of groceries in her arms, she shouldered through a throng of people watching a street juggler. _Dad, please let the train be late today,_ she thought to herself. She had picked up a cake as a treat for the kids back at the Wakahisa Children's Home, where she lived and worked, and was running behind schedule as a result. The little ones would throw a fit if she didn't make it back in time to have lunch with them as she had promised.

 _Miss Julie,_ little Meirin would be sure to say, _You said you would be back ASAP, and this is not ASAP!_

She had taught them that little American acronym during English lessons, and they had taken quiet a liking to it. She'd also taken on the name of Julie since coming to Japan, since it was easier for the natives to pronounce…and because that was what they always thought her name was, anyway. She remembered her first time coming through customs, when they had asked for her name.

"Jubilee Jenkins," she had said.

The woman at the desk looked like she had been prepared for a challenge as soon as Jubilee's less than perfectly Japanese looking face walked through the door. "Ju…lee?" she said.

Poor woman. She had tried so hard.

The same thing happened when she was getting photographed for her staff ID at Wakahisa.

"Julie?" said the man printing her ID for her.

She had sighed, giving in. "Sure. Yes."

Her reminiscing was interrupted as she suddenly tripped and was about to fall headlong, when a light touch at her elbow caught her and straightened her back up.

"Thanks," she murmured quietly, glancing at the angel beside her. He gave her a nod, withdrawing his hand. Briefly she wondered how her fall just now had looked to everyone else.

 ** _It looked like you stumbled and then caught yourself,_** said the angel with a shrug. **_That's what it always looks like to humans…even to themselves._**

 _Except for me, since I'm blessed with eyes to see, eh?_ she thought silently, giving the angel a wink.

The angel sighed.

"What?" she whispered aloud out of the corner of her mouth as she continued to walk. "Don't you like being actually acknowledged, for once?"

 ** _Jubilee,_** said the angel sternly, **_If the Father wanted everything to be big and showy, then just now I would have levitated you in slow motion back to standing._**

Jubilee thought to herself that such a display would be an improvement, as it would make her look a little more sane to everyone else.

 ** _That's your own fault,_** pointed out the angel. **_I've made it perfectly possible for you to be discreet. You're the one winking at thin air._**

She threw up her hands in defeat and exasperation then, to the alarm of a few passersby whom she almost hit in the face.

 ** _And that. That does not help your case._**

Hastily lowering her hands, she hurried past the people who were now giving her strange looks. Turning a corner, she made her way down a more secluded alleyway. It was a shortcut she sometimes took to get to the train faster. She switched back to speaking aloud.

"I can't help it, okay?" she huffed. "Ever since Dad made it so that I can see and hear you clear as day, it's hard not to respond back in the same manner. I'm human! We talk a lot. We emote. At least I do. If He doesn't like it, He shouldn't have made me that way. Or, He shouldn't have given me this ability." She stormed onward down the alley.

The angel sighed again. Jubilee was starting to get all too used to that. She wondered how many times during the course of her lifetime he must have sighed and shook his head while watching her do stupid things, even back when she couldn't see him yet. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. It was something she didn't want to think about.

 ** _Everything He does has a purpose. That you know already._**

"Yes, thank you Yoda," she said dryly, not missing a step.

She wasn't sure whether or not he got pop culture references, but right now she didn't care. There was a beat of unreadable silence as he continued to trail gracefully down the path beside her.

 ** _So,_** he prompted at last, **_Why do you doubt?_**

"Why do I doubt?" she repeated, stopping. She turned to the angel. "Why do I doubt the purpose behind seeing what no one else can see, for no other reason than to look nuts and never be normal again? No, stop—" She put up a hand to cut the angel off before he could say anything. "Don't tell me. I know, some people wait and pray their whole lives for something like this. I admit that once upon a time, I would've thought it was pretty cool too. But now I see why those kinds of prayers aren't answered." She turned away, lost in a memory as she stared at the ground. "You catch a glimpse of heaven, you see beyond...and you're ruined for this world," she whispered. "I don't want to be here, Hellenos." She faced the angel again. "Why did He send me back? No one would ever believe me. Even people who believe angels exist would think I'm a freak. What could possibly be the purpose of any of that?"

Hellenos gazed at her evenly. Honestly, she wasn't completely sure that that was his name. Back when she was first getting used to hearing in the spirit, she thought that that was the name she had heard. But since then he had never confirmed, and she didn't know why he wouldn't. He never corrected her, in any case.

 ** _Why don't you ask Him yourself?_** he asked simply. She thought he looked sorry for her. **_You know you can hear Him._**

"Can I?" she asked bitterly.

Hellenos put a palm to his face, an act she was almost certain he had picked up from her. **_It never ceases to amaze me,_** he began, **_How you humans can be shown so much, and yet you STILL find reasons to doubt._**

Jubilee put a hand on her hip and blew air out through her lips. She had most certainly missed the train by now and would have to catch the next one. Being able to see and talk with angels was incredibly distracting sometimes. What was she supposed to tell the kids back at home? _Sorry, I got sidetracked having a heart to heart with my guardian angel?_

"Listen," she said. She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm still resentful about…about some things. It…gets in the way of hearing, you know?"

Hellenos nodded.

"I'm not always," she went on hastily. "Just when I'm not in a good place. When I think about things too much. Honestly, I don't know why Dad chose someone like me to see and hear stuff. I'm no good at letting go of grudges, even against Him. I always thought that was one of the prerequisites for getting to see angels—being forgiving and all that." She laughed. "So why is it I can still see and hear you, most of the time?"

The angel smiled. **_Everything He does—and allows—has a purpose._**

Jubilee smiled back halfheartedly. "Alright," she said. "Fine." She took a deep breath of resignation and looked to the sky. "Hey...Dad," she whispered softly, before retreating into her mind. _Been a while, huh,_ she thought, and then the rest of her thoughts devolved into a vague and frustrated amalgamation of wondering what she should ask and what the whole point of her life was anyway. "Why do I see what I see?" she finally asked aloud, quietly. "And...what do you want me to do about it?"

Silence.

A gentle wind picked up and swept through the alleyway. Jubilee was briefly reminded of the cold winter winds back in Chicago. Like on the day of the car accident…

Jubilee shivered and turned back to Hellenos.

 ** _Well?_** he prompted.

"I don't know," she stated flatly. "I think it's got something to do with…with the day it all started. But that's obvious, isn't it?" She kicked a pebble on the ground, irked. "Everything has to do with what started everything. The answer to the universe is the answer to the universe. Great." She sighed. "Anyway, I didn't really hear anything. It's not like the way it was, back in the beginning. I don't know how to hear Him these days."

 ** _Because you doubt._**

"Yeah, probably," she conceded. "Dad picked the wrong gal to have His eyes. Now, can we get back to—"

She stopped. Footsteps and a faint voice were coming from the other end of the alleyway. She looked up at the opening thirty feet ahead, just as a young Japanese man walked past. Behind him a tall, angular demon with black wings and spiked hair floated by, following him.

Jubilee froze for a moment. She could not recall having ever seen a demonic being that looked that big or that powerful. Yet, somehow, he looked familiar as well.

As the two were disappearing around the corner, the young man turned and spoke over his shoulder. The demon bent its head, as if listening attentively.

Jubilee's eyes bulged. He was _talking_ to the demon?

In all the time that she had begun seeing into the spirit world, she had seen plenty of spiritual beings following humans around. Sometimes it was angels, sometimes it was demons. She had become somewhat numb to it, perhaps partially to keep herself from staring at people. But never, in the past two years since this all began, had she ever seen another human be aware of—much less acknowledge—the beings around them.

"Oh my G—" she began, but Hellenos cut her off.

 ** _Don't._**

"Sorry," she said absently, before turning to her guardian angel with wide eyes. "Did you see that?!"

He gave her a look. **_I'm an angel from heaven, and I vibrate at an immensely higher frequency than human beings in their current state. Of course I saw that._**

"I think you picked up some snarkasm while you were on earth, so I'm not sure how that may affect your frequency," she commented, then went on before he could interject, "That guy could see that demon! He was talking to him! I'm going after him." With that, she took off.

For a moment she had the sense that Hellenos was about to object, but he didn't. Instead he trailed silently after her. She hurried to the end of the alleyway and exited back onto the street, looking frantically in the direction the young man had gone. It wasn't hard to catch him—the floating demon at his side rose several feet above the crowd. Putting on a semblance of composure, she walked quickly after them.

 ** _Don't let them see you,_** Hellenos spoke up. **_It is not yet time._**

 _What is THAT supposed to mean?_

He didn't answer.

Jubilee let his silence go, too engrossed in this new development. Excitement enveloped her senses. This was it. Something new was finally happening…and maybe she would finally find another clue as to why she was the way she was.

The young man and the demon turned another corner onto a busy street where the train stop was. It wasn't the stop that Jubilee needed to get home, but she didn't care. The kids would have to wait. As inconspicuously as she could, she tried to sidle up next to the two as they waited for the train; but several other people waiting stood steadfastly in her way. Reaching into one of her bags, she jammed a pair of sunglasses onto her face and turned so that she could observe the young man without him noticing her. She didn't look at the demon. From what she had already seen—pale gray skin and bulging yellow eyes—it gave her the heebie jeebies. Something about the man, though, made her look twice. She blinked, squinted, and then her lips flattened into a grim line.

 _Hellenos_ , she thought, _What is that…thing, around the guy?_

Hellenos gazed calmly in the direction of the man and the demon, before turning to face ahead towards the train tracks. **_You tell me. What do you see?_**

Jubilee squinted again at the man.

 ** _Stop doing that. You know it's not your physical eyes that are seeing it, so why do you keep trying to adjust them?_**

 _Sorry. Instinct._ She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again to gaze upon the man. He was handsome, by Japanese standards. Medium height, clear skin, light brown hair and bright brown eyes. His face was serious. But all in all, very normal looking…except for what looked like a black, shimmering haze all around him. That, and the demon next to him.

Jubilee cocked her head and considered the haze, which wasn't altogether clear to her. It seemed to keep changing…like a shadow flickering under candlelight, or a blur of motion when she didn't have her contact lenses on.

 _Dad,_ she thought, _Help me to see._

For a split second the haze sharpened into a black knife, sticking straight out of the man's chest. Then it was several knives, all equally dark, jammed into him like extra limbs. Blood oozed from wherever the blades entered him.

Jubilee gasped and the vision cleared, reverting back into an indiscernible black haze around the man.

A cell phone rang. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, putting it to his ear.

"Light Yagami speaking," she heard him say, before the sound of his words was cut off by the train pulling in.

She turned to stare up at the angel, not caring if anyone was looking her way. They weren't, in any case; all of them preoccupied by the incoming train.

 _I saw it,_ she thought. _Darkness, piercing him like knives. What WAS that?_

Hellenos' expression was somber. **_Those are the stains he has allowed into his soul._**

Jubilee was about to question him further, when the swarm of people around her began to push her forward as they piled onto the train. She was suddenly shoved through the car doors by the crowd, and right up against the back of the man with the demon at his side. Neither of them paid her any attention, but a cold and heavy dread instantly hit her from the demon's presence.

Hellenos gracefully appeared next to her. She eyed him.

 _You walk through the wall of the train or something?_ she asked silently.

 ** _Nope,_** he said. **_Not necessary. One day you'll get how these things work._** Then he winked at her.

 _You're pretty funny, for an angel,_ she thought. She suspected Hellenos was only joking around to try and lighten her spirits. The proximity of the demon made her feel an underlying anxiety, as was usually the case with these types of beings. She'd never stayed so long in the presence of one before, at least not consciously. Usually she made a beeline in the other direction if she saw any demonic being. Sometimes it was unavoidable if she was out in public, where there were big crowds. Demons seemed to love feeding off of the nervous energy of people. And what better place than in a big city? But they had never acknowledged or bothered her before, and she suspected that she rarely saw them because Dad was making it easy on her senses—or had been at least, until now. What could it mean that she was now able to see one of the bigger guys?

Wrestling with that question in her mind, she soon lost track of time and the train reached its destination before she knew it. Startled back to the present as the man and the demon began to disembark, she hurried to follow after them. Hellenos glided calmly beside her.

The stop that the man had gotten off at was a quieter area of town, with slightly less foot traffic. Jubilee slowed her steps, pretending to look around to get her bearings. Actually, she didn't need to pretend. Where was she?

 ** _To-Oh University,_** Hellenos pointed out, gesturing to a sign near the group of buildings the young man was walking towards.

"So, a college student," she said under her breath. She glanced at her watch. It was just after 1 o' clock. He must have been on a lunch break and was now getting back to class. Surely she could still pass for a college student, she thought to herself. She'd graduated only two years ago, after all, and this looked like a big university with too many students for all of them to be recognizable.

Quickly she transferred the groceries into her backpack, thankful she had brought it along today, and then discarded the paper bag before hurrying after the young man and the demon.

 ** _Wait, Jubilee,_** began Hellenos, holding out a hand.

She didn't stop. "What?" she murmured, closing the distance between her and her targets. She strained to hear if either of them was talking. Probably not the boy, since he was in public. But perhaps...if she could hear angels, then she could hear if a demon was speaking, too.

Suddenly a tall body was standing in her way.

"Oomph," said Jubilee as she walked straight into a police officer's chest. She stared up at him, alarmed, then at his partner standing next to him. The second police officer was holding out a pair of open handcuffs.

"You're under arrest, miss," said the first police officer in Japanese.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The hotel suite that doubled as an undercover headquarters was deadly silent, as every member of the police task force present stared ahead at the security footage streaming through the monitors. In the background, the faint ticking of a clock could be heard.

Onscreen, four different video outputs played, featuring four different people, all placed in a separate solitary confinement cell. In one room, Light Yagami, the young man with the light brown hair, sat quietly on the floor with his back against his cot. In the next, his father, Soichiro Yagami, sat on the foot of his cot, hunched over with his head in his hands. In the last two rooms, two young women were strapped to vertical cots with blindfolds over their eyes. The first woman, still just a girl really, was blonde and petite—Misa Amane, the teen pop star. The second woman was Jubilee.

Closest to the monitors sat a pale man crouched on his chair like a monkey, hunching over to stare intensely at the screen. Thick black hair fell into his eyes but he didn't blink as he chewed the tip of his thumb, observing the four people on screen.

"Watari," he said in a soft voice, breaking the silence. "Remind me again what Misa Amane revealed during the first 72 hours of her confinement?"

An elderly gentleman in a suit stepped up beside the man crouched in the chair. "Very little," he replied. "As you may remember, she pleaded to be killed, then attempted to, quite literally, bite her tongue before we were able to restrain and gag her. Since then she has not spoken…until as of late."

"Hey, Mr. Stalker Man!" cried the young girl's voice from onscreen. "Are you still watching me, you pervert? Just you wait until my boyfriend Light gets a hold of you!"

"Hmm," said the pale man, eyes narrowing. "Yes, I remember."

"This is wrong, L!" cried a younger policeman all of a sudden. "We can't—"

"Don't call me that, Matsuda," said L sharply.

"Sorry, I mean…uh…Ryuzaki. Or…Ryuga?" He turned to the older police officer standing next to him. "Which alias was it that he uses here again?" he whispered. The older man, Aizawa, rolled his eyes.

"Well, whichever!" declared Matsuda with renewed vigor. "We can't keep two young ladies tied up, underground, for almost a whole week! It's injust!"

"That's not a word, Matsuda," said the man in the chair calmly.

"Er… _un_ just! Either way! L—I mean, Ryuzaki…this is not right."

The other officers in the room remained silent, shifting uncomfortably.

"Watari," said L again, ignoring the young police officer. "Please pull up the initial interrogation for the other young woman."

"Yes, Ryuzaki," said the older gentleman obediently. An image of a video from six days ago immediately popped up on the screen and began playing.

 _"What is your name?"_ came an artificial voice from off camera.

The young woman in the video lifted her head, startled. Dark brown hair fell away from her face. Her eyes were blindfolded, as they still were now.

"I—" she began, her voice a nervous high pitch. "My name…is Julie. Julie Amachi."

 _"As it says on your ID."_

The woman nodded slowly in assurance of this fact, though the gulp in her throat suggested something otherwise.

 _"Miss Amachi,"_ continued the voice. _"You are here on charges of being the second Kira. Do you confess?"_

"Kira?" The woman's brow furrowed over the blindfold. "You mean…'killer?'"

 _"Surely you do not profess to not know who Kira is, Miss Amachi."_

"Well, I—I've—heard of him," she stuttered. "I, um, don't watch the news much. And I'm a bit of a recluse." She sounded embarrassed. "Sorry."

The artificial voice seemed to take on a tinge of stern reproof. _"Kira is the glorified name that the general public has assigned to an unapprehended serial killer, who has been steadily killing off victims everyday, for the last six months, remotely and seemingly from afar, by somehow mysteriously causing heart attacks in his or her targets. Most of the victims are incarcerated criminals, but a number of innocent civilians and law enforcement agents who stood in Kira's way have also fallen prey. This has been a matter of global speculation for the past half year."_

"Right," said the young woman weakly. "I did hear something about that…I think."

There was a brief pause.

 _"You were observed following the suspected first Kira for at least three miles,"_ the tinny metal voice continued. _"Why?"_

The woman froze at this statement, clearly in fear. She seemed to mouth something silently, but did not speak aloud.

 _"Why were you following the first Kira, if you did not know who he was, and if you are not the second Kira who is working alongside him?"_ the voice repeated.

The woman, Julie Amachi, tilted her head as if trying to listen for something, but said nothing.

The video ended.

"Interesting," murmured the detective, L, to himself, as he bit down even harder on his thumb. "There is no record of a Julie Amachi anywhere in Japan."

* * *

Jubilee sagged against her restraints. Her back ached terribly. For what felt like the hundredth time, she desperately tried to reach out to Hellenos.

 _Hellenos. Hey._

Silence. She could feel a slight tingle along the back of her neck, but that was it.

 _Dad?_

Nothing.

She mentally cursed to herself. This was her fault. She knew Hellenos was there, knew everything was just as it had been, but the moment they had tied her up and thrown her into this room she had been paralyzed with fear. She couldn't hear well when she was afraid.

She didn't know what to do.

 _Dad,_ she pleaded in her mind, _If you can hear me…of course you can hear me—help me…show me what to do. Help me figure out what's going on._

 _"Miss Amachi,"_ the tinny voice came on over the intercom.

The sound of her mother's surname—which she had taken as her own when she moved to Japan—was like a call of salvation. Her head snapped up. "Yes?" Her voice was hoarse from disuse.

 _"We would like you to answer the question posed to you previously. Why were you following that gentleman—Light Yagami?"_

Jubilee paused. Over the past few days, she had mulled over how she should respond to this question should she be asked it again. She still hadn't received any guidance on the matter.

 _You know the way,_ she thought she heard a voice say all of a sudden.

 _The Way._

 _The Life._

 _ **The Truth.**_

She cleared her throat. "The truth," she began, "Is that…I have no idea who this—this Light Yagami is. The truth…well, I don't think you'll like the truth very much."

There was a moment of silence.

 _"How is that, Miss Amachi?"_

She licked her lips, which were chapped. "Well I mean…I just mean, I'll tell you, but I don't think you'll believe me."

 _"Try me, Miss Amachi."_

Jubilee took a deep breath. This just figured. It just figured that the only possible way she could ever be bold enough to tell the truth was if she was blindfolded in a room where she wouldn't have to look people in the face. Oh, and solitary confinement for a week. That too.

"The truth is that I can see in the spirit," she heard herself say. "And I saw a spiritual being of darkness following—and talking to—the one you call Light." _Which is ironic,_ she added to herself.

She suddenly felt the light sensation of angelic chuckling beside her.

 _Where have you BEEN?_ she almost hissed aloud.

 _ **You know the answer to that,**_ said Hellenos' familiar voice, somewhat sternly. _**I've been right here. The question is, where have YOU been? Stuck in your own fear, that's where,**_ he answered for her before she could protest.

 _"I see,"_ the voice over the intercom finally quipped in reply. _"Thank you for your input, Miss Amachi."_ The intercom clicked off.

"Great, now they think I'm crazy," she said aloud. More quietly, she muttered, "You could have at least given me a hint on what to do or something, earlier on."

 _ **I was talking to you for three days straight,**_ declared Hellenos. _**I finally decided to just stand back and wait until you snapped out of it and came to your senses.**_

"Oh? And what determined when that happened?"

 _ **When you surrendered your fear and told the truth.**_

Jubilee sighed. "Okay, fine," she said under her breath. "So now what?"

She sensed Hellenos pause. Then, with what sounded like an apologetic tone, he replied, _**Now you wait.**_

* * *

Days rolled into weeks. Jubilee was sure that at least a month had gone by, but there was no way to confirm the passage of time. They fed her well everyday—an old man with a kind voice entered the cell each day and spoon fed her what tasted like a wonderfully home-cooked meal, called her _my dear_ , and replaced the bed pan underneath her. This last part she had long gotten over the embarrassment and mortification of during the first two weeks of confinement. Now, deeply resigned, she simply rolled with it. Twice a week someone—a woman she hoped, but by now she barely cared anymore—came in and sponge bathed her and washed her hair in silence. She wondered if she would still remember how to walk after all this.

At one point, in a state of weary delusion, she had asked if she could take her contact lenses out, because she didn't want them "to permanently stick to my eyeballs." They had sent someone in a couple hours later who, with latex gloved hands, had removed her blindfold—it was pitch black, so they must have switched off the lights and found someone who either had night vision or a pair of goggles with the ability—and gently slipped the lenses out of her eyes. That had been a bizarre experience.

These days she remained there in almost complete silence, talking to Hellenos in her head and reliving better days. She was relieved to find that, for whatever reason, she felt acceptance for her current fate. The sensation was similar to the incident that had first caused her to begin hearing and seeing Hellenos and the ones like him. She figured her brain had simply decided that it was much less stress to surrender to the facts rather than reason against them. Or perhaps it had something to do with the _dispensation of grace_ that Hellenos sometimes talked about. Whatever that meant. In any case, she had asked for something new to happen, hadn't she? This was certainly something new. Not exactly what she had had in mind though.

Every couple of days the intercom voice would come on and ask her questions. She would answer simply and truthfully, occasionally pausing to see if Hellenos had some counsel for her on what to reveal or be discreet about. For the most part, she kept nothing hidden.

 _"What are you doing in Japan, Miss Amachi?"_ the voice had asked during the first few days after she'd begun answering its questions.

"I live and work at the Wakahisa Children's Home," she answered. Her heart ached a bit as she wondered how Meirin and the rest of kids and staff were doing there. They must be worried sick about her.

 _"Yes, we found that out already. Your coworkers have been informed of your detainment and you are on leave from work until further notice. We have kept the details confidential."_

Ah, so they had made a cover story for her. The kids wouldn't be missing her then. Though they were probably pretty mad at her for never coming home for lunch that day. Meirin would never forgive her, even in light of her being arrested.

"Um, thank you," she said.

 _"The question however, Miss Amachi, is not what you were doing in Japan, but what brought you here."_

"No it wasn't."

A pause. _"Once more, Miss Amachi?"_

"I said, no, that wasn't the question. You literally asked me, 'What are you doing in Japan?' Well, that's what I'm doing. Working at a children's home."

The words had come out on autopilot. She could barely believe herself for her own impertinence. Perhaps not being able to see or walk for a week was causing her to lose her grip on common sense.

"Sorry," she said quickly before the tinny voice could respond and possibly have her executed. "Not that I won't tell you what brought me here. I was just, uh, stating facts. Not important. Anyway…" She trailed off.

 _"You are American, correct?"_

"Yes."

 _"From where in America?"_

"I grew up in Virginia, but was living in Chicago before I moved to Japan two years ago."

 _"And what made you decide to move to Japan?"_

She hesitated as memories swirled through her mind. "I—my mother, was half Japanese. She brought me here one summer when I was fifteen. I still have a valid visa, and…I was…looking to turn a new leaf and start a new life. I wanted to get away. Um…" She paused as past images of living off the road, snatching boxes indiscreetly off of shelves, and picking the pockets of intoxicated passersby invaded her head. _Surely I don't have to tell him…everything, do I?_

Beside her, she felt Hellenos shrug. _**You can if you want. I never said to tell your life story. Just to be honest as best you can. And honestly, you humans are pretty bad at being concise.**_

She cleared her throat. Aloud, she declared, "My parents are dead—cancer got Mom, car accident got Dad—I was going through a rough patch, hanging with a bad crowd, made some bad decisions, then one day woke up and decided to change…yadda yadda. A new country felt like the best way to cut old ties." The words spilled out of her roughly and quickly.

 _"And this…gift, of yours…did you have it since birth?"_

She felt her throat get tight. "No. Funny thing…it started right around when I 'woke up.'"

 _"I see. And this was two years ago."_

"Yes."

 _"How is it that you have remained here for so long?"_

"I had wanted to relocate permanently from the beginning. It was a matter of finding a way to stay once I got here. I applied for the long-term missions program at Wakahisa, and now receive sponsorship funding to stay on for at least three years total."

There was a moment of silence, then the voice abruptly said, _"Thank you Miss Amachi, that will be all for today,"_ and then the intercom clicked off.

In the days of silence that followed, she reflected to herself on whether the man behind the voice was like Dad, and she was like all the people in the world—confined to a cell that was her only reality, while the man behind the voice watched her from somewhere beyond, her and everything else happening in the world outside of her cell.

 _ **Except,**_ Hellenos broke into her thoughts, _**the Father speaks to you to tell you that you are actually free of your restraints, and that the door to the cell is open and all you have to do is walk out of it, if you so wish.**_

 _Yeah, small chance of that happening with this guy,_ she thought.

 _ **Is 'this guy' greater than the Father?**_

Jubilee didn't answer for a moment. Then, with a tired sigh, she murmured in reply, "Everything He allows is for a reason."

The next time the voice came on, there was no preamble.

 _"Miss Amachi?"_

She raised her head, still half-asleep from dozing before this sudden interruption. "Present," she said sleepily.

 _"I would like to go back to that moment that you said you 'woke up.' Please explain how you came to acquire your gift."_

She froze for a second. "That's…a long story."

 _"I have time."_

She settled back against her restraints and thought for a moment. How much should she divulge, and how much should she hold back? Hellenos was silent beside her. Which was usually an indication to just go with the flow.

"Well," she began, "Things were very different, two years ago."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Things were very different two years ago. Jubilee Jenkins lived the life of social butterfly by day, petty thief by night. Though sometimes it was the other way around. She liked to be spontaneous.

College had just ended four months ago. And, not to be self-congratulatory or anything, but she was pretty impressed with herself for graduating in only three years, while making a living completely on her own without any financial support from her parents because, oh right, they were dead.

Granted, she realized that graduating early didn't necessarily mean she was that smart, since her grades were just barely passing. And it didn't mean she was particularly ambitious, either; just that she was too broke to afford another year of college. Also, the manner in which she made a living wasn't necessarily honorable or anything to boast about. But, she had to confess, she secretly found herself to be pretty clever.

She'd gotten into this whole thieving trade during the second year of college, when she was nineteen, a few months after her father was involved in a fatal car accident. Mom had passed two years before that. She was running on empty; mentally, emotionally, financially. Money had never been easy to come by even while mom was alive, but after she died it seemed to dwindle even more, and by the time her father was gone there was nothing left for her in the will besides the debts of her own college loans. Thankfully, she received some grants here and there, some compensation from insurance…but on the whole, once it went into the loans and her day to day living expenses in the city, she barely broke even.

It was one day, while she was standing in a drugstore aisle waiting for her prescription of antidepressants—which she had recently started taking—to be filled, and pondering over whether she could manage to pass the class that had really taken a hit during her grieving process, and over her failed midterm in another class, and whether she'd be able to scrounge up enough change to have some dinner tomorrow, and trying not to think about mom and dad…that something inside of her snapped.

Maybe it had something to do with the mother in the next aisle saying to her teenage daughter, "Get whatever lipstick you want, honey. I want you to feel beautiful for prom." Maybe it had to do with the song playing over the speakers, "I Miss You." Maybe it was just because she was irritable from hunger.

But, for whatever reason, she quickly and quietly snatched three packs of ramen off the shelf and stuffed it into her bag. No one was in the aisle with her. She walked through the adjoining aisle next—which was by now also empty—grabbed an eye shadow palette and three lipsticks on her way down it, and nonchalantly threw them in her bag.

Then she marched up to the pharmacy desk, plastered a smile on her face, paid for her meds, and walked out of the store. Nobody stopped her.

Back at her dorm, she poured the contents of her looting onto her desk and stared at them. What had she been thinking? She didn't even need lipstick.

"Sweet color!" remarked her roommate, Alyssa, over her shoulder. She came around to Jubilee's side and admired the makeup, picking up the eye shadow palette to evaluate its contents. "Oo, this is a good brand. I could use some new colors for the party I'm going to tonight…could I use some of this?"

"Do you want to buy it?" Jubilee heard herself say. "I never used it and don't really wear makeup anymore."

"Yeah!" exclaimed Alyssa happily. "I mean, if you don't want it. I've been needing to get something like this for ages! I'll buy that lipstick too. Hey, do you want to come with me to that party tonight?"

An intuition that Jubilee couldn't quite discern yet made her say, "Sure."

That night Alyssa, the sweet girl that she was, insisted on putting makeup on Jubilee and dolling her up in one of her own nicer dresses. They arrived at a large fraternity house with blaring music, dim lighting, and throngs of college students milling about with beers in their hands. Jubilee politely declined the many drinks that were thrust at her from various different boys.

"Hey, pretty lady," slurred a guy with glasses and straight blonde hair. Jubilee looked him up and down. He was kind of cute, and heavily intoxicated. A wallet peeked precariously out of his back pocket. He swayed before her, smiling a goofy but charming smile.

"Hey," she said, gazing up at him through long, curled lashes, courtesy of Alyssa's artistry.

"I'm Brian," he declared. "Wanna dance?"

"I'm Jubilee," she answered, putting her arms around his waist and leaning to the beat of the music. Her fingertips brushed the top of his wallet. "I'd love to."

"Julie?" he yelled over the music.

"Jubilee," she corrected, like she had so many times before.

"That's a pretty name," he said, pulling her close as the crowd pulsed around them and the music played. "What does it mean?"

Her smile became tight. "Nothing. It's just a name." She pulled the wallet out of his pocket, twirled, and stuck it in her purse.

Around her, college students laughed and whooped belligerently. Brian happily lingered by her side for the next hour. She let him kiss her before she disappeared.

In hindsight, he was probably a pretty nice guy. A bit nerdy looking, and in no place to be at a frat party like that hitting up girls, but alcohol had made him courageous. He was probably the type of guy she would have bumped into at the campus library, apologized profusely for knocking over his books, and then asked out on a coffee date. That is, if she had been in a mentally and emotionally stable enough place to be interested in a relationship.

Instead, she had gone back to her dorm room alone, emptied Brian's wallet of its cash—one hundred and five dollars total—and then dropped it off the next morning before class in the campus lost and found office. No reason for the kid to lose his driver's license and school ID, she reasoned.

There were perks to going to college in a big city like Chicago. No one was likely to ever recognize her again. Especially if they were drunk enough the night before.

Her skill for pick pocketing and shoplifting evolved and became more refined through the next year and a half. By the time she graduated, she had a hoard of expensive brand-name makeup from department stores, high-end jewelry slipped off of rich girls, and even a few designer dresses and shoes smuggled out of closets. And she was making a killing on eBay.

The trick was that no one would ever suspect someone like her to be a criminal. How could they? Poor sweet Jubilee Jenkins, the orphan girl with long brown hair and innocent brown eyes. Criminals were big thuggish men with tattoos and alcohol on their breaths. Not her, the skinny good girl who never drank or did drugs.

And how people did love a charity case. Classmates who were trust fund babies kept inviting her into their circle, and the parties that she attended went from frat parties full of rich kids to penthouse suite get-togethers stuffed to the brim with Chicago's social elite. Alyssa had opened her eyes to the fact that, if you looked and dressed the part, you could sucker anybody. Some of the goodies she stole ended up being used specifically for this purpose. In some ways, it was almost like a business investment.

Brian was not the last guy she seduced and then subsequently pick pocketed. Though Jubilee never experienced a genuine, steady relationship—after all, it would be unwise to leave a trail by dating the guy you just stole from—she lacked no experience in men. Most of the time, the biggest money she brought in was from one-night stands. The key was to target guys who were so drunk that they were sure to black out and forget what had happened the next day.

Morality had become an ambiguous notion to her. Some people said that when you went to college, your morals took a turn because your parents weren't there everyday to keep you in check anymore. Well, it must have been true, because Jubilee no longer felt any moral obligation to anyone.

It was ironic because she had majored in ethics. Maybe that was why she was so good at flying under the radar—she must have exuded a nature that seemed to have a deep conviction in what was right and wrong. Her minor in psychology didn't hurt either. Her degree was pretty much perfectly suited to set her up as a con artist.

So, four months after graduation, she had found stability and even, dare she say it, some semblance of financial security. She was living in a modest studio apartment, paying monthly rent, and even had a decent used car. It was a hard-won success—during the summer after her second year of college, after she had to vacate the dorms, she couldn't afford housing and was homeless for a while. She slept in the park, showered at the gym, swiped things off of shelves and used Wi-Fi at the library to list her loot on eBay. At night she managed to doll herself up inside of Starbucks restrooms before hitting the club or party scene to find her next new intoxicated friend to prey on. She was fortunate that this only lasted for a summer—it would have been brutal to be homeless during the winter, _and_ still attend college.

But that was in the past. Now she had "made it." She had established a name for herself in the nightlife scene, and by day she ran a successful online eBay shop that had five stars based on reviews. She attributed her success to the shallowness of humanity. It never ceased to amaze her how much money she could make from stealing and then selling things that really were useless in the grand scheme of things. Makeup, for example. Who would have thought that women would pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for brand-name makeup? But Jubilee couldn't complain too much. It was the shallowness of humanity that was feeding her and keeping her alive.

The goody-two-shoes façade had started to slip by now. One could only hope to do what she did and associate with the crowd that she associated with for so long until someone convinced you to take a drink, or smoke a joint, or snort a line. Men and women alike would be completely unrelenting until she acquiesced to join in whatever pleasure-seeking frivolity they were engaged in; and after that they were like putty in her hands.

And so it was early one morning around 9AM, on a brisk fall day in Chicago, that Jubilee was driving back to her apartment from a penthouse party which had gone on until 6AM and resulted in most of its guests crashing on the many couches. She was utterly hung over, had forgotten her sunglasses, and was squinting against the excruciating sunlight to concentrate on the street signs despite a ruthless headache forming in her skull. In her purse, which sat on the seat beside her, lay a set of diamond earrings, three gold rings, and six hundred dollars cash. It was when she was crossing an intersection that it happened.

She had run a yellow light at full speed. At least, it was still yellow when she had seen it a hundred feet away and made the decision to go for it. Being hung over did not aid in her calculations or decision making skills. By the time she was charging through the intersection, a line of cars was already entering the lanes perpendicular from her. It was too late to slow down.

Panicking, she jerked the steering wheel to the left and swerved towards the curb. A steel traffic pole loomed before her. Her brain screamed at her to hit the brakes, but in a moment of fear and confusion, her foot stepped down on the gas pedal. Hard.

The car accelerated straight into the traffic pole. Everything seemed to slow down in the seconds before impact happened. She was dimly aware of the barrage of honking all around her. A police siren began to sound—traffic patrol had already been nearby. She wondered for a split second if the helplessness that she felt right now was how her father had felt, right before he died.

Then everything sped up and her car crashed into the pole, crumpling like tin foil. The entire world seemed to jolt and turn on its head. Her neck snapped forward, slamming her forehead into the steering wheel, and everything went black.

Twenty minutes later there were ambulances and medics on the scene, along with the traffic cops blocking off the area and directing cars into different streets. A few drivers who had been witnesses to the accident were still present for questioning. One of them had gotten out of his car and run over to the paramedics as soon as they arrived, breathing hard and looking wildly concerned.

"Oh good Lord!" he cried when he saw the body that was being pulled out of the wreckage and laid on a stretcher. "Is she—will she make it?"

The paramedic didn't look at the man. Instead, he heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head.

Jubilee Jenkins had been pronounced dead at the scene.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _"Excuse me—Miss Amachi. May I interrupt you there for a moment?"_ said the tinny voice.

Jubilee went silent, knowing what was coming next.

 _"Did you just say you were pronounced_ _ **dead**_ _at the scene?"_

"Yes."

A pause.

 _"And yet, here you are."_

"Here I am," she agreed tiredly.

She had skipped most of the beginning of the story, particularly the part about stealing—she didn't need the cops of Japan on her case about that as well—and had cut right to the part regarding the accident.

There was another pause of inevitable scrutiny.

 _"If I may backtrack for a moment, Miss Amachi. Why did you bother to finish college after the death of both your parents? You said that after graduation you were working in…"_

"Selling things online." She felt self-conscious in the brief silence that ensued, then added, somewhat defensively, "It's a thing."

 _"Hardly a 'thing' you need a degree for."_ Was that a tinge of contempt in the tinny voice, or just the cold effect of the artificial voice filter? Jubilee couldn't be sure. _"So why bother getting one?"_

Part of the answer to that question was that attending college gave her an "in" to certain demographics, and frat boys and drunken college students were some of the easiest people to steal from. Loans had already been taken out to pay for her third and final year, so she figured she might as well take advantage of them and bite the bullet when it came to scrounging up enough to pay off the debt. Jubilee decided to tell the other half of the answer though.

"It's what would've made my parents happy."

 _"I see."_ It was difficult to tell whether the voice sounded void of feeling because of the robotic voice filter, or because of the man behind it. _"Why not at least take a leave of absence while you were grieving?"_

She shrugged. The action made her shoulders ache. "Where would I have gone? My parents were both only children. My grandparents had passed away when I was still a kid. I had no family to stay with. No money to travel. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but I probably would have killed myself if I didn't have school to distract me and keep me busy." _That and being a klepto._

There was a long silence. Jubilee imagined that the person at the other end of the line was mulling over her story and measuring out which parts were believable.

 _"Please,"_ resumed the voice after a full minute, _"Continue where you left off."_

* * *

"Dear God," breathed the civilian who was gaping at Jubilee's lifeless body. "She was so young."

The other paramedics began to lift the stretcher into the ambulance.

"Wait!" called the man. "May I pray for her?"

The first paramedic eyed him incredulously. "She's dead, man. Ain't nothing left to pray _for_."

"I'm a pastor," the man explained. "Please. I'd like to pray for…for her family. For her passing on."

The paramedic looked at the man skeptically for a moment longer, then shrugged and waved for his colleagues to wait. "If you insist," he said. "Can't see how it'll help, but don't s'pose it'll hurt, either."

"Thank you," said the pastor.

He made his way over to the stretcher. The other medics had set it back down on the ground. Kneeling, he took in the body that was before him. The girl's face was streaked with blood which oozed from a large head wound on the forehead, and her neck lolled at an awkward angle. She must have died on impact. Her cheeks had already taken on a deathly pallor. He felt a stab of compassion pierce his heart. Did she have a family? Surely, if this was his own daughter, such an event would have utterly broken him. Bowing his head, he clasped his hands together and closed his eyes.

Ignoring the strange looks that he was getting, he began, "Father in heaven—into your hands I commend this spirit, which came from you…and now to you, I pray, will return…"

* * *

Jubilee was hurtling through many realms. Except she wasn't Jubilee anymore; she wasn't anybody, for she had no body. All she had was a cold, distant sort of awareness.

Past her field of consciousness flew streaks of light and color, and the sense of vast, infinite space. The colors grew dim and darker as they flew past her.

 _Where am I?_ she thought, and then was surprised that she could think. _What's happening?_

Up ahead sprawled a black, gaping void. It stretched across an endless expanse. Jubilee could feel a sense of infinite, immeasurable coldness coming forth from it. It wasn't the kind of cold that was physically felt, for she was bodiless now—but it was a sense of cold that pierced right to the soul and snuffed out any remembrance of warmth or light.

Panic crawled through her being. The void was coming rapidly closer. Or was she the one who was coming towards it?

 _What IS that?_ her thoughts screamed.

Memories of her life suddenly sped through her mind. Screaming, sobbing at her parents' graves. Watching Alyssa cry over her lost engagement ring, which she had stolen. Crying with her, and not knowing if it was out of shame and empathy or if she had just gotten that good at pretending. Crawling out of the bed of a man who had told her he loved her just the night before—who she had taken two weeks to get to know and gain his trust—and watching his sleeping form, wondering if she could just love him back and settle down and have a normal life. But, in the end, taking his credit card and disappearing. And then, for the next three days, crying every time she saw a couple in the street or heard a romantic song play.

So much crying. So much shame. So much pain.

The faint, eerie sound of crying echoed from the void. Distant anguished screams reverberated through her consciousness. The voices all sounded like her, and yet didn't sound like her at all. They shrieked in hatred of their fate and of themselves, in resentment of life and all its misspent moments, in fear of eternal pain without any hope of redemption or salvation. They sobbed with the sorrow of inerasable, irreversible shame. The sound was getting louder and louder, stifling her soul, suffocating her with an incurable dread.

The blackness yawned before her. Fear, like a sharp claw, sliced through her as a sudden realization hit her.

 _I'm going to hell._

She tried to fight the tide of gravity that was sucking her towards this black hole. But there was no way to fight. No arms to flail with. No feet to kick. No mouth with which to scream. There was only an utter, desperate helplessness as her soul was sucked towards its eternal fate.

 _Please,_ she pleaded, though she didn't know to whom she was pleading. _Please no. No. Help me. Help me! Don't let me die…_

Distantly she was aware of the fact that she was already dead, but she knew somehow that the destination she was hurtling towards was a place of death that went beyond what she had ever known of the word. It was a place that was utterly void of life, the depths of which were infinite and unfathomable. It was a death not only of body but of soul and of spirit. It was a place in which she would never again see or even remember what life or light or joy was, a place in which every moment would be spent reliving everything on earth that had been killing her from the inside out. It was a death that had no end, a death that was eternal.

This knowledge made itself plain and settled within her more and more the closer she got to the blackness. It was almost as if the void was laughing at her, opening its jaws wide to swallow her up as she came hurtling towards it. In a final, desperate plea to the universe, her mind screamed out for some source of salvation.

 _SAVE ME._

* * *

"And in all things, and in all ways, Father…let your will be done," the pastor finished. "Amen."

Around him a few of the medics, and even some passing civilians, stopped and bowed their heads. Some simply stood staring in curiosity and morbid fascination. A beat of reverent silence passed.

 _And may God have mercy on her soul,_ the man thought to himself sadly.

* * *

In the midst of her suffocating fear, Jubilee thought she could hear a still, small voice.

" _Into your hands I commend this spirit…"_

Her fear dissipated for a second, replaced by confusion. What was that?

" _Father…let your will be done."_

Time seemed to slow all of a sudden. The speed of her trajectory towards the void crawled to a standstill. For a few moments, there was only the large, overwhelming sensation of still nothingness. The blackness loomed angrily before her, waiting.

Then, suddenly, she was hurtling in the opposite direction.

Backwards she was flung, her consciousness only barely aware of lights whizzing by, colors brightening, and the sense of swift yet windless motion. In the distance, the void became rapidly smaller and smaller until it was nothing but a black speck, and at last winked out completely. Then there was a sensation of going up…up…up…

The faint sound of high pitched ringing filled her awareness. It got louder and louder the higher she went. It had the sound of tinkling crystals, resonant church bells, and many rushing waters, all at once. It was a sound, it was a voice, it was everything. It was the song of the universe.

Bright, blinding light suddenly filled her vision. She stumbled forward, much to her astonishment, and found that she had a pair of legs again. Holding out a hand before her face, she stared at it. She had a body again. But it was…different. She felt…less dense. Weightless. Like she was an image projected from a movie theater film projector. Looking around, she tried to take in her surroundings, but everything was still too bright.

" _Jubilee?"_ A gentle, familiar voice drifted over to her.

She looked up, and her voice caught in her throat. "Papa—?"

The man, tall and bright and with a serene wonder shining softly through his eyes, beamed at her. _"Yes, sweetheart. It's me."_

Jubilee choked back a sob, yet found that, somehow, she could not cry in this place. Her deceased father, looking brighter and better and healthier and happier than he had ever looked on earth, walked towards her.

" _It's okay, sweetie. Everything's okay now. You're safe."_

Jubilee stuttered and tripped over her words. She didn't know where to start. "What—how—where's Mom?" was all she finally managed to get out.

His smile grew bigger. _"She's here. She's happy."_

Relief flooded through her along with a sudden, all encompassing sense of peace. "Papa, I—I—don't know what's going on, but I'm…so happy to see you." Joy filled her to the brim and overflowed. Around her, shapes and colors slowly started to come into focus. "And I—I'm so sorry—for everything. For everything that I did wrong. For giving up. For trying to forget you and mom and everything that you guys had stood for. I—"

In the distance, lush greenery with a rainbow of vibrant colors started to form in her vision, though they were still a soft blur. In front of it, a little ways behind her father, stood something brighter than everything else, though she couldn't quite make it out yet. Her father smiled again, as if aware of the presence behind him. He held up a hand.

" _You didn't do anything wrong, Jubilee. He'll tell you."_

Jubilee stopped. "…Who?"

" _Jubilee, listen to me. I was your father on earth, and I still am. But remember what your mother and I used to tell you? There is One who is Father to us all. And He holds no record of your wrongs."_

She tilted her head, not understanding, yet somehow not worried either. The bright and shining light was coming closer. She felt intoxicated with a sense of euphoria.

 _"Just remember, Jubilee…you'll see me again."_

She snapped out of her reverie for a moment. "Again? But wait—you're not—"

And then suddenly the blinding presence was before her, and whatever anxiety or perplexity had begun to creep in quickly melted away of their own accord.

 _ **Hello, Jubilee.**_

The voice was loud and soft all at once, powerful yet gentle at the same time. Its sound made Jubilee feel as though she were drawing breath through her lungs for the first time; as though she had been blind but now could finally see. She looked up into a face that gazed upon her with perfect, shining love…so much so that it literally glowed and radiated with a warmth that rolled off of her in waves, and so that she couldn't quite make out its features.

Her mouth opened but she could say nothing.

 _ **You are very special to me, Jubilee.**_ The figure—it looked somewhat like a man, yet she knew it was so much more—smiled at her, and the love and the warmth that were in that smile completely undid her. She suddenly realized that everything she had ever been looking for and longing for was now standing right here in front of her. _**I have great plans for you, dear one. And I have a very important work for you to do.**_

"Anything," she heard herself say. She suddenly understood that she would do anything for this being, because He had done and would do anything, and everything, for her. Insight and understanding flashed through her head in spurts—images of a presence watching over her as a child, a protector guarding her from a belligerent crook in an alleyway, a comforter standing by her side as she mourned over her parents' graves…and a man nailed to a cross two thousand years ago, bleeding out for her.

 _ **Your sins are forgiven, my daughter.**_ The words were spoken with a perfect finality that dissolved away any doubt. _**And you can do no wrong in my eyes, because I have made it so.**_ The figure stretched forth a hand and laid it across Jubilee's eyes. She felt a tingle of energy pulse beneath the fingertips, waiting. Then the voice drew in a deep breath, and intoned, _**Receive thy sight: thy faith have saved thee.***_

Instantly bright light exploded behind her retinas, and a swirl of power surged from the fingertips over her eyes straight through her head and into her brain. In the ensuing flood of sights and sounds that suddenly burst through her consciousness in greater acuity, she vaguely sensed the voice saying more to her.

 _ **Show them my…Back home…**_

 _ **You…Going back…**_

Jubilee felt something tugging at her, pulling her away. Slowly, vaguely, a memory of earthly emotion and worry entered her consciousness again. She suddenly started to realize what was happening.

"Wait—" she began, still dazed. "I don't want to leave. Don't make me go back. Don't—"

And then she was hurtling back downwards.

The last sensations she could hold onto were the feeling of a warm hand cupping her face, her own hands reaching back up towards heaven, and of two desperate, yearning thoughts.

 _This_ _is my home._

 _You are my home._

Then, it was all gone.

* * *

The silence at the scene of the car wreck stretched on for a moment.

Then, without warning, the body on the stretcher drew in a gasping breath.

"Holy—!" exclaimed the paramedic.

And with that, everyone else gasped too. The cops blurted out stunned profanities. One woman screamed. The pastor just sat on his heels and stared at the girl in shock.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. Pain shot through her expression. She stared at him for a moment, then looked wildly around herself. Her eyes widened for a moment in disbelief, then she squeezed them shut again with a grimace.

"Get her in the ambulance!" shouted the first paramedic. "Move, move!"

Instantly there was a flurry of motion as she was lifted up into the ambulance. The doors of the vehicle closed behind her. The pastor scrambled up to his feet and opened his mouth in protest, but the paramedic held up a hand.

"You," he said, pointing straight at him. "You can follow us to the hospital. We have to check her vitals and make sure they're stable. I have a feeling you're gonna want to be there."

The pastor shut his mouth, nodded, and ran back to his car.

* * *

The moment that Jubilee had opened her eyes again, pain shot through her brain.

It wasn't just the pain of her physical injuries, though those did hurt like the devil. It was the fact that _something_ was different—no, something was _wrong_ —with her eyes.

Everything that filtered through her vision was sharper, clearer. And beyond that, there was something… _beyond._ Bright flashes of color, colors she never knew existed, colors she would never be able to describe in words, flitted through the air above her head. She turned her head to the side—to the protest of her sprained neck—and almost cried out in pain from the acute sensitivity that was hitting both her body and her brain. Some of the colors were darker, a description which did them pathetic justice—it was a darkness that had a smell to it, a rottenness that made her feel sick to her stomach. Her mind reeled.

A man's face came into view. He looked middle-aged, the age her father would have been if he were still alive. He was staring at her, his expression a mixture of concern, shock, and relief. Around him radiated a soft, gentle glow.

She glanced around him at their surroundings. Different colors emanated from different people. Tall figures of light and ambiguous columns of shadow flitted across the spaces between them. Beside her stood at least one very tall, very bright figure. Its brightness made her squint in discomfort. It looked like it had wings, folded down along its back with its tips resting right above the ground. Pain seared through her brain the more she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. She tried to look somewhere else, but then her eyes landed on something that made her want to scream in terror.

A large, hunched figure clothed in black stood not six feet away from her. It was at least twice as tall as the tallest human standing in the crowd. Its skin was a sickly gray pallor, its eyes an eerie yellow that gazed at her hungrily and with malice. In its hands—long, sharp things with black claws at the end—lay an open black notebook. It was holding a writing tool, poised right above the page. And it was glaring at her with a look of hatred. No, not at her…at the space above her head.

Jubilee felt panic rise up in her throat like bile. She didn't know which was worse—this being of darkness that oozed all the dread and fear of the void which she had so narrowly escaped, or the being of light that was too much for her broken mind to handle. So her brain did the only logical thing to do under the circumstances.

It shut down, and she passed out.

* * *

 ***** _This line is a direct quote from Luke 18:42._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

L sat crouched on his swivel chair, eyes glued to the monitors and thumb in his mouth, lost in thought. Around him officers paced. Watari stood by serenely, waiting behind a cart of refreshments.

"There is at least a 22% chance probability that the woman who calls herself Julie Amachi is telling the truth," he said softly to no one in particular.

"The truth?!" snorted Aizawa. "The woman is delusional. She's guilty of nothing more than insanity. You've locked up an innocent madwoman, Ryuzaki." He stopped his pacing and turned to glare at the detective in the chair. "The police force is going to have to go through a lot of headache to cover up this one. And whatever additional burdens this…this, _trauma_ , is going to put on that poor girl's psyche…let it be on your head."

"Well said, Aizawa," said L calmly, not bothering to look away from the screens. "It is most certain that Julie Amachi _believes_ that every word she has said is true—up to a 99% chance probability."

"How do you know that?" asked Matsuda.

"Physiologically, her muscle tension eases as she is speaking, her breathing is steady, and the cadence of her voice remains level." Matsuda gave L a look of admiration before the latter continued, "But also we have her hooked up to a lie detector. The only way to pass it is to tell the truth or believe you are telling the truth."

"Why didn't he just say that part from the beginning?" whispered Matsuda to Aizawa, who simply glared back. To L he asked, "But what makes you think that any of what she said could be true at all?"

"Well," said L. He sat back on his haunches and rested his hands on the knees of his jeans. "First of all, everything she has said, so far, in no way conflicts with my suspicions of Light. In fact, it goes in line with them."

"But that's no excuse!" exploded Aizawa. "You're just using what _you_ want to hear, to support what _you_ want to believe is true! We still have no concrete evidence that Light—"

"Secondly," continued L as if Aizawa had not spoken, "The creature that she described to be following Light could very well have been a shinigami."

Silence fell over the room then.

" _'L, do you know,'_ " the detective quoted aloud the last message left to them by the second Kira, " _'That shinigami love red apples?'_ "

"And then when he or she sent a message to the First Kira, it said something about showing their shinigami to each other," murmured Matsuda, remembering.

Aizawa scoffed. "It's got to be code for something. Shinigami don't exist."

"There's a 50% chance likelihood of that, yes," agreed L, reaching over for the refreshment cart. Watari intuitively held out a small a la carte tray and L, with a nod of thanks, grabbed a cupcake and stuffed it in his mouth whole.

"How does he keep eating like that and still stay so skinny?" Matsuda hissed behind his hand to Aizawa.

"Would you please, _stop_ asking stupid questions," grit Aizawa through his teeth. "Focus on what's important."

"Sorry," mumbled Matsuda.

"So then." Aizawa crossed his arms and stared L down. The crouched detective didn't even notice him, simply grabbed another cupcake and wolfed it down. Indignant, the police officer continued, "How do you propose to figure out whether what this girl saw—what she _thought_ she saw—was a shinigami or not?"

The detective shrugged. "One way to find out." He swiveled back towards the monitors and hit the intercom button. "Miss Amachi," he spoke into the microphone. His voice echoed back on the audio input in a tinny vibrato.

Onscreen, the girl barely flinched. "Yes?" came her tired voice over the speakers.

"The creature that you saw following Light Yagami. Was it a shinigami?"

Her head lolled to the side in lethargic perplexity. "…A what?"

"Shinigami. Literally meaning, a death god, or god of death."

Her shoulders lifted weakly in a pathetic attempt at a shrug. "Could have been."

"So you don't know."

She heaved a heavy sigh that rustled through the speakers like a wind rattling the eves. "They are what they are. It doesn't matter what word you call them."

L tapped his fingers over his chin in thought. "Well said," he murmured to himself. He hit the intercom button again. "Based on the descriptions of what you saw when you were first…resurrected," he began, "The dark being you observed watching you sounds similar to the being you observed following Light. Is that correct?"

"Yes," responded Julie slowly. "In fact—they may have been the same one."

L leaned forward in his chair. "Really."

Julie lifted her head now. Agitation creased her brow. "I—I don't know. Everything was…too overwhelming, back then. I'm not sure what I saw."

"Hmm," hummed L to himself. He watched as the girl leaned forward slightly, as if she were trying to listen intently to something. He hit the intercom button. "Who are you listening to, Miss Amachi?"

She immediately snapped back to an upright position. "Huh—what?"

"You are listening for something, Miss Amachi. What would that be?"

She hesitated for a moment. "I can hear them, too. At least, some of them. Sometimes."

"What are they saying?"

"I—I don't know right now. Sometimes it's hard to hear…if I'm afraid, or if I doubt, or…or if I'm just not in a good place, I guess."

Beside L, Aizawa shook his head. "This is a classic case of delusion," he said, pity in his voice. He turned to the detective. "Surely you can see that. And if you can't, just ask our psychiatric specialist. We've had to deal with hundreds of people like this. People blaming the voices in their heads for telling them to pick up a gun and start shooting. This girl lost both her parents before she was twenty and then almost died herself. On top of that, she came out of it with major head trauma. She can't help but have a few screws loose." He tapped his forehead with a finger, emphasizing his last statement. "This is all just a coping mechanism for her. She _needs_ to believe it's true."

L said nothing for a moment, thumb pushing against the side of his mouth as he stared unblinkingly at the woman onscreen. "Perhaps," he conceded at last. A pause. "Or, perhaps, those voices in peoples' heads come from the entities that she is describing."

"What!" exclaimed Aizawa and Matsuda together, the first out of outraged disbelief and the second out of shock and excitement.

"Surely," began Matsuda, eyes huge, "You're not saying—"

L held up a hand. "There's a 14% chance probability." He finally turned to look at them all. "We are dealing with far more than the usual criminal case here, gentleman. Victims are dying supernaturally. It is only logical, then, to be open to the supernatural."

This quieted them as they all mulled over his statement.

"Furthermore," he added, "You would have to apply your psychiatric 'analysis,' Aizawa, to Light as well. If you will recall, he had a sudden inexplicable change in behavior, one week into confinement."

"I remember," grumbled Aizawa. How could he not? Everybody there remembered. It had been in the middle of one of Julie's interrogations. L had to bring that to a quick stop because, all of a sudden, a figure in one of the monitors had jumped up from his calm sitting position on the floor and begun banging his fists against the wall, yelling something. Light, son of Soichiro Yagami, chief of police, claimed to no longer remember why he had volunteered to be put in solitary confinement.

 _"You said that you feared you may somehow 'subconsciously' be Kira,"_ L had informed Light over the intercom as he watched him with puzzled fascination. _"Don't you remember that, Light?"_

"I—I don't know," said Light, his voice shallow and panicky as he stared wildly around at the walls imprisoning him. The kid sounded like he was having an anxiety attack. "I mean, I remember saying that, but...I don't know why I said it! Please, there must be some mistake, I shouldn't be in here!"

 _"I'm sorry, Light,"_ said L. _"But you had strictly said to keep you confined for as long as you were under suspicion, no matter what you may do or say later on."_

The young man onscreen slumped in defeat then. "I did say that, didn't I," he murmured in bewilderment.

Now the man in question was lying on his cot staring up at the ceiling, looking utterly lost. Everyone onscreen looked miserable, in fact.

"Still," said Aizawa quietly. "This is unethical, Ryuzaki. The Kira killings started again weeks ago, with a vengeance—even while Light was confined and under 24/7 surveillance. You should have let him know as soon as it started happening that he was clear of suspicion, but you didn't, and you didn't let him or anyone else go. It's been 50 days. Kira is still out there, and these people are innocent." Aizawa's gaze hardened then. "Stop keeping them here and torturing them just because you don't want to admit that you're wrong."

Beside him, Matsuda nodded nervously. Other members of the task force mumbled vaguely in agreement. L sat before them, staring at the ground in silence.

"Very well," he said at last, and turned back towards the computer. "Release the suspects—"

" _Former_ suspects," corrected Aizawa angrily.

"And bring Chief Yagami in," continued L without missing a beat. "He's back on the case. And," he lifted a finger to point first at Light, then at the girl with brown hair. "So are those two."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy New Year! May everyone's newest year be blessed, beautiful and bright. And speaking of new...here's a new chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 6

When Jubilee first got to meet the man behind the intercom voice, her brain and her entire body felt like mush. Two police officers had led her into a large room, practically holding her up the whole way, and placed her gently in a seat. Without her contact lenses, all she could make out was the blurry outline of two figures ahead of her; one seated in a chair and another one standing beside the first. But there, in front of her on the table, was something familiar—she squinted—yes, it was her blue-rimmed eyeglasses. Someone must have picked them up from Wakahisa. This she confirmed when, putting them on, she noticed her three traveling bags that had come to Japan with her, neatly stacked in a corner.

Turning back to the people in front of her, she took in the face of the man who had had her apprehended. The man was fairly young and looked about her age, perhaps a little older; with ghostly pale skin, stark black hair, and large gray, owlish eyes, staring straight back at her. He was crouched on his feet in a swivel chair behind the other end of the table. At his side stood an elderly gentleman with white hair and spectacles. Despite the latter's age and more sophisticated manner, he had an air of subservience to the young man that made it clear who was following orders and who was dishing them out.

So. This was the guy in charge.

"Miss Amachi," spoke the man in the chair. His voice, stripped of the artificial filter, still held that smooth, detached quality from before.

She said nothing. Her facial muscles lacked the strength to make any expression of acknowledgment other than a slack, vacant gaze.

"I am L," he said. At this, her eyes widened just a fraction, which did not escape his notice. "So, you have heard of me."

With some struggle, she found her voice. "A little bit," she croaked.

"Yet you had never heard of Kira."

She bit her lip. "I heard about you once, years ago." He said nothing, just measured her silently with those big, unnerving eyes. Nervous that he would think she was lying, she searched for more to say. "The cops in my town were trying to track down a petty thief at large, and I overheard them joking that it was almost a big enough case to bring L into it. They called you the world's greatest detective."

She neglected to mention that the thief had been her.

He observed her for a moment longer with his gaze. "So I am," he said at last. With his thumb and forefinger he picking up a document lying before him and held it up before his face. "And as head of the Kira investigation, I would like to invite you to work for us." He held the document out across the table to her. "Please read and sign this."

Her mind blanked. "What?"

"This is a work agreement form, Miss Amachi. You will need to sign it."

She stared at him for a second. "So let me get this straight," she began, her voice rising in volume, "You tie me up and lock me in a room, for—for I don't know _how_ long…and now you expect me to work for you?"

The pale man's face remained completely aloof. "Correct."

If she wasn't so weak from her ordeal, she might have leapt up and strangled him. "And what makes you think I would ever do that?"

"Because either way, you are under house arrest until this case is solved," said L, setting the document back down on the table. "You know too many details already, and now you have seen my face. So, my deduction is that you might as well take advantage of your gift, and aid in the cause that will hasten your release."

She was caught between too many emotions, outrage and utter confusion being at the forefront. " _What?_ House arrest?! Who cares about your _face?_ What does it matter that I've seen it?"

At this, one of the police officers in the room—there were four of them—stepped forward. He was slightly older looking than L, but still had more boyish looking features than him. "Excuse me, miss," he began timidly. "Officer Matsuda. We will bring you up to speed on everything you should know for the case…and, well you see…this is the first time ever that L has shown his face to anybody."

Jubilee stared at the police officer with incomprehension.

"That is," he continued nervously, "None of us have ever seen his face before. Until now I mean. Obviously. Er…L has always stayed anonymous, for security reasons; the name L is obviously an alias so no one knows his real name, and he's never shown his face to anyone…Well, except for his assistant Watari, I suppose, and, well, I suppose there could have been a few others who have seen him through the years that I don't know about—" At this he glanced towards L and the old man, Watari, in the vain hope for some kind of help or assurance. Receiving none, he turned back to Jubilee and babbled on, "But now he's revealed himself to us in order to work on the Kira case together, so it's actually a bit of a historical event, you see…oh, and also! We all have to call him Ryuzaki right now, to keep him undercover, so it's kind of like and alias for an alias—"

"What he's saying," interrupted an older officer irritably, "Is that nobody outside of the investigation team can find out L's identity. Officer Aizawa, by the way. Pleasure."

"Especially," added L, "Because Kira needs a name and a face to kill."

Jubilee's head was spinning. "Okay, wait a second," she began, unsure of where to start. "First of all." She cleared her throat and put a hand to her head in a vain attempt to clear it. "I did not _ask_ to see your face. In fact, in light of all this—this— _craziness,_ that you are dumping on me…I wish I never did. The fact that I saw your precious, top-secret face is _your_ decision, and therefore _your_ fault." She was dimly aware that she was reaching the point of yelling. "I do not want to be a part of your case, Mr. Detective, and I don't see why you would want me to be anyway, as I am no 'great detective' like you, and if I am not supposed to know the details of the case, then please, for the love of all that is holy, _stop telling them to me._ I don't want to know. I don't want to be involved."

She was met with silence as the half dozen men gathered in the room just stared at her; some with a look of pity, some looking taken aback. Only L's face remained unchanged.

"Miss Amachi," he said at length, in a quiet tone. "It is far too late for that. You were involved from the moment you began following Light Yagami."

* * *

They gave her three days to adjust back to life and her new circumstances, before the paperwork was thrust in front of her face once again. She suspected that the old man, Watari, and perhaps a few of the other police officers, had taken compassion on her and argued on her behalf for a bit of reprieve. They had been especially kind and polite to her since her release. Which, she reasoned grimly, must mean that they all knew her story and felt sorry for her.

During this time she was given a modest room adjacent to the suite she had met L in. It was during these three days that she got used to being on her feet again, feeding and dressing herself, and so on. It was a surreal experience, like learning how to be human again. Then again, she already had to relearn how to live once before, when she had come back to life.

Once the three days were up, she found herself seated back at a table across from L, Watari standing by his side. Slowly he pushed a small stack of paperwork across the table to her. He looked at her quietly, expectantly. She stared down at the paperwork, then back up at him.

"So," she stated, crossing her arms. "When you said you were 'inviting' me to work for you…I didn't really have a choice in the matter, did I?"

"Not true," said L. "You had a choice between house arrest, and house arrest while getting to work on the investigation."

"Great," she deadpanned, giving him a glare. This seemed to have no effect on him, so she continued, irritably, "Then why are you making the choice for me? I haven't agreed to be a part of this yet."

"Yet," pointed out L, sticking one pale, skinny finger in the air.

Her glare deepened. "And what makes you think that I will?"

L opened his mouth to speak, when Watari gave a gentle cough beside him. The detective glanced at the older man. "Forgive me, Miss Amachi," he began again after a brief pause. "I see we may have gotten off on the wrong foot about all of this."

"Really." Jubilee's tone was sardonic.

"It was not at all my intention to make your choice for you," L went on without acknowledging her. "I was simply being efficient by calculating the highest likely outcome. My deduction was that you were 70% likely to choose to be on the case, as it would allow you some sense of freedom and purpose, as well as give you a semblance of control over your ultimate fate; and that you were 30% likely to choose house arrest simply to be stubborn and defiant, in which case you would be 95% likely to have flashbacks of your solitary confinement and go stir-crazy within weeks, before lapsing into a severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder due to your overall life experience."

She stared at him aghast. Watari looked upwards and gave a very small, very subtle sigh.

"Therefore," concluded L, "I have wasted no time in making this offer available to you readily and immediately, in the interest of your health."

"My health?" she repeated incredulously. She gestured towards him. "This from the man who locked me up in a room for over a month?"

He gave no response, simply gazed at her calmly. He didn't even look apologetic.

She huffed angrily. "Why do you even _want_ me on the case? I have no experience. I'd just be in the way."

"That is true," replied L. "Unless the gift you claim to have is legitimate—in which case you could be an asset."

She crossed her arms again. "So you want to use me."

"Everyone uses each other, Miss Amachi. I am being used by the police force to track down Kira. Kira is being used by the public to justify their own cravings for vengeance. And perhaps we are all being used by this God of yours that you described, for his own passing entertainment."

Jubilee was about to shoot back a cutting remark when they were interrupted by the door opening. Three people entered. One of them Jubilee recognized instantly as the young man she had followed on that fateful afternoon—Light Yagami. He looked…different. For one thing the black haze was gone from him, and the dark being that had been following him was now nowhere in sight. But for another thing, he looked somehow younger than before; with more innocent vulnerability in his eyes than the quiet confidence which she remembered. Beside him walked an older man who had Light's eyes and nose, and behind him was a pretty blonde girl, petite and no older than twenty. All three of them looked shell-shocked.

"Welcome back, Chief Yagami," said L. "And hello again, Light Yagami, Misa Amane." He gave a slight dip of his head. "I am pleased to see that the two of you did not murder Chief Yagami. Congratulations, you are now cleared of suspicion for being Kira."

Jubilee looked from the newcomers to L, bewildered. What was he talking about?

Matsuda stepped up beside her, leaned over and discreetly whispered, "Those three were also in solitary confinement. They just came back from a drive, during which Chief Yagami, under orders, pulled a gun on the other two to execute them for being Kira. He shot blanks though—the whole thing was staged. Kira only needs a name and a face, so if either of them were Kira, they would have surely killed him before he pulled the trigger."

So that's why they looked so traumatized. She shot L a dark glance. "I'm guessing that was also his idea." This infamous L character was apparently as twisted as he was cunning.

Matsuda nodded in affirmation, but before he could speak again he was addressed by L.

"Matsuda, would you and the other officers please escort these three to the other room that we booked, where they can get some rest and recover from their ordeal? See to it that they get some food as well."

Matsuda snapped to attention. "Yes, Ryuzaki, sir!" He hurried out of the room, barking orders to the other officers and shooing his three charges along like a mother hen, Aizawa rolling his eyes behind him the whole way.

"Huh." Jubilee turned back to L. "So you do care about the wellbeing of some people."

"Actually," corrected L, "I wanted to ask you while we were out of earshot of Light and Misa Amane whether or not you saw anything following him just now."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "I thought you said they were cleared from suspicion?"

"They are, officially. I have no other choice in the matter. But the fact remains that Misa Amane's DNA was found on the tapes carrying the second Kira's messages to the first Kira."

"Second Kira, first Kira…" Jubilee shook her head in bewilderment and raised her hands, palms up, in a gesture of incomprehension. "What's all that about? And how does this still make Light a suspect?"

L pressed a finger, once again, on the paperwork in front of her. "These are all questions that are answered concisely in the file that is included with your work agreement. You will be thoroughly briefed on all details of the case once you sign this." At Jubilee's look of annoyance, he added, "As you requested, Miss Amachi…no more flippantly shared details." This only deepened her glare.

With a heavy sigh, she picked up the first piece of paper and began scanning it.

"As I was asking," continued L as she read, "Did you see the being from before following Light just now?"

Her shoulders slumped a bit and she shook her head. "No. But that's not saying much…I haven't been seeing or hearing much of anything in the spirit lately." Her heart felt heavy at this admission. She missed Hellenos. "So, until that improves, I'm not sure how much of a help I'll— _hey_. Wait a minute." She pointed a finger at a spot on the contract. "What is this?! I am not a ' _psychic specialist.'_ I'm not a psychic, or a specialist."

L gave her a blank look. "It's simply a standard title for the sort of position you are going to fill. They sometimes hire on these sorts of specialists for American police investigations too, I have seen."

"Yes, but I'm not psychic," stated Jubilee flatly.

"It is a much more standard name than _'specialist-who-can-see-angels-and-demons.'_ Or even _'supernatural specialist.'_ That sounds a bit tacky."

"Tacky?" repeated Jubilee. "And 'psychic' doesn't sound tacky?"

"At least it has precedence."

"That still doesn't make it accurate!"

"We don't want to draw undue attention."

"Well, _this_ drew _my_ undue attention."

"That's because it was about you, Miss Amachi, and frankly, not everything is about you."

"What!" she exploded. "Why, you arrogant, puffed up—I could say the same of—"

Watari gracefully stepped between the two with a tray of sweets. "Tiramisu?"

Jubilee stared at the dessert in bewilderment. Where had he even been hiding that?

"Don't mind if I do," said L without hesitation, scooping up two plates and holding one out towards Jubilee as he hopped out of his chair and straightened up. "Some for you, Miss Amachi? I highly recommend it; Watari's homemade desserts are excellent."

"Thank you, sir." Watari bowed.

Jubilee, baffled, accepted the plate without thinking.

L turned to go. "I will leave you to the rest of your reading. I trust you will find the remainder of the contract agreeable, and then there is plenty in the case file for you to catch up on. If you have any questions, Watari will assist you." He walked out of the room, shutting the door to what looked like a separate, dark bedroom behind him.

Jubilee stared after him, then turned to Watari in disbelief. "He just did that thing again, where he just assumed I would sign it."

The old man turned compassionate eyes on her. "Are you not going to?"

She fumbled at that. "Well, yeah, I probably will, but I mean—still—"

He gave her an understanding smile. "He's usually right, my dear," he said, sounding apologetic. "But that doesn't mean he has to act like it," he continued, eyes crinkling. "He's an incredibly smart man, but when it comes to interacting with others, he's still learning—and he has quite a lot to learn. But he means well."

Jubilee considered him for a moment. "Are you his father?" she asked.

Watari's smile softened at that. "No. But I have known him since he was a little boy."

"Well, then, tell me," said Jubilee. "Will L—I mean, Ryuzaki—" She sighed internally—was she really starting to pick up on case lingo now? "Will he really let me go, after all of this is over?"

"Yes," stated Watari with confidence. "Ryuzaki may use unconventional means at times, but at the end of the day, what's most important to him is justice. His only interest is bringing perpetuators of crime like Kira to justice. Once that is done, he will, with all due respect my dear, have little remaining interest in you."

Jubilee was silent at this revelation. If this L character truly was as good of a detective as everyone said he was—and if he truly was that obsessed about bringing all criminals to justice—then she may not be all that safe around him, even after this case was solved.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The day that Jubilee genuinely laughed again, for the first time since she'd been brought into solitary confinement, was the day that she finally heard Hellenos again.

They were all in the lounge of yet another hotel room, days after both she and Light had signed on for the case. She was leaning against a couch, gawking as L calmly and methodically handcuffed himself to Light.

"Are you serious?" she heard her thoughts squealed aloud by Misa Amane. "This is what you meant by being together 24/7?"

"I'm sorry." She coughed. " _Why_ do you want to be together 24/7? What is happening?"

"Yeah, I didn't know you were on _that_ side of the fence, Ryuzaki," quipped Misa.

"I'm not doing this because I want to," said L sharply, addressing Jubilee and pointedly ignoring Misa. "I'm doing this in order to keep a constant eye on Light, as was discussed previously. Didn't you read the case file?"

Jubilee glowered at him. " _Yes_ I read the case file."

"Then, with all due respect, please keep up."

She was about to say something scathing, but Misa beat her to speaking.

"But Light's mine!" whined the petite pop star. "How are we supposed to go on dates?"

"You can go on dates," said L, waving a hand dismissively, "It'll just have to be the three of us."

Misa's eyes bulged. "No way!" she cried in disgust. "Are you saying we have to _kiss_ in front of you and stuff?"

"I'm not saying you have to do anything." L turned and eyed her very seriously. "But I will be watching."

Everybody in the room stared at him for a second, before Misa declared, "You really are just a pervert, aren't you?"

At this, Jubilee slapped a hand to her forehead and began laughing out loud. The absurdity of this whole situation suddenly struck her as incredibly amusing. L, enigmatic prodigy and greatest detective in the world, and Light, genius college student and prime suspect for being the world's most famous criminal mastermind to date, were going to be handcuffed to each other indefinitely, 24/7, until further notice. She knew, based on what she'd read in the case file, that L still deeply suspected Light. And while the latter's undeniably high intellect was the primary reason given for why he had been hired on for the case, she knew that L was also just looking for an excuse to keep close tabs on him.

So all of this inanity was L's way of keeping the kid under surveillance without officially keeping him under surveillance, was it? She couldn't stop giggling. It was so stupid it was brilliant.

Beside her, she felt the tingly sensation of ethereal warmth and almost gasped aloud.

 _Hellenos?_

 _ **About time,**_ said the angel, crossing his arms and giving her a crooked smile. _**I've been waiting for you to lighten up.**_

"Oh man, am I glad to see you," she murmured under her breath. Around her the hubbub of many voices, Misa's higher than the rest, covered her speech. "When can you get me out of here?"

 _ **Out?**_ The angel sounded amused. _**But we only just got you in to right where you're supposed to be.**_

That stopped her cold. "What?" she exclaimed loudly.

Everyone else in the room turned to look at her, but she didn't care. Let them blame it on the insanity they already thought she had.

 _What do you mean?_ she demanded fiercely, turning towards a window and away from the many eyes on her. _I told them my story. Isn't that enough?_

Hellenos fixed her with a look. _**Would a mere story, without action, have brought you back to life?**_

The sound of Misa's wailing distracted her from formulating a response. She turned to look.

"But I'm your girlfriend!" the small girl was complaining as she beat against Light's chest with her tiny fists. "Don't you love me, Light?!"

"Misa Amane." L suddenly leaned towards the blonde girl, his eyes boring holes into hers. She yelped and leapt back behind Light, clutching his arm. "Are you saying," L continued, "That you fell in love with Light that day as soon as you saw him?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" she huffed defensively.

"What were you wearing?"

"What?" exclaimed Misa in disgust. "How should I remember? Why do _you_ care what I was _wearing?_ " She narrowed her eyes at him. "Is this another part of your sick hobby?"

L ignored her questions. "Are you also saying, Misa, that after that day, you knew Light Yagami's name without speaking to him?"

"Yes." Misa crossed her arms over her chest impatiently.

"You fell in love with Light and knew his name without even interacting with him first?" L fixed the blonde girl with his unblinking stare.

Misa angrily shoved her face up to his. "What's wrong with that?"

Against her better judgment, Jubilee heard her own voice interrupting them. "Wait, wait, wait a second," she cut in impulsively, one hand raised for emphasis. Darn them all for drawing her in. She stared at Misa. "Whaddya mean you fell in _love_ with him and knew his name without even talking to him first? What?" She stared at the other inhabitants of the room, including Hellenos. "That doesn't make any sense. Right? Somebody tell me that that doesn't make any sense, and that I'm still on planet earth."

There was silence for a moment, before Matsuda meekly volunteered, "That doesn't make any sense."

Hellenos grinned, looking highly amused. _**I agree.**_

Misa looked affronted. "But I'm telling the truth!"

"Listen," said Jubilee, "I'm no genius detective or whatever, but it doesn't take rocket science to know that you can't tell someone's name just by looking at them. Not naturally, at least," she added, glancing at Hellenos. "So…?" She waved a hand in Misa's direction in an invitation to explain. Misa just stared at her dumbly. She sighed. "How did you find out Light Yagami's name?" she asked slowly, articulating each word as if to a child.

Misa's mouth opened and closed like a fish for a few moments. Finally, she threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know, alright?" she cried. "I can't remember how I found out, I just did, and then we started going out." She turned back to L and her expression reverted back to one of anger. "And things were going just fine until YOU showed up!"

She continued to babble on, delivering a verbal barrage at L. Jubilee turned back towards the window and Hellenos.

"This is weird," she muttered. " _They're_ weird." She jabbed a finger discreetly at the ensemble gathered behind her, still arguing. "All of them. And yet they think I'm the crazy one."

 _ **You complain, but I think you rather enjoyed playing detective back there just now.**_ Hellenos glided to stand beside her, gazing out the window at the setting sun.

Jubilee sniffed. "Did not."

 _ **You were rather good at it.**_

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop."

 _ **Jubilee.**_ The angel's voice had sobered. She glanced up at him with wide eyes. _**In all seriousness, you must learn to trust and embrace your circumstances.**_

She turned away again to stare at the sunset, stubbornly crossing her arms.

 _ **Go on. Go and talk to him.**_

"Talk to who?"

 _ **Your employer.**_

" _What?_ "

Hellenos heaved a heavy sigh and looked skywards. _**Honestly, Jubilee…you've seen heaven, angels, and God Himself face to face. Surely you know that getting along with your fellow man is fundamental.**_

"Why don't you tell that to _him?_ " She jabbed a finger back in L's direction. "And if it's fundamental, then maybe Dad should have waited 'til I got that part down first before He sprung the rest on me." She turned back to the window and crossed her arms again. "Seems a little bit out of order, doesn't it?"

 _ **If He waited for everyone to get their act together before He showed them grace, we'd all be waiting into eternity.**_ He considered her out of the corner of his eye. _**Surely you know by now that grace is given, not earned?**_

"Do I?"

He turned and fixed her with a stern look. _**You do, but as is the human condition, you make yourself forget.**_

She stubbornly said nothing.

She was sure he was about to sigh again, but after a lengthy pause, he simply said, _**As that grace has been freely given to you, so you now have the opportunity to give it to others. But do what you want.**_ He turned back to the window with an air of indifference. _**You humans, after all, have free will.**_

Jubilee threw up her hands in exasperation and defeat. She hated it when he played that card. Every time he stopped pestering her and told her to just do what she wanted, it was a surefire way to make her do the opposite. Turning on her heel, she marched over to L, Hellenos gliding smugly beside her. The rest of the task force was still busy arguing amongst themselves. L turned to face her. Beside him Light, still handcuffed to him, was trying to calm Misa down.

She stopped abruptly before him. "Hi," she said shortly.

He acknowledged her silently with a nod.

"So." She looked from him to Light and back. "Let me get this straight. If what you want to be true is true," She indicated Light with a gesture, "Then you're basically deliberately chaining yourself to a serial killer."

"Pretty much," replied the detective without emotion.

"Who could potentially kill you, at any moment, supernaturally."

"Yep."

"That's…either really brilliant, or really stupid. And crazy."

 _ **Most humans are a combination of all three,**_ Hellenos pointed out.

"I'm usually the first," said L humorlessly.

"Huh," was all Jubilee said.

An awkward silence passed.

"Well." Jubilee turned to go. "Good luck." She marched back to her position in front of the window.

Hellenos glided back to her side again. _**Is that what you call trying to get along?**_ he asked dryly.

"What? I said good luck."

Hellenos rolled his eyes, something he must have newly picked up from her. _**And you think he's the asocial one.**_

Jubilee didn't respond at first. Chewing her lip in thought, she turned back to Hellenos after a beat. "I thought of something I can embrace about my circumstances."

 _ **Oh? And what would that be?**_

She pointed at L. "At least _I'm_ not the one chained to him."

* * *

In the days that followed, Jubilee did her best to be more cordial around the strange character known as L. It was difficult, considering the man had tied her up and locked her in a room for over a month and she was still not quite over that yet. But two things helped.

The first was Light. Against all her expectations, the kid was actually polite and even charming. Completely gone was the dark and sinister haze that had shrouded him back when she first laid eyes on him. Now he engaged her in friendly small talk each day as they worked together, while the detective brooded silently at his side in quiet observation, darting occasional furtive glances at his suspect. With a youthful sort of innocence, Light would try to draw L into the conversation so that it would be between all three of them. Perhaps it was on behalf of him being younger than both L and Jubilee, but they both managed to speak to each other in a more civil manner with him around.

The second thing that helped her have a gradual change of heart towards L was Watari. The kindly old man acted as an ambassador of sorts between her and the detective, particularly now that the latter could no longer interrogate her privately.

"Good morning, my dear," he greeted her jovially one morning while delivering a mug of hot coffee to her door. "I've taken the liberty of ordering room service for you, so your breakfast should arrive shortly. Also, Ryuzaki would like to confirm whether you have been seeing anything new lately?"

"Thank you," she said in surprise, reaching out for the mug. Its contents smelled rich and aromatic, unlike the instant coffee provided in her room. Watari must have brought along his own coffee grounds and machine to use at the suite he shared with L. "Er—yes, I have been able to see my guardian angel again, as was the norm before…but I have not seen anything around Light. The dark aura from before is gone, along with the demon." In the back of her mind she mused over just how bizarre this conversation sounded.

"Very good," Watari nodded, taking this information in stride. "If you should ever see anything out of the ordinary, please alert me. Now, is there anything in your accommodations that we can provide to make you more comfortable?"

She was unused to this sort of attentiveness and consideration. "Huh? Oh, uh, no, this is fine, thanks," she stammered, gesturing to the small but cozy room behind her.

"Ryuzaki insisted that your every request be met to make you comfortable, so please do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything."

She was taken aback by this. "He did?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes." Watari looked guilty for a second, then added, "Granted, it is because he theorized that the more comfortable you were, the clearer your spiritual senses would be. Which, I must personally interject, is not always true; but in this case I agree with doing all that we can to make you feel at peace."

She sighed. Nobody was nice just to be nice anymore, were they? Though she wasn't one to talk. Former pickpocket and all that. "I see," she said.

"Do not think too badly of him, Miss Julie," said Watari then. "He has a good heart…he's just learning how to use it."

She considered the old man for a moment. "I know you must be close to him," she said at last, "But frankly, and with all due respect, he doesn't seem to have a heart. That's just my observation though," she added quickly, suddenly mortified that she had spoken so candidly.

To her surprise, the old man just chuckled. "You are more like him than you think, my dear," he said, then added with a twinkle in his eye, "With all due respect."

She arched a brow skeptically. "How is that?"

"Everything that he says, as jarring as it may sound, is simply a passive observation…from his perspective at least," Watari explained. "He never means it as an insult. The poor boy just doesn't realize that most of the world would take it as one." He shook his head, then smiled. "The concept of offense goes right over his head. He hasn't had much interaction with other people, you see, so how would he have gained that concept? You might notice that he rarely seems insulted by anybody or anything."

Jubilee considered this, and with a sinking realization found that it was true. No amount of screaming or criticism that either she or Misa hurled at him ever seemed to faze him. She had always thought it was his infuriating way of acting like he was right, but now she saw that it was because wasn't even thinking of himself. It was because he was single-mindedly focused on the task at hand—which, in this case, was the investigation.

She turned away. "Then he's a better person than me," she said softly. Over her shoulder, she called, "Thank you, Watari, I'll be over after breakfast."

With a nod, he closed the door behind her. She turned and leaned her back against it, thinking.

"Hellenos," she said at length. "Did you notice that that old man glows…the way Pastor Andrews did?"

Hellenos crossed his arms. _**Are you really asking me that?**_

She started laughing, and he, after a moment, joined in.

"It's boring when you can already see everything and know everything," she complained at last, still giggling. "How am I ever supposed to surprise you?"

Hellenos smiled at her. _**Trust me…you humans never cease to surprise us.**_

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all reviewers so far, including guest reviewers Alice, Jen, and anyone else who may have left a review without their name. I am so happy for your readership, and hearing from you all always makes me smile!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Pastor William Andrews rushed through the entrance doors of the Chicago Heart of Trust Hospital as fast as his feet would carry him. Rushing to the front desk, he let words tumble out past his labored breathing.

"There was a girl—about early twenties—car accident," he stammered out, trying to catch his breath. "I mean, she was _in_ a car accident. Ah, um, brown hair, and—" He gestured wildly in an attempt to come up with more descriptions.

The woman at the desk listened to him calmly—clearly she was accustomed to this sort of frenzied behavior in her work environment—then scrolled through a list on the computer monitor in front of her. "Yes," she said after a moment of quick study, "They notified me about you coming. Room 106B, down the hall and to your left."

"Thank you." He ran in the direction that she pointed.

His rushing was all in vain though, for he found that when he reached the door of 106B he was barred from entering. So for twenty minutes he paced the floor outside of the room, wringing his hands and waiting. One would have thought it was his own daughter behind that door. As it stood, however, he had no daughters, and this girl was a complete stranger to him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity to him, a doctor stepped out along with the paramedic from before.

"This is the guy," the paramedic indicated William with a pointed finger. "Glad you made it, man," he addressed William.

The doctor extended a hand. "I'm Dr. Saunders."

William reached out and shook his hand. "William. Er—Pastor William Andrews."

"Thank you for making it, Pastor. I heard about what happened and I understand you'll want to know how the patient is doing. She's still passed out from shock, but all her vitals are stable now. It will probably take her a year or so to recover and rehabilitate, based on her injuries. Do you know if she has any family we can contact?"

"I—I don't know. I never met her before today."

"I see." The doctor stopped to make a note on his clipboard.

William tried to wait patiently but couldn't. "Could I see her?" he asked.

Dr. Saunders looked up. "Yes, but she's still unconscious at the moment…You could come back, anytime during visiting hours."

"Ah." William suddenly felt very heavy and tired from the past hour of frantic rushing and worrying. The girl was safe, and that was what mattered. "I think I will."

"In the meantime, Pastor, I was wondering if you could answer some questions so we can better fill out her patient file. Gary here—" He indicated the paramedic beside him, "Told me the details of the incident already, but if you could confirm…"

William was exhausted but nodded. "Yes." He silently prayed for strength. "Of course."

* * *

Darkness was the first thing that Jubilee was conscious of when she came to. Darkness, and cool air. Then, gradually, the sensation of stiff sheets against her skin also came into her awareness. A gentle, electronic beeping sounded somewhere over her head. An aching in her bones and a dull throb that stretched along the back of her neck and straight into her skull permeated her consciousness.

She groaned weakly.

It suddenly dawned on her that the darkness she was seeing was the inside of her own eyelids. She was about to make the effort to crack them open, when a faint memory flitted through her mind of what she had seen the last time she opened her eyes.

Her breath hitched as she remembered everything that had happened.

Cautiously she cracked one eye open, then the other. Her vision looked fairly normal once more. She was lying on a cot inside a hospital room with plain white walls and white curtains lining a small window. The air looked the way it should—no strange lights or colors. Except…except for a soft glow coming from over…

She glanced to her left where a gentle light was coming from, flinched severely, and promptly squeezed her eyes shut again. A moan escaped her lips from the pain that her sudden jerk had caused.

There was an angel sitting beside her.

 _This isn't happening,_ she thought. _I'm dreaming_.

 _ **Peace,**_ said the angel, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder. _**Be still.**_ The pain slowly eased away.

Jubilee opened her eyes wide and stared at the being beside her. It was seated in a wooden chair by her bedside. Both looked equally authentic. "You're real," she breathed.

 _ **Quite,**_ was all it said. Jubilee could not discern whether it was male, female or neither. Its voice rang through her head in a way that was unmistakable yet inaudible; with a power that was much like the voice that had spoken to her in the realm beyond, but not quite as multi-faceted or resonant—as if this voice speaking to her now was a rushing river, and the other one was the ocean which it came from. Somehow she was sure that this was the same bright being that had been standing beside her back at the wreckage site. When she looked at the creature's face, however, the brightness there no longer scorched her eyes like it did before at the scene of the car wreck. She still couldn't make out its features entirely though. She thought it looked like it might be smiling at her. Glancing about herself, she momentarily wondered why she no longer saw other colors or beings in the air.

 _ **The Father decided to dial things down for you a notch,**_ said the angel suddenly, as if in answer to her thoughts. _**The fullness of true sight was too much for your mind to handle in its current state. And yes…I was the one with you at the wreck.**_

Jubilee stared at the angel. Could it hear her thoughts?

 _ **Yes.**_

"Okay," said Jubilee out loud. "This is weird. Why—" She stopped, coughing. Her throat was dry.

 _ **Water?**_ The angel gestured to her bedside table, where a bottle stood waiting. Jubilee tried to prop herself up on one elbow but couldn't. The angel touched her lightly on the arm, and suddenly she found that she had the strength to easily reach the water bottle. Impatiently she grabbed it, twisted it open and took several big gulps.

At last she set the bottle back down and turned to face the angel once more. "Okay," she said again. "So…I have some questions."

 _ **Yes,**_ said the angel agreeably, sitting back as if to make itself comfortable. _**Please, begin your onslaught of inquiry.**_ Now she was positive that he—it seemed more and more like a he to her now—was smiling.

"First of all," she began, but it was as far as she got before the doors to her room suddenly opened and a man walked in.

He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw that she was awake. They stared at each other for a long moment in uncertainty.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "Hello." He started forward again unsurely. "My name is William. I'm a pastor."

Jubilee slid her gaze as discreetly as she could to her left, then had to struggle to keep her jaw from dropping. The angel was gone.

"Um, hi," she said to the man, trying to maintain her composure. "I'm Jubilee."

The man's eyes lit up. "Like the year of Jubilee?"

Her tongue caught in her throat and her mouth suddenly felt dry again. How did he—? But of course he knew, she suddenly realized. He was a pastor.

"Yes," she said. "My parents—" Here she paused for a moment, struggling before she could continue, "They named me that because the year I was born, they had just been able to pay off all their debt. Which didn't last long, but they always used to tell me that I brought them a release from all debts, the way a year of Jubilee did for the Israelites." She clamped her mouth shut as she finished, stunned that she had shared so much. The story behind her name was something she had not revealed to anyone since her mother had died.

"Ah." William smiled. "They have good taste."

"Had."

"Oh," said the man after a pause, looking pained, "I'm so sorry." He clasped his hands together nervously. "Is there—do you have any other family?"

She suddenly felt cold out of the covers. She burrowed her hands back under them. "No," she said emotionlessly.

There it was in the man's eyes—pity. How she hated that look. But it wasn't the man's fault, she reasoned to herself. No, she thought, taking a deep breath to calm her thoughts. No, this man simply felt compassion for her. So she ought to extend the same compassion towards him, by not resenting him.

Suddenly the glow appeared at her side again, and she had to refrain from jumping. The angel was back.

"Do you—remember me, by any chance?" asked William amidst the confusion in her mind.

"Remember you?" She shook her head, as much to clear it as to answer him. "Should I? Do I know you from somewhere?" She tried not to stare at the angel. Why had it disappeared and then reappeared? Her first guess had been that it didn't appear in front of other humans. Her next was that she had hit her head much harder than she had thought and the angel was a hallucination. Which could still be the case…

 _ **I've been here the whole time,**_ said the angel. _**You simply stopped seeing me for a moment.**_

 _Why?_ she wondered to herself.

 _ **You felt fear when he walked in. It only just started to dissipate.**_ The man was starting to speak again. _**I'll explain more later.**_

"I was there…at the scene of the wreck," William was saying. He sounded cautious. "I was there when you…when you came back."

Beside her she felt the angel lift his hand once more and touch a finger to her temple. An image floated into her memory—it was William's face, hovering over her with worry and shock.

"Yes," she said with sudden realization. "I remember now."

William waited a beat, but when she said nothing else, he continued, "I prayed for you."

She looked at him, confused.

"When you died," he explained, looking suddenly nervous and excited all at once, "I asked them to let me pray over you, for your passing. And then…and then you came back."

She stared at him for a moment longer, as the memories of everything she had seen swirled through her head and clicked into place like a finished puzzle. _Father, into your hands I commend this spirit,_ she had heard a voice say, back when she was shooting towards the void. A voice that sounded like this man's voice.

"Oh," was all she could say at first.

Another awkward beat passed.

"Well," said William at last. He gave her a kind smile. "I'm very happy to see that my prayer was answered—albeit not in the way I expected. It was…it was probably the greatest move of God's I've seen yet, and I've seen quite a few." He turned to go.

"I saw my dad," she heard herself say. William turned back.

"I saw him," she repeated shakily, and found that tears were streaming down her face. She didn't know whether they were out of sadness or joy. "I talked with him. He said my mom was there too. And he—he—then _He_ came, and…and I…" She broke down into something unintelligible.

Beside her, the angel glowed brighter.

And then she saw it again…the softer glow coming from the other man. He beamed at her.

"Welcome back to earth," he said gently. "There must be great plans in store for you."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Welcome to the new headquarters," announced L to the group of gawking task force members.

They were all standing in the lobby of a brand new high-rise building. L had apparently ordered construction of the downtown structure months ago, declaring just yesterday that they would be working there from now on. Jubilee had been irritated at first at being moved around yet again, but now she stood as impressed as everyone else. The building boasted twenty-three floors aboveground, two floors underground, two penthouse suites—one of which was assigned to her and the other to Misa, though the pop star got to have the rest of the floor as well—two swimming pools, a theater room…and, apparently, a helipad with two helicopters hidden on the roof. Maybe house arrest wouldn't be such a bad gig after all.

"Wow, Ryuzaki!" exclaimed Matsuda, spinning around to admire everything. "You had this place made just for us?"

"For the investigation," corrected L, lifting one finger in the air with his handcuffed hand. Light, startled by his arm involuntarily lifting along with the detective's, gave him a look.

"Right," murmured Matsuda, too engrossed with his lavish surroundings to feel slighted. To Jubilee, he whispered, "I'm almost jealous, Miss Julie! You get one of the best rooms in the building."

Jubilee laughed. "Well, at least _you_ have your freedom."

Matsuda looked abashed. "Oh. Right."

L had walked ahead of them into a larger room in the back. Watari ushered them to follow. "This way to the main room, please," he offered politely.

Jubilee and the others went obediently. The main room opened up before them with high ceilings and industrious looking steel walls. At its end stretched a long, smooth desk from corner to corner of the room, set up with computer stations for each member of the team. Above that was mounted a large, flat screen monitor, with several smaller monitors lined up along its sides. It took up nearly the entire wall. With the exception of a comfortable looking chaise lounge arranged beside a glass coffee table off to the side, and an opposite doorway leading into a kitchen area, the overall feel of the room was one of somber minimalism.

"We having movie nights?" asked Jubilee dryly, indicating the large screens with a dip of her head.

L, already crouched on a swivel chair before one computer, answered by hitting a button that switched the screen on. The monitors flickered to life, high pixilated images of every floor of the building appearing beside each other in neat boxes.

A beep sounded and movement flickered in the box at the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Aizawa was pulling in at the basement-level parking garage, ringing the bell for entrance.

"Let us test out our new security system, shall we?" said L. He pressed a button.

Jubilee and the others watched as Aizawa stuck his head out the car window, proceeded to push in a sequence of numbers on the keypad, look into a retina scan, then exit his car and pass through a lengthy security check that involved taking off first his belt, then his watch, then his shoes.

"Why didn't we have to do all that?" murmured Matsuda in bafflement as, onscreen, Aizawa began cursing when he was denied entrance for the fifth time in a row.

"I trust all of you," stated L simply.

"But not Aizawa?"

"I trust him as well," said L, then added, matter-of-factly, "This is simply for my own passing entertainment." At his last two words he sent a small, imperceptible glance Jubilee's way.

Jubilee resisted the urge to smirk, simply because she had decided that she still didn't like the man, and thus didn't want to give him the satisfaction of her finding him funny. Instead she looked sidelong at Hellenos. _This one likes to play god almost as much as Kira does,_ she thought dryly.

 _ **Most humans do, given the opportunity and power,**_ said Hellenos, no humor in his tone. Jubilee didn't respond.

Onscreen Aizawa, in a fit of frustration, had stripped off his trousers and was facing the camera, arms wide in an invitation of combat, eyes daring whoever was behind the security camera to deny him entrance one—more—time.

"Let him pass, Watari," said L. The old man obediently pressed a button, and sliding doors behind them suddenly opened to admit entrance to the angry policeman, who strode in with his trousers draped across one arm. On his forehead was a bandage.

"What's wrong?" asked Chief Yagami. "Did you get hurt?"

"What? Oh this." Aizawa's hand went involuntarily to the bandaged area. "Eh, kind of. I had a little fight with my wife, and…" He faltered for a moment uncomfortably. "It's just that my daughter's still young, and I'm hardly ever at home as it is, so…"

Chief Yagami's face remained expressionless. "Ah yes. It's probably best if you sleep at home."

Jubilee began to tune out as the awkward subject matter continued to be discussed, now with Matsuda's loud and somewhat ignorant input added in. She had learned to do this—shut out what was uncomfortable to hear—back in college. The unending string of condolences, questions about whether she was okay or needed anything, and stories of peoples' _own_ losses—in some misguided attempt to provide her comfort through solidarity—had pushed her to a snapping point that made her shut down. Now, the habit was conditioned into her.

So instead of listening she took in her surroundings. Though L's sense of style was somewhat questionable—the main work area echoed a modernized dungeon, for goodness' sake…a dungeon with Wi-Fi and TV—there was no questioning that enormous expense went into all of it.

"How did you get the money for all this?" she asked L while the other officers continued their conversation.

L barely spared her a glance. "I take this investigation very seriously," he answered. Which was no answer at all.

"You're rich." Jubilee made the statement for him. He didn't reply, which irritated her so she added, somewhat callously, "What are you then, a trust fund baby?"

The man declined to respond, but it was Hellenos who spoke up.

 _ **Never assume you know a person's past when you don't.**_ The angel's voice drifted into her head from where he stood beside her, and she suddenly felt deeply reprimanded though she didn't know why.

 _Sorry,_ she thought, but was too proud to say it aloud. Or, perhaps, too afraid to be vulnerable.

"So basically…you're Batman," she said instead.

L finally turned to her. His expression was blank, and held neither resentment nor any serious interest. "Who?"

She stared at him. "Are you serious?"

He gazed at her for a beat, then said, "I don't get out very much."

She snorted. "That much is clear." The man looked like the living dead, he was so pale.

There she went again, saying mean things, thinking mean things. Judging other people. She felt guilt, that ever familiar burden, weighing down on her.

 _ **You could just say sorry.**_

But instead, she blundered on in her blind attempt to socialize without having to open herself up, to connect without really connecting. "Batman is a superhero who uses his vast wealth and intellect to build all the equipment and technology that he needs in order to defeat the bad guys." She gestured at the detective and at the main room. "He also tends to hole himself up in his own personal, high-tech man cave during most of his waking hours. Like you. Oh, and Watari—" She gestured at the old man, who was now stationed by the wall with a refreshment cart that had somehow magically metamorphosed beside him, "Is your Alfred."

L scrutinized her for a moment, as if measuring her sanity. "So this…Batman…is part man, part bat?" he asked at length.

At this Jubilee began laughing; not at him, but out of genuine amusement. Part of her wanted to reprimand herself for breaking so soon, wanted to stubbornly hold on to stoic resistance against bonding. But the other part of her couldn't help it…L's innocence was like that of a child who asks if grapefruit tastes like grapes, or if starfish are part star, part fish. For all his smarts he still had a childlike naïveté.

"No more than you are part man, part monkey," she said at last with a grin, gesturing at his signature crouched position on the chair. He simply looked at her blankly, not comprehending. She waited for herself to feel annoyed at this, but the feeling didn't come.

Satisfied without a response, she turned away to take a seat at the workstation labeled with her name. She glanced at Hellenos by her side.

 _Progress?_ she asked, with an arch of her brow and an upward twitch of her lips.

Hellenos rolled his eyes but smiled. _**Progress,**_ he affirmed.

* * *

They all got used to living and working together as the days wore on, save Aizawa who returned home at nights. Chief Yagami returned home once every week or two to see his wife and daughter. Light didn't get the same luxury, due to being indefinitely handcuffed to L. And Jubilee? She may not have been in handcuffs, but she may as well have been. It wasn't just that she was under constant surveillance like Misa and the rest of them. It was that she actually felt the investigation winding itself around her like chains. She was starting to feel invested.

And in any case, even if she wasn't under house arrest, what family had she to go home to?

She shoved the thought away, covering it up deep under layers of concentration, analysis and statistics, just like she had done with school, just like she had done with thieving. This case had become her new kleptomania; something to channel her energy into and distract herself from things she didn't want to remember.

 _ **The point isn't to numb yourself,**_ piped up Hellenos, lips looking downturned. _**How do you humans always manage to take a good thing and turn it into an—**_

"An idol?" she muttered under her breath, as she clicked a video file on the computer in front of her.

 _ **I was going to say an unhealthy addiction, and spare you the preachy terminology. But yes. That as well.**_

It was the most he had said in days. He had been unusually quiet lately, still present and visible to her sight but offering less and less insight the more Jubilee delved into the case. It annoyed her.

 _You're of little help, Hellenos,_ she thought to him sourly as she scanned, for the seventh time, the recent kill statistics on a document beside her, before returning her focus to the video that had opened up on her screen. It was public security footage of Light, strolling through the streets of Tokyo on his way to school. Beside him strolled the menacing demon she had seen before, visible to no one else's eyes but hers and the Light in the video, who occasionally bobbed his head towards the demon as if in agreement or acknowledgment.

She had seen this video and countless other ones like it multiple times by now, but still couldn't make any sense of them. The current Light had been genuinely and positively bewildered when she had reported what she could see in the public security footage videos featuring him. The rest of the task force members had simply looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably. No doubt they had thought she was crazy. Again. Only L had listened to her with a quiet and unsurprised receptivity, thumb stuck into the corner of his mouth in a sign of intense thought. But he had said nothing. She had no idea if he actually believed her…or what any of this could mean.

Jabbing her finger at the spot on the screen where the demon stood, she projected her feelings of frustration onto Hellenos. _Surely you have some idea of something. Like what that thing is and where it went. So fess up. What's going on here?_

Hellenos remained tight-lipped. _**It is the privilege of God to conceal a matter, and the honor of kings to seek it out,**_ he intoned cryptically.

 _That's from the bible,_ she snapped. _I don't need a walking talking bible. I already have one in print._

 _ **Then maybe you should open it once in a while.**_

"That's enough of your snark," she hissed.

"Huh?" said Matsuda from beside her, bewildered. "Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Amachi, I didn't—"

"What? No, no," protested Jubilee. "I wasn't talking to you. You're fine. And please, call me Julie."

Matsuda smiled sheepishly. "Thank you, Julie." He looked around curiously. "Who were you talking to?"

Her smile disappeared. "You don't want to know," she said darkly, and went back to her work.

Next to her, she could hear Matsuda whisper worriedly to Aizawa, "She's doing that delusional thing you were talking about again." Aizawa sharply hushed him.

A couple chairs down L looked up. Light, engrossed in whatever work he was engaged in on his screen, did not notice. L turned back to his own screen and rapidly began clicking and typing.

In a matter of moments a message had popped up on Jubilee's screen: _What is it?_

Jubilee, feeling in a less charitable mood towards him than she was on her better days, didn't think before typing back: _You're supposed to say hello first, especially if you're already bypassing the standard courtesy of asking someone for something to their face. Did your mother never teach you manners?_

There was a lengthy pause before the response came. _My apologies. Small talk is not my strong suit. I am using this medium for the sake of discretion, due to my being handcuffed to Light._

 _Oh yeah?_ she typed back. _And whose fault is that?_

She could almost hear him sigh in her head, before she realized someone actually _had_ sighed, and it was Hellenos. His sigh echoed through her mind at the same time L's response came: _Mine, I suppose._

There was nothing else for a moment. Then: _And I take responsibility for that. What can we do to ease your mood, Miss Amachi? Your state of wellbeing is paramount to this investigation._

 _Oh really?_ she wrote in response, still feeling in a snit. _So now you care about how I feel?_

 _I always did._

 _Because it benefits you,_ she shot back.

 _Yes. And it will benefit you as well, if you will stop being stubborn and allow it to. So what can I do to make things better for you?_

She paused, the weight of the conversation finally settling on her. Out of the two of them, L was the one choosing to turn the other cheek in the face of conflict. The irony of it could have killed her.

"Shouldn't I know better by now?" she groaned under her breath to herself.

Hellenos gave her a compassionate pat on the back. _**Don't worry,**_ he told her. _**If you had a nickel for every time I've heard a human say or think that, you'd be a very rich woman.**_

Shaking her head but feeling slightly comforted, Jubilee typed back a response: _Nothing. I was just being cranky. I'm sorry._

She let the apology sit for a moment, feeling uncomfortable. Then she quickly added, _It was just my guardian angel talking to me. He was being annoying._

 _ **Thanks,**_ said Hellenos.

 _Ah,_ was L's response. _I was unaware that 'annoying' was a term that could apply to angels._

 _You have no idea,_ wrote Jubilee.

 _ **I'm right here, you know,**_ said Hellenos.

 _What did he say?_ asked L.

 _I tried to get him to give me a clue as to what's going on in the investigation, but all he would tell me is that I should read my bible._

A few feet to her right she heard L _hmm_ to himself. Then, with a quick tap of his fingers, a final reply appeared on Jubilee's screen: _Excellent idea._

"Watari," called L without missing a beat. "Bring your bible to me, if you'd please."

The old man looked shocked—a rare expression for him. "What?"

"What?" echoed Jubilee in bewilderment, then, with indignation, "What!"

"What?" asked L innocently. "It is a logical resource for me to use in this investigation, considering the circumstances." He addressed the old man. "Watari, your days of pestering me in my childhood have finally paid off. Bring me your bible, please."

Watari had regained his usual composure. Expressionless, he bowed and left the room. Moments later he was back, a thick and weathered volume held between his fingers. He handed the book over to L, who, without a pause, flipped it open and began poring through its pages.

Jubilee glared at the detective. Was he doing this to spite her? "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

L didn't bother to look at her as he rapidly flipped from one page to the next. "I should think that would be obvious, Miss Amachi," he said. "I'm conducting research."

Beside her, Hellenos, much to her great annoyance, began laughing. The sound was audible only to her ears, but all around her the members of the team, for reasons they couldn't quite fathom, found themselves suddenly smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Pastor Andrews and his wife Susan became like family to Jubilee in the months during her recovery. They drove her back and forth from her apartment to her rehab program at the hospital. Susan would often drop by Jubilee's apartment with a pot of soup or a lasagna. Jubilee was constantly invited over to their house for dinner.

Her injuries were healing at a remarkable speed. At first, Jubilee could barely use the bathroom without a nurse assisting her, but within a week she was walking on her own again, albeit slowly, and so she was released from hospital stay. In another two weeks her back brace was no longer necessary, and the scars on her forehead had faded. Within a month she no longer even had a limp. The doctors were all perplexed by her record time recovery. William and Susan simply smiled and said that the hand of God must be upon her. She said nothing, only looked at the angel who stood by her side day in and day out.

William soon invited her to his church. To appease him and Susan she attended occasionally, but the experience always made her feel uneasy. At nearly every service her senses were battered with an onslaught of different sights and sensations. The other members of the congregation, sitting amongst the pews around her, emanated lights and colors of varying intensity. Some glowed like William and his wife, but many were shrouded in something dark and unpleasant that trailed after them like a cloud. The overall experience made her feel lightheaded and sick all at once.

One time, sitting in the pews during one of William's sermons, she mentally asked the angel how it was that he was the only angelic being there with her.

 _ **The only one?**_ he had asked, seeming amused. _**Heavens no. But you can hardly handle what you are seeing as it is. Imagine if you saw every single angel, archangel, demon, principality, or fallen angel that was following every single human…not to mention the many others that are just drifting about. It could make you pass out again, at best…or drive you mad, at worst.**_ At this, his tone became more somber. _**And we can't have that.**_

Jubilee gulped. Demons? The thought struck fear into her heart. She hadn't seen one since the car wreck, and it hadn't occurred to her that she might ever see one again. To be honest, she had sort of repressed the incident. Surely she wouldn't have to see one again, would she?

Goosebumps formed on her arms at the thought, and a sudden chill washed over her. She shivered and hugged her arms to her chest, drawing concerned gazes from the people sitting beside her. One man offered her his sweater but she shook her head, feeling slightly nauseous.

 _ **Have courage,**_ said the angel in a steely tone, touching her elbow lightly and giving a hard and steady gaze at something beside her that she couldn't see. She didn't want to think about what it might be. _**Don't be afraid.**_

The angel's words and supernatural touch soothed her somewhat, but didn't keep her from thinking that perhaps, for now, repressing such thoughts wouldn't be such a bad thing. She spent the rest of that service staring ahead at William's form at the pulpit, and trying to think of nothing.

Eventually the angel did explain to her what he meant when he had talked to her about fear, back at the hospital. But, interestingly, it was William who brought it up first.

"Don't be afraid of making new friends," he said one night when she was over for dinner. Susan had served meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

"Hmm?" Jubilee managed around a mouthful of meatloaf. "What do you mean?"

"I noticed that you don't talk a whole lot with the others after service," said William. "It's okay if you're shy, but it's okay to make new friends too."

"Hmm," said Jubilee again noncommittally, as she pretended to be unusually interested in her mashed potatoes.

The truth was that she could hardly keep her head straight whenever anyone at church tried to talk to her. There was one girl, Alexa Marie, who had approached Jubilee with a group of girlfriends after her first service. Susan had introduced Jubilee to everyone as a new visitor, and no doubt this girl thought it charitable of herself to associate with an outsider. A thick gray gunk had clung about her that made Jubilee feel woozy as she got close.

"Hi!" she had said with a big, plastered-on smile. "I'm Alexa Marie. My daddy's one of the deacons and we own that big Italian restaurant down the block. You're Jubilee, right? What do you do?"

"I, uh—" began Jubilee, her head swimming with nausea. A greenish, putrid cloud hung between all of the girls who were currently eyeing her and measuring her clothes, demeanor and overall worth with their eyes. _I'm a thief and a liar,_ an unpleasant voice said in the back of her head. She fought to push it down, glancing about wildly for her guardian angel but unable to see him for the moment. "I don't do much of anything, really. I mean, um, I sell some stuff online, I guess…but I think I'm looking for something else to do."

Something about dying and getting a second chance at life really made one reevaluate one's life choices. Jubilee hadn't stolen anything since her release from the hospital. Nor had she reentered the nightlife scene. Her funds were slowly running out, despite the fact that the Andrews had so generously footed her hospital bill.

"Oh," said Alexa Marie with a look of disinterest and dismissal in her eyes. "That's nice."

"Are you looking for a job?" another girl asked. Red streaks of light spiked through the air from her. "Lexy, she could wait tables for you," she suggested with a giggle.

Alexa Marie smirked. "Maybe," she said. "I'll have to ask daddy."

"No thanks," said Jubilee more bluntly than she meant to. She had to get away from these people. Whatever it was that all the colors and smells coming from them meant, it was making her sick.

They didn't talk to her again after that. Sometimes they would point at her from across the pews and giggle amongst themselves though.

A few others in the congregation were much nicer to her, and less of a mental task to talk to. But every time the inevitable question, "What do you do?" would put utter dread in her. They always wanted to know about her; who she was, how she got to be where she was now. These were questions she didn't want to answer, memories she didn't want to entertain. And so she put up walls, formed vague answers, and talked little.

"Jubilee?" Pastor William's voice brought her back to the present.

Jubilee looked up at him, her fork hanging in the air halfway from her plate to her lips. It had remained there for the last half minute while she was lost in thought. She set it down guiltily. "Yes?"

He gave her a look of compassion. "What are you afraid of?"

She glanced at the angel who glowed silently beside her. He gave her an encouraging gesture. With a sigh, she said, "Of talking about myself."

"Why?"

"Because people would dislike me if they really knew me."

"That's not true at all," interjected Susan. "How could you think that?"

Jubilee hesitated. These were the only two people who she had come to feel somewhat safe around, but even they didn't know about her past and all that she had done. Thankfully, they respected her boundaries and never prodded her on the subject.

She gazed down at her half-eaten plate, no longer hungry. "I don't really want to get into it," she said softly, "But I did some pretty stupid things before…before all of this happened."

Susan reached over the table to take her hand. "Everybody's made mistakes, sweetie."

"And your past does not define who you are," William agreed.

Jubilee looked up at both of them. Her eyes were wide as memories swirled behind them. "I told you about—about what happened to me. About what I saw." She swallowed. "I was going to hell." She let the last statement sit for a second, before continuing, "There must have been a reason for that."

Susan did not let go of her grip on Jubilee's hand. "And then you went to the other place," she said. "There must have been a reason for _that._ "

"Jubilee," said William, "You have no idea how inspiring your testimony would be to so many people, if only you shared it. I know you said no when I asked you to share with everybody at church, but—I wish you'd reconsider. It would change people's lives."

The thought of what William was asking her, once again, to do, sent fear deep into Jubilee's heart. "Who would believe me?" she protested. Beside her, the angel had dimmed.

"More people than you'd think."

"But I'm nobody. I'm nobody special. Even if they did believe me, how would it help them to know?"

"They would know that you don't have to be 'somebody special' to be loved by God. To encounter Him. To get a second chance."

"You don't understand," said Jubilee. "If they understood who I really was—if _you_ knew what I've done…" She bit her lip, before continuing softly, "It would make the whole story a disappointment."

William shook his head. "There is nothing you, or anyone else, has ever done, that can't be forgiven and redeemed."

Jubilee thought of Alyssa crying. She thought of all the people whose trust she had gained just so she could steal something out of their homes, or closets, or wallets. She thought of all the hearts she had broken.

"I doubt it," she said.

Next to her, the angel disappeared.

She took the Metra transit train back to her apartment that night, insisting for the Andrews not to trouble themselves. Her car had sold a week ago to pay for her rent. William and Susan had offered to be her ride until she got back on her feet, or even lend her one of their two cars, but Jubilee couldn't bring herself to continue accepting such charity. She had taken advantage of the charity of others' far too often in her life already, and guilt overwhelmed her.

Sitting on the train, she reflected over what William had said to her last.

" _Read Paul's story, in Acts,"_ he had told her as he dropped her off at the Metra station. _"About how he came to believe."_ And then, just before she had closed the car door behind her, _"You don't have to feel guilty anymore, Jubilee."_

With a sigh, she reached over for her backpack sitting on the seat beside her and pulled out a slim book. It was a copy of the New Testament which William and Susan had given her. She began aimlessly flipping through the pages.

 _ **Try chapters eight and nine,**_ said the angel. He was standing beside her, his balance perfectly steady as the train car lurched forward. _**Of Acts,**_ he clarified.

She glanced up at him. _You're back,_ she thought.

 _ **No,**_ _ **you're**_ _ **back.**_

She measured him for a moment with her gaze. _I stop seeing you when I feel afraid,_ she realized at last. _Why?_

The angel, seemingly pleased with her question, seated himself gracefully on her right in an empty seat. _**Everything has a frequency that it vibrates at,**_ he began to explain. _**Which typically determines its physical density. Every rock, plant, tree, animal, human…even the seat you're sitting on.**_ He gestured at her seat, then at himself. _**I am an exceptionally high vibrational being. Now, humans,**_ He gestured at her and everyone else on the train car, _**Their frequencies can vary slightly from moment to moment, depending on the state that they are in. When you are in a state of fear, for example…you vibrate at a much lower frequency. And that makes it much more difficult to see or grasp things of a high frequency.**_

Jubilee felt tempted to take notes. _So,_ she began slowly, _If someone is afraid, or angry, or sad, then it's impossible to see or hear from angels?_ She gave him a sharp glance. _What good are you then? No offense,_ she added hastily. Communicating mentally made it much more difficult to censor bluntness.

The angel shook his head. _**I didn't say it was impossible. Just not easy, and not usual.**_ He pointed at her. _**You, my human friend, are one of the few unusual cases throughout history. Or one of the many, depending on your perspective.**_ He pointed at the book in her lap then. _**Read chapters eight and nine for another unusual case.**_

Jubilee obeyed, turning the pages to the book of Acts. She read in silence for a long moment. Around her passengers sat twiddling their thumbs or looking at their cell phones, completely oblivious to the girl with a huge angel sitting beside her. One by one they got up and disembarked at each of their stops, until Jubilee was the only one left. Still she read, and then reread again.

At last she looked up. _Is this Paul, as in Saint Paul?_

The angel nodded. _**As in the twelfth apostle, and the one who was commissioned to write most of that book you are holding.**_

"Huh," said Jubilee aloud. A pause as she thought. "I see the point William is trying to make," she said at last. "Paul was a murderer. And yet…" She gestured at the bible in her lap.

The angel smiled and nodded again.

Jubilee leaned back in her seat, staring up at the ceiling of the train car. "I'm a thief and a liar," she said softly to herself. "And yet…" She trailed off for a moment, then looked to the angel again. "And yet here you are before my very eyes."

 _ **Here I am,**_ the angel agreed.

A beat passed as Jubilee mulled all this over. At last she asked, very quietly, "Why would He choose people like me? Like Paul?"

The angel smiled but didn't answer.

She tried another question. "What am I supposed to do now?"

The angel seemed as though he were about to speak, but at that moment the train doors opened and two policemen strode into the train car, chatting with one another as they took their seats several feet down from where Jubilee was sitting. Jubilee turned her eyes back towards the book in her lap so that it wouldn't look like she was staring at and talking to thin air.

"I don't know, Steve," one of the officers was chuckling. "This one's been giving us the slip for a while now…maybe we need someone like L to bring him in!"

"L?" The other officer, Steve, scoffed. "L's the greatest detective in the world. He works the big cases out of Europe offered by Interpol. Not small town cops like us trying to track down a petty thief."

"We're not small town cops, Steve, we live in Chicago," the other officer reminded his colleague.

"I know that, Kevin," said Steve, rolling his eyes. "I meant we're small compared to what a guy like L's used to. He doesn't accept anything less than global. This sort of case would bore the pants off him."

"I bet he'd still do it," insisted Kevin. "I hear the guy is obsessed with getting every criminal in the world locked up, no matter how big or small."

"Right," Steve snorted. "No retirement for him then."

Jubilee briefly wondered to herself whether policemen were supposed to be talking so openly about their work. She was, after all, right there. This seemed sloppy and highly unprofessional.

 _ **No need to judge them,**_ came the angel's voice from beside her. _**Besides, they don't know that you're here. You've been blocked from their sight.**_

Jubilee glanced up at the angel, alarmed, then at the two policemen. They indeed seemed to not notice her at all. _What?_ she thought. _Why?_

 _ **You're meant to hear this.**_

Jubilee's sense of alarm grew, though she wasn't sure why yet. _Why?_ her mind demanded again of its own accord. But the angel didn't have to speak, because the officers were continuing their conversation.

"Either way," the first police officer, Kevin, was saying, "I hope we catch him soon. I'm tired of all these rich snobs filing complaints and threatening to sue us if we don't get them justice."

"Him or her," Steve said.

"What?"

"You hope we catch him _or her_ ," Steve clarified. "It could be a woman, you know."

"No way," said Kevin with a tone of wonder. "You think the Jade Jeweler is a chick?"

Steve shrugged. "Could be. Lots of pro thieves are women these days. You'd be surprised what they can pull off. Most of them figured out that they could fly under the radar more easily."

Jubilee felt her blood go cold. _The Jade Jeweler?_ She recalled that, a few months ago, she had had a particular affinity towards stealing jade pieces. Two ironies suddenly hit her with painful acuity.

One, the moniker that the police had chosen for her had the same initials as her actual name.

And two, it was _her_ who had done sloppy and unprofessional work. It hadn't even occurred to her to diversify the items she should steal. And, just before she had stopped her thieving career, she had committed the biggest blunder of all when she stole Adam's credit card. For one thing, making his acquaintance for a whole two weeks in the first place was a mistake. She didn't know what had gotten into her to do such a thing. Loneliness channeled into recklessness, perhaps. And he was a trust fund kid with multiple credit cards given to him that were shared by his family. He probably never even looked at his bank account or kept track of his expenses. And his parents would assume that any wayward purchases came from either him or one of his rich siblings. As long as she made only a few minor purchases and withdrawals here and there (and minor, for this guy, was anything short of a thousand dollars), she was sure to slip by undetected. Or, at least, that was what she had convinced herself to believe. Then Adam had told her he loved her, and it had obviously addled her common sense even more. What kind of thief decided to disappear immediately _after_ stealing a credit card, in a con situation like that? How _obvious_ had she wanted to be? But, for some reason, the confession had sparked something in her, an excitement that frightened her with its realness. Adam may have been naïve and ignorant of many things, but he was, if nothing else, genuine. And the possibility that that offered her scared her…scared her with all the things she would have to confront and let go of, if she ever wanted to choose that possibility. So she ran.

But perhaps, truth be told, a part of her had wanted to get caught.

She deeply regretted that part now. _Stupid,_ she chided herself. What had she been thinking?

She had been thinking that if Adam really loved her, then he would never report her. She had been thinking that if that were the case, then maybe, one day, she'd consider the possibility that she had found something more valuable than the things she stole. Something that was priceless.

She hadn't been thinking at all.

If Adam ever decided to turn her in—or perhaps he even had by now…it had only been little over a month since she'd seen him last—then it would be no hard task for the cops to connect all the dots. She'd be dead.

"This isn't the kind of crime that gets a death sentence, anyway," Steve was saying. "Maybe just a few years in prison. A decade at the most, if he or she gets really unlucky with the judge. Either way, I hear that L only takes on cases that end with life in prison or a death sentence."

Kevin whistled. "That's intense," he said. "And a decade? Really? The Jade Jeweler only steals from the rich. He's not hurting anybody. If you ask me, a few of his victims probably needed someone to take their heads out of their butts for a bit."

"Yeah, but he or she ain't Robin Hood," said Steve. "The Jade Jeweler may be stealing from the rich, but he—or she—is also keeping everything for him or herself. Face it, Kevin," he waved a hand dismissively, "Every thief is a thief because they're selfish."

Selfish. The truth of that word hit Jubilee like an arrow in the heart. Everything that she had done in the last couple of years had been completely self-serving, without consideration of anyone else. Even now, it was true. More than anything else she was feeling at the moment, more than the guilt and the shame, was one singular thought.

She didn't want to go to jail.

Fear wrestled against remorse within her, and ultimately won out. She had to get out of town, she decided. The next stop was hers and when the train arrived, she hurried off the train car, alone. The angel had faded from her vision at some point. When she reached her apartment at the end of the block, she bounded up the stairs two at a time.

Within the next hour, she had torn through all her belongings in a flurried attempt at packing, and thus discovered the old Visa lying at the bottom of one of her suitcases. It felt like the answer to an illicit prayer, for she had been anxiously pondering over where she could go, what she should do next. When her eyes fell on the Visa, her heart momentarily dropped to her stomach as she remembered her mother, who had lovingly handed it to her on the day of their flight together to Japan. _Keep it,_ she had told Jubilee later when she tried to hand it back. _You might get to use it again someday._

Jubilee's mother used to always keep her passport and traveling papers for her, because when they traveled, they traveled together. Did she have any idea, back then, that the cancer was working itself to her brain? Did she know that the next time her daughter decided to travel, it would have to be without her?

Jubilee shoved these thoughts away. Opening her laptop, she quickly pulled up the page of a travel website. Flights sometimes attempted to fill up their remaining seats by making them cheaper than usual at the last minute. Perhaps she could book one.

Her mouse hovered over the purchase button when she found a flight. If she did go to Japan…then what? What would she do? Where could she stay? Perhaps there was volunteer work she could do…but weren't you supposed to apply for that first? Though surely, if she showed up on the doorstep of one of those places, they couldn't turn her away. In any case, she had enough money to last her for a few weeks, maybe more, while she figured things out. Surely she could come up with a plan by then. She always did.

 _You could stay here._ The thought drifted gently into her head, against her will, before sharpening into a distinct voice. Jubilee felt a light hand on her shoulder, and a dimly glowing presence beside her. _**You could make things right,**_ the angel was saying. It vaguely occurred to her that this was one of those rare instances where she could hear him even though she was still afraid.

Jubilee paused but did not turn towards the angel. _I could never make things right,_ a voice in her head whispered. Knowing that the angel could hear her thoughts, she quickly said aloud, "Paul traveled to Asia too, after his conversion." It was a weak joke, but a good point. She had skimmed past chapters eight and nine and knew that that was what happened. But she knew what came after that, too.

 _ **He also went to prison,**_ the angel said, as she knew he would. She didn't reply. Then, looking sympathetic, he said, _**Know this, human. All things can be made to work out for good...**_ Here he paused a moment, like he was listening, before adding, almost begrudgingly, _**Whatever you choose.**_

Her fingers hovered over the button of her mouse, one click away from her fate.

"I'm sorry," she said at last. "I'm not Paul." She clicked the button.

She was going to Japan.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys! I thought it was high time I take a few minutes to write out a more personable author's note because, let's face it, we in the fanfic/fandom/anime community are a unique bunch who sometimes only ever understand each other, am I right? So I figure we ought to take advantage of opportunities to connect. First of all, thanks so much to everyone who has made it this far with me in the story! I'm so excited to have you on this journey with me, because that's what stories are like for me whether I'm writing or reading them-journeys. And while I do have a basic idea of what will happen in this particular story, sometimes things just happen in the process of writing that surprise me as much as they might surprise you!**

 **So, to catch up with some thoughts and commentary from previous chapters...I confess that I have shoplifted in my past. Not to the extent that Jubilee did, but certainly nothing excusable. Luckily I didn't have to die to realize the error of my ways. So, that part's not totally based on personal experience. XD But I did go through a season of life where I was questioning and seeking a lot about the unseen, and I happened to read up a lot on near-death experiences, also known as NDEs. (Is it still a near-death experience if you actually died but came back? Not sure, but I read up on those reported incidents too.) Interestingly, there are a lot of similarities and overlaps between the various experiences that have been reported. Never thought back then that I'd ever be incorporating any of that into a story, but here we are.**

 **Coincidentally, the day that I uploaded Chapter 4 (the flashback of Jubilee's NDE and the beginning of her spiritual sight), a friend sent me a video of Carl Sagan explaining the 4th dimension, and asked me if I found it applicable to angels and angelic beings. I did as a matter of fact, and it was a neat tie-in to what I had already written out in later chapters. The video itself is a pretty well laid out explanation, for anyone who is interested in that kind of stuff. YouTube, my friends! (But not too much YouTube. I take no responsibility for my readers falling down bottomless YouTube holes.)**

 **That's it from me for now. The next chapter has been started, and I'm about as excited as any of you to see more of L and Jubilee together and how their relationship will progress.** **So until then...questions, comments, thoughts? Ask and share, and I shall answer!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jubilee was in a foul mood. Beside her, at the long desk in the main room of headquarters, L was flipping through that stupid book with unfailing interest, cross-referencing everything that he found with her every other minute. Light, still handcuffed to the detective, had his head down in the crook of his arm on the desk, sound asleep. It was approaching midnight.

"It says here," L began, in exactly the same way he had the last twelve times, "That children have angels who 'always behold the face of the Father which is in heaven'. I assume that an angel stays with a child all throughout his or her life, even after reaching maturity, since that appears to have been the case with you. But, if your guardian angel is always with you as you claim yours says he has been, but he is also always with 'the Father which is in heaven'…then, since you are a physical being in a physical location on earth, and since something cannot simultaneously be in two different physical locations at once, it must stand to reason that 'heaven' is not a physical location. Would you agree?"

Jubilee was singularly unwilling to share L's interest. "I guess," she muttered, arms crossed over her chest as she slumped low in her swivel chair. "How should I know?"

L glanced up at her sharply. "Because you claim to have _been_ there."

"That doesn't mean I can write a whole textbook about it!"

"Your ambivalence on the matter does you a disservice, Miss Amachi," he said, sounding stern. "Remember, you are technically still under suspicion for lying about your background."

Jubilee threw her arms in the air. "What? All I said was 'I guess.' That's the truth!" Vaguely she wondered if her arm might have gone through Hellenos just now. She couldn't see him at the moment, probably because she was severely cranky both from fatigue and L's pestering, but there seemed to be a faint shimmer in the air beside her. Taking a deep breath to try and calm her temper, she continued, "I couldn't possibly have understood the ins and outs of everything that was happening to me at the time. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before."

L thumbed the side of his mouth and leaned in close to Jubilee's face, inspecting her with intense scrutiny. "Tell me what it was like."

With great effort Jubilee refrained from flinching at his proximity. She had gotten somewhat used to this sort of behavior in the last couple weeks, and knew that it would do her no good to lean away because he'd only follow her like a magnet. "I already did," she said, almost reprovingly, but then sighed and acquiesced, "It was like…like I was nowhere, and everywhere at once. Here, there, nowhere, and everywhere. Like I'd been removed from the world yet could just as easily see any part of it as clearly as if I were there…if I had any desire to. Which," she added with sudden realization, "I didn't at all."

"Hmmmm." L nodded as if in confirmation, then sat back in his own seat. "As one might expect of a nonphysical dimension. Now," he continued without missing a beat, "It says here…" Jubilee resisted the urge to roll her eyes at hearing the phrase repeated yet again, but L didn't pay her any mind as he rapidly and precisely flipped through the book to land on a page which he jabbed with one long, pale finger, "That we fight 'not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.' Some basic research has helped me uncover the fact that 'principalities' and 'powers' may refer to certain high ranks within the demon hierarchy…which, according to your descriptions, the being that you saw accompanying Light may be categorized under. So, does that mean that these darker beings are 'in high places' even while they are on earth, in the same way that angels are 'in heaven' even while they are on earth—that they are, in fact, simultaneously in two dimensions at once? And what does 'high places' refer to? Something higher than the earthly plane but lower than the heavenly one?" Finishing his lengthy speech, he fixed his eyes on Jubilee in expectation.

Jubilee's head spun from all the questions and theorizing, but, weary from a long day, she yawned. "How should I know?" she asked again, for what must have been the thirteenth time by now.

L tapped a knuckle against the open volume resting against his knees. "Well, you've already read this before, haven't you?" he answered, with perfect logic as usual.

That stopped her short. "I—I—well…" she stuttered. _I never finished it,_ was what she couldn't bring herself to admit, but didn't have to because she could tell in L's eyes that he had just deduced as much. Defiance bloomed within her at his look. "Well, what?" she burst out defensively. "You've never read it before either, have you?"

L shrugged. "Perhaps, but I have now."

"Yes, but—" Jubilee suddenly stopped and did a double take so fast she thought she might have given herself whiplash. "What do you mean, you _have now_?"

L continued to turn pages nonchalantly. "I have read it now."

Jubilee felt like she was going to hyperventilate. " _The whole thing?_ "

L seemed perfectly ignorant of her plight. "Yes," he said simply.

Jubilee took a few deep breaths. This couldn't be right. There must have been some kind of misunderstanding. "You mean, you finished the New Testament…right?"

"No." L finally looked up from the book at her in the way a patient teacher might at a dim-witted student. "The Old _and_ the New Testaments."

Jubilee thought her jaw might have dropped to her knees. "You…you mean to say—" she began, stuttering stupidly, "That you read…the _entire Bible_ …in only three days?"

"Yes, Miss Amachi," said L, with drawn out patience, "That is what I have been trying to tell you."

Jubilee sputtered for a moment, feeling like she was going to choke on her own spit. "What—but—how…" She struggled violently before finding her voice again. "Do you not sleep?!" was what burst out of her at last.

"No."

She was speechless for a moment, before declaring with firm resolution, "That's impossible."

"What is, Miss Amachi?" said L, returning to his book and lifting a delicate teacup filled with sugary liquid to his lips. "Not sleeping, or reading the Bible in three days?"

"Both!" she exploded.

"Hmmm," he intoned again in that contemplative way of his. "Interesting…I would have thought that you of all people would have stopped believing anything to be impossible, after what you've been through."

That shut her up.

 _ **He got you pretty good right there,**_ chuckled a voice from above her. _**I like him.**_

She turned to glare up at Hellenos, not caring that L could see. _Why don't you be_ _his_ _guardian angel then?_ she thought sourly.

This just seemed to amuse the angel even more. _**Because he's already got one.**_

 _Good Lord, there are TWO of you?_ she thought, pushing her seat out from the desk to stand up. Aloud, she announced, "I'm going to bed," and made her way to the short flight of stairs leading up to the elevator landing, without giving L a second glance.

 _ **Goodnight,**_ the angel prompted her.

Jubilee grit her teeth but called over her shoulder, "Goodnight!" then proceeded to take the stairs two at a time in a vain attempt to outrun Hellenos, until she reached the top and impatiently jabbed at the elevator buttons. The doors opened and she entered, grumbling. Hellenos was already inside the elevator.

The angel made a show of whistling at the ceiling as the doors closed and they began to go up. It was an impossibly perfect and beautiful sound, but Jubilee was darned if she was going to acknowledge that fact.

At last, the angel spoke. _**Funny, Jonah the prophet tried to run away too.**_ _**And we all know what happened to him.**_

"Is that a threat?" said Jubilee lowly. Her dreams tonight were definitely going to be a nightmarish mixture of being tied up in a room, endlessly questioned by L, and then swallowed by a whale.

 _ **Then again, Elijah the prophet did too,**_ Hellenos went on, ignoring Jubilee. _**I remember not being able to understand why he did it, but I fed him anyway like the Father asked, even after he ran away.**_ Jubilee stubbornly said nothing, but the angel continued, _**I've worked with humans long enough by now, though, to understand that it is common for you to want to run. From God, and from your destiny. But it is a hard thing for us angels to understand.**_

She stared at the floor of the elevator as they rose. "Why's that?" she mumbled.

The angel looked at her as though she were a curious and fascinating thing. _**Well, trying to run away from those two things is like a fish trying to run away from the ocean. Maybe it can, but only after a good amount of swimming through it in the first place, and only with the end result of death.**_ He paused for a moment, as if in thought. _**On the other hand, there's also a fair number of humans who are always trying to**_ _ **find**_ _ **those two things…which is like a fish trying to find the ocean.**_ He held out his hands. _**Both actions are equally absurd. So we find it difficult to understand why you would do it.**_

Jubilee continued to stare at the floor. "I don't think we know why we do it."

The angel held up one long finger. _**Precisely what I realized at last. A fish doesn't have a concept of the ocean that it swims in.**_

Jubilee finally looked up at the angel, annoyance decorating her features. "So am I a fish or a woman?" she asked sardonically.

The angel shrugged. _**Is the Lord a lion or a lamb?**_

At this the elevator doors opened, and Jubilee stepped out. Walking down the hall toward her room, she questioned the angel quietly, "So you were the angel that fed Elijah in the wilderness?"

 _ **The very same,**_ said he, sounding neither proud of the fact nor embarrassed.

"Huh," said Jubilee, trying not to sound too impressed. "I've read about you. You're famous."

 _ **Not really,**_ said the angel. _**You humans are the major supporting cast in that book. We angels are more, shall we say…the behind the scenes crew? But we step in to fill roles as needed.**_

"I see," murmured Jubilee, and was about to ask something else when a door in the hall opened. Watari stepped out, wearing a comfortable looking pair of flannel pajamas.

"Good evening, Miss Julie," he greeted.

"Oh!" said Jubilee, surprised by his unexpected appearance. "Hi. I'm so sorry, did I wake you? I didn't mean to—"

Watari waved away her apologies. "No, no, not at all," he chuckled. "I was already awake."

She ogled him. "But it's past midnight! Isn't it—er, that is, I mean…"

"Past my bedtime?" The old man's eyes twinkled. "Oh, I'd say I'm too old for bedtimes. Besides, I must keep an eye on Ryuzaki, make sure he stays out of trouble. Would you like to come in for a cup of chamomile tea? It will help unwind your nerves before bed." He stepped back and motioned inside the door, where Jubilee could see a security room decorated with monitors. The center monitor featured L and Light in the main room; the former still crouched in front of his computer screen, and the latter still sound asleep. The sound of Light's soft snoring played through the speakers.

So Watari had heard everything between her and L, hadn't he? Possibly even her seemingly talking to herself in the elevator.

Jubilee sighed heavily, but found to her surprise that she wasn't too bothered by this old man's observations of her. Something about him made her feel safe and unjudged, like she had with the Andrews.

"Alright," she acquiesced, stepping into the room with him. Hellenos silently glided in beside her and took up position in a corner of the small room. "I suppose I have too much to think about to fall asleep anyway," she added.

"It is the time and season for sleepless nights, what with this Kira business," agreed Watari, pulling out a chair for Jubilee and pouring a cup of hot tea for her. "Though I suppose Ryuzaki has always had a penchant for sleeplessness." He chuckled as he handed the cup and saucer over to Jubilee. She took them gratefully. "I suppose I've caught on to his habits over the years," the old man continued. "That and I like for him to know that he is not awake alone." He shook a finger upwards, as if at the nighttime sky. "Evening is a lonely time to be awake, while the rest of the world sleeps."

Jubilee sipped her tea and glanced at L's crouched figure onscreen. Beside him Light, still sprawled on the desk, did not stir. Quirking an eyebrow, Jubilee asked, "So why doesn't he just sleep, then?"

"Because there is always another case to solve," answered Watari. "Always another criminal to track down and put safely behind bars." The old man's eyes traveled to where Jubilee was looking at the monitors, and then he almost looked sad. "Ryuzaki will not rest until the world can also be at rest."

Jubilee was taken aback. "Do—do you mean until there is no more crime? But…that's impossible." Inwardly she cringed at hearing herself bandy about the shameful i-word yet again, but she plunged on. "There will always be something. He can't possibly hope to solve all the crime in the world, can he?"

Watari sighed. "He knows. The boy has chosen an impossible burden for himself." At Jubilee's look, Watari laughed. "Do not be so alarmed, Miss Julie…one does sometimes catch Ryuzaki sleeping, but it is as rare as catching a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis. He has conditioned both his body and his mind to the task at hand."

"So he is human then," she quipped. "Sort of," she added under her breath.

Watari obviously heard her, but graciously made no reply to her comment. Instead he asked, "More tea?" and generously refilled her cup.

Jubilee accepted his kindness gratefully. The man was obviously close to Ryuzaki; what was she thinking, thoughtlessly throwing out insults about the boy? Meekly she offered, "His—ah—fortitude, is impressive at least," and sipped her tea.

Watari gave her a sidelong glance and a knowing smile. "He is understandably difficult to get along with. Don't worry my dear."

Jubilee's cheeks heated. Was she so obvious? "I'm sorry," she blurted out, suddenly embarrassed. "I don't mean to—to be unfair to him. I'm still trying to get over resenting him for _arresting_ me for doing _nothing_ wrong, which…which colors my opinion of him, and I know it. And I know I should know better. You'd think, that after everything I claim to have been through, that I'd be past holding grudges, but…" She was aware that she was babbling, but now that she'd started venting she couldn't stop. "But, the moment I think I'm starting to get past it, he up and does something else annoying! And it's not his fault, but it just…it just…" She made a strangling motion with her hands. "I mean, who reads the Bible in three days?! Who _does_ that? As if I didn't already feel like enough of a sorry excuse for a…for a…" _A what?_ she thought to herself. _A prophet? A 'chosen one' of God…? What am I?_

"A believer?" came Watari's soft voice.

Jubilee set her teacup down on the table in front of her and put her face in her hands. "I am a sorry excuse of a believer," she muttered into her fingertips, almost despairingly. "I may just be the most unbelieving person in the whole world, even after everything I've seen." Not removing her hands from her face, she continued, "And even after narrowly escaping judgment myself, I can't seem to stop judging others. He—" She gestured vaguely with one hand towards the monitors, "Understands the things that I should understand, better than I do…and part of me hates him for it." Parting her fingers a bit, she peered through them at the diminutive figure of the detective sitting onscreen. "And knowing that all he's trying to do is just save the world…makes me hate myself for hating him."

She let her hands fall forlornly to her sides. There. She'd said it. The words were all out before she could have bitten them back. Watari, who was clearly a father figure to L, would now know just how much she held against the boy he considered a son. She'd gone and blown yet another potential friendship. The thought made her unable to meet the old man's eyes.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Watari gazing down at her with compassionate eyes.

"My dear," he said, "You blame yourself far too much. Don't you know," he went on, a twinkle in his eye, "That blame is the devil's game?"

Jubilee stared back at him. _You don't have to feel guilty anymore,_ the memory of Pastor Andrews' voice whispered through her mind. And then another voice, her father's, followed it: _You didn't do anything wrong, Jubilee._

Jubilee's eyes suddenly felt moist as she remembered the sound of one final voice.

 _ **Your sins are forgiven, my daughter.**_

She glanced over at the angel in the corner. He was glowing brightly, and smiling gently at her. She blinked hard and sniffed, wiping at her eyes. It sometimes blew her mind just how patient this inter-dimensional being was with her. It blew her mind even more that there existed human beings in this world who could be just as patient.

She turned back to Watari. It didn't surprise her to see that he glowed nearly as brightly as the angel did.

"I for one," he was saying, "Have much to thank you for. I've been trying to get that boy to open that book his whole life." He chuckled, and gazed at the L onscreen fondly. "But it wasn't until you came along that he finally did."

Jubilee followed his gaze. The detective's wide, owlish eyes seemed to droop for a second, but were wide open again so fast that she could have imagined it. His gaze didn't waver from his work.

Jubilee took a deep breath.

"Tell me more," she said at last. "About L."

* * *

 _*The story of Elijah can be found in the Book of 1 Kings, and the specific account of Elijah being fed by an angel in the wilderness is found in 1 Kings 19. The "lion or lamb" phrase can be referenced to Revelation 5:5-6 as well as John 1:29. And the story of Jonah can be found in...well, Jonah._

 **A/N: Well, it's finally happened. I've now reached the point where, *gulp*, I am caught up to the chapters I wrote in advance. I will now be writing and posting as I go. So, once again, thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, because the feedback has been a wonderful motivating factor in posting timely updates. My goal is still to be able to update every 1-2 weeks.**

 **Fun fact...the "Am I a fish or a woman?" line came from a vivid dream that I had, in which I was having a conversation with Jesus. He shot back with the "Am I a lion or a lamb?" line. Clever guy.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was hard for Jubilee to look L in the eyes during work the next day.

L, the man who, as it turned out, was an orphan just like her.

 _What are you, a trust fund baby?_ The cruel words ran through her mind over and over again. And, even worse, _Did your mother never teach you manners?_

The man never had a mother. Never even got to meet her.

Jubilee closed her eyes as shame swept over her once again. No wonder he hadn't answered her. What _was_ a wonder though, was how graciously he had ignored her provocations.

 _I am such a jerk._

"Tiramisu, my dear?" offered Watari's kind voice from beside her.

She opened her eyes to find a plate of sweet dessert being held out to her. One of L's favorites, she had learned from one of the old man's anecdotes last night.

"Thank you," she said quietly, taking the plate. Then, under her breath, she muttered, "Give some extra to Ryuzaki for me, would you?"

The old man smiled broadly and nodded in acquiescence before walking away, pushing his cart of refreshments ahead of him.

Jubilee ate a spoonful of the treat before setting it down on the desk and turning back to her computer, to watch yet another security footage video. The image of various humans, angels and demons meandering about, none of whom she recognized, filled the screen. She fast-forwarded through the video, feeling almost bored. Taking another bite from her plate, she briefly wondered just how censored her vision was these days…for while she seemed to be able to see relatively clearly when it came to video footage, she didn't always see so clearly in her immediate environment. Perhaps Dad knew that there was only so much she could handle without becoming overwhelmed.

The sweetness of the cake penetrated her senses for a moment, along with a dim, faint voice: _Jubilee…Jubilee…_

She snapped to attention and cast her gaze around, willing herself to still her mind. Slowly but surely Hellenos' form came into view beside her. He cocked his head at her and sighed.

 _ **Can you hear me now?**_ he said, mimicking the old cell phone commercials.

 _Yes,_ she thought. _Sorry._

 _ **Are you?**_

 _Yes!_ she thought. _I think all I'm ever feeling these days is sorry._

 _ **That's the problem,**_ he tsked. _**Conviction is one thing…but how long will you keep guilt-tripping yourself, Jubilee? You were given new eyes to see so that you could be set free.**_

"I feel terrible," she murmured under her breath. "About all the things I've said to him." _And all the things I've thought about him._ Things like how he was strange, a freak, and repulsive-looking. "I can't help but feel sorry."

 _ **Why don't you tell**_ _ **him**_ _ **that?**_

She was silent.

The angel sighed once more. _**Jubilee—**_

 _Because maybe I'm a coward,_ she admitted at last in her mind. _And maybe I can't get over my own pride, no matter how hard I try._ She glanced over at the detective who was sitting, crouched as usual, in his chair. _He probably doesn't even remember all the things I said._

 _ **But**_ _ **you**_ _ **do.**_ The angel looked at her pointedly. _**The point isn't to do this just for**_ _ **him**_ _ **, it's also to do this for**_ _ **you.**_

Jubilee stubbornly crossed her arms. Internally, however, her heartbeat escalated rapidly at even the thought of having to talk to L and seek out some kind of imaginary reconciliation. He'd probably just give her that blank, unintentionally semi-condescending stare and agree with her, even if he had no idea what she was talking about. And for some reason, the idea of that just made her completely balk. She was already feeling too much self-condemnation to be able to handle the thought of being looked at like that one more time. It was much more comfortable to simply avoid the whole situation and let it fade into obscurity with time—hopefully.

"I thought the point was to do things for others, not for ourselves,"she said stoutly in a low voice. Even as she said it she was aware of how backwards her argument was, and she knew that Hellenos knew it.

He heaved another heavy sigh and glided away.

Jubilee was left alone with her thoughts. Thoughts of how, in all of Watari's stories about L, the detective was always the one doing things for others instead of for himself.

And how so very different that was from her.

* * *

 _The little boy was six years old, but his thick black hair suggested the growth of a teenager's, jutting out wildly in all directions. Yet the large armchair that he sat in completely dwarfed him, as did the big book between his hands that he was holding up to his face. His stature was still as small as the day Watari had found him, over two years ago. But these were the days long before the old man had taken on the alias of Watari. These days, he was still known as Quillish Wammy._

 _"My boy," said Wammy. "Much as I take delight in your appreciation of the house library, I must insist that you join the other children for morning chapel. Structure and solidarity are important aspects of the program here at Wammy House; and what will the other children think if one of you is not with the rest? One seed of dissent could eventually sow chaos."_

 _"Wise words, Mr. Wammy," said the boy, his mature speech at odds with his small voice. "But I think that, in the interest of solidarity, I am of better service separated from the rest of the children. You will find that they will altogether determine my absence to be quite agreeable."_

 _Quillish sighed. All of the children at Wammy's Home for Gifted Children were extraordinarily intelligent, but this boy was several leagues ahead of the rest—even though he was the youngest and newest addition. This fact was not lost on the other inhabitants of the orphanage, who quickly found reasons to distance themselves from the strange new child._

 _"That is not entirely true," said Quillish. "I do believe that Adam would—I say, child." He paused, holding up his spectacles to observe the huge tome that the boy had not so much as removed his nose from during the entire conversation. "What_ _are_ _you reading?"_

 _"Criminal Law and Justice, Volume IX," answered the boy without missing a beat._

 _"And do you enjoy it?"_

 _"I find it rather fascinating."_

 _The man blinked. This little boy never ceased to surprise him._

 _"Well, be that as it may," he continued, trying to get back to the matter at hand, "I do believe that Adam would highly appreciate your being there, as he is only a little bit older than you…and he hasn't had much luck making many friends yet, either."_

 _The little boy's nose didn't move from its place in the book, but his wide, gray eyes rose to rest upon Quillish. "Are you worried that Adam will feel like the outcast of the group, Mr. Wammy?"_

 _"The smartest ones usually are," Quillish confessed._

 _"Hmm," said the little boy thoughtfully. "I was under the impression that all the children here were categorized as 'smart.'"_

 _"They most certainly are," affirmed Quillish, "But that, unfortunately, does not succeed in removing prejudice from among them. Not completely at least."_

 _And at this he looked sad. He had established the Wammy House in hopes of giving outcast children an escape from the prejudices of a world that did not and could not understand them; but it seemed that nowhere could one find escape from the eventual jealousies and rivalries that would spring up between human beings. Wammy had the foreboding sense that he would be forever fated to watch his beloved children fight between themselves—sometimes secretly and sometimes outright—for the position of being best. He sometimes wondered if this was how God felt._

 _The big gray eyes took in the old man's low countenance. "Well," said the little boy suddenly, closing his book, "My experiences thus far have led me to deduce that my lot in life is not going to be one of making friends. However," He set the book to the side and slid out of the chair onto his feet, "It most likely will be one of being an outcast. I suppose I can take that burden off of Adam's shoulders."_

 _With that being said, he took short but swift strides towards the door of the library as quickly as his little legs would take him. Wammy gazed after him wonderingly before following._

 _"I didn't know you thought so highly of young Adam," he remarked as they made their way down the hall together to chapel._

 _"I don't," replied the little boy with honesty and not malice. "It's you, Mr. Wammy, whom I think highly of."_

 _..._

Jubilee had been mostly silent as Watari shared one fond recollection of L after another, still getting over the initial shock of learning that the young man had grown up in an orphanage. _Which orphanage?_ she wondered. _Where?_ Watari had been pointedly vague regarding details, probably out of the necessity of being undercover. Still, her curiosity over what it was like to grow up in such a place made her intrigued—and ashamed. True, L seemed to have been well taken care of, but he had still spent his childhood in an institution, without ever having the sense of a real family. He had been much worse off than her.

Shoving the guilt of that revelation to the side for a moment, she had commented to Watari, "So he basically indirectly declared himself to be the smartest." Then she had clapped a hand over her mouth, mortified at letting yet another jab slip out.

The old man had laughed, unoffended. "Keenly observed, my dear," he said with a chuckle. "I think you'd do Ryuzaki proud. You are right, of course…but, then again," He spread his hands in a show of apology, "He was and he is."

"All the worse," Jubilee groaned. "Is there anyone that he doesn't think of as beneath himself? Besides you, of course."

"Ah, my dear," said Watari, "You misunderstand. Ryuzaki holds no illusions of himself being highly ranked in the areas of emotional intelligence, or social adeptness; in short, all the qualities that are necessary for functioning as a normal member of society. He simply acknowledges the truth of his own strengths…not very gracefully, most of the time, but that is a weakness in himself which he is well aware of. He is fully aware, for example, that you far exceed him in those areas."

"Me?" Jubilee flushed. "What do you mean?" Was he calling her socially adept? Memories of navigating Chicago's nightlife scene and charming the pants off of elite members of society—sometimes literally—echoed through her mind. She shoved them away. She wasn't socially adept. She had only been faking it to survive.

Watari smiled. "That is something I cannot answer for you, Miss Julie. You don't give yourself nearly enough credit, and it is high time that you learn for yourself how to do so."

Hellenos made a show of clapping from the corner. Jubilee gave him a look.

"But to answer your question, Miss Julie," the old man continued on, "There was in fact another gentleman at the orphanage that Ryuzaki rather looked up to…"

 _..._

 _"The boy is immoveable, Roger," Quillish was complaining to his friend. "He's wanting leave Wammy House and start working Interpol cases…and he's only eight years old!"_

 _"An eight-year-old who helped prevent the start of World War III," pointed out Roger Ruvie, the thin, bespectacled man sitting behind the desk in their joint office._

 _"Yes, yes," conceded Quillish, waving a hand dismissively. "We've already all been in awe of that feat and sung his praises over and over until we were all blue in the face…but Roger, he's still a child. He must be given the chance to_ _be_ _a child, before that time is robbed from him completely."_

 _Roger shrugged. "Most of the children here are more grown up than adults."_

 _"Because they_ _had_ _to be, to survive in a world that didn't understand them!" argued Quillish. "That is the whole purpose of Wammy House, Roger…to give them a place where they can finally be amongst likeminded peers. Where they can find acceptance."_

 _The other man sighed. "You're right, old friend, that they are children. And the frustrating thing about children is that you can't force them to feel like they belong. Sometimes they must leave home to find what they are looking for."_

 _Quillish looked torn. "But at eight?"_

 _"Well." Roger turned in his chair to file through a stack of papers on his desk. "He'd need a guardian, of course."_

 _There was a long beat._

 _"Surely," began Quillish, "You're not suggesting that you will—"_

 _"I know, I know," said Roger. "I've always said that I hate children. Would rather do the bookwork. But, perhaps it is because I was once just like the children who are here. You've undertaken a noble pursuit, Wammy my friend. Perhaps, just like our charges, we must continually grow into something new."_

 _Quillish looked at his friend uncertainly. "You're saying you want to leave?"_

 _"What? Heavens no!" Roger looked aghast. "Who would look after the children while you are gone?"_

 _Now Quillish was dreadfully confused. "While_ _I_ _am gone? You mean—"_

 _"Surely you didn't think I was going to suggest separating you from that boy. One look at you when you are with him and even a blind man can tell that he is your favorite._ _You're_ _the one who must go with him."_

 _Quillish was taken aback. "Favorite? Nonsense! You know my philosophy on that, Roger…"_

 _"Yes, yes," said Roger patiently. "All the children are equally precious and gifted in their various ways. Quillish." He eyed his friend seriously. "I am not questioning the worth of the other children. But this one—this child—he could change the world. He already has. And you know it."_

 _Quillish looked almost pleading. "Couldn't he do that_ _after_ _he grows up? The other children at least have that luxury."_

 _Roger looked at his friend and sighed. "You are the one in charge here, Quillish."_

 _"I am biased." Quillish massaged his temples. "You are right, Roger. I cannot objectively make a decision that is in his best interest. I need your help. You must speak to him."_

 _Roger gazed at the other man a moment longer, then nodded. Quillish went to the door and opened it, ushering in the person standing on the other side._

 _A young L entered the room. He was of a medium height for his age now, but still lanky, and still with that head of wild hair. His eyes had grown bigger and darker, and faint shadows had started to accrue beneath them._

 _"L, my boy," began Roger. "I understand you want to start working as a detective."_

 _The boy didn't speak, but eventually nodded._

 _"You understand that you are exceedingly younger than is typical for such a task, don't you?"_

 _Another nod._

 _"But Wammy and I recognize that your gifts exceed the typical," continued Roger. "However, we would be loath to let you make a rash or premature decision. There are important experiences to be gained from the age you are at right now. Thus, you may begin this work when you reach the age of ten, if you still desire to do so when the time comes."_

 _Wammy closed his eyes._ _Ten?_ _But he said nothing._

 _"Thank you, sir," said the young boy quietly._

 _"And, when the time comes," Roger went on, "If you should leave to pursue this work, I hope that you will come back to Wammy House in between investigations. It is good to have a home base."_

 _"Yes, sir," said L._

 _The older gentleman lifted his hand in a gesture that indicated L was dismissed. The boy began to make his way back to the door._

 _"Oh and L?" Roger called before he had reached it._

 _The boy turned._

 _"You will be needing a…an assistant." The hint of a smile touched his lips then. "Wammy will go with you, when you leave."_

 _L turned to look at Wammy. The stiffness in his shoulders seemed to lessen just a bit, and his eyes seemed to lose some of their darkness._

 _"Thank you, sir," he said, and left._

 _..._

"Ten?" interrupted Jubilee, dumbstruck. "Ten?!"

"Yes indeed," affirmed Watari.

Jubilee shook her head in bewilderment. "I was still playing with Barbie dolls when I was ten."

Watari's eyes took on a wistful look. "If only the boy could have experienced half so idyllic a childhood. Alas, such is not the destiny for genii, I suppose."

"Apparently not," grumbled Jubilee. "Are you saying he never played with toys? Like, ever?"

"I'm not sure he ever even learned how to play, until he was fifteen."

"Oh? And what happened at fifteen?" asked Jubilee warily.

"He became the tennis champion of the national Junior Cup."

" _What?_ " Jubilee covered her eyes with one hand and held up the other. "No, stop, I can't take it anymore. Is there anything he _can't_ do?"

Watari smiled. "You'd be surprised, my dear."

"Try me."

"Well…"

...

 _Wammy woke up to the smell of burning in their hotel room. It was not yet strong enough to set off the fire alarm, but it sent panic flying through his mind nonetheless. He flung himself out of bed and burst into the main suite._

 _"L!" he called, frantic. "Up at once! Are you—"_

 _He stopped short at the sight of the slouched teenager standing in the kitchenette, glaring at a frying pan on the stove in which lay several unidentifiable black crisps. Next to the pan, on the counter, lay a plate heaped with an unappetizing stack of yellow and white goo._

 _"I am always up, Quillish," he answered the middle-aged man without turning around._

 _Wammy stared for a moment, baffled at the scene, and waited for some kind of explanation. When none came, he ventured, "What is it you are doing, my boy?"_

 _"Nothing very successfully," replied the boy with a scowl. "But I_ _was_ _trying to make breakfast."_

 _"L, my boy, you know perfectly well that I would have—"_

 _"I know, Quillish. You always do the cooking and all the menial tasks. I thought I would at least make breakfast for once."_

 _Wammy stopped short at that, feeling his heart soften towards the boy whom he had come to see as a son. Perhaps it was spoiling the sixteen-year-old to always make his meals for him, but L was no ordinary teenager; he worked long days when most boys his age were either playing ball or out on dates, and he went many nights without sleeping while he worked tirelessly on one case after the next. On top of that L was a solitary worker, accepting some assistance from the older man but never much input. The way Wammy saw it, the boy was doing far more work than he was. The least he could do was see to his basic needs._

 _He was about to say as much, but L had gone on, railing against the frying pan almost accusatorily._

 _"How does one crisp bacon without burning it? Or fry an egg correctly? Yours are always perfect, Quillish, I don't understand. The cookbook I read didn't say anything about this."_

 _"Cookbook?" Once again Wammy was baffled. "You've read a cookbook?"_

 _"Yes, when I was nine. There's one in the library back at Wammy House."_

 _"Well, my boy, if it was that long ago you can't possibly expect to—"_

 _"I've memorized it."_

 _"…Ah."_

 _L turned and dumped the contents of the frying pan into the trashcan. "I don't understand what it is I'm missing. I would have thought that having a mental repertoire of recipes, as well as a thorough understanding of thermodynamics and chemistry, should have given me the basic skills required to make a simple meal. I know the exact quantity of ingredients and heat conditions that go into making a chicken consommé, for heaven's sake."_

 _"Well," said Wammy, going to join his protégé in the kitchenette, "Some things must be experienced in order to be fully grasped. You can't expect to understand what love is like simply from reading about it in a book, now can you?"_

 _At this the boy was silent for a long moment. Wammy pulled out clean pans and set them on the stove, then retrieved another carton of eggs along with milk from the refrigerator, and flour and sugar from a cupboard._

 _At last L spoke, his head down and his shaggy hair hiding his eyes. "I don't think it is my lot in life to ever understand what that is like, Quillish."_

 _The older man felt a pang in his heart at the boy's grim tone. "Nonsense, boy. Love isn't what you think it is. It isn't what they show in books and movies. Look here." Quickly whisking together some eggs and milk in a bowl, he indicated the sugar with a nod of his head. "Add a cup of that into this bowl," he instructed. L wordlessly obeyed. Wammy continued, "You love sweets, don't you?" Skillfully he began sifting flour, salt and baking powder into the mixture. "And cake. Yes?"_

 _"I suppose," murmured the boy._

 _"And you love solving cases. Do you not?"_

 _The boy chewed silently on his thumb for a moment in thought. "Those are just things that I like to a great degree, Quillish," he said at last. "Like a child who enjoys candy and riddles. I still just partake in the things that I liked as a child. I don't do things out of love… the way you do, with the children at Wammy House."_

 _Quillish stopped in his mixing. "How do you know that about me, my boy?" he asked, turning to the pale youth._

 _L looked back at him with somber gray eyes. "As you said, Quillish…I can read people all I want—observe their mannerisms, discern what goes on in their minds—but it doesn't mean that I ever truly understand them."_

 _Quillish turned back to the stove and turned it on, blinking away the sting in his eyes. His heart went out to his young charge. When he spoke again, however, he kept his voice steady. "Candy and riddles may be a child's version of love, L, but as is always the case with children, those things can grow into something greater. One learns to love in small ways at first, and then it becomes bigger and bigger, if you will let it. The things that you 'like' are just a shadow of what it is like to love. One day you will understand."_

 _"With all due respect, Quillish, I know how my own mind works," said the boy, still not looking up. "There are literally a million things I understand, that no one else in the world does. But there are things that everyone else in the world understands, that I never will." He finally raised his head, staring ahead at nothing in particular. "I will probably die before I ever grasp what it is that you are speaking of."_

 _The statement felt like a dark omen, but Wammy shook off the ominous feeling. "Such cynicism, child," he said lightly. Pouring some of the batter onto the now sizzling pan, he set the bowl down and turned to face L, putting a hand on his shoulder. "My boy. Listen to me. Love is simply seeing and believing the best in something or someone, even when others don't. Just like you do with the things that you like. Just like I do, with you."_

 _The pale boy was silent for a long moment. Then, still not looking at Wammy, he said quietly, "Thank you, Quillish."_

 _Quillish nodded and turned back to the stove. "Now come, my boy…I think it is high time that you learned how to flip pancakes."_

...

Jubilee sniffed. She was not crying. Definitely not.

"That doesn't count," she told Watari, trying to sound accusing but failing miserably. "You taught him how to cook after that, so now he knows how to do that, too."

"Oh, I wouldn't say he can cook," said the old man with mirth in his eyes. "Merely that I am slightly more confident in his ability to conjure up edible fare for himself when I must pass from this earth. But," he added before Jubilee could protest such a notion, "Cooking wasn't what I was talking about, my dear. It was love."

"That's silly though," protested Jubilee. "He has you. You love him. What else is there to understand?"

Watari appraised her for a moment with a thoughtful look. Then he said, "The scriptures say that God is love, do they not?"

Jubilee suddenly felt uncomfortable. "I guess. I haven't read all of the scriptures."

The old man's lips broadened into a smile. "And yet you have still seen Him face to face. What else is there to understand…but that you are greatly loved?"

Jubilee was tongue tied, unable to think of an answer. Luckily the question seemed to be rhetorical, for Watari went on, "Even after all that you think you've done, that is still the case."

Jubilee's mouth went dry. "You don't know what I've done," she replied.

Watari smiled again. "I don't need to."

Jubilee didn't know what to say. She attributed this partially to the awkwardness of the topic, and partially to the late hour. Perhaps she was getting sleepy. She wondered how to excuse herself without making things even more awkward.

"I, um—" she began.

"You should be getting to bed now, my dear," said Watari.

"Yes," agreed Jubilee, feeling relieved. "Another long day tomorrow."

She stood. Hellenos glided to her side as she headed for the door. But she stopped there, her hand resting on the knob.

"Um, Watari?"

"Yes, my dear?"

She closed her eyes. "I know that everything you said is true. I—I've seen it. I've felt it. I can't deny it. It's just…it's just that, after all that…after getting a second chance, yet still constantly messing up all the time…I don't feel like I deserve it all. But," And here she opened her eyes to glance at Hellenos, "I'm working on it." With that, she left.

That night, exhausted, she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow; and her dreams were of bright angels and resonant church bells, and a little boy with wild black hair and big, gray eyes.

* * *

"Miss Amachi…"

Jubilee's eyes snapped open and she whipped her head back up from its drooped position. "Huh? What?"

L's large gray eyes peered into her own. He had rolled his swivel chair over next to hers, his handcuffed hand hanging outstretched behind him. "Miss Amachi, were you sleeping on the job?"

"Umm…" said Jubilee, desperately trying to act like she was fully awake. "I was just…resting my eyes. Boss," she added, with some mustered reverence.

L measured her for a moment. "You may go and rest in your quarters."

"What?" Jubilee felt more awake now. "Are you dismissing me? Is this like timeout, or something?"

"No, Miss Amachi. You are not being punished." L's eyes bored into hers in with their usual intensity, but his voice was matter of fact. "I am simply aware that I kept you up late last night. I forget sometimes that others are not as used to late hours as I am. For that I apologize."

Jubilee looked into his eyes and wondered how much of this gesture was done by the man who manipulated people and situations in order to benefit the cases he worked on; and how much of it was the little boy who went out of his comfort zone to make others happy.

 _You don't give yourself enough credit,_ Watari had said. Maybe she needed to learn to give others credit, too.

"That's okay," she said softly. Then, unnerved by the unexpected tenderness of the moment, she stammered, "I'll just—um—go take a short nap, then."

L nodded. She stood up and turned to go, then on second thought turned back and pushed her unfinished plate over to the detective.

"Here," she said. "You can have the rest of this."

Somewhere in the depths of those large, dark eyes, there lit up a small spark of delight. But L kept his voice even as he took the plate. "Thank you."

Jubilee couldn't help a small smile. "Yep."

 _That's his 'candy and riddles' look,_ she thought to herself, laughing a bit as she made her way upstairs to the elevator.

 _One learns to love in small ways at first, and then it becomes bigger and bigger, if you will let it._

The memory of Watari's words drifted into her mind, subtly at first, before sharpening into something louder and she realized that it was Hellenos who had spoken. She glanced up at the angel who stood beside her in the elevator as they went up.

"Why are you repeating to me what Watari said?" she asked.

Hellenos gave her a look like she was just slightly daft, but said nothing.

Jubilee got a foreboding and fluttery, but not altogether unpleasant, feeling; which she still, nevertheless, did not like. So, like with all such feelings, she pushed it down deep and forced herself to forget it.

* * *

 **A/N: Fun fact for those who don't know...L's role in the prevention of World War III is mentioned in the Death Note novel, _L: Change the WorLd._**

 **Adam is my invention, but may or may not be A if you want him to be.**

 **P.S. Gave you the recipe for pancakes. Sort of. You're welcome.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

There was a time when Jubilee heard more clearly; when every flutter of the heart or insight of the mind was clearly discerned as the voice of God. Back then, every hunch that she felt was not just a feeling, but intuition; and every image that appeared in her mind's eye was not just a fanciful daydream, but a reality that was yet unseen by natural eyes.

There was never a time that she saw or heard more clearly than when she was surrounded by children.

Wakahisa Children's Home was, essentially, a modern and politically correct way of saying orphanage. Jubilee had never thought that she would be one for children, having babysat a few times as a teenager and found the experience unpleasant. But Wakahisa had been the only volunteer organization willing to take her on and lodge her, without too much preamble, paperwork, or uncomfortable questions. Which, if she was honest, struck her as slightly irresponsible for an institution that dealt with children, but who was she to complain? It was either this or being a homeless stranger in a strange land. And, though it may not have looked so good on Wakahisa's part, it was extraordinarily convenient for her that they had been looking for a full-time volunteer for months and were starting to get desperate, right when she had come along.

Perhaps it was because Wakahisa was a small, unmemorable and unnoticeable sort of place, sequestered on the outer edges of Tokyo and virtually incomparable to the several other mega-charities headquartered in the city. Luckily, they continued to receive funds from overseas ministries and benefactors, to whom the orphanage was as distant in mind as it was in physical locality. Thanks to the amount of people around the world who found satisfaction in meeting their monthly kindness quota via a remote financial donation, Wakahisa managed to stay standing. Getting enough workers to meet the needs of the increasing number of children, however, was another matter.

For Wakahisa was the place where children that nobody wanted went—the slums of the orphanage community. The problem kids, the disabled, the mentally challenged, and the like were all dumped there. From there, they rarely left; being always passed over by prospective adoptive parents from foreign countries, whose dreams of having an adorable Asian baby were threatened by the less than perfect. Most recently there had been an increase of children being dumped onto Wakahisa whose parents had been incarcerated criminals at some point in life. That kind of history certainly didn't look good on paper. So all the blood, sweat and tears that went into caring for the children at Wakahisa went without reprieve or report; for Wakahisa had no public relations or marketing team like some charities did. There was no glory in volunteering at a place like Wakahisa.

It was the perfect place for Jubilee to hide.

"I'm not good with kids," she muttered under her breath to the angel on her first day. They were standing together in the small dining hall, awaiting the arrival of the children who would be awakening shortly. A couple other volunteers milled about, preparing food and straightening tables and chairs. Christine, the other American volunteer there who had debriefed her on everything, flashed her a quick and encouraging smile from across the room. Jubilee smiled back half-heartedly.

 _ **Is that so?**_ said the angel, as if something about that were funny. _**We shall see about that.**_

Before Jubilee could ask what he meant, the doors burst open and children streamed into the hall. Jubilee's senses were suddenly assaulted by a series of bright colors and sensations that, while not altogether unpleasant, almost knocked her off her feet with their energy.

"What in the—" she began to murmur, when she felt the angel step up close behind her and lay a hand over her head. Her senses stabilized for a moment, and the otherworldly colors, sounds and smells became bearable. She gazed steadily at the children coming into the room to line up and get their food.

About a fifth of them had stopped to stare at her, their eyes big. They nudged and prodded each other, whispering and pointing. Jubilee shifted her feet uncomfortably. What were they looking at? Didn't they get new volunteers all the time?

One of them, a little girl who looked no older than five, was stepping out of the crowd of children to approach her. She stopped at Jubilee's feet and stared up at her with wide, wondering eyes. Then her little face broke out into a grin.

"Hi," she said, addressing Jubilee in Japanese.

"Um," said Jubilee. This was weird. "Hi."

"What's your name?"

"Jub—" Jubilee stopped herself. "Julie. I'm Miss Julie."

"I'm Meirin. I'm four."

"Nice to meet you, Meirin."

Meirin took a moment to cock her head at Jubilee, taking her in. "Miss Julie," she began, "Are you an angel?"

 _What?_ Jubilee was at a loss for words. "I—I—" she stuttered. Was this mockery? A common greeting in Japan? Behind her, though she couldn't see him, she sensed the angel laughing quietly.

"No," she said, managing to compose herself at last. "Why?"

"Because you glow like one, Miss Julie."

Jubilee looked down at herself. There was indeed a soft glow, thanks to the angel's close proximity behind her. His light enveloped her entire body and radiated out from the both of them. But this should have been visible to no one else's eyes but hers.

Jubilee glanced discreetly in the direction of the other adult volunteers, before murmuring, "You can see it?"

"Why wouldn't I? We all saw it," said Meirin, indicating the small group of children behind her with a stubby finger. Then she put her hands on her hips. "If you're not really an angel, then why do you glow like that? You _are_ one, aren't you? I'm telling."

She turned and was about to run off but Jubilee grabbed her.

"No!" said Jubilee. "That is—I, well…" She sighed and knelt down to be eye level with the little girl. Why did kids have to be such brats?

To Meirin, she said quietly, "Can you keep a secret?"

Meirin's eyes lit up and she nodded her head furiously, in a surefire sign that she couldn't and wouldn't. "I'm the best at secrets," she said. Above her head, a thick, black line appeared and snapped in two.

"You're lying," said Jubilee.

Meirin's expression turned into a terrible pout. "Am not!" she said. "How do you know?"

"I just know. Now, I can't tell you until you promise to keep it a secret, and truly mean it."

Meirin's lips settled into a line of displeasure, but she slowly nodded. This time, the line above her head stayed intact.

"Alright," said Jubilee, and leaned forward to whisper in the little girl's ear. "I'm not an angel. But there is an angel with me." She leaned back.

"Oh," said the little girl thoughtfully. She tilted her head in a moment of contemplation, before nodding. "Sometimes the other grown-ups look like they're glowing too. Especially Miss Christine. But just kind of sort of, and not all the time. Not like the way you do." She regarded Jubilee with large, inquisitive eyes. "Why?"

"…I don't know."

"Do they have angels with them too?"

"Probably." Jubilee shrugged. Then, remembering something the angel had said to her before, she added, "I think everyone has an angel with them."

"Then why don't I see everyone glowing all the time?"

"I don't know," Jubilee said again. Why did kids have to ask so many questions?

"Are you and your angel here to take care of us, Miss Julie?"

Jubilee looked at the little girl. Something in her vision shifted and she suddenly saw past the skin, the hair, and the eyes. She saw something inside the girl's core, small but writhing and growing slowly.

She started with the realization of a sudden knowledge that she didn't know how she knew. Meirin had terminal leukemia.

Her heart flooded abruptly with an insurmountable compassion that went beyond her own and, inexplicably, confusingly, she felt like she would cry. In that moment, with tears at the threshold of her vision, the world suddenly brimmed over with an unimaginable, otherworldly clarity.

She looked around her and truly saw everyone for the first time. The little boy who had lost his leg in a farming accident, and then was abandoned in the countryside because he'd become a burden that his parents could no longer afford to feed. The infant in one volunteer's arms who had been left on Wakahisa's doorstep not only because she was female, but also because, even worse, her eyes drooped with an unseemly deformity. The children filling the room suddenly filled her entire mind's eye with their past pains and their future hopes, their dreams and their fears.

If not for the strength that she felt flowing into her from the angel's touch that was still upon her head, she thought she might have collapsed from the overwhelming weight of it all.

She turned her gaze back to Merin, still standing in front of her. The little girl radiated a soft, gentle light that quavered timidly before her own, aimlessly seeking a place where it could shine without being snuffed out. Meirin looked up at her, waiting for the answer to her question, waiting for something more than what she was asking.

"Yes," said Jubilee, and was only a little surprised to find that she truly meant it.

* * *

In the months to come, Jubilee became a favorite of the children for her uncanny ability to know exactly how they wanted to play, exactly what they needed when they were in pain, and exactly what to say when they were afraid.

She felt rather undeserving of their adoration. After all, it wasn't by her own natural abilities that she was doing so well with them.

 _ **Would you prefer to get by on your own merit?**_ the angel had asked her one day, discerning her thoughts as usual.

Jubilee grimaced. God knew where that had gotten her in the past few years.

"No thanks," she'd told him.

Not to say that the work was easy. Jubilee may have suddenly become gifted in calming a screaming child, but that didn't bypass the screaming that had to come first. There were still dirty diapers to change, hungry mouths to feed, temper tantrums to quell, and chaos to dispel and discipline into some semblance of order.

"How can you stand it all?" she complained to Christine one day during naptime, after a particularly arduous morning and the majority of the children had finally, blessedly fallen asleep. The few older children who remained awake were coloring quietly in a corner. Jubilee plopped down in a chair across from the other American woman, who looked not much older than her. "Oh, that's right," Jubilee answered herself. "You're not fulltime. Guess having a couple days to recharge from all the insanity helps, huh?" Days were sometimes so busy that they flew by in a blur of lessons and chores and chasing children, and Jubilee was hard-pressed to be aware of anything else around her, much less the other volunteers.

The other woman just smiled a sweet and serene smile in the direction of the children napping at the other end of the room. "I suppose so," she said, rather humbly Jubilee thought. If she'd met her a few years earlier, Jubilee might have hated her. Christine clearly loved children and was a natural with them. Despite not having any supernatural ability that Jubilee was aware of, she got on just as well with the children as Jubilee did, but without breaking a sweat or hitting her head against a wall every now and then like she did. Here was a woman who did get by on her own merit. Even if Jubilee couldn't see the dazzlingly bright glow that frequently emanated from her, she would have been sure of that.

"It's not by my own merit, though," said Christine suddenly, as if reading Jubilee's thoughts. Jubilee nearly jumped. "Getting through all the work. I think you know what I mean."

Jubilee narrowed her eyes at the other woman, as if that would somehow help her read her mind better. "What do you mean?" she asked. _Does she see too…like I do?_

Beside her, her angel smiled, but said nothing to answer her thoughts.

Christine shrugged. "I talk to him too," she said simply.

Jubilee glanced surreptitiously at her angel for a moment. "Talk to who?"

"Dad."

Jubilee stared at the other woman for a moment, not comprehending.

Christine laughed lightly. "Sorry, that's just what I call him sometimes. In my head. I've noticed you talk to him too."

Jubilee continued to stare at Christine in confusion, and the angel sighed from beside her.

 _ **The Father, child,**_ he said at last. _**She's talking about the Father.**_

A radiant image of an indiscernible face, brimming over with light and love, surfaced from somewhere in the recesses of her memory.

"Oh," she said at last. _Crap,_ she thought to herself. She'd been caught talking to herself out loud.

Except that she wasn't talking to herself, was she? She was talking to Hellenos. She was talking to that voice that wasn't an audible voice, that feeling of a Presence that sometimes whispered through her heart, most often right before her vision was opened to another level. And here was somebody else who actually understood that.

Jubilee adjusted her seat, taking a moment to compose her thoughts before speaking again. "Why do you call him that?" she asked at last.

Christine shrugged again. Somehow it didn't come off as rude or apathetic on her. "That's what he is like, to me." There was another pause as Jubilee struggled to think of how to respond, before Christine suddenly grinned and said, "I think he told me about you coming here."

This took Christine by surprise. Then again, this whole year had been one full of surprises. "Um, what?" she asked, wishing that one of these days she would start becoming more eloquent.

Christine leaned forward excitedly and took Jubilee's hand like they were friends on a coffee date. "I've been praying for someone to come on fulltime, to take my place when I have to leave after the summer—"

"After you _what?_ " Jubilee felt panic rise within herself before she could fully process what the other girl was saying.

"And then I had this dream one night, about…about an ancient people—Israel, I think. They were celebrating a new year but this one was special because they'd had all their debts erased…not sure what that part was all about, but anyway, then there was this woman there with them, along with all of the children here, and she was taking care of them. And there were a few other people there that I didn't recognize; some children who weren't Japanese, and also a man who was very pale. Hmm." She paused for a moment, as though thinking, before she laughed. "Okay, that sounded kind of convoluted, but the thing is, when I woke up I was just certain that someone was being sent to us, don't ask me how I knew. And now, here you are!" She gestured at Christine, as thought to say, _Ta-da!_

Jubilee's mind spun with conflicting thoughts. She didn't know which to address first. "You're—you're leaving?" was what she finally settled on.

"Yes," said Christine. "I only come and volunteer during the summer."

"But…but you can't _leave!_ I can hardly keep up as it is, I'm going to die without you here!" Jubilee sounded frantic.

Christine laughed. "Oh Julie, you don't give yourself enough credit."

"Why can't you stay?" Jubilee heard herself ask, aware that she was getting desperate and being unreasonable. "What do you have to go back to the states for anyway?"

Christine's cheeks took on a rosy hue as her smile grew wider. "I'm getting married."

Jubilee deflated. "Oh." She crossed her arms and slumped in her chair, feeling defeated. After a moment's silence, she managed at last, "What are you doing here then?" The question was worded somewhat callously, but right now Jubilee didn't care.

The other girl didn't seem to take offense. "Haru, my fiancé, is Japanese. We come to visit his family during the summer."

"Huh," said Jubilee, still sounding dejected. "That's nice."

Christine laid a hand on Jubilee's shoulder. "Don't be discouraged or dismayed, Jubilee. Dad is with you wherever you go." She flashed her an encouraging smile, as she did so often. "You'll be alright."

Jubilee remained silent for a while longer, almost sullenly, but somehow Christine's words made her feel better, though they would have sounded empty and hollow coming from someone else.

"It's a year of Jubilee, that you dreamed," she said at last.

"What?"

"Your dream of the Israelites. What they were celebrating…it was a Jubilee year."

Christine snapped her fingers. "That's right! I thought it seemed like something I've read before." Then she tapped her chin in thought. "Wonder what it means though?"

Jubilee stared at the floor and did not reply.

* * *

 **A/N: To old readers...ta-da! Previous character cameo! Does that make this a Death Note x Free! crossover? Hmm...debatable...and ridiculous sounding. Have fun imagining that one.**

 _(Footnote: Christine's final encouragement to Jubilee is a paraphrase of Joshua 1:9.)_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _In the bleak realm in between realms, the shinigami with spiked black hair sat on a lump that was like a rock but not a rock, mulling over the recent events on earth as he idled away his moments outside of time. Beside him, another shinigami suddenly stepped out of the nothingness and materialized before him. This one was female, with purple hair that looked more like dead serpents hanging down the sides of her face._

 _"Well met, Rem," said the first shinigami, Ryuk, with a gravelly laugh. "What brings you here? Don't you still have your little human pet back on earth to watch after?"_

 _"Misa also gave up her Death Note and her memories, like Light did," answered Rem, no expression in her face._

 _"Oh, that's right," said Ryuk. "The plan's been getting so complicated that I forget what's what. Still though…" He cast the other shinigami a sly glance. "I know you're fond of following your little pet around, to keep an eye on her. What makes you seek me out?"_

 _Rem was silent for a moment, whether out of offense or to collect her thoughts, it was impossible to tell. Finally she said, "We need to talk."_

 _"Well, talk!" chuckled Ryuk, sweeping long, spindly fingers outward in the gesture of an invitation. "I'm all ears. Though, maybe not as much as that guy over there." He pointed towards the distance where a lone shinigami, whose body was covered in eyes and ears, meandered about aimlessly; and then he guffawed loudly at his own joke._

 _Rem didn't seem amused. "I've scrambled the tapes of human footage that have Misa in them. You ought to do the same for Light."_

 _Ryuk seemed to find this funny. "Why?"_

 _"They have a human with them who can see us."_

 _"Eh?" Ryuk sat up straighter. "Another human with a Death Note?"_

 _"No. She's a marked one."_

 _"Ohhh?" Ryuk put two fingers to his chin and tilted his head, interest piqued. "Marked, you say? Been a little while since I've seen one of those. And the last time I did, it was an unpleasant affair." He gnashed his teeth, making his face look a little more frightening than usual. "I wonder…But even so, it's rare for even a marked human to be able to see us."_

 _"Be that as it may, this one can."_

 _"Hmmm," said Ryuk, lost in a long train of thought. Then, suddenly, he laughed. "This just gets more and more interesting."_

 _Rem's face was as stoic as ever. "You must scramble the tapes for Light, Ryuk."_

 _Ryuk laughed even louder. "And why would I do that?"_

 _Rem peered at him, and though her facial muscles lacked the dexterity to express anything beyond an eerie blank stare, she spoke as if to a daft child. "You know that human technology's frequency is now high enough to be able to capture some of our sounds and movements. How much more clearly will it show us to the eyes of someone who has been given sight?"_

 _Ryuk grinned slyly up at Rem. "And why should I care?"_

 _"You have legal rights over Light's soul," Rem went on, ignoring him. "I can't touch his tapes and directly interfere with his fate. You have to do it."_

 _Ryuk leaned back lazily. "I ask you again, Rem…why should I care?"_

 _Ryuk knew her well enough to tell that she was getting frustrated with him, despite her aloof gaze. "That should be obvious," said the female shinigami through grit teeth. "Because that human girl will see_ _you_ _in them, and then they will eventually catch Light for being Kira…and Misa for being the second Kira."_

 _"No, no." Ryuk waved a hand dismissively. "They'll only have a clue, and that's not enough to incriminate anybody…and_ _that's_ _assuming they even believe the marked human, which I assure you, most other humans never do. Besides," he grinned widely, showing off an array of sharp, yellowed teeth, "It'll be much more fun this way."_

 _He could feel anger boiling beneath Rem's countenance, and he smiled. "I know, I know," he said. "You're worried for your little human." He guffawed again. "A shinigami like you becoming attached to a human, whoever heard of such a thing? You'd better be careful, Rem…I would say that the Shinigami King might have a punishment for that, except that I know he doesn't need to…it's punishment enough in itself." Ryuk stood up to be eye level with Rem, peering into her yellow eyes with his own as he continued to grin. "We're shinigami, Rem…love is for humans, and it inherently goes against our nature and inner substance. It kills us from the inside out—just like hatred does to humans."_

 _Rem gazed back at him but said nothing. After a long moment, she turned away and disappeared into the nothingness._

 _Ryuk sat back down on his lump. "A marked human girl, eh?" he said to himself, stroking his chin gleefully. "I wonder who it could be?"_

* * *

"Juliieeee!" Misa's shrill voice squealed. "You have to stay _still_ , if you want Misa-Misa to put this makeup on you!"

"I don't," said Jubilee, fidgeting under Misa's brushes and scrutiny.

"But you promised—!"

"I promised to let you practice your makeup on me, but I didn't say anything about wanting it or liking it," Jubilee corrected the younger girl. She sneezed from the powder puff hovering over her nose.

The two women were sitting together on a couch in Misa's lavish suite. Security cameras pointed at them from all corners of the room. Hellenos stood at his usual post in a corner. He looked amused.

The younger girl huffed, standing up to try and attack Jubilee's face from a higher angle with her brushes. "Why'd you promise then, if you didn't actually want to do it?"

Jubilee didn't answer. The truth was that she'd started to develop a vague suspicion over the girl ever since she'd begun surveying public security footage of Misa. Something about the tapes just seemed off to her. For one thing, whenever she watched them, she got the same underlying sense of dread in the pit of her stomach that she did whenever she saw a particularly powerful demon. Yet around Misa there was no sign of anything amiss—which was another thing. There was literally nothing surrounding Misa; no lights, no colors, no nothing, which was starkly contrasted against the colorful hubbub of every other human around her. It was as though someone had gone in with an eraser and completely blotted out any signature that Misa left on the spiritual plane.

When she'd voiced her findings to L, he'd instructed her to spend more time with the younger girl under the pretense of friendship, for the sake of observing her more. Which reminded her uncomfortably of her years in Chicago, but she didn't deign to share that fact. The truth was that she was as intent on getting to the bottom of this as anyone else on the investigation team. Though, to be honest, she hadn't foreseen being made into Misa's own personal, life-sized Barbie doll in the process.

"Don't you ever get tired of this?" said Jubilee, gesturing at her own painted face. "Trying to make ourselves into something we're not?"

Misa stopped and put her hands on her hips. "What do you mean?"

Jubilee sighed. "Painting our faces, essentially, to make them look prettier than they really are, for the sole purpose of attracting men."

"Hmph!" said Misa. "Makeup is so much more than that, don't you know? You just haven't used it enough to understand."

"Oh, I've used it plenty," said Jubilee darkly, remembering her thieving days. Over in the corner, Hellenos dimmed slightly.

"The art of makeup," Misa was going on to say, not catching Jubilee's grim tone, "Is more than just adding on beauty! It's to _enhance_ the beauty that you already have."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Jubilee resignedly. She leaned back against the couch cushions and listened to Misa blabber on for a while, singing the praises of all the different products she had done commercials for.

In truth, Jubilee was starting to become fond of the young pop star, despite their wildly differing tastes. Curiously, the girl shone a bright, bubbly pink to Jubilee's eyes, unlike her video counterpart. Sometimes the color flashed with hints of a malicious red, but this was not so different from most young girls that Jubilee observed. In fact, Jubilee could note nothing suspicious about her at all when they were together. Misa was like a child—temperamental, silly, and innocent. Hanging out with her was not much different than hanging out with the little girls of Wakahisa when they wanted to play dolls with her. Though, in this case, _she_ was the doll.

"And anyhow," Misa was saying, "Misa needs someone to practice on! To figure out the perfect look for when she and Light finally get to have their date!"

Jubilee arched an eyebrow at the blonde. "Why don't you just practice on yourself then?"

"It's more fun this way."

"Misa, we look nothing like each other." Jubilee gestured at her own dark brown hair and much less Asian face. "That makes no sense."

"Beauty doesn't have to make sense!" Misa harrumphed. "It just _is_. Why do you have to be such a downer about it all?" She pouted. "Misa-Misa was just trying to do something fun for the both of us."

Jubilee sighed and held up her hands. "I'm sorry," she placated. "I guess I've just had a few bad personal experiences. I didn't mean to take it out on you." She paused for a moment. Had she just apologized smoothly without even thinking about it?

 _ **Wow,**_ said Hellenos from his corner. _**Ten points for Gryffindor.**_

Jubilee had to use every ounce of self-control she had to refrain from whipping her head in the angel's direction. Misa didn't know that she could see in the spirit. _Did you just make a_ _Harry Potter joke_ _?_ she demanded in her head.

The angel only grinned widely at her.

"Oh?" Misa was speaking again. She set down her makeup palette and brushes on the coffee table and plopped down beside Jubilee on the couch. "Bad experiences, huh?" She gave a light sigh. "So this isn't fun for you at all, is it? Well, we can do something else. How about girl talk?"

Jubilee arched an eyebrow again. "…Girl talk?"

"Yeah, you know." Misa waggled her fingers. "About boys and stuff."

Jubilee gave a subtle glance skyward. _Lord help me_ , she thought _._

"Did your bad experiences involve a boy?" Misa asked.

Jubilee stiffened. "No," she said. "Well…not always."

"Hmm," said Misa thoughtfully, then said brightly, "We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."

Jubilee's momentary feeling of relief was bulldozed over by Misa's excited, "We can just talk about Light instead!"

"Oh great," deadpanned Jubilee.

The blonde didn't notice Jubilee's sarcasm and went on to gush, "Oh, Misa-Misa just loves having Light as a boyfriend! Do you have a boyfriend, Julie?"

"No," said Jubilee flatly. "And I don't want one."

Misa pouted dramatically. "Aw, Julie-Julie is so unromantic! Why not?"

"I just don't," she said. No need to bring the mood down even further with a lengthy psychoanalytical talk about raging guilt and lack of self-worth.

"Hmm," said Misa again, then said, rather sagely, "Is it because you think boys won't like you?"

Jubilee feigned ignorance. "What do you mean?"

Misa put a finger to her chin in semblance of thought and nodded wisely to herself. "You're afraid," she said. "That they won't want to stay with you."

Jubilee avoided looking at the other girl. For a dumb blonde, she could be surprisingly smart sometimes.

"But that's silly!" cried Misa. "Misa-Misa thinks you're very pretty, and nice too. And once you let Misa-Misa give you a makeover, lots of boys will want to be your boyfriend!"

Jubilee sighed. "Pretty makeup can only get you so far, Misa. I would know."

"But it can get you pretty far! _Misa-Misa_ would know." Misa winked.

Jubilee smiled a bit. As flighty as the other girl was at times, she was refreshing. And it had been a long time since Jubilee had had another female friend.

"Fine," she acquiesced, throwing up her hands in defeat. "If it'll make you happy…give me a makeover."

Misa squealed in delight and leapt back to her feet, grabbing her brushes and palette. "Do you want dramatic or natural eyeshadow? Wild or subtle colors? Dark or light lipstick? Contoured or highlighted—"

Jubilee put up a hand to cut off the other girl. "None of the above, if you keep talking like that." She rubbed her temples. "Just—do whatever you like. Whatever sounds fun." She had every intention of wiping off Misa's handiwork as soon as this little play date was over. "But no cutting my hair!" she added sharply when she saw Misa whip out a pair of scissors, which she put down again with a pout.

An hour later Jubilee walked out of Misa's room, grumbling about how much heavier her face felt. A cursory glance in the mirror at Misa's urging had forced her to admit, albeit begrudgingly, that the younger girl was good at what she did—if not rather heavy-handed with the application. Still though, it was not at all appropriate for a workplace environment. In fact, her reflection had given her brief déjà vu of her evenings spent in Chicago nightclubs. It was not a pleasant memory to reminisce over; and so Jubilee was determined to wash off the reminder as soon as possible.

She slipped into her room down the hall and made a beeline for the bathroom sink. As she turned on the faucet she glanced up into the mirror once more, despite trying to avoid doing so. She paused.

Kohl-rimmed eyes peered back at her through darkened lashes. Every line drawn and contour shadowed was perfectly done. Full red lips trembled as Jubilee stared at herself. The thought came to her, unbidden, that if she was still a thief, then she was decked out to make a killing tonight. She closed her eyes.

"My past does not define me," she whispered slowly to herself. The running faucet drowned out the sound of her voice to her own ears, but she continued. "Who I was…is not who I am."

 _ **Well said, child,**_ came the comforting sound of her guardian angel's voice, and she felt his hand on her shoulder. _**Very well said.**_

Taking a deep breath, Jubilee opened her eyes and washed her face clean, until every ounce of color went down the drain and the water rinsed clear.

* * *

 **A/N: A belated thank you to some past guest reviewers who left some very thoughtful reviews, _WildPeonies_ and _BlueGrey._ Interestingly, you both reviewed one right after another, and left positive feedback (which I'm so grateful for, so thank you!) despite coming from different belief backgrounds. It is always so gratifying to know that people of different beliefs can enjoy these stories. Having been an adamant nonbeliever myself once, it's important to me that no one feels judged or alienated because of their beliefs or where they are on their own personal journey. No one who ever set about to try changing my mind ever succeeded; it was only when I was understood and accepted, that things started to change inside of me...for the better. So know that you are accepted...whoever you are!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sometimes it seemed as though the moment Jubilee managed to cut herself some slack, the ruthless voice of doubt and self-condemnation would come charging in again. Some days she really did believe that she was a new and changed person, living a new and changed life. Other days it felt like she was only proving how incompetent she was at handling second chances, with every step that she took.

This was one of those days.

Today Jubilee sat in her office chair, staring blankly at her computer screen and feeling utterly useless. Yet another video of old security footage was playing on the monitor, this time of Light. Yet again, the black haze shrouded him, and the tall demon glided beside him as he walked in the street. Jubilee simply watched with a vacant gaze of disinterest. It was always the same thing. Old Light covered in darkness. Current Light having none of that; only a faint yellow hue that was perfectly clean, perfectly innocent, and perfectly boring. Old Misa unusually unmarked by any spiritual signature. Current Misa exuding a perfectly normal pinkish aura. Nothing following either current Light or current Misa. Jubilee must have watched over a hundred hours of footage by now, and she was still no closer to understanding what anything that she was seeing meant.

She tipped her chair back and looked upwards despondently. "What's the point?" she asked the ceiling. So she could see angels and demons. So what? She hadn't been able to contribute squat to the case.

Behind her in the lounge area, Aizawa and Matsuda pointedly ignored her pity party as they took their coffee break, having gotten used to her occasional mood swings—and outbursts at thin air—by now.

Beside her, Hellenos tsked. _**Be of good cheer, child,**_ he said. _**You know there is always a point and a purpose.**_

" _Everything is meaningless…completely meaningless,_ "quoted Jubilee under her breath. "Ecclesiastes, chapter one, verse two. Bam."

Hellenos gave her a hard look, before choosing the route of optimism. _**You've been studying. Well done.**_

Still lying back in her chair like a ragdoll, Jubilee put her hands over her face. " _Much study is wearisome to the flesh,_ " she mumbled through her fingers. "And thus, meaningless. Ecclesiastes, chapter twelve, verse twelve."

"Why the long face, Miss Amachi?" L had rolled his chair down the length of the desk beside hers, his handcuffed arm hanging behind him. A couple feet down Light patiently allowed his arm to hang outstretched as well, while ignoring the two and continuing to scroll through statistics on his computer.

Jubilee barely spared the detective a glance. " _It's all meaningless—like chasing the wind,_ " she intoned through her fingers. "Ecclesiastes, chapter one—"

"Verse fourteen," finished L.

Hellenos crossed his arms and gave Jubilee a look. _**This is very cute, you two bonding over bible study and all that. But might I suggest switching to another section of it for the time being?**_ He looked skywards and muttered, _**Sixty-six books to pick from, and she just had to choose Ecclesiastes.**_

Jubilee removed her hands from her face to give both the detective and the angel a sharp glance. "It's apt," she said. "Seeing as how, with everything I can see, it doesn't help the case at all."

"How do you mean?" inquired L, his tone calm.

Jubilee pointed at her computer screen where the video was still playing. "There's Light," she snapped. "He's got a black haze around him and a ten-foot-tall demon following him, as usual. Nothing new. There's a man," She jabbed another corner of her screen, "With two grayish clouds trailing after him. Here's a woman with something that looks like a red serpent coiled around her. There's a little girl with an angel standing behind her." She crossed her arms. "I could go on, but what's the point?"

L gazed at her, his eyes large and dark. "You can see all that?"

"Yes," answered Jubilee, feeling distinctly unproud of the fact. "So what? It's the same thing over and over. People, angels and demons. I can't see a connection between any of them, I can't see it how it relates to the case, and I can't see a way to catch Kira. So," She turned to the detective, agitated, "What is the point of being able to see all that I can see?"

L took her in silently for a moment, before responding, "Never say never, Miss Amachi."

Jubilee quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't. I said—"

"That you can't," cut in L. "Principle, not semantics, Miss Amachi. Specifically, you said that you can't _see_ , three times; which you then contradicted in the next sentence by acknowledging how very much you can see. Has anyone ever told you—" He leaned closer, his eerie eyes boring holes into hers, "That you don't give yourself enough credit?"

Jubilee stared back. She had the sudden vague realization that his eyes—which had always struck her as two soulless black holes rimmed with sleepless dark circles up until this point—were, in fact, gray. "I might have heard that once or twice," she said weakly.

 _ **Just once or twice?**_ snorted Hellenos.

"Miss Amachi," L continued, "Might I suggest that you are in fact much more competent and capable than you are making yourself out to be, that you have plenty to contribute to the case—which I can confirm, given the multiple clues you have already provided—and that you ought to, as some would put it, buck up."

She blinked as her brain fought to keep up, and then when it had, warred between feeling flattered or offended. Had that been more of a compliment or an insult?

 _ **That would depend on how you choose to take it,**_ said Hellenos dryly, from where he was standing between them. _**Might**_ _ **I**_ _ **suggest that you choose differently, for once?**_

Jubilee swallowed down a lump of pride mixed with self-realization. "I—I'm not like you, Ryuzaki," she said at last, softly. "I don't know how to connect all the dots to what I see. And despite all that I _can_ see, I…I still struggle with being able to see the big picture sometimes." She looked away, suddenly unbearably uncomfortable.

There was an intolerably long silence before L spoke again. "Look for patterns," was what he said at last.

Jubilee looked back at him. "Huh?"

"Look for patterns and similarities," L repeated himself patiently, "And then compare and contrast any differences that you find. That is how you see the big picture. That is how you do what I do."

She continued to stare at him uncomprehendingly for a second. Later she would bemoan how slow she seemed to be getting these days. But, perhaps, she would also come to realize that it was more a matter of the heart catching up than the mind—for this was the first time ever that she began to realize L was actually trying to help her. At the moment, however, all she could do was gaze back at him stupidly.

L let out a gentle exhale that could have been a sigh and leaned forward to access her computer. A few feet away Light gave a grunt of mild annoyance as his hand was tugged over even further, and he shifted in his seat to make up for the difference.

"Here," L was saying as he tapped her screen with a finger. "Pull up one of the earliest footage videos of Light that you have viewed so far, as well as one of the more recent ones."

Wordlessly she obeyed.

"Now play them side by side," he instructed.

She did so, and within a few seconds her brow furrowed as she watched. At last she stammered, "It's—he's—"

"What do you see?" L demanded. He had leaned in close to scrutinize her expression like she was a prize lab monkey. Jubilee was simultaneously too baffled and too excited by what she was seeing to be perturbed by his proximity.

"It's—!" she began again excitedly, before casting a sharp glance Light's way and cutting herself short. The other boy was paying no heed to them. She swiveled back to her screen, pulled up Microsoft Word, and began typing furiously.

 _It's Light,_ she wrote. _The haze around him is darker in the later footage._

She sat back in her seat. "I can't believe I never noticed it before," she breathed.

L was silent for a moment, before commanding quietly, "Look again, Miss Amachi. More deeply this time."

"What do you mean?"

L reached out to maneuver her mouse and pull the two videos up on the screen again, side by side, before leaning in close once more so that only she would be able to hear him. His breath tickled against her ear as he spoke. "You explained that the first time you observed that haze, you looked again, more deeply, and saw…something, underneath it."

Jubilee understood. _The knives._ But that time, she had been given a glimpse of something beyond her own capacity to see. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and turned back to the screen, before closing her eyes for a brief moment. _Dad…_ she thought, and then faltered. It had been so long since she had talked to Him, instead of just about Him. Would He answer her? _I…I'm sorry._ _I'm sorry I wanted to give up…again._ Silence stretched in her mind for a moment as she floundered over how to proceed. A soft warmth whispered through her heart and she found herself continuing. _But, if you'll give me another chance—let me see what you see._

She opened her eyes. Onscreen the two Lights, one older by a few months, walked around shrouded in the black haze. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the darkness shifted and sharpened into knives once again. She squinted, despite knowing this would do nothing to help. What she was seeing was a physical impossibility, unfathomable to the human brain. The number of knives in Light, in both videos, was more than could be counted, more than could reasonably be stuck into a human body…and yet Jubilee could see them all, having a clear sense of each one. It became clear to her that the older Light had a darker haze because there were more knives protruding from him—though he himself seemed none the wiser.

Jubilee let out the air she had been holding. "I see it," she breathed.

"What is it?" L prodded quietly, and would've probably gotten even closer to scrutinize her more, except that he was already as close to her as he could possibly be without pulling Light out of his chair. "What do you see?" he asked into her ear.

She pulled up Word again and typed, _There are more knives in him as time goes on._

L said nothing for a minute, and Jubilee turned to look at him. It struck her then just how close he was to her. He, however, didn't seem to notice as his mind worked and whirred. Jubilee could see lights and colors dancing and twining together above his head—which, she realized to her surprise, she had never taken the time to notice before. It suddenly struck her that she had never allowed herself to truly look at L and _see_ him, the way she did everything else, until this moment…and it had all been out of sheer prejudice and dislike for him, which blinded her to the glaring fact that she had never bothered to look at him in the spirit before.

What she saw was a heavy grayness the color of his eyes, hanging about him like a veil. But there was something beyond that which made her breath catch. Underneath the gray, there flashed occasional, sporadic spurts of dazzling color and soft light. She caught an obscure flash of something bright and beautiful that her brain couldn't quite fathom. Jubilee suddenly realized that she was staring at the man. Feeling strange, she looked away, blinking hard to dissipate a foreign and unexplainable sensation from her mind.

L didn't notice any of this—or if he did, he did not seem to care. Instead, he lurched forward from where he was crouched in his seat to take hold of the computer's mouse and keyboard, his shoulder knocking hers in the process. She flinched at the contact, suddenly nervous about being so near him. He didn't apologize, however; and instead began to click and type rapidly, until another video popped up on the screen. It was of Light, sitting at the desk in his old bedroom. He appeared to be doing his homework while snacking on a big bag of potato chips. There was a slight haze over him as usual—but much, much lighter than any Jubilee had seen yet. The video was dated to nine months ago.

L turned back to her. "Miss Amachi," he began. His face was expressionless and his tone as steady and steely as ever, but she could detect an underlying tremor of excitement in his voice. Warm waves, of a slightly orange hue, emanated off of him through the gray. "I want you to do what you just did, again, with this video, and tell me what you see."

His tone broached no questioning. She turned to the screen and did as she was told.

Her vision was still as clear as it had been for the last few minutes. The haze quickly shifted itself into the form of knives protruding out of Light's body—but there were much fewer than she had ever seen. As she diligently watched, however…they began to increase. First one, then two, then three appeared out of the ether around the boy and were thrust into him with such violence that it was all Jubilee could do to keep from shrieking. She wondered in horror how Light could not have felt it.

L watched her jerk and go pale, but said nothing until five minutes into the video, when the Light onscreen leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms, apparently taking a break. There were six new knives in him now. L reached out and paused the video. Leaning forward, he prompted her again. "What did you see?"

With shaking fingers, Jubilee typed out a summary of what she had witnessed as best she could. L read quietly beside her as she wrote. When she finished, she turned to him with wide eyes.

"What does it mean?" she whispered.

From above her shoulder Hellenos suddenly spoke up, making her jump. She had forgotten he was there. _**When one takes a life, life is taken from them,**_ he said. His tone was cryptic but Jubilee realized, with a jolt, that this was the clearest clue he had given her yet. She stared up at him, wide-eyed, then back at L.

"When one takes a life, life is taken from them," she repeated aloud.

The detective's sharp eyes had taken in her every move. He chewed mercilessly on his thumb. "Six," he said softly, "Is the exact number of criminals that were murdered by Kira during the time frame of that video."

Jubilee went cold. "You're saying—that must mean—" Her eyes slid to the person on the other end of the handcuffs that were attached to L's wrist. The sandy-haired young man sat before his computer, the picture of perfect concentration and diligence, working hard on the case. A sweet and innocent yellow glow permeated from him.

"Yes," said L, so softly now that even she could barely hear him. His head was down, his shaggy black hair hiding his face as he spoke. "Light is the first Kira."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the long wait, my friends! After the last chapter, I had family visit for a week and figured I'd get back to writing right after that...but, well, spring busy-ness swooped in and time just flew. If it's any consolation, I've already written a good amount of the next chapter! So you should get to read it in a more timely manner.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Jubilee didn't get much sleep in the days following. Instead she stayed up late into the night alongside L, watching video after video of footage with renewed diligence while the latter sat at his computer station beside a sleeping Light, alternating between chewing his thumb while staring intently at his suspect, running through kill statistics on his computer, and poring through the pages of Watari's bible.

 _We now need hard evidence to prove what we know,_ L had told her. _Physical evidence to support the…supernatural evidence._

Jubilee didn't have much to offer in the department of physical evidence, but she did what she could to discover any further information that could help L connect clues in the physical. Of her own accord, she would remain in front of her computer after all the other task force members had gone to bed, staying there for hours into the night. Her only companions were L and Light a few feet to her right—and only one of them stayed awake.

She and L rarely spoke to each other. Occasionally she would let him know that she had forwarded to him certain key clips with her notes attached. Otherwise they worked in complete silence. Armed with L's strategy of comparing and contrasting patterns, Jubilee had a newfound focus in her work. Sometimes though, she caught herself watching the detective while he worked. It really was a wonder to watch the man think. Wheels and cogs of light turned in the air around him, now and then producing fountains of fantastic color that would spill out and over. The whole effect seemed to make him glow despite the gray veil over him, and his eyes seemed to lighten, contrasting almost handsomely against the dark circles beneath them. Jubilee could not deny the fact that she was impressed. She had always known because everyone else said so, but now she knew because she could see it with her own eyes: This man was a genius.

Tonight, however, no ethereal light shows emanated from the detective. In fact, Jubilee noticed that they seemed to have decreased over the last few days, diminishing into a dull, default gray hanging over him. To her surprise, she found that this made her worried for him. She said nothing though. Her own brain was starting to disintegrate into a state of mush from lack of sleep. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open but she pushed on, determined to make some kind of headway. Maybe finding a new clue would encourage L to lighten up—literally.

She clicked a video file at random, barely even registering what it was through her drooping eyelids. As it started to play, however, she sat up straight and her eyes widened.

There was Light, walking from the train station to class. No haze surrounded him. No demon followed him. There was only a faint, yellow glow over the young man.

She almost called Ryuzaki's name to alert him but bit her lip at the last minute, deciding to solidify her find. Quickly she began to pull up and scan through footage from around the same date. Over and over again she saw the same thing—Light, pre-haze and pre-demon.

Then, at last, she found what she was looking for.

"Ryuzaki!" she cried in a hoarse whisper, and leapt up from her seat to bound over to the detective. Reaching his shoulder, she cast a quick glance at Light—who was snoring soundly—and then bent to speak into the detective's ear. She was too excited to wait and write it out.

"November 28th," she said, "Is when the haze first appears."

She stood back proudly. L, however, barely seemed to notice her. To her chagrin he merely nodded and murmured, "I see," then continued to stare blankly at his computer screen. Nothing permeated through the haze of gray around him.

She stood aghast for a moment. How was he not excited? Normally such a letdown of her expectations might have angered her, but she found concern welling up within herself instead. She leaned back down, bracing herself with a hand against the desk to peer into L's gray eyes.

"What's wrong?" she demanded. "This is a big clue. Why aren't you excited?"

L didn't meet her gaze. "I am," he said dismissively. A line appeared over his head and snapped in two.

"You're lying," she said, and then added after a moment, "I'm not guessing—I can see it."

He turned to her then, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Have you been able to tell this whole time whether people are telling the truth or not?"

She gulped at the intensity in his gaze, but held her voice steady as she responded. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I only know when I know. And to answer the question you're probably going to ask, no one that I've met so far on the case has lied, that I know of, beyond little white lies like, 'I'm fine,' when they're actually stressed to the point of a nervous breakdown. Now," She leaned forward to fix him with a firm stare, "Answer my question. What's wrong?"

L returned her stare for a brief second before turning away, his hair falling over his eyes. "Nothing is wrong, Miss Amachi. Now get back to work, or go to bed." Once more the line above his head snapped in two.

"You're lying again," said Jubilee.

A slight crease in the detective's brow was the only indication of his irritation. "Very well," he said at last after a pause. He continued to scroll mechanically through the statistics on his screen, not looking at Jubilee as he went on, "I am not excited; because you have merely discovered the date that Kira's power was transferred to Light and he became the first Kira, before the power was then transferred again…thereby making it nigh impossible to ever catch Kira, if his or her power continues to jump from person to person. Which," he added, both charitably and glumly, "Is not your fault, of course. Simply the facts."

Jubilee straightened back up, brow creased. So this was why L had seemed so discouraged lately! He had already solved the case as far as he could see. He was losing hope of there being any further progress. Before she knew what she was doing, she had reached out to lay a hand on L's shoulder.

"Hey," she said softly, tilting her head down to try and catch his eye. "Listen to me. Don't lose hope. I still believe in you."

There was a pause as this uncharacteristic show of compassion registered with both of them. Jubilee blinked, baffled by her own actions, and quickly withdrew her hand. Where had _that_ come from?

Slowly L's head turned towards her, and she felt heat rise to her cheeks. For a moment he just stared at her, a doubtful look in his eyes. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. She desperately hoped that he wouldn't ask her why, becauseshe did not know the reason herself. Honestly, it was probably slight insanity from lack of sleep.

"Thank you," said L, and through the gray there flickered the smallest flash of light.

Jubilee saw that flicker and felt her heart surge with something strange and new. Compassion, empathy, appreciation? She wasn't sure what. "You're welcome," she heard herself say, and then to her astonishment, realized that she did not regret anything she had just said. Even more astonishing, the words had been true. She did believe in him…and hadn't even known that she did until this moment. And she knew why she believed in him, too. It was because of everything she had witnessed of him—his sleepless nights working tirelessly on the investigation, though never burdening anyone else to; his willingness to put the case, and thereby others, before himself; his ingenuity, his determination and, as Watari had testified, his genuine compassion.

"You should get some rest, Miss Amachi," L's voice cut through her internal revelations. "You must be very tired." The line above his head stayed strong and intact. Jubilee felt her heart soften. He was being sincere.

In a daze—from lack of sleep, and from the overwhelming amount of everything that she was mentally processing—she responded, "You could just call me Julie, you know."

L's dark eyes measured her for a moment. "Very well, Miss Julie," he said at length. "You need sleep."

"I'm fine," she lied.

The corner of L's lip quirked upwards ever so slightly. "Now you're the one lying," he pointed out. "I can clearly see that you need sleep. You're getting dark circles under your eyes."

She laughed. "So? You seem to have them permanently." _Though they look good on him_.

The unexpected thought made her stop short and she gazed dumbly at him for a second. He said something in response, but she didn't register what. Instead she stared into his large, dark eyes, feeling disoriented and confused. Had she just thought…?

Yes. She had thought—and did think—that he had nice eyes. Very nice eyes, in fact.

She straightened with a sudden jerk. "Um—I—" she stuttered. She stared at L again. Faint wisps of light and color were beginning to make an appearance underneath the gray veil once more. The sight of them, framing his eyes and lighting up his entire countenance, made her heart thump erratically. _What is happening to me?_ she thought, feeling alarmed. "Maybe I do need sleep," she blurted, then rubbed at her eyes. "I think—I think I might be starting to see things."

L quirked an eyebrow and quipped, "We always knew that."

Jubilee laughed weakly, then felt her heart thump again at the fact that he could make her laugh. Feeling a wild panic, she sobered quickly. "Right," she said, swiftly turning on her heel so that he wouldn't see the color rising to her cheeks. "I'll just take your advice then, shall I? Goodnight!" she called over her shoulder, and then all but ran for the elevator.

Coming to a stop at the landing she braced herself over her knees, breathing hard. Feeling her forehead, she wondered if she had a fever. That would explain this madness.

 _ **Feeling all right?**_

She jumped back with a startled yelp and collided hard with the wall.

"Hellenos!" she hissed between her teeth. "My God, don't scare me like that!"

The angel arched an eyebrow. _**What…did you forget that I'm**_ _ **always**_ _ **here?**_

"Um…"

 _ **And don't take the Lord's name in vain.**_ The angel crossed his arms sternly, but his lip twitched. _**Something's distracting you, I see.**_

Jubilee stared at him for a second, then shook her head viciously to clear it and turned away to jab at the elevator button violently. "I'm just tired," she mumbled.

 _ **Uh-huh.**_

As she waited for the elevator doors to open, her glance slid back towards the young detective still sitting downstairs in the main room. No light emanated from him at the moment, but the sight of his dark hair falling over his face made her heart beat irregularly once more. She caught herself staring and turned back with a jerk.

"I think I might be going crazy, Hellenos," she muttered under her breath. "Or having a heart attack. A slow, drawn out heart attack. Kira must have gotten to me."

 _ **Not possible,**_ said the angel dismissively. _**Kira cannot touch you. Now, mind telling me some of the symptoms of what is ailing you?**_

She glared at her guardian angel. "You know exactly what I am thinking and feeling," she snapped.

 _ **Perhaps,**_ said the angel airily, _**But you don't.**_

"Argh," grumbled Jubilee, and then beat the elevator doors with a fist. "What is _taking_ this thing so long?"

Hellenos made a show of examining his fingernails as he leaned casually against the elevator frame. _**Maybe it will arrive once we finish figuring out what ails you.**_

Jubilee stared at the angel, then at the elevator, then back at the angel. "You didn't," she hissed. She glanced nervously down at where L was sitting.

 _ **Don't worry. He won't notice you.**_

"Open this door," Jubilee ordered. "Why are you doing this?"

Hellenos looked up to shoot her a serious expression. _**Because there is something important that you need to see. And sometimes, it takes a closed door before you are willing to see it.**_

Jubilee threw up her hands. "Fine," she said. "What is it?"

 _ **That is for you to figure out, not me to tell you.**_

She gave him a look of daggers. "So you won't let me go forward until I listen to you, but you won't tell me what it is that I need to go forward?"

 _ **Do you expect all the answers to just be dropped into your lap?**_ When Jubilee continued to scowl at him, he sighed and said, _**You are a clever human, Jubilee. You have all that you need to understand anything you wish, so long as you are willing.**_

Jubilee's scowl slowly melted off her face, to be replaced by a crestfallen expression. "Maybe I'm just not willing to see what you want me to see then," she murmured.

Hellenos gave her a considering look. _**Then be willing to be made willing.**_

Jubilee's shoulders drooped in defeat. "Alright," she said softly. She turned away to think. Crossing her arms, she tapped her foot and thought hard. Her gaze slid slowly back down to the detective. She narrowed her eyes at him and squinted. A memory of a past prayer entered her mind.

 _Dad, help me to see what you see._ That was what she had asked right before discovering the changing patterns in Light's haze. And right before she had noticed L in the spirit for the first time.

Below her, soft colors glowed and emanated from the pale young man. He tilted his head in thought and chewed on a thumb. For a split second, as Jubilee watched, the gray haze around him seemed almost silver from the gentle light. Her breath hitched as the light caught his eyes and somehow, unexplainably, caused his entire face to brighten and the hard angles of his visage to soften. The overall effect was the loveliest thing she had ever seen.

With a shuddering breath she tore her gaze away, just as a small seed of suspicion slowly took hold of her. Both Watari's voice and Hellenos' rose up from within the confines of her memory, overlapping from multiple moments in time to become one.

 _God is love,_ Watari had said, as had Hellenos many times before.

 _Love is seeing the best in someone_ , had been Hellenos' words in explanation of Dad's love for her _._ They had been Watari's words as well…in reference to L.

With a sudden, gut wrenching mental click that made the whole world seem to tilt on its axis, all the pieces fell into place. Jubilee gaped in horror as realization hit her like a freight train.

"Oh no," she breathed.

With a bright, revelatory _ding!_ , the elevator doors opened.

Hellenos grinned at the stricken look on her face.

 _ **Going up?**_ he said.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Denial is a powerful thing.

Jubilee experienced this first hand when, within eight hours, she had convinced herself to forget the revelation of the night before. Instead, she had replaced it with a myriad of excuses that, despite being more comfortable to face, were nonetheless still annoying.

"Stockholm Syndrome," she declared through a mouthful of toothpaste to her own reflection as she brushed her teeth that morning. She spit the mouthful of minty foam into the sink and looked back up at the mirror. "I've got Stockholm Syndrome," she declared to herself with unassailable certainty. "It's the only possible explanation."

 _ **Is it now,**_ said Hellenos dryly from the corner.

"Yes." She nodded her head furiously at the mirror. "I've been cooped up in this building for too long. I'm losing it."

Hellenos leaned against the wall. _**You know, humans do this a lot. Explain away the miraculous with the mundane.**_

"Hah!" Jubilee whirled on Hellenos, pointing her toothbrush at him accusingly. "It _is_ miraculous, isn't it? Which means that it's not _natural_. Which means that I _don't_ —! I don't…" She glared at the end of her toothbrush, unable to bring herself to say the words aloud. With a _hmph_ she whirled around again, grumbling ominously to herself as she fumbled around on the counter for her contact lens case.

 _ **Don't what?**_ asked Hellenos innocently.

"Nothing," snapped Jubilee. "I don't like him." She snatched up her contacts and proceeded to insert them into her eyes.

 _ **Who?**_

"You know who!" Jubilee shouted, almost poking her eyes out in her agitation. Taking a deep breath and gripping the edge of the counter, she lowered her forehead to the cold white edge of the sink and counted to ten. "Tell me I don't like him, Hellenos," she said softly, her eyes closed. "Not like that."

 _ **Why?**_ snorted the angel. _**You don't listen to me half the time anyway.**_

Jubilee snapped upright, thoroughly irritated. "This can't be happening to me," she said through gritted teeth.

 _ **What**_ _ **can't be happening to you? Use your words now.**_

"Nothing. _Nothing_ is happening to me," she hissed. "I am _not_ attracted to him. It's not possible."

 _ **And why not, pray tell?**_

"Because it doesn't make any sense! He's not attractive. He's not good-looking. And frankly, he's weird," she declared, more to her reflection than anyone else.

Hellenos put a hand over his eyes. _**One step forward, two steps back,**_ he murmured to himself.

Jubilee whirled back to him. "You explain it then," she demanded. "How can I be attracted to someone I don't find attractive?"

Hellenos regarded her coolly. _**I thought you just said that you aren't.**_

Jubilee felt herself panic. "I'm not!"

 _ **Hmm.**_ Hellenos cocked his head as though considering her. _**You're right. You're not making any sense.**_

Jubilee slammed her fist against the counter in despair and frustration, then dragged her hands down her face. "That's it. I must be losing my sanity."

Hellenos glided over and patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. _ **Love can feel strange at first.**_

Jubilee nearly fell over, so violently did she flinch at that statement. There it was. The dreaded L word.

" _What?!_ " she screeched. "Who said anything about _love_?"

Hellenos gave her a pointed look.

"Oh no." She began shaking her head at rapid-fire speed. "Absolutely not. There's no way."

 _ **Why not, Jubilee?**_ pressed the angel. _**What are you so afraid of?**_

"What? No. I am not a _fraid_ of anything," huffed Jubilee. "He _arrested_ me and locked me in a cell for fifty days. I don't even _like_ him! And now we're talking about _love?_ "

 _ **You're back to dwelling on the past again, are you?**_

Jubilee swiveled her head up to glare at him. "I don't _want_ to be in love, Hellenos," she snapped. "I was never looking for love, and I never asked for it." She shrugged his hand off of her shoulder as she turned away. "We would never work out anyway. Plus, it would be highly unprofessional." Grabbing a brush, she proceeded to hurriedly finish up her morning routine.

Hellenos watched her as she yanked the brush roughly through her hair. "Love doesn't only go after the ones who are looking and asking," he said softly. "You should know. You've met Him."

The brush paused mid-stroke, but then finished its journey through Jubilee's long brown tresses before she set it down. "I've got to get to work," she mumbled finally. Not meeting the angel's eyes, she turned to exit the bathroom.

"That's what they always say," sighed the angel as she walked past him, and then started to go dim.

Jubilee didn't look to see if he was with her when she made her way to the elevator and hit the down button.

* * *

The first few hours of the workday passed by under a cloud of agonizing tension. Jubilee had been pointedly ignoring L the whole time, even when he made simple requests such as asking her to forward certain notes to other members of the team. She obeyed each time, but without a word of acknowledgement. Other than that there was only a scowl to indicate that she had heard him at all.

It didn't take a detective to notice her change in behavior. The other task members cast her wary glances as she thumped away at her keyboard, her black mood hanging ominously about her like a storm cloud.

"Miss Julie," whispered Matsuda nervously to her during his coffee break, "Have you—um—have you and Ryuzaki…had a falling out of some kind?"

The young woman turned slowly towards him, her eyes narrowed with a murderous glint. "What do you mean?" she asked darkly.

The young officer gulped, instantly regretting his question. "Um—I just mean—"

"What," she continued, her tone dangerous, "Could there be to fall out _of_?"

Matsuda swallowed. "Nothing!" he chirped before he hurried away, wondering to himself how it was that women could be so frightening.

Jubilee turned back to her computer screen. Taking a deep breath, she tried to pull herself together. This was bad. It occurred to her that if even _Matsuda_ , of all people, could tell that something was up with her, then it boded ill for her to be in the same room as the greatest detective in the world. Willing herself to appear calm, she cast a casual glance L's way.

He was looking at her.

She whipped her head back around to her computer, heart thumping with dread. That look had been a calculating one. He was treating her behavior as a case to solve.

 _Please God,_ she thought, _Don't let him figure it out._

Schooling her features into a neutral expression, she turned back to him. "What?" she asked as amiably as she could.

He regarded her with calm detachment. "So we are speaking now?" he responded simply.

The statement hit her like a dart with its unsaid reproach and subtle confrontation. Panicking, she mentally sifted through options of how to respond. She could pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about, but her conduct had been too blatant for this tactic to be believable. Silently she berated herself. _Stupid._ Her own stubborn denial had been her undoing.

The realization made her stop short. She _was_ in denial, wasn't she? At the very least, whether it was for logical reasons or not, L had an effect on her. Call it insanity or hormones, this was a fact that could no longer be denied. That was why she was acting so hostile towards him; it was the classic kindergartener's response to having a crush—act like you hate them.

The thought made her shudder. _Why_ her? Why _him_ , of all people? What was it about the human brain or, perhaps, the female heart, that so readily developed an attraction towards anyone in the vicinity that you spent _x_ amount of time with? It was stupid. But it must be the explanation. Yes, this was all simply due to some mysterious interwoven design of biology, brain chemicals, and hormones. It could happen to anyone in her situation.

Comforted by this reasoning, she replied to L, "Yes. Sorry if I seem moody today. It's just...um…" She groped for an excuse and blurted the first thing that came to mind. "My time of the month."

If she could've slapped herself, she would've. _Why?_ Why was there some unwritten law of the universe that doomed humans to inevitably say something embarrassing in front of the person they liked?

L had little reaction besides another calculating look. She groaned internally. Great. Now he was _thinking_ about it.

Hoping desperately that their conversation was at an end, she swiveled back to face her computer and made a show of being busy. No one bothered her for the remainder of the day, but every now and then, she thought she could feel a pair of intense eyes on her.

* * *

Three days passed. With each passing day, Jubilee felt her nerves start to fray more and more. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't concentrate on the case. Hours of footage played in front of her without her paying the least bit of attention. It took all of her energy to simply act normal around L so that he wouldn't suspect what was going on with her.

It was a task easier said than done.

If she ignored him, it would give him reason to suspect. If she paid too much attention to him, that too would give him reason to suspect. Each day passed by in a stressful cycle of vacillating between forced cordiality and feigned coldness. In an attempt to remedy her initial rude behavior, she had tried the route of generosity; offering to bring him treats from the refreshment cart, or refill his tea, or obtain extra sugar cubes for him. After the first few hours of this gracious treatment, L had raised an eyebrow at her and asked whether she was running a fever. Turning immediately red-faced, she'd had no choice but to agree in order to make the telltale sign work in her favor. After a day of restless bed rest, she had tried going back to being cold and distant. This, once more, made the detective question her health. After assuring him that she was perfectly recovered, she had spent the next thirty-six hours stressing over how to strike the perfect balance between disinterested, but not too disinterested. The overall experience made her feel like she was walking on eggshells on a tightrope between two unlevel skyscrapers, with little sleep and a pit of hungry tigers and bears waiting eagerly below for her inevitable demise.

"A break, perhaps, Miss Amachi?" The source of her distress spoke up from beside her shoulder, where he had rolled his chair down to with one arm outstretched behind him.

Jubilee simultaneously stiffened in dread and felt heat rise to her cheeks at his proximity. With all of her willpower she forced herself into a semblance of cool indifference. "No," she said shortly without looking at him. _Shoot_. That had come off as impolite. "Thank you," she added hastily, then pretended serious interest in the video she was watching.

She felt the detective's eyes still on her in intense scrutiny. "Don't you want to know why?" he asked after a long moment.

Jubilee swallowed. She'd have to turn to look at him for this conversation, lest she come off as ignoring him. Slowly she turned. "Why what?" she asked back, making a point to avoid eye contact and stare fixedly at a spot on his forehead.

"Why I should offer you a break. You might have noticed that that is an uncharacteristic gesture."

"You've done it once before," she said, then was surprised that she remembered. It had indeed been an uncharacteristic show of kindness at the time. Was that when her heart had first started softening towards him, without her even realizing it?

"True. But only because there was a 95% likelihood that you were about to keel face first into your computer from fatigue, thereby inflicting major damage on company property. You may have needed a few stitches at most, but the technological resource would have been irreparable—and therefore the greater loss."

Jubilee blinked. Why did she like this guy again? "Your point?" she said darkly, forgetting to act respectful.

"My point, Miss Amachi, is that it would take an extreme reason for me to make that suggestion."

With a pang, Jubilee suddenly realized that he had reverted back to calling her by her surname for this conversation. She silently rebuked herself for the thought. Why should she care?

With great effort she reined in her irritation and inner turmoil. "Alright," she said politely. "Why?"

"You seem to have been in a state of extreme stress for the past few days, Miss Amachi. I suspect your mental state is hindering you from making any progress in the case. Therefore I suggest you take a break until you have recovered."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said with feigned ignorance. "I'm fine."

"I beg to differ, Miss Amachi."

The repeated use of her surname in such a formal and detached manner made her want to shake him, for reasons she couldn't quite understand. She reined in the impulse. _Get a grip, Jubilee,_ she thought to herself fiercely. Erratic behavior would only be dropping major clues right into the detective's lap. She had to try and get him off her case.

"There's nothing bothering me," she stated as blithely as she could. "We've all just been focused on making headway in the Kira case. I don't need a break."

L measured her silently with wide, gray eyes. Bravely she tried to keep eye contact with him without breaking into a sweat. Luckily, her sight had reverted back to a more primitive level for the time being when it came to him; no distracting lights emanated from the gray-eyed young man, though she sometimes still saw the dull gray haze or other small things around him. Perhaps she had simply willed herself to stop seeing the light.

At last he opened his mouth to speak. "Perhaps that is so," he said. A line appeared above his head and snapped in two. He didn't believe her.

 _Crap._

"But," he continued, "Be that as it may…I insist." Leaning across her, her pushed the power button on her computer and shut it off. Leaning back to crouch on his haunches again, he appraised her with another measured look. She fought to breathe normally under his scrutiny. Even if she _didn't_ like him, this would have been nerve-wracking.

"Misa has demanded to have a date with Light today. As was agreed upon, I must be there as well. You may accompany us."

Jubilee felt panic swell in her throat. "What? Why?"

L arched an eyebrow. "As I said, Miss Amachi—to take a break. The four of us are roughly in the same age category. Is this not what young people generally consider to be a form of recreation?"

Jubilee wanted to scream. It was the worst possible thing that could be happening to her right now. The object of her unwilling affections had just unknowingly and indirectly asked her on a double date.

Or was he on to her?

The worst possible thing suddenly became even worse.

"I'd—really rather not," she began.

"As I said," L cut her off, "I insist."

Jubilee pressed her lips into a thin line. Was this an innocent suggestion made out of kindness? Or was he more concerned about her usefulness towards the case than about her mental wellbeing? _Or_ was it manipulation to figure out what was going on with her? In her panic she had failed to observe whether or not there had been a line over L's head to indicate his genuineness. But whatever the case may be, it seemed that she had no choice in the matter.

"Yes boss," she said flatly. She was darned if she was going to let him think that this prospect at all pleased her. _Definitely Stockholm Syndrome,_ she thought to herself with resentment.

"Very good," said L, turning away to roll his chair back to his workstation beside Light. "We will be going up shortly."

* * *

 **A/N: You guys like that part about love being "the dreaded L word"? Because it's about...you know...L.**

 **Honestly, though...I didn't do that on purpose.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The sound of a ticking clock droned loudly in Jubilee's ears as she sat miserably on the couch in Misa's room beside the blond pop star. Across from them sat Light and L on an opposite couch. The only other sound apart from the clock and the awkward silence was L munching noisily on a slice of cake, courtesy of Watari, whose baked contribution sat on the coffee table between them.

"Man," said Misa, her annoyed tone cutting through the silence at last, "This has got to be the lamest date I've ever been on."

Jubilee would have agreed, except that she had never been on a real date. One night stands usually skipped those. She said nothing.

"No, no, please," L spoke through a mouthful of cake as he reached over for another slice, "Just pretend like I'm not even here."

Misa glared at the black-haired man. "You're such a pervert! Could you stop it with your creepy hobby?"

No one deigned to make any response to this; L too busy wolfing down his second slice of cake, Light staring off into space in boredom, and Jubilee focused on looking anywhere but at the detective sitting across from her. Misa huffed angrily.

"When can Misa be alone with Light?" she asked.

"She can't," replied L shortly, before reaching over again for his third slice. "Cake?" he offered politely.

Misa huffed again. "Cake makes you fat. I'm not gonna eat any."

"Actually," said L, his mouth full as he chewed, "I've found that you don't gain any weight as long as you burn calories by using your brain."

"Hmph!" The pop star sat up, fists clenched. "So now you're calling me stupid?"

Somewhere in the midst of her inner turmoil, Jubilee felt the caretaker side of herself that had been ingrained into her at Wakahisa kick in. "No, no," she placated the blonde, shooting L a reproving glare. "You're thin, Misa…therefore you must've been effectively using your brain to burn off calories this whole time."

"Oh." Misa sat back on the couch, processing this explanation. "So it wasn't all that cardio?" she wondered.

"Er…I'm sure it was a combination of both," offered Jubilee lamely.

"And dieting, most likely," piped up L matter-of-factly, ignorant of Jubilee's efforts at negotiating peace in the room. "Which suggests that your brain didn't have too many calories to burn in the first place."

"Wait…" Misa scrunched up her forehead, thinking hard, before indignant revelation broke out across her face. "You _are_ calling me stupid!"

She jumped to her feet and was about to launch herself across the table at L, tiny fists swinging; when Jubilee deftly intercepted her with a yank on the back of her shirt that sent her backwards onto the couch with an _oomph_.

"Sit down, Misa," Jubilee calmly ordered the younger girl. "It's not worth it to mess up your nails."

Misa thought about it. "Hmph!" she said at last, crossly. "That's too true!" And then she proceeded to hurl a verbal barrage of very loud, very crude insults at L.

Jubilee put a palm to her face. "I give up," she murmured.

"You can call me whatever you like," the detective was saying, his tone one of complete apathy as he reached out for the last slice of cake. "Last chance for cake."

Jubilee swooped in and grabbed it. " _I'll_ take that," she snapped. Digging into the slice with a fork, she grumbled to herself, "I'm not getting paid enough for this."

L graciously ignored the latter statement. "Very well," he sighed, and leaned back into the couch despondently.

Light suddenly spoke up. "What's wrong with you?" he asked L. "I thought moving here was supposed to help us catch Kira. But since we've been here you haven't seemed very motivated at all."

Jubilee glanced up from her cake, surprised to hear the brown-haired young man speak. He had been silent during the date until this moment. As usual, he glowed a pale yellow.

"Hmm." L thumbed his bottom lip in thought, before grimly declaring, "You're right. Actually, I'm depressed."

" _Depressed?_ What for?" Light demanded.

Jubilee felt herself stiffen. She knew why—had known why since that first night that she had started feeling… _something_ …for L.

"Well, truthfully," began the detective, "All this time I thought that you were Kira…and my entire case hinged on that fact." He sighed dejectedly. "I suppose I just can't get past the fact that my deduction was wrong. Although, having said that…I am still suspicious of you." He held up an arm, indicating the handcuffs connecting them. "That's why we're still wearing these." Letting his arm drop, he continued in a glum tone, "So far we know that Kira can remotely control people's actions. That explains all the criminal deaths that weren't induced by heart attacks, such as the motor accidents and the suicides. Which means it's highly likely that Kira was controlling your actions so that I would suspect you—and Misa as well." L paused for a moment, gripping his knees fiercely before sticking a finger in the air. "The two of you _were_ Kira. I don't think I could have been wrong about that. And I don't believe it is coincidence that as soon as you were confined, all the killings stopped. Until then, e _verything_ pointed to you being Kira." He dropped his finger, despondent again. "But after two weeks, criminals began dying again. Based on that evidence, I can only conclude that Kira's power passes between people."

Light had been listening attentively, and his eyes widened at this last statement. "But if that's true, it'll be nearly impossible for us to catch Kira."

"Yes," agreed the detective gloomily. "That is why I am overwhelmed. Even if we catch someone who is under his control, they are likely to lose their powers and any memory of their crimes. So in the end, pursuing them becomes futile."

There was a beat as everyone in the room processed this pronouncement.

Light finally turned away, crossing his arms. "But at this point, we have no way of knowing if that is truly the case. Cheer up, would you?"

"Cheer up?" echoed L, as though the concept were foreign to him. Which, Jubilee thought to herself, it very well might be. "No, I'm sorry. I can't."

"Come on, Ryuzaki."

"It's probably better if I just stop trying so hard," L went on, ignoring Light. "By chasing Kira so desperately, we are only putting our live sat risk for nothing. Yes," he declared at last, bowing his head, "It's just a waste of time."

Jubilee tried to tell herself not to look at him, but her brain wouldn't listen. She looked from Light to L, and saw it once more…the gray haze, hanging heavily about the detective's shoulders. No beautiful light made its way through the dark cloud. This would have made her feel some relief, except that she found herself also feeling what she had felt that first night—compassion…concern…the desire to reach out to him, and…

Jubilee violently squashed down the feeling and ducked her head down. _Get a grip, woman,_ she told herself sternly, and managed to quell the insane notion to go over and hold the man in her arms. The man who had _arrested_ her and _locked her up_ for fifty days, she reminded herself reproachfully.

Meanwhile Light had quietly gotten to his feet. The yellow hue around him was a tad darker than usual. "Ryuzaki," he said solemnly.

The detective turned to look at him—and was met with a fist to the face.

In hindsight, Jubilee felt that she should've seen this coming. The darker yellow, the clenching of Light's fist, the way everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Light raised his fist and let it fly…they had all been indicators of what was coming. There was also the fact that irony was a force to be reckoned with, and if she had kept one fight from happening earlier, then wasn't it just like fate to bring about another one through some unexpected source?

But in the moment, it all happened too fast—and came as a complete surprise. Misa screeched as Light's knuckles made contact with L's jaw. Jubilee gaped, all other thoughts fleeing from her mind as it was assaulted with a senseless garble of excited colors and panicked sounds.

The effect of Light's punch was immediate. L went flying off the couch, which, in turn, sent Light flying off the couch too—because the idiots were handcuffed to each other. The two of them knocked over the coffee table in their connected flight across the room and into the opposite wall, which they smashed into before falling to the floor in an undignified heap.

Jubilee jumped up, her Wakahisa instincts suddenly kicking in all over again. Before she knew what she was doing she had run across the room, knelt down, and gathered L's crumpled form into her arms.

"L," she breathed, concern etched into her features as she worriedly ran a hand down his face, checking for cuts. "Are you alright?"

The man's pale jaw was starting to develop a delicate bruise. His gray eyes were wide and disoriented as they struggled to focus on the face of the woman holding him. Slowly, recognition and surprise registered on his face.

Jubilee's brain was catching up to her actions at an excruciatingly slow pace. Vague realization began to settle on her as she noticed just how close they were, her face inches from his. Between them, a soft, pink mist was rising. They were looking into each other's eyes, staring. A strange sound hummed in her ears like a bright, ringing echo. And her arms were holding on to him tight. Exactly what she had told herself _not_ to do.

She dropped him unceremoniously. His head hit the floor with an abrupt thud. The mist and the ringing stopped.

"Ouch!" he hissed, rubbing the back of his head.

Jubilee ignored him. Getting to her feet, she turned on her heel and retreated back to the other side of the room as quickly as possible, not sparing the detective on the floor a second glance. She hadn't meant to drop him. But she hoped she'd given him enough of a concussion to forget this whole incident anyway.

Behind her, the two men were getting to their feet.

"That really hurt," muttered L, before turning on Light. "What was that for?"

"For your attitude!" yelled Light. "What, you don't feel like doing anything anymore, just because your—your g _enius deduction_ was wrong, and I'm not Kira?"

L regarded the other man coolly. "Fine. Perhaps I phrased that wrong. I meant that it would be pointless for us to make a move."

"If we don't chase Kira, he'll never be caught." Light marched up to L, lifting him by the collar. Despite herself, Jubilee had turned back to watch, transfixed along with Misa at the scene that was unfolding. "If you're just going to give up," Light continued, voice rising, "Then what was the point of letting all those people die?" Small flares of orange curled up like flames of fire around the yellow glow that Light cast. "What was the point of locking me and Misa behind bars?"

Jubilee looked nervously between the two men, feeling more and more guilty as the tension rose between them. Perhaps she should've helped to diffuse the situation, rather than walked away.

L's gray haze had darkened until it had become like a storm cloud. His eyes were hidden beneath black wisps of hair that grazed Light's fingertips, still gripping him by the collar.

"I understand," he said in a low, calm voice. "But, whatever the reason…" He suddenly dropped low to the floor, bringing his foot up to meet Light's face in an unexpectedly well-executed maneuver. "An eye for an eye, my friend," he finished, just as his foot made impact.

 _ **What a time to be quoting Leviticus,**_ Jubilee heard a voice remark flippantly by her ear, just as the two handcuffed men went flying back across the room from the force of the kick, knocking over the couch along their way. They landed in a heap on the floor across from the two women. Misa made a small squeak and promptly fainted.

Jubilee turned on Hellenos. " _What?_ " she hissed under her breath, as the two men continued to shout at each other from the floor. "Yeah, what a time! Is this really the time to turn this into a Bible study? And what are you doing here?"

 _ **I'm always here,**_ said the angel flatly.

"No, I know that, I just mean…" Jubilee bit her lip. "I thought I wouldn't be seeing you for a while, after…you know."

The angel gave a quick sigh, then smiled and shrugged. _**Grace,**_ he said simply. _**Speaking of which...are you going to do something about those two?**_

"Me?" Jubilee glanced at the two men who were back on their feet and at each other's throats. "What, you gonna ask me to throw myself into a den of lions next? Who do you think I am, Daniel the prophet?"

Hellenos laughed heartily. Despite her own words, Jubilee felt a foreign sense of confidence inch its way into her heart at the angelic sound. Behind her the two men had broken apart and were conversing in lower, but still threatening voices.

"It's not my deduction that was wrong," she heard L saying quietly. "The fact is, I can say that Light Yagami is Kira and Misa Amane is the second Kira. But it won't be enough to solve the case. And that is why I am a little depressed. Is that so unreasonable?"

"Yes!" cried Light. "It's as if you won't be satisfied unless I'm Kira!"

Jubilee noticed that Hellenos' attention was still fully on her. He was smiling, and his usual heavenly glow was growing brighter than ever. From his expression of serenity it was as though there was no fight going on in the room whatsoever. And somehow, under his gaze, she could almost feel the same way.

 _ **You're not Daniel, you're not Jonah, and you're not Elijah,**_ he told her. _**You're exactly who the Father made you to be…Jubilee Jenkins.**_

The statement rang through her soul like a bell that drowned out all other sound. She looked up at him, the fight forgotten. Slowly, vaguely however, the image of L in her arms, gazing up at her with a look of confusion, crept to the forefront of her mind. When all this was over, she would still have to face that—him, and her feelings. But she didn't want to. All she wanted to do was run and avoid the situation for as long as she could.

"I'm afraid," she confessed quietly.

The angel reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. _**That's alright,**_ he said. _**So were they.**_

Slowly, in a daze, Jubilee turned to face the two men in front of her.

"There may be some truth to that," L was saying. "In fact, you're right…" His unblinking gaze became harder and his voice lowered. "I wanted you to be Kira."

Faster than his namesake, Light's fist was in L's face again.

Miraculously the detective held his ground against the punch. "As I said, an eye for an eye," he growled. "I'm a lot stronger than I look."

Jubilee saw him whirl and duck to execute another roundhouse kick. _Where did he learn_ _that_ _?_ she wondered. She started to take a slow step towards them—hopelessly, for what could she do? It turned out the guy really _was_ like Batman.

 _ **By the way…**_ said Hellenos' voice from behind her. _**Leviticus isn't the only place that phrase shows up.**_

She quickened her steps and suddenly, unexplainably, was between the two men in time to intercept the kick. L's eyes widened and he just barely managed to halt the trajectory of his foot inches from her face.

"That's Old Testament," she heard herself say calmly.

The two men stared at her like she was nuts. L still had his leg extended in the air; Light had an arm outstretched to block it. Both gaped at her uncomprehendingly.

"'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,'" she quoted. "Leviticus, chapter something verse whatever."

"Twenty-four twenty," corrected L, lowering his leg and giving her a wary look. "And also Exodus twenty-one twenty-four, and Deuteronomy nine—"

"Yeah, yeah." Jubilee waved a hand dismissively, cutting him off. "But there's a New Testament context. Remember? 'You have heard it said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you—"

"Resist not evil, but whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also," L finished. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you suggesting, Miss Amachi…that I literally turn the other cheek in this situation?"

"Well." She shrugged. "This might have been over a lot faster if you had." She glanced sidelong at Light. "If both of you had, really."

There was a beat as the two men digested this. The swell of tension in the room seemed to ebb. Jubilee was just starting to congratulate herself on a deed well done, when Light spoke up suddenly.

"If everyone in the world did that every single time, then there wouldn't be any justice," he said, putting a hand on Jubilee's shoulder and gently but firmly steering her aside. "Stay out of the way, Julie, or you'll get hurt. This doesn't concern you." He turned back to face L, raising his fists once more.

"Wait, what?" said Jubilee dumbly. She turned to Hellenos with a helpless look. _It was all going so well, too,_ she thought sourly. _What happened?_

Hellenos shrugged. _**Humans, you know. Free will.**_

With a groan, Jubilee turned back to watch as the two men continued where they had left off, throwing punches and kicks at each other. Strangely, she felt a lingering remnant of boldness left in her spirit, despite her agitation at this turn of events. Best to make use of it while it lasted. She cast a quick glance skywards. _Dad, need some help!_ she thought, and then blindly threw herself into the fray.

Fist came up to meet with foot just as Jubilee stepped between both. This time it seemed like there was no way the blows were going to miss her. She closed her eyes and braced herself, prepared to receive major damage to her cranium.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

Both men froze. Jubilee cracked an eye open. Hellenos stood before her, glowing brightly, a hand held up against each young man. Slowly their fists lowered. L dropped to the ground where the phone was ringing on a low end table. Picking up the phone between a thumb and forefinger, he answered. "Yes?" The garbled sound of Matsuda's voice spilled from the phone. He was yammering excitedly. Something about "Misa-Misa's" ratings in a popularity poll. "I see," said L, before dropping the phone back onto the receiver with a sharp click.

"What was that?" asked Light.

"Matsuda's acting stupid again," replied L simply. "Will you help me return the furniture to order, please?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," the younger man complied easily, and went over to join L. The two of them proceeded to right the overturned couch together, as well as the coffee table and a few of the potted plants.

Jubilee let out the breath that she had been holding and looked up at Hellenos, who still stood before her. She gave him a grateful grin. "You almost let them hit me," she accused mockingly under her breath.

He glanced down at her and smiled. _**But I didn't, did I?**_

* * *

 **A/N: So, it's time for a little confession. I confess that I have an old, unfinished Death Note fanfic floating around here somewhere on the interwebs, from nearly a whole decade ago, that I completely abandoned. Ignored all the messages I got through the years asking me about it, too. Yup, I know. I did that thing that we all hate. *cringe***

 **I anticipated revealing this fact at some point on here, because I may or may not have borrowed a few elements from that previous fic that may or may not start to seem obvious in this story. That is, assuming anyone on here ever even happened across that ancient fossil of a story. But, you never know.**

 **Before I finished this chapter, I thought the few similarities between the two stories might seem a little more obvious. But now that it is complete, it seems significantly different enough that I probably didn't need to say anything. However, I thought I ought to just say that I truly am sorry to all those readers who I (sort of) abandoned and (definitely) ignored. I can make no excuses to justify that, but I can at least explain what happened during all those years...long story short, life got crazy, things changed, I changed, and by the time life was no longer crazy anymore, I was such a considerably different person that my writing style and values could no longer jive with the things I had written as a young, dumb kid. Suffice to say, Jubilee's adjustment into a completely different kind of life and persona draws inspiration from my own experience.**

 **Speaking of Jubilee, I have this scrapped chapter where she tries to make a vague, indirect apology to L for how rudely she'd treated him in the past, and it's, like, a really pathetic attempt of an apology because she doesn't even say it to his face. I realize this apology of mine is probably just as bad, since there's no guarantee it will actually even reach anyone who used to read that old story because...yeah, I'm not gonna share the name of it. Sorry. XD But, maybe I'll share said scrapped chapter one day. And, uh, write a whole lot of updates to make up for it.**

 **Love you guys! =D**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Within ten minutes, Watari and Chief Soichiro Yagami had arrived at the door with first aid kits. Watari went to revive Misa, still passed out on the ground; and Soichiro headed towards his son. He stopped briefly by Jubilee's side, handing her a kit that contained bandages, dressing and an ice pack.

"Please attend to Ryuzaki, Miss Julie," he instructed in his usual serious tone that broached no protest.

Jubilee tried to anyway. "But—!" she began. The chief had already walked away.

Jubilee watched as he proceeded to attend to Light, bandaging his cuts and applying ointment to his bruises. She glanced down at the items he had dropped into her hands and grimaced.

Great. Just great.

With tremendous force of will she wiped her face of emotion, turned, and marched towards L. The detective was seated quietly on the floor, one knee up and the other leg outstretched. Without a word she knelt down, opened her kit, and proceeded to clean the cuts on his face without making eye contact with him.

L said nothing during her ministrations, but she could feel his eyes on her. She noticed him bravely retain his silence even under the sting of the alcoholic wipes, which she knew hurt, if the small lightning streaks of red spiking out from under his gray haze were any indication. Forcefully she pushed down any feelings of compassion that tried to well their way to the surface of her heart, and proceeded to apply bandages to his face with aloof precision.

Finally she held the ice pack to his jaw, which was starting to take on a similar color to his under eye circles. "Here," she ordered. "Hold this in place."

He complied wordlessly, his fingers brushing hers ever so slightly as he took over holding the ice pack. Jubilee restrained the urge to flinch, and with a great effort of will managed to succeed. Giving a quick glance at the line over his head, she took note of the fact that the gesture had been done on accident, not as some sort of manipulated test of her reaction. She started to relax.

"Thank you," he said quietly, the line over his head still intact.

Jubilee made the mistake of looking at him then. For the briefest instant her eyes made contact with his and she saw a cool, calculating expression appear in them. She looked away and quickly stood up. Just as she was about to turn away she remembered that she needed to reply.

"Right. No problem," she said as indifferently as she could, and then took her leave of him.

As she walked away, she closed her eyes. A foreboding sense of dread formed in the pit of her stomach.

 _He knows._

* * *

"He doesn't know," Jubilee muttered to herself back in front of her workstation. "There's no way. You're just being paranoid, Julie."

She had left Misa's room and returned downstairs before the others. The only other workers in the room with her were Matsuda and Aizawa, the latter of whom, as usual, graciously ignored her mutterings to herself.

"He doesn't know," she repeated to herself. "Stop psyching yourself out."

"Uh…Miss Julie?" asked Matsuda tentatively.

"What?" she snapped, turning on the officer like she was ready to decapitate him.

Matsuda raised his hands in self-defense. "Uh, nothing!" he squeaked. "I mean, that is…are you alright?"

"Peachy." She turned back to her computer and continued muttering to herself. After a pause she inclined her head towards him, begrudgingly grumbled, "Thanks," and continued her mutterings. Matsuda inched away.

Hellenos appeared by her shoulder. _**Must you scare the poor man so?**_

She turned on him warily. "Why? You gonna try to set me up with _him,_ too?"

Hellenos' eyes narrowed ever so slightly. _**I**_ _ **? I have done no such thing. Matchmaking is a purely human sport; not the business of angels. Please be accountable for your own thoughts, feelings and actions.**_

" _Accountable?_ This isn't _my_ fault!" She looked sidelong at him. "Fine, it's not your fault either," she acquiesced crossly.

Hellenos' tone remained stern. _**Who are you blaming then? God?**_

Jubilee stubbornly refused to answer for a minute. _I didn't ask for this,_ she thought at last.

 _ **You asked to see what the Father sees.**_

 _This is_ _not_ _what I meant!_ Jubilee seethed.

 _ **Regardless, you asked, and He answered. You are now capable of seeing everyone the way that He sees them. Your resulting feelings, however, are your own.**_

This stopped Jubilee short. Up until this point, despite acknowledging her feelings, she had not been willing to be held accountable for them. She had been unwilling to treat them as feelings of her own; but rather labeled them as being somehow forced on her. To be stripped of the excuse of being victim to some kind of heavenly brainwashing left her feeling bare, vulnerable, and disoriented.

"Miss Amachi," spoke a smooth voice by her ear.

Jubilee jumped and nearly fell out of her chair, whirling about in wide-eyed fear to face L, who had returned along with Light, Chief Yagami, and Watari. He eyed her panicked response with a measured look.

"A word, please," he said, beckoning with one pale finger.

Reason fled her brain. She could do nothing but rise to her feet in a daze and follow him like a sheep being led to slaughter. He led her to a corner of the room, where a green chaise lounge was positioned in front of a glass coffee table.

"Sit," he offered politely, gesturing to the chaise lounge.

She sat.

He perched himself in a crouch at an appropriate distance beside her. For a moment he simply stared at her in silence. Jubilee stared down at the green velvety material beneath her fingers, unable to meet his gaze. She couldn't sense Hellenos anywhere.

At last he spoke. "There is a matter that has risen to my attention, which has become necessary for us to discuss."

Jubilee said nothing. Her palms were sweaty against the velvet cushions, but her brain was too numb to even feel dread at the moment. Somehow she knew what was coming, without knowing what was coming.

"The matter of which I speak," continued L quietly, "Is the attraction that you have developed towards me."

Time felt like it had stopped. Slowly Jubilee raised her eyes to glance at the other members of the task force. They had heard nothing and were paying no attention to her, which should have given her relief, except that she was too paralyzed with shock to feel it. Surreally she watched as the other task force members all seemed to move and talk in slow motion from their workstations, as if they were worlds away, and she was watching them through a television set. On a couch. Next to L. Who had just called her out.

She turned to him, still numb. "Excuse me?"

His eyes held a thoroughly neutral and detached expression. "Naturally you will feel the need to put on a charade, Miss Amachi; but allow me to save you the time and discomfort of having to lie. Earlier I observed the increased rate of the number of breaths you took per minute while in physical contact with me, as well as the dilation of your pupils whenever we were in close proximity. This, in conjunction with your inability to focus lately, are all physiological factors pointing to a developed infatuation; and is the only logical explanation for your recent erratic behavior, as opposed to a spike in hormones due to premenstrual syndrome as you claim, which—due to the current date not matching up with the previous time frames that you have displayed the usual characteristics of a female undergoing her cycle—I can only conclude to have been a false statement."

Jubilee's brain whirled to keep up and she stared, frozen with mortification. There was probably not a single sentence he had just uttered that wasn't completely and utterly humiliating.

"As such," the pale man went on without missing a beat, "I find it necessary to discourage you from further allowance of such a disposition, as it is severely hindering your work on the case."

And _that_ sentence took the cake.

Slowly, Jubilee began to regain control of her slack facial muscles as the cognitive processes in her brain recovered from their shock and caught up to what had just happened. She set her jaw firmly and her eyes hardened.

"Understood, boss," she said coldly. She turned to look the other way and waited for him to leave. He didn't, which only made her feel angrier.

"Your comfort and wellbeing are important to the case, Miss Amachi," he said softly. "As such, you can be assured of my utmost discretion on the subject. We need not speak of this again."

"And _you_ can be assured that I have no desire to, nor any intention to let it get in the way of work." Jubilee's voice sounded harsh in her own ears. When he still didn't leave, she added, in a frigid tone, "Will that be all?"

L gazed at her a moment longer. "Yes, Miss Amachi," he said at last, then got up and quietly padded off.

Jubilee sat alone on the couch. Around her the sound of quiet voices came back into her awareness as the pounding rush of blood faded in her ears. She took a deep breath and cursed to herself.

The L word truly was a four-letter word.

* * *

"I hate him," she grumbled into her pillow that night, when she was at last alone.

Hellenos shifted from his post at the headboard of her bed, where he took up a sentinel position each night. _**Oh?**_ he murmured unconcernedly. _**I thought the boy quite effectively proved the exact opposite.**_

Jubilee felt her cheeks flare with heat, and felt thankful for the dark cover of night. Not because of Hellenos—she was long past the mode of caring about appearances with him, since they made no difference to him anyway—but because she knew security cams hung in every corner of her bedroom. The bathroom was her only private sanctuary, and there she went to change and vent loudly to Hellenos whenever needed. Though she had heard that this luxury wasn't afforded to everybody…apparently Misa, being the suspected second Kira, had security cams in every nook and cranny of her living quarters. Jubilee shuddered at the thought. It was no wonder Misa made the accusations against L that she did. On the other hand though, the girl _was_ more used to being on camera anyway. It seemed she was less bothered by the lack of privacy as she was by the restrictions on getting to do whatever she wanted, particularly when it came to seeing Light.

Hellenos' voice broke through her brooding. _**So which is it? Do you like him or do you hate him?**_

Jubilee groaned and pulled her covers over her head. "Both," she muttered. The admission was a begrudging one. She was still grappling with the reality of her feelings, and didn't like the fact that they were there at all. Worse, that they remained there even after the humiliating rejection L had given her.

How could he just call her out like that, so bluntly? The man was an unfeeling prototype of a human who was utterly void of humanity. Dad must have downright forgotten to install sensitivity and tact into that one, as much as a blundering technician might forget to put the necessary drives in a computer. For a computer was exactly what L was like; cold and calculating, with a brilliant mind, but entirely void of empathy. _How_ on earth could she have fallen for someone like that? She hadn't wanted to; still didn't want to. She hadn't even wanted anything in return, simply for these insane notions in her head and her heart to go away. Yet even so, she'd gotten rejected anyway. It was utterly unfair.

 _ **Jubilee…**_ said Hellenos' voice warningly.

She glanced up over the covers at the angel. He was starting to dim slightly.

 _ **Watch your thoughts,**_ he said, crossing his arms.

She threw off her covers. "What?" she burst out, suddenly not caring if anyone was listening to her on surveillance. "Everything that I'm thinking is true!"

 _ **If that were the case, then this—**_ Hellenos gestured at his fading form, _**Wouldn't be happening.**_

Jubilee scowled at him. "So _you're_ going to leave me now too, for being cranky?"

Hellenos frowned. _**You know that I never leave you.**_ When Jubilee continued to give him a stubborn glare, he added solemnly, _**It is the thoughts that you allow yourself to think which isolate you, Jubilee. Never others, never me…and never the Father.**_

Jubilee opened her mouth to retort but then stopped, suddenly aware of something. Hellenos nodded, knowing her thoughts even more quickly then she could make sense of them. _**Yes,**_ he said. _**With your thoughts you choose to believe either the reality that you are accepted...or the illusion that you were rejected.**_

Jubilee looked down, conflicting thoughts warring in her brain. Part of her somehow knew, deep down in her spirit, that what Hellenos was saying was true. But the other part of her didn't understand it at all. "But I _was_ rejected," she whispered. _Not that it should matter, s_ he thought stubbornly to herself.

Hellenos sighed. _**Were you?**_

A flood of images entered Jubilee's mind. L's eyes, cool and apathetic, as he discouraged her feelings for him. Alexa Marie and her giggling cronies at church, and the curious eyes of many others in the congregation. Her parents' graves. The black, gaping void of hell.

She shivered, and the realization of a connection slowly formed in her mind. "You asked me what I was afraid of, earlier," she said softly. "I didn't know, at the time, but now I see…I _am_ afraid. Have been, for a long time. That—that when I love someone…I will inevitably lose them."

The final image of a bright, otherworldly face far above her, becoming farther and farther away as she fell in a swift, unstoppable plunge back to the life on earth that she didn't want, came to the forefront of her mind's eye. She blinked back tears. Her parents…her friends…Alyssa…Pastor Andrews and his wife Susan…Meirin, Christine and everybody back at Wakahisa…even heaven and all of its beauty and promises…all of them had been taken from her. And the last one had unexpectedly been the most painful loss of all.

 _Even worse…some of those were my own fault._ Hellenos had been right. It was her own fears that had caused her to reject the people around her before they could have the chance to reject her, and her own selfish thinking that had driven her to thoughtlessly betray others and constantly push them away. Was that why she had been forced to return to life on earth? Was that why she hadn't been allowed to stay in the place where she wanted to be, with her parents, and with the only One who had every made her feel truly safe and complete? Because she wasn't good enough to be there?

She became aware of a faint shimmer at her side. Hellenos had knelt down beside the bed to be eye level with her.

 _ **Life is a gift, not a punishment, dear child,**_ he told her gently, brushing away the tears that had fallen down her cheek. _**The greatest gift of love that there is, in fact. That's why He gave His for you…so that you could have new life.**_

Jubilee ducked her head and held back a small sob, feeling suddenly emotional. "But I don't deserve it," she choked out.

 _ **No one does,**_ said Hellenos, giving her a small pat on the head. _**If they did, it wouldn't truly be love, now would it?**_

Jubilee looked up at him, confused.

 _ **Come now. Everyone has heard it said, haven't they? True love is unconditional.**_

Jubilee had heard it said, many times. But though she had always known the mantra in her head, this was the first time it was starting to make sense in her heart.

 _ **What's more, Jubilee,**_ Hellenos was saying, _**What is true…is never truly lost.**_

Jubilee mulled over these words in her head. What was true was never truly lost? What w _as_ truth?

 _I am the Way, the Truth and the Life_ , a small voice whispered through her heart. Suddenly her mind's eye opened up with vivid images from the past, present and future—her resurrected father, bright and glowing as he greeted her at heaven's gates; William and Susan hundreds of thousands of miles away in the states praying together for her; and a familiar face, shining and ineffable, smiling at her as it reached out a warm, radiant hand to cup her face for the first time.

 _You'll see me again, Jubilee,_ her father had said.

 _There is nothing you, or anyone else, has ever done, that can't be forgiven and redeemed_ , Pastor Andrews had told her. And she knew, from the look in his and Susan's eyes that she had only ever seen from her own parents, that they had truly believed that about her.

The small voice whispered again to her, a short statement that she recognized and knew well. _I am always with you,_ it said, like it had so many times before over the last two years. And even long before that, she realized—long before she had learned how to hear it at all.

"Love," Jubilee whispered to herself, feeling an unexplainable awe and sense of understanding. "Love is never lost."

Hellenos smiled broadly. _**Well said, child.**_

Jubilee looked up into the eyes of her guardian angel and, at that moment, saw in his face the faces of everyone on earth and in heaven who had ever loved her, and who had never stopped loving her. In that moment she knew and understood, without a doubt, that she was completely and wholly accepted. And that _this_ was truth.

The image of L's eyes floated to the forefront of her mind again, from the moments before he had taken his leave of her. She saw now what she had not allowed herself to see then—that there _had_ been empathy in them. _We need not speak of this again,_ he had said. And before that, _Allow me to save you the time and discomfort of having to lie._ Contrary to what she wanted to believe, she knew now that he had said these things with the intention to lessen her hurt, not increase it. It was the same reason why he had pulled her aside rather than called her out in front of everyone.

She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. Thoughts warred in her mind and emotions battled against one another in her heart. Despite the truth, it didn't hurt any less when the ones you loved didn't love you back…or died…or kicked you out of heaven.

 _ **Perspective, child,**_ sighed Hellenos.

"This is so crazy," she muttered, rubbing her temples. Whoever thought that she would develop feelings for someone like L? Someone so…so blatantly abnormal? Yet, at last, she could admit to herself that she had. For no good reason. Then again, she had to admit that L probably had _some_ redeeming qualities at least. How else could she have fallen for him?

 _ **That's not quite it. Well, it is, but it isn't.**_

Jubilee stared up at him. "What?"

 _ **You're at war with yourself, Jubilee.**_ Hellenos tapped his temple and his chest for emphasis. _**One side of you is looking for reasons, wanting to analyze and make sense of everything. To justify yourself. But that isn't love. It may be the world's kind of love, but it isn't truth. Truth doesn't need to be justified. It just is. The other side of you…**_ He reached out a finger, placing it against her sternum, _**Has known truth all along.**_ He let his finger drop. _**You must choose which side you want to be on.**_

Jubilee gazed down at the spot over her heart where his finger had been. At this point, she couldn't deny that she had feelings for L. But she also couldn't deny that she deeply resented him for it. She _was_ at war with herself—and the two sides locked in battle were the ability to trust and love and the desire to blame and hate. The right answer seemed so obvious; and yet, she felt powerless to choose it.

"I can't," she murmured miserably. "I'm sorry. I want to, but I just—can't." She stared into the dark nothingness, feeling the empty defeat of that one, overwhelming word. "I can't willfully change how I think," she whispered, then sighed. "Maybe I just need time."

Hellenos said nothing for a moment, as if he were listening for something; then gave her a gracious smile. _**Luckily, the One who lives in eternity is very patient.**_ He gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. _**Don't worry, Jubilee…what you think is impossible now, is more possible than you know. In time you will see that.**_

Jubilee gave a half-hearted smile. "I can't honestly say that I believe that right now. But…I'm willing to change."

His smile broadened. _**That's all that it takes.**_

* * *

 **A/N: So I've been managing my time in a new way lately and it seems to be working well, seeing as how I'm back to updating at least once per week. Yippee! On another note, anyone interested in beta-ing? I've never looked into the system for it on here, but I have a whim to possibly give it a go. Just thought I'd throw that out there.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Jubilee slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning and wavering between wakefulness and wistful dreams. She dreamt of her parents swinging her around as a little girl, of Alyssa laughing and resplendent in a wedding dress, of a little boy with wild black hair and wide gray eyes standing before a set of gates, listening to church bells ring. Her consciousness floated between different moments in space and time, and during the frequent but brief moments that she woke during the night, her mind felt confused and disoriented between what was memory and what was fantasy. At one point she fell into one particularly clear, vivid dream…

 _The pale, black-haired young man sat crouched before his computer. Watari stood beside him, speaking. On the other side of him laid his suspect, sprawled out on the desk, asleep._

 _A hundred thoughts simultaneously processed themselves through his head in the space of a second; one being deferential acknowledgment of how patiently Light Yagami took to not having a bed for the last few weeks, another being recognition of what Watari was saying to him, and about seventy being directly related to the Kira case._

 _Something that Watari said pricked his attention, drawing up caution._

 _"I'm not sure what you mean, Watari," he said smoothly, his voice betraying no emotion. "I view Miss Amachi with the utmost respect."_

 _"But does_ _she_ _know that?" insisted the old man._

 _"If she does not then the fault is hers, not mine, for I have made every effort to be courteous, professional and even considerate of her wellbeing."_

 _"That isn't behavior to be applauded, my boy, it's the very basics of humanity."_

 _"With all due respect, why are we discussing this subject?"_

 _Watari sighed. "I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but—"_

 _"There is nothing 'going on' between the two us other than a respectful and professional working relationship." A pause. "Ask her yourself."_

 _"She hasn't been the same since you spoke alone with her today. What on earth did you do to the poor girl?"_

 _If Watari could have seen under the camouflage of dark hair hiding L's face, he might have detected the slightest wince crease the detective's brow at this accusation. As it was, however, the young man's voice remained impassive. "I did nothing. Simply spoke about a topic regarding the case that required some discretion."_

 _The old man's voice took on a fatherly, instructive tone. "Well, did you remember to communicate with consideration of the other person's feelings and with some measure of social tact, as we've discussed?"_

 _L lowered his head and his hair fell over his face even more. "I tried my best, Watari," he said softly. "I tried my best."_

Jubilee tossed irritably in her sleep, her consciousness meandering towards wakefulness before she managed to find a more comfortable position and plunge back into deep, blessed slumber. Her mind drifted for some moments in dreamless sleep, before plunging into yet another clear dream…

 _An hour had passed. Light was awake now and back at work in front of his computer, even though it was still the dead of night. He had only managed to sleep for a few hours, his mind still caught up with all the events of the day, including the fight and what L had revealed about Kira. Tapping busily at his computer mouse, his fingers drummed against the top of the desk as he surveyed the most recent kill statistics onscreen. Beside him L sat brooding silently. Watari had retired for the night._

 _Suddenly he sat up. "Ryuzaki," he began, a subdued excitement in his voice. "I know you may not be feeling up to it, but…take a look at this. It_ _can't_ _be coincidence."_

 _L looked up warily. "What is it?"_

 _Light pointed onscreen at a list he had just highlighted. It contained names of the recently deceased. "All of them were prominent Japanese businessmen," he explained. "CEOs whose companies are leaders in their respective industries. In just over a month, they all died of heart attacks."_

 _L had wheeled his chair closer. He stared at Light's computer screen._

 _"As expected," Light continued, "There's been a general downturn in the market._ _But_ _," And here he made some rapid clicks and pulled up a chart, "There's been one company that has been the exception. Yotsuba." The chart was a stock market graph, detailing the recent rise in profits for the company called the Yotsuba Group. "In other words," Light went on, "These deaths have all worked in Yotsuba's favor. Looking back, there've been thirteen similar deaths in the past three months. Thoughts?" He looked pointedly at L and, before the detective could speak, added, "Based on this, I can only conclude that Kira is supporting Yotsuba."_

 _"Yes," said L slowly, thumbing the side of his mouth in thought as he continued to stare at the graph. "But…if what you're saying is true, we must assume that punishing criminals is not_ _this_ _Kira's intent."_

 _"Right. It's just a diversion from the fact that he's actually killing people for the benefit of this company." Light turned to L then, and a small grin came upon his face when he saw the intense look that was on L's. "So…are you feeling a bit more motivated now?"_

* * *

Jubilee stumbled into the main room the next morning, groggy and disgruntled from a night of restless sleep and fitful dreams that she couldn't quite remember. Stepping out of the elevator with her were Chief Yagami and Officer Mogi, who had been stern and silent during the entire ride down. As the elevator doors closed behind them, they were met with an ecstatic greeting from Matsuda.

"Hey—Chief!" cried the younger officer as he bounded over. "Oh, you too, Mogi and Miss Julie. I've got some great news." He thrust bundles of documents into their hands. "This is amazing!" he continued to babble. "I'm not even sure how he figured it out, but Light has the theory that Kira is somehow involved with the Yotsuba group." He gestured at the evidence on the print outs that they were holding, then grinned at them. "Can you believe it?"

The three newcomers looked stunned. "Yotsuba?" echoed the Chief.

Jubilee stared at the charts and lists of names in her hands as she processed this information, a strange sense of déjà vu coming over her. This all looked familiar somehow.

"I see," she heard the Chief muttering. "It all makes sense." He strode forward, raising his voice to make his next words heard to everybody. "I just spoke with the director of NPA." Heads turned in his direction at this announcement. "It seems," he continued, "That Kira has offered to bribe a number of politicians. As long as the NPA agrees not to pursue him anymore, he promises not to lay a hand on any of them. And…" He paused briefly, then declared more quietly, "And they accepted. The police have caved in to him."

General alarm swept through the room. There was a dark anxiety that crept in alongside it which made Jubilee feel uneasy.

Chief Yagami went on. "Mogi and I have already made up our minds on this matter. Aizawa, Matsuda." He turned to the two other officers. "If you wish to continue working on this case…you will have to hand in your letter of resignation to the NPA. Just as Mogi and I are going to do."

The two other officers gaped at the Chief. He gave them a look tinged with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But, like it or not…you cannot pursue Kira as a member of the police force anymore."

Jubilee stared along with the others, but for more reasons than just the shock of this statement. All around her, the colors and lights hovering over people sputtered and shook. Aizawa, in particular, had a cloud of both light and dark mist rise up from his shoulders that started to crumble slowly while ripping itself in half, as though from invisible seams. The entire display effectively made the man look like he—or his world—was shattering.

"Wha—wait," he stuttered. "Ho—hold on a second, Chief—"

"They made it quite clear." Soichiro Yagami's voice was firm. "If you continue to work with L, you will be fired. That's all there is to it."

Matsuda's eyes were round. "So then, Chief, you—you're gonna..."

"Yes." Soichiro's expression was grave but determined. "In a few hours, I will no longer be your chief." This proclamation was met with grim silence, before Soichiro added in a softer tone, "We all have our own lives, however. So think it over carefully."

"That's true, Chief!" cried Matsuda. "Especially if you've got a family to support!"

Beside him, the mist around Aizawa took on a dark, dismal tinge of red. "Yes," he whispered. Only Jubilee heard him. She felt like she should say something, do something, to comfort the man falling apart beside her. But she had no idea what, and could only stand there stupidly, feeling useless.

L's voice suddenly cut through the bleak mood of the room. "If you want my opinion," he said calmly, "You'd be better off as police officers."

This statement was met with shocked and indignant silence.

"I was alone when I started this case," L went on, not turning around to face them from where he sat crouched in his office chair. "And although I am grateful to all of you for staying with me as long as you have, I know that I can complete the job alone."

"Ryuzaki," Light interrupted. He glowed a bright yellow. "As long as I'm alive, you won't be working alone." He raised his handcuffed arm, as though in evidence of this statement, but then added, "You have my word on that."

"Hm. True," stated L impassively. "Since Light is working with me under house arrest until I catch Kira, I suppose I won't be alone after all. But, as I said." He flicked his head towards the remaining task force members, while still keeping his back on them. "I think the rest of you should remain police officers."

Jubilee saw a line form over L's head and snap in two. She narrowed her eyes. What was the man plotting now? She opened her mouth to say something but Soichiro beat her to it.

"When you first contacted us, you said that you would need the help of the police in order to solve this case," he protested.

"With all due respect," replied L, "There is a big difference between the help of the police as an organization, and that of two or three civilians." His tone held no accusation, but no sympathy either. "As you said, the police have made their position clear—they don't want to catch Kira. So let's just leave it that."

"It's true that we may not be of much use to you," Soichiro acquiesced. "But we are all personally involved in this. _All_ of us have risked our lives to catch Kira." He took a step towards L. "Doesn't that give us the right to decide whether we stay here or return to the police force?"

Jubilee was unable to contain herself anymore. "Yes, or are you just going to make the choice for them, like you did for me?" she asked acidly. Bitterly she remembered how he had manipulated her into being on the case—and thereby into becoming attracted to him—against her will.

"Hmm," L intoned from his chair. "Fair point." He didn't clarify whether he was speaking to the chief or to Jubilee. "Then, by all means…" He turned slightly so that only the profile of his chin was visible to them beneath his hair. "Make your decision."

"But Chief—wait!" Aizawa's voice cried out. "If you quit your job with the police force, you would be unemployed." His eyes were wild with anxious indecision. "Even if we do catch Kira…what will you do after that?"

"After that?" Soichiro thought to himself for a moment. "I suppose…that I would have to dust off my resume, and find a new job."

There was a beat as Aizawa and Matsuda both stared wide-eyed at him; whether in admiration or disbelief or both, it was hard for Jubilee to say. For her part, she stared at him because of the gust of soft blue that had puffed out from him at his words. It made him look surreally…noble, somehow.

Matsuda, suddenly inspired, cried, "Count me in! I'm going to quit the police and chase Kira too, Chief! I do still have my undercover job as Misa-Misa's manager after all…" He stuck a finger in the air like a light bulb had gone off in his head, and declared cheerfully, "That can become my real job once we solve this case! Besides…if I stayed on as a police officer, I would feel like a total traitor."

The mist around Aizawa took on an even darker tinge. Jubilee shot Matsuda a reproachful look.

Soichiro snapped, "Think before you open your mouth, Matsuda."

Matsuda looked immediately chagrinned, casting a nervous glance Aizawa's way. The other police officer was staring at the ground.

"Is there—" Aizawa took a deep breath, and continued, eyes still downcast, "Is there any way I could…keep my job, and still help you in my spare time?

"There isn't." L's reply was short and immediate. He had turned his back to them again and was nonchalantly eating out of a bowl of cherries on his desk. "If you remain a police officer, then please do not return here."

Aizawa whipped his head up, aghast. "But you know that I wouldn't leak any information!"

"Yes. Because I certainly won't be sharing any of it." L spit out a cherry pit before gulping down two more and continuing in an emotionless voice, "You are free to pursue Kira on your own if you wish to. But—" He waved a hand dismissively in their direction, his back still to them. "I don't see how it's fair to your family, to burden them by giving up your livelihood in order to continue this."

"Yes," said Soichiro. He turned to Aizawa. "No one here would blame you for quitting."

"Right!" agreed Matsuda, eager to make up for his earlier tactless blunder. "We all understand why you've got to do this."

Jubilee tried to give Aizawa a look of understanding, but he didn't see it. Instead he burst out, red-faced, "But Chief has a family, too!"

Soichiro put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Our situations are completely different, Aizawa."

Aizawa looked to the ceiling and cursed, clenching his fists. "To leave now…after all we've been through," he whispered, then raised his voice, "I said that I was prepared to die if that's what it took to catch Kira and I meant it! What kind of friend would I be to Ukita if I quit now?"

Jubilee stepped forward hesitantly, putting a tentative hand on his other shoulder and wishing she could do something more for him, but feeling helpless to do so. What good was this sight of hers, when she could see the pain of all the people around her, but didn't know what to do or how to fix it? This wasn't like Wakahisa, where she could pat a child on the head and give him or her a cookie. This was the real, grown-up world, with real, grown-up problems that were too big for her to solve. Distantly she realized that she had not seen Hellenos during this entire conversation.

Aizawa ignored both her and the chief at his side, too engrossed in his turmoil. She thought back to his earlier words and briefly wondered to herself who Ukita was. Suddenly, images of a young and clean-cut looking Japanese policeman, working alongside Aizawa, entered Jubilee's brain. A vision of the man falling to the ground outside a set of glass doors, his last breath rattling out as a sudden heart attack took hold of him, left her eyes stinging with unexpected tears. She stared at the emotions that were visibly erupting from Aizawa before her very eyes, and suddenly she understood. This man had lost his best friend to Kira.

"I—I'm so sorry, Aizawa," she whispered, not knowing what else she could say. The words felt useless and inadequate coming from her lips. Why couldn't she be more like her old friend Christine? "It'll be…I'm sure it will all…" She faltered, struggling to find a comforting statement she could say that she actually believed in. There was none.

Watari's voice suddenly sounded across the overhead speakers, saving her from the attempt.

"Ryuzaki," said the old man's voice. It sounded stern. "Earlier on in the investigation, you specifically instructed me that if any task force member were to lose their job under any circumstances, that I should make preparations to ensure that their families' financial future was secure. If you recall, our trust was set aside for that very purpose." His tone took on a distinct tinge of reproof as he continued, with feigned casualness, "I'm a little curious as to why you are withholding this information."

Everyone turned to gawk at L. Jubilee wanted to slap herself as a sudden, stupid wave of affection for the detective hit her. So he did care, the jerk. She shoved the feeling down violently. But he was horrendous at executing it, and still an enormous jerk. _And why did he have to put poor Aizawa through such pain?_ she thought to herself angrily as waves of resentment overtook her.

"This is not the time or place, Watari," said L, his own voice equally disapproving as his mentor's.

"Ah. I'm sorry, sir." Watari didn't sound sorry.

"No way!" Matsuda cried. "So all this time we had nothing to worry about?" He turned to Aizawa, looking gleeful. "There you go, Aizawa. Isn't that great news?" The happy grin dissolved off his face when he caught the other officer's expression.

The mist around Aizawa had turned entirely red and was pulsing violently. The energy emanating off of it hit Jubilee like a tidal wave, making her feel suddenly woozy and lose her footing. She staggered forward slightly as though struck. Nobody noticed.

"Ryuzaki," began the man in a low, deceptively calm voice. "I assume that this was some kind of test to determine how committed I was to the task force."

"It's not like that, Aizawa," the former chief placated the other man quickly. "Ryuzaki is simply not the type to say things directly, I'm sure."

"Yeah," interjected Matsuda, as eager as his superior to diffuse his colleague's rapidly escalating anger. "That's right. He didn't mean it like that."

"No." L's voice interrupted both of the men who had sprung to his defense. "I _was_ testing you. I wanted to see which one you would choose."

The others turned to gape at the detective. Jubilee, still feeling dizzy, just glared. The line over his head remained intact this time. _Why am I not surprised?_ she thought bitterly to herself.

"Ryuzaki—" began Soichiro.

"Fine then." Aizawa's voice had resolve in it now and was harder than steel. "If I wasn't sure before, I am now." He turned to his colleagues, a scowl on his face. "Let's face it. I wasn't able to decide right away like you guys. I was even leaning towards going back to the police."

"Come on, Aizawa—" Matsuda began nervously.

"No!" shouted Aizawa. "I quit! Now I know for sure. I've always hated Ryuzaki. I've always hated his way of doing things. I—"

"That's too bad," L's voice interrupted calmly. "Because I've always liked you, Aizawa."

Aizawa practically shook with fury. The red around him became fringed with black. Jubilee's own vision blackened for a split second and she thought that she might pass out. She grasped at a wall for support.

"I also _hate,_ " Aizawa fumed, "That you always have to have the last word." He turned and strode swiftly to the exit. "That's it. I'm out of here."

"Thank you for everything." L's words followed the man out the door.

The doors closed with a bang. A long, somber silence ensued.

Jubilee took long, deep breaths and tried to recover from the waves of Aizawa's anger and everyone else's shock. Slowly she begun to take wobbly steps towards L, though she wasn't sure why or what she would say. Hellenos was still nowhere in sight. Dimly she was aware that the red and black cloud surrounding Aizawa had stayed behind, and was now stealthily latching itself onto her. But she ignored it, coming to a stop beside L's chair. The man seemed to stiffen for a second at her presence, before slowly inclining his head a scant centimeter in her direction. His eyes, though, remained focused on the screen of his computer. The sight of this made something tip the scales inside of her and snap.

"Do you— _ever_ care—about anyone besides yourself?" she seethed, suddenly overcome by a wellspring of rage that wasn't entirely her own. The overwhelming feeling flooded her senses and became mingled with her own personal resentment towards the man sitting in front of her. "Or are you just completely incapable of even _trying_ to take others into consideration?" she continued, voice rising. Vaguely she realized that this allegation was completely untrue and that she knew it, given what Watari had just revealed about the trust L had set aside, and given a different sort of knowing from somewhere deep in her spirit, which she couldn't explain. At the moment however, she felt powerless to stop the tide of incoherent rage sweeping over her.

She turned on her heel and stalked off towards the elevators. Matsuda called after her.

"Miss Julie!" he cried frantically. "Are you—you're not going to leave the case too, are you?"

"She can't," L's voice calmly answered before Jubilee could turn around. "She isn't a police officer, and she doesn't have the choice to."

Jubilee whirled back on him. "Oh, I don't, do I?" She was seeing red in all senses of the phrase and it literally blinded her. Unable to see L clearly through the haze, she did her best to shoot a withering glare at where she thought he was sitting. "Let me make something very clear," she continued, pointing a finger in his general direction. "I _do_ choose to stay on the case. But it certainly isn't for _you_ , and it isn't because yousay so. I'm simply going to go and work in the same room as someone who actually cares about how people feel. If you need me, call Watari." She turned and stomped off.

A wave of sudden regret hit her almost as soon as she had left the room. By the time she was in the elevator and more than halfway up to the top floor, the cloud of red and black had abruptly dissipated, to be replaced by a haze of bleak blues and dull, guilt-ridden grays. She put her head in her hands, thinking back to her last words—and how they had been so much more applicable to her past self than to L. Dimly, vaguely, the sudden remembrance of a dream from the night before cut through her thoughts.

 _I tried my best, Watari,_ L had said, with a genuine remorse that could not be hidden from her sight no matter how much she wanted it to be. _I tried my best._

"But I didn't," she whispered, and suddenly wanted to cry.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"I lost my temper," Jubilee confessed sulkily.

She was seated beside Watari at a computer in the upstairs security room, staring at footage of employees entering and exiting the Yotsuba Corporation building. The older man had graciously offered her a chair and a pot of coffee when she entered, making no mention of the incident downstairs other than to offer pulling up public security footage of Yotsuba for her. She had gratefully accepted all three of these things without any further comment. At the moment, she was glaring at the repetitive cycle of spirits and humans—the latter of whom were mostly dusted with smoggy-colored residue, something she was used to seeing in businessmen—walking in and out of the building, and lamenting the fact that it all looked the same to her. Nothing stood out.

Part of the problem was that there were far too many people and she didn't know what she was looking for. As such, it was entirely possible that she was missing subtle clues left and right. For all she knew, one of the smoggy colored businessmen could have been Kira and she wouldn't have noticed amongst all the foot traffic. There wasn't even anything among the vague forms of angels and demons milling around that stood out to her.

If L were here, he would be able to tell her what to look for. That is, if she had the guts to apologize and ask for his help, rather than give him the cold shoulder.

"It happens to the best of us, my dear," said Watari placidly.

Jubilee reflected upon this statement moodily. "But I let someone else's anger feed off of my own. That wasn't fair to Ryuzaki, despite what he did."

Hellenos appeared on the other side of her. She inclined her head slightly his way in acknowledgment and in apology. _Sorry I lost sight of you for a minute there,_ she thought to him sadly.

 _ **It's as the old man says. It happens.**_ The angel seated himself gracefully next to her. _**What matters is that you see it.**_ He began to intone a familiar adage that he had repeated to her often over the years. _**Like creates like. Love creates more love, and—**_

Jubilee let out a loud, despondent sigh. "Hate creates more hate," she finished glumly.

"A keen insight, my dear," agreed Watari, nodding. "A vicious cycle that this world seems to be enslaved by. But do not be so hard on yourself. You are aware of it, at least…which means that you are already well on your way to stopping that cycle." He smiled at her.

Jubilee didn't feel comforted. She began telling Watari about the red and black cloud that had appeared over Aizawa, before attaching itself to her. "And the stupidest thing about it all," she finished, waving her hands for emphasis, "Is that it isn't the first time I've seen this. I've seen this kind of thing go on for _years._ I mean, even right here—" She rewound the footage playing on her screen and gestured at the people shuffling in and out of Yotsuba. "This guy, see?" She pointed at one man exiting the building. "He's got this, kind of—smog-colored gunk, hovering around him, with some lighter colors mixed in underneath it. But then this other dude—" She pointed at another man opposite the first, walking towards the entrance. "The cloud over him is pure black. Now watch." The second man glanced down at his cell phone as he hurried towards the building, causing him to collide with the first. Briefcases fell and portfolios blew open, papers flying everywhere. The second man began shouting at the first. Jubilee pointed at the air between them. "Now the black cloud is detaching from this guy, and latching onto the first guy, mixing in with the smog-colored gunk." The first man look bewildered at first, before an offended look overcame his features and he began yelling back, and then shook his fist dangerously close to the other man's face. Jubilee shook her head. "This kind of thing happens all the time. It's like darkness is attracted to itself." She sat back. "So you think I'd know better by now, being able to see this clear as day," she said sadly. "But I'm no closer to stopping the cycle than I was two years ago—not even in myself."

Watari was quiet for a moment. "My dear," he said at last. "A patient man is not the one who was never tempted to react in anger. Rather, it is the one who was tempted many times, and finally overcame that anger."

Jubilee chewed on this. "But how does he overcome that anger? Or any other negative emotion, like guilt, resentment…or fear?"

Watari smiled. "The only way," he said, "Is to replace it with something even stronger."

"Like what?" asked Jubilee with sincerity.

Hellenos dragged a hand down his face in hopeless exasperation.

L's voice suddenly came across the overhead speakers. "Miss Amachi," it intoned. "Please return to the main investigation room for a quick debriefing."

Jubilee groaned, and beside her Hellenos faded from sight. "One hour," she said, pushing her chair back to stand up. "Can't I have even one hour?"

* * *

"Ryuzaki!" Matsuda was shouting when Jubilee reentered the room. She noticed that a small, green wisp was forming around his eyes. "I want to be helpful as well, like Mogi and the chief!" he cried. "Please tell me…what else can I do to help with the investigation? Besides the undercover manager thing?"

L did not seem moved by this grandiose declaration. "You really want to be useful?" he asked without looking round at the other man.

"Yes!" Matsuda pumped his arm in the air enthusiastically.

"Very well. Could you get me another cup of coffee please?"

The poor former officer looked aghast. A bubble popped in the air by his head, and the green wisp intensified in color and size. Jubilee felt sorry for him but decided that that wasn't her problem, and that feeling sorry for someone didn't do her a whole lot of good the last time it happened.

She cleared her throat. "Excuse me," she said, successfully biting back the more critical remark that had been on her tongue. "But if you're quite finished being…your usually charming and people person kind of self—" Okay. So maybe sarcasm had managed to slip past the filter. "Then could you let me know what you need me for, please?"

Without missing a beat or turning around, L lifted three fingers high in the air. "First," he said, "Mr. Yagami has had the keen insight of noticing that recent killings have been centered on the weekends, specifically around Friday night and Saturday afternoon; so we will be focusing our attention on that time frame until further notice. Second," He put down one finger, leaving two remaining. "Mogi has compiled records on all 300,000 of Yotsuba's employees. You may access them whenever you wish. Third," He lowered yet another finger, and used the remaining index finger to point behind him towards the couch. "Meet our guests."

"Guests?" echoed several voices around the room.

"Yes. Guests," L affirmed without turning around. "Oh, and Matsuda—" He swept his hand towards the two people sitting on the couch. "Some coffee for them as well."

Everyone turned to look at the two new inhabitants of the room. A man and a woman, both blonde and wearing sleek dress suits, returned their stares with casual waves.

"Uh, who are they?" asked Matsuda.

"How did they get _in_?" demanded Light.

"Those two," said L as the two strangers rose and stepped forward, "Are the newest members of the task force."

"My name is Aiber," said the man. He gave a charming and lazy grin. "I'm a con man."

"I'm Wedy," the woman spoke up next. Sunglasses hid her eyes over a set of red, lipsticked lips. "And I'm a thief by trade."

Jubilee looked at them, stunned. Beside her Soichiro spoke up, sounding equally stunned, but probably for different reasons. "A con man and a thief?" he repeated, looking appalled.

"That's right," replied L, standing up at last from his chair and turning towards them. "Aiber has unparalleled social skills that allow him to befriend and gain the trust of any target. He will be our spy. And Wedy specializes in cracking high-end security systems. As proof of that, she was able to enter the building without setting off a single alarm."

"But—!" began Soichiro.

"Furthermore," continued L without allowing the other man to finish, "They have never once been caught. Therefore their names are unknown to the general public, and thus they are unlikely to be targeted by Kira. Think of them as professionals of the underworld."

"You expect us to work with criminals?" Soichiro demanded incredulously.

Jubilee felt heat crawl up the back of her neck at his tone. So she couldn't light a candle to these guys—she hadn't even known there was such a thing as _pro_ thieving…what did that make her, an amateur?—but still, what these two people did, she had done, albeit on a smaller scale. What would the former chief think if he knew that, all along, he had been working with a petty thief who conned unsuspecting individuals out of their pocket money? _Former_ petty thief, she corrected herself in her head; but this gave her little comfort.

"That is correct," L was saying. His gaze swept the room to take in all his colleagues. Jubilee might have imagined it, but it almost seemed like his gaze lingered on her just a second longer than everyone else before he said, "It wouldn't be the first time."

Jubilee stopped breathing and her vision went plain; all ability to see colors or lines over people, L or otherwise, disappearing in the wake of sudden terror. Surely…surely L didn't know about…

Then L added, "They have worked under me before," and the moment passed.

Soichiro and Matsuda turned to the detective with shocked looks, but before either of the two men could protest or ask questions, Light suddenly spoke up.

"I get it," he said to L, then turned to Aiber and Wedy. "To investigate Yotsuba, we're going to need the help of people like this." He glowed brightly yellow in Jubilee's eyes as otherworldly colors returned to her vision, and she found herself able to breathe again as L nodded. "Then let's all do our part and make this happen!" Light added, raising a fist.

"Yes," agreed L, turning away. "You all know what to do. Watari," he called to the air, "Please debrief our two newest members."

"Yes, sir," came Watari's voice over the intercoms.

"The rest of you." L turned back to the others and dismissed them with a casual wave. "Back to work."

"Yes, boss!" cried Matsuda enthusiastically.

Jubilee, too, was only too happy to comply and get away from L once more—not only because of the tension that was already between them, but also because of how unnerved the idea of him discovering her past had made her feel. She turned away and began to hurry from the room when the voice she dreaded to hear addressed her.

"Miss Amachi," it called after her.

She stopped in her tracks. "What," she said stiffly, not turning around. Then she winced and, clenching her teeth, turned to face the detective. "I mean, yes?"

L regarded her coolly from where he stood at the desk beside Light. "You are returning upstairs?"

She held his gaze and suddenly felt torn between wanting to throw herself at his feet in an apology, and wanting to hit him in the face for the cool and unperturbed expression he was wearing. "Yes," she began defensively. "I've got footage of the Yotsuba group up and playing already—"

"Then, would you please escort Aiber and Wedy with you up to see Watari." L turned away with another wave of dismissal, not bothering to see her answer. "That is, if it won't trouble you too much."

Jubilee wasn't sure whether she really had a choice, seeing as how no other option had been presented and the two new team members would not know how to get to Watari themselves. But at this point, she felt desperately behind in terms of making up for her behavior towards him. So she grudgingly acquiesced. "Yes, boss," she said curtly, then gestured to Aiber and Wedy. "This way." She turned and marched for the elevators, the two professional criminals—and Hellenos, who suddenly materialized nearby—following her.

Behind her, she heard Matsuda whispering, not quite softly enough, "Do you think she's still angry with you, Ryuzaki?"

"We're heading upstairs," she said loudly to the two following her, so as to drown out the sound of any reply L might make. "Which—" She fumbled awkwardly for words as she realized that this was an obvious statement, since L had already said as much and she was standing in front of an elevator. "I guess you, um, knew already. Ah—" She jabbed at the elevator button a few times. "We're going to the top floor," she added helplessly.

The two criminals simply smiled pleasantly at her. So did Hellenos.

The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside. As they ascended in silence, she wondered to herself over how it was that L had come to work with these two individuals. Did that mean there were exceptions to his whole "I Am Justice" rule, and that there were some criminals who he would let off the line? Moreover, what would that mean for her should he ever find out about her past? The thought made her groan internally. Hers was a predicament that was entirely unenviable. Not only had she fallen for someone she severely disliked, but furthermore, he just happened to be someone who was obsessed with—and particularly good at—taking down all criminals…and, what do you know, she just happened to have a criminal history.

The sudden appearance of Aiber and Wedy on the case, however, might just give her situation some hope.

"So, um," she began, breaking the silence once they exited the elevators. "How did you two get into…er, your—professions?"

A long, awkward silence followed as she led them down the hall. Then Aiber flashed his casual grin and simply said, "That's a long story, kid." Wedy offered no response at all.

"Right," said Jubilee, painfully reminded of the fact that she had never been good at small talk—not since the day she stopped pretending and started being herself. "I know how that is."

"And how did you," Aiber responded smoothly with a gesture her way, "Get into being a—what is it you are? A cop?"

"No. I'm the psychic specialist on the case," said Jubilee, then wanted to slap herself. Hellenos, gliding along beside them, raised an eyebrow at her.

"Really," said Aiber, his brows also arching, but with polite interest.

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, not really." Jubilee gesticulated helplessly. "It's just what it says in the paperwork. I just, um—I'm just here. For…stuff. It's kind of confidential," she finished lamely, wishing she had never started this conversation.

"Ah," said Aiber, giving another trademark grin that carefully masked any judgment. "I see."

They reached the door to Watari's security room. Jubilee, grateful for an opportunity to change the subject, hurriedly opened the door and ushered them inside. "Here we are," she said. "Watari will debrief you now. I've got some work to get to. Nice chatting with you." She made a beeline for the computer she had been using, leaving Aiber and Wedy in Watari's capable and much more sociable hands.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Watari, still engaged in deep conversation with the two newest team members, gestured for Jubilee to answer. She did so grudgingly, reluctant to face another person but curious to see whom it could be.

Matsuda stood on the other side of the door, a tray of steaming coffee mugs in his hands.

"Oh, hi Miss Julie!" he greeted awkwardly but cheerfully when she opened the door. "I, uh, know that Watari's probably got his own pot of coffee up here already, but I realized that I'd forgotten to carry out Ryuzaki's instruction earlier to bring some coffee to our guests, and I just thought—well, it wouldn't be right if I completely ignored him."

Jubilee's cheeks heated slightly—was this a jab at her?

But then Matsuda added, "I brought you a cup too, just in case you wanted or needed extra," and she realized that Matsuda was too dumb and too nice to make subtly passive-aggressive criticisms targeted at others—unlike herself. Not that she didn't feel pretty dumb these days.

She reached out to take the tray from him. "Thanks, Matsuda," she said, her heart softening towards him a little. It was then that she noticed the green wisps from earlier had doubled in size and intensity around the man's head. "Er—how are you doing, by the way?" she blurted on impulse. "Everything okay?"

Matsuda looked surprised. She had never inquired after his wellbeing before.

"I—well, I'm doing alright," he said slowly, then admitted, "Though now that you mention it, I guess I have been feeling a little bit inferior."

"Inferior?" she repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just—" The young man gestured vaguely. "Everyone else is doing so well. Making progress on the case and such. Chief found a major clue the other day in killing patterns. Mogi got praised by Ryuzaki for acquiring intel so efficiently. But all I've done is just pose as Misa-Misa's manager, which doesn't seem to help much. I guess I just feel behind, and like I'm a deadweight to this case."

Jubilee looked skywards. "Tell me about it," she sighed.

Matsuda eyed her curiously. "You can't mean that you feel that way too?" he asked incredulously. "Ryuzaki seems to think you find the most clues of all!"

"What?" said Jubilee with equal incredulity. "That's not true."

"He said so himself, more or less," responded Matsuda. "I don't know what all the clues are that he's talking about—I guess they're confidential—or maybe I'm just too dumb to get them, but even _I_ can tell that he highly respects you, Miss Julie, and thinks you're a great asset to the case!"

Jubilee felt her cheeks heat once more. She really didn't want to be talking about this right now…though she wasn't sure whether it was because it made her feel guilty, angry at being used, or annoyingly pleased despite herself.

"Don't talk about yourself that way," she said, changing the subject. "You're not dumb, Matsuda."

Matsuda looked doubtful. "You really think so, Miss Julie?"

"Of course I do," she said, then felt guilty upon realizing she had just thought the opposite twenty seconds ago. "Listen," she said, shoving the thought aside and letting her old Wakahisa instincts take over. "It's easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you should be doing better. But you know what? Feeling guilty doesn't solve anything. Doing something about it, though, might."

"Doing something?" Matsuda echoed. "You think I should…do something about it?"

"Yeah. Ask for help. Take opportunities. That kind of thing." She balanced the tray of coffee in one hand and reached out with the other to clasp Matsuda on the shoulder. "You're smart, Matsuda, you just need to act on it. Don't let feelings of inadequacy or guilt weigh you down."

 _ **Hmm,**_ murmured a voice from her side. She glanced over and caught Hellenos looking at her, one perfectly arched eyebrow lifted high. _**Do my ears deceive me? Is this Jubilee Jenkins speaking?**_

 _Oh, shush,_ she thought irritably. _It's always easier to see when it's in someone else._

 _ **Humans,**_ he said, rolling his eyes but grinning at the same time.

Matsuda seemed to mull over her words for a minute, his eyes round with thought. Then he grinned. "You're right, Miss Julie." He grabbed her free hand and clasped it in both of his, startling her. "I'm going to go out there and I'm going to do something about it. No more feeling guilty or inferior. Thanks for the pep talk, Miss Julie!" He dropped her hand and strode away down the hall.

"Huh," said Jubilee to herself as she watched the green mist start to dissipate from around Matsuda's retreating form. "Well that was easy."

 _ **Wasn't it?**_ Hellenos looked amused. _**Now try practicing what you preach.**_

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, making her way back into the room with the coffee tray. "I'm working on it."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! One reviewer asked if the doors wouldn't open automatically should Jubilee try to walk out (I believe that was what the question was asking, yes?), and also if there were nearby churches. Good point on the doors. They seem to be automatic sliding doors in the show, but in the last chapter I made it possible for Aizawa to have the dramatic effect of the door(s) slamming shut behind him. I'll let readers visualize that however they wish. As for Jubilee, I've always envisioned that, yes, should she try to make a break for it, she could probably easily run out a door. But that she sees no point in it, being resigned to the fact that she couldn't make it very far before being apprehended on L's orders.**

 **I imagine that there is a church or churches nearby, probably accessible via a short train ride, since the investigation HQ is in a metropolitan downtown area. However, since Japan's Christian population is about 2% since the last time I checked, there probably are not a whole lot to go to. Either way, considering Jubilee's brief but unpleasant experience with church in the past, as well as her own reclusive nature, she is unlikely to pursue the idea at all. She probably had small group gatherings at Wakahisa with the kids and other volunteers, but anything beyond that is stretching her comfort zone. I propose that she'd be more of a small, home church kind of girl, if anything.**

 **Someone else mentioned puns. Subtle and not-so-subtle puns I've included so far: the "L word," Jubilee willing herself to "stop seeing the light" in L (figuratively and literally!), and Light throwing a punch "faster than his namesake."**

 **Thanks for tuning in, Death Note fans! There was some mild foreshadowing in this chapter. Can anyone guess what will happen next?**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

In the perfect world of Jubilee's imaginary mind theater, when she went downstairs for work the next day, she would have grabbed an extra cup of coffee, piled it high with sugar cubes, and delivered it to L with a smile and an apology. Something cool and collected like, "Sorry about yesterday. Can we start over?" Or, "That wasn't cool of me to flip out. Let's put it behind us." Maybe she would throw in a muffin from the refreshment cart along with it. Or, perhaps, in an alternate cut scene version that her mind had contrived, she'd have gone above and beyond, asking Watari to help her bake a cake the night before.

But this was reality, and reality wasn't a perfect world, and she wasn't a perfect person. And gracious apologies that came easily, and affable reconciliations that smoothed everything over, only existed in the realm of her imagination—where she had rehearsed the above scenarios repeatedly, yet still found her feet walking right on past the detective when she approached him in real life.

 _Tomorrow,_ she thought resignedly as she slid into her chair. _Tomorrow I'll say sorry._ But that was what she had told herself twenty-four hours ago, and even now the very thought of it put an irrational sense of dread in her.

Maybe it was because ignoring the problem was less risk than addressing it and having to open up that whole can of worms again. Tense silence between her and L was marginally better than giving him an opening to potentially reproach her for her conduct. If she had to hear him tell her one more time that her emotions were hindering her progress on the case, then she just might lose it. Although, to make it all worse…they probably were.

Moodily, she pulled up footage and proceeded to fast forward it as usual. Hours passed by in this fashion as the repetitive images played before her. This, combined with the drone of quiet conversation around her, made her continually have to suppress a huge yawn. A few feet to her right, Aiber, Wedy and L had been discussing a lengthy plan of action.

"So I just have to get close to these guys, right?" the blonde man said at one point, flipping through a stack of Yotsuba employee profiles. He looked up and grinned. "Leave it to me."

Wedy, seated by his elbow, also addressed L. "And you want me to breach the security and override the surveillance cameras in the Yotsuba Group's head office. Is that all?"

"Yes," replied L from his usual crouched position in his chair. "At this point, it's safe to assume that Kira and the Yotsuba Group are connected in some way. We need to investigate Yotsuba and determine who holds Kira's power, and also if there is more than one person who possesses this ability. However." He swiveled away from his computer to face them, wearing a serious expression. "We _cannot_ let anyone from Yotsuba figure out that we are investigating them. If they do, we won't be able to catch Kira. So please, do _not_ act out of panic or haste, and do _not_ take matters into your own hands."

"Ryuzaki," Watari's voice suddenly interrupted from the speakers.

"Yes. What is it?" asked L.

Watari's voice was grim. "I have just received an emergency signal from Matsuda's belt."

Everyone in the room looked up at this, including Jubilee.

L's expression had blackened perceptibly. "Where is he?" he asked darkly.

"It seems," began Watari, "That it is coming from within the head office of the Yotsuba Group."

There was a moment of shocked silence.

"What?" squeaked Jubilee, whipping her head around the room. She hadn't even known that Matsuda wasn't there. "He left?"

"He's been on a film shoot with Misa, posing as her manager," answered Mr. Yagami, before adding thoughtfully, "The set is not that far from the Yotsuba building. He must have thought it would be a good opportunity to investigate."

Jubilee felt sweat form on her brow. What was it she had told Matsuda? _Do something…take opportunities…things like that._

Whoops.

"Disregard everything I just said," L instructed tersely as he swiveled back around in his chair and bit down on his thumb, hard. "I'll have to rethink our strategy." Under his breath he added, between grit teeth, "Matsuda, you _idiot_."

Jubilee found herself nibbling nervously on a fingernail. This was her fault, wasn't it? Add that to her ever-growing list of blunders. At least no one would know about this one.

"Light, give me your cell phone," said L suddenly. Light obeyed quickly, handing over his phone, and L promptly flipped it open and called a number, holding the phone up to his ear between a thumb and forefinger.

"Yo, Matsui!" he drawled when a person on the other line answered.

 _Matsui._ Matsuda's alias. Everyone in the room held their breaths.

"Yeah, it's me, Asahi," continued L, his voice higher than usual and affected with a lazy, almost drunken inflection. "It's been a while, eh buddy?"

Jubilee stared in shock, unable to conceive hearing such a voice come out of the detective. Above his head a crumbling line wavered and wobbled, snapping in two and then putting itself back together, unable to decide which state to remain in. The words coming out of L's mouth may have been a charade, but there was a truer, sincere intent behind them.

"Yeah, it doesn't sound like you're out right now," L continued, then jibed in a mocking but jovial tone, "Don't tell me you're home already."

He sounded like a regular frat boy. Jubilee shook her head, bewildered.

"So!" continued the detective. "You by yourself?" His eyes took on a considering look as he listened. Then, putting a hand over the mouthpiece and holding it away from himself, he whispered to the rest of them, "He's not with Misa Amane right now. Matsuda must be on his own." Returning the phone to his ear, he drawled on, "So do you wanna, like, go out drinking tonight?"

Jubilee thought she might die. Maybe she already had died, and had been sent to an alternate universe, one in which L was your average dude who did average things.

"Oh, what's the matter?" he said after a moment, his voice taking on a taunting edge. "Don't tell me your wallet is _in trouble_ again."

 _In trouble!_ thought Jubilee. _He's talking to him in code!_ She leaned forward, straining to catch the sounds of Matsuda's voice through the earpiece.

" _Yeah,_ " she thought she could hear Matsuda say through the phone. " _Biiig troubles with money. You know me too well, Asahi._ "

"Aw, that's too bad. I need to go over there and drag you out one of these days, don't I?"

A meaningful pause, and then, " _Yeah. I guess you do._ " There was the crackly sound of nervous laughter. " _Julie did tell me that I needed to get out there and start taking more opportunities—"_

Jubilee paled at the mention of her name.

" _But she also said I should also ask for help when I need it…So, say, if you're ever up for helping me out with my…my money troubles, then I could get out of here and have a drink then…what do you say?_ "

L turned a foreboding expression on Jubilee and she gulped. Putting a hand over the receiver again, he spoke to the rest of the team, though his eyes remained on her. "Matsuda is saying he is in big trouble and needs help escaping. And—" His eyes narrowed somewhat. "Something else, which will figure out later." Returning to the phone, he continued in a lighter tone, "I'll have to check my bank account and see if there's anything I can swing. Otherwise, I guess I'll just drag you out some other time, all right? See ya, buddy!" He snapped the phone shut with a click.

Slowly he turned in his chair to face Jubilee. So did the rest of the task force.

"I have _no_ idea what he's talking about," she blurted before anyone could say anything. She could practically feel the thick line over her head snapping in two, showering her with a thin layer of black dust. "It's _Matsuda_. You know how he is."

So she was throwing Matsuda under the bus. So what?! He had thrown her under the bus first.

L, expressionless, held her gaze for a moment before turning away. "So I do," he said brusquely. "Let's just put that behind us and attend to more important matters." Without missing a beat he addressed the rest of the task force. "Matsuda has most likely been apprehended by the Kira conspirators at Yotsuba, in which case they will not be letting him out of their sight until they decide whether or not he is a threat to them. With any luck he'll have been wise enough to use his alias as Misa's manager to appear innocent, and stall their suspicions. But we will still have to come up with a plan to get him out of there. Light." He handed Light's phone back over. "Call Misa Amane, please."

"Will do," said Light, dialing a number on his phone.

Jubilee's relief at having been let off the hook so easily was quickly flushed out by sudden, overwhelming guilt. Not only guilt over Matsuda's predicament…but also the fact that L had just taken her planned words—which she had so dreaded, and so agonizingly rehearsed over and over again in her head—right out of her mouth.

 _Let's just put that behind us._

She groaned. _She_ was the one who was supposed to have said that!

"We have to consider," she heard L saying to the rest of the task force, "That if Matsuda dies, the suspicions about the Yotsuba Group will be confirmed."

Jubilee felt panic well up inside of her. "No!" she cried, jumping out of her chair. "That isn't—we can't let that happen! All Matsuda was trying to do was help the case. He shouldn't have to pay the price for—for—" _For my stupidity. For my big mouth._

L regarded her outburst with an impassive gaze. After a moment, he simply said, "Let's just watch the situation for the time being," and turned away.

Jubilee wanted to shout something after him, to tell him that giving Matsuda up to the dogs could not possibly be an option, when she noticed something that made her stop short. There was a line over his head, crumbling. With sudden clarity she realized, without knowing how, that L had no intention of letting Matsuda die.

The sound of Misa's voice crackled over Light's phone, which he had put on speaker. " _Hang on,_ " she was saying." _I'm getting a call on my work phone…oh hey, it's from Matsu!_ "

"Tell her to hold her phone so that we can listen in as well," L instructed Light.

Light did as he was told, and they soon heard Matsuda's voice, thin but distant: " _Misa-Misa, when you're finished filming, come over to the Yotsuba Group's head office._ " His voice held an exaggerated tone of false cheer. There was definitely someone else listening in. " _It's still tentative, but there's a chance you may be able to appear in Yotsuba's commercials! I've been negotiating with them over it._ "

Misa's excited voice garbled praises for Matsuda, as the rest of the task force members exchanged uncertain and nervous glances.

"Listen to me, Light." L's voice was sharp and he had grabbed the other young man by the sleeve of his elbow. "There is a chance," he began slowly, "That we may be able to save Matsuda. But we won't be able to do it without Misa's help." He cast large, dark eyes up at Light. "She'll listen to you and do anything you say, won't she?"

"Uh, I suppose," said Light.

L suddenly swiveled in his chair to face Jubilee, fixing her with a stare that froze her to the spot with its intensity. "And you, Miss Amachi," he said softly. "We will need your help as well."

* * *

"No," said Jubilee stoutly for the third time.

Standing slouched before her, L heaved a deep sigh. "Miss Amachi," he began tiredly. "I would have thought that you, of all people, would jump at the opportunity to leave this building."

"Not in that capacity!" she cried.

They were standing alone together in a corner of the main room, the rest of the task force milling about and pretending that they didn't know what was going on. L, in an uncharacteristic gesture, had gotten up and cornered her as soon as she had tried to run away upon hearing his plan.

His eyes hardened now as he gazed at her. "I do not understand the problem. You will be perfectly safe. The plan ensures that."

"It's not that," she said stubbornly. "It's—I can't—"

"That phrase again, Miss Amachi," sighed L. "When will you cease to let it define you?"

"Don't pep talk me, Ryuzaki!" Jubilee snapped. "Are _you_ the one squeezing into a tight mini-skirt and schmoozing with a bunch of sleazy businessmen?"

"Miss Amachi—"

"Who, _by the way_ , are murderers!"

"Possible murderers. We are still acquiring evidence."

" _You_ already believe that they're in with Kira," she hissed, trying to keep her voice down but failing. "And you're you! The mighty L! That's as good as truth."

It just figured that the only time she could say something nice about him was when she was yelling at him.

"I'm flattered, Miss Amachi, but—"

"I'm not trying to flatter you!" she shouted, anger and embarrassment colliding within her.

That silenced him for a moment. They stared at each other; her with flushed cheeks and glaring eyes, and him with an aloof and unreadable expression on his face.

"Miss Amachi," he began again, quietly. "If you have confidence in my word as a detective, then have confidence in my word that you will be safe. They will not suspect you. I guarantee it."

The sincerity in his voice pained her. "I told you," she said, feeling miserable, "That that's not what I'm worried about." Wearily she glanced around her for Hellenos. Though she couldn't see him, she knew he was there. What was it he had mentioned in passing once? _Kira cannot touch you._ She didn't know exactly what that meant or why, but she knew that Hellenos wouldn't lie. And that he was always with her wherever she went. Sighing, she admitted begrudgingly, "I know that I will be safe no matter what."

"Then _what_ is the problem exactly?"

Jubilee stared back at L in a moment of frustrated and despondent silence. How could she possibly explain to him that to do this was to step into her past that she wanted so desperately to forget? How could she make him understand that the very memory of what she used to do was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach…much less actually having to go out there and reenact it? For that was what he was asking her to do—doll up, distract the target, and deceive them.

The fact that these people were villains and her former targets were innocent civilians was not enough to shake the guilt of having to put on a charade and live a lie. She knew that her fear of that guilt—and the crippling sense of anxiety that it put her in— may have been irrational, but she couldn't help it.

"Why do you need me to be a part of it?" she asked, ignoring his question. "Misa has other models from her promo team to work with."

"One of them is ill, and two are out of town working other jobs, leaving only six including Misa. There are at least eight, possibly ten, men from Yotsuba who will be at her apartment to attend this faux 'reception' she is hosting for them. Without all of them being completely and effectively distracted, we run the risk of them being on to Matsuda before we can get him out of there. The more help we can get, the better. It is unfortunate," he finished, spreading his hands, "But we are short-staffed."

She looked hopelessly at him and reined in the impulse to tell him that, if that was so, then maybe _he_ should be the one to put himself and his dignity on the line. But she knew it would be a senseless and childish argument to make. Out of all the other members of the task force, she was the only possible candidate who could do this.

Yet still, she argued. "It's a stupid plan," she declared hotly. "You say you don't want them to be on to us, but I would clearly stick out like a sore thumb."

"How so?" asked L, arching a brow.

She gestured at her face. "I'd be the only one there who isn't fully Japanese."

"That'll only serve our purpose by giving you more appeal in their eyes."

"I have an accent! How is that inconspicuous?"

"As you just said, you aren't a native. They'll understand."

"I'm not a model!" she burst out in a final, desperate attempt.

"You can easily pass for one."

This last statement, though impassive and matter-of-fact in its delivery, so flustered Jubilee that for a moment she could say nothing—which only made her feel angrier.

"You're manipulating me, aren't you?" she seethed. Even as she said it, she noticed the line over his head that had remained intact during their entire conversation. And then, against her will, her vision zoned in on the slight, almost imperceptible wince that creased his brow at her accusation. She had seen that look once before, but in a dream. The expression held a world of meaning that she would have never otherwise perceived in L—sympathy, remorse, and even…pity. But none of this made her feel any better.

Because the fact remained, that even though she could see the line over his head indicating his genuineness, she could also see the bright, pink mist that was issuing forth from herself—loathsome though it was to her because of what it indicated—and that nothing of the sort emanated from him beyond the usual, gray haze.

He may have just told her she was pretty, but there was no more feeling behind it than a computer tallying up votes to tell Misa that she was number one among reader popularity polls.

And even if he did feel sympathy for her, it didn't mean that he liked her. Yet still this stupid, hateful pink mist didn't cease to leave her alone.

"Please don't act sorry for me," she went on, her voice low. "And don't use my feelings to get what you want."

There was a moment of tense silence as L looked at her, his eyes holding just the slightest hint of an unfamiliar expression—guilt? Hurt?—before he schooled his features into a carefully stoic mask.

"I apologize," he began slowly, his voice neutral, "If that is what you think of me. And I apologize for the distress I have caused you. That was never my intention."

 _I know,_ said a small voice in her head, but she refused to acknowledge it, her mind still too caught up in self-preservation mode to think rationally or with compassion.

"However," he continued. "I am afraid there is no other choice but for me to insist. I have carefully calculated every possible outcome of this scenario, and the absence of even one more model to act as a distraction would increase the likelihood of suspicion by at least twenty percent. That may seem negligible to you, but even that small of a chance could put Matsuda, Misa, and the other models—who are innocent bystanders—in danger of Kira's wrath. And I would not be willing to go forth with such a plan if the risk were that high." He paused. "The only other option would be to abandon Matsuda."

Slowly the glare slid off of Jubilee's face. She stared at him helplessly.

"Again," he said softly. "I am truly sorry."

This statement broke her. _He_ wasthe one saying sorry, when that was what _she_ owed him ten times over by now. She turned around, unable to face him anymore and putting the palms of her hands up to her eyes, which suddenly stung with unshed tears.

"Please," she whispered. "Stop apologizing." She couldn't bring herself to elaborate more, to tell him that it was because she was the one who should be apologizing to him.

Was all this happening because she had refused to say sorry to him earlier? Was it punishment, some kind of divine retribution, because of her pride and stubbornness? _Do something about your guilt,_ she had told Matsuda, but had been slack in doing anything about her own.

Was she being forced to _do something_ now, because she hadn't been willing to do what should have been done earlier?

Maybe this was what she got for getting Matsuda into this mess and then not owning up to it. What's more, she hadn't even considered the safety of Misa or the other models. The memory of what the cop had said about her from long ago suddenly stung at her: _Selfish._ This whole time, she had been so frightened of facing her past and her own guilt, that she had been unable to think of anyone but herself.

"I—I—" She struggled with herself but couldn't seem to get a proper apology past her lips. "You're right," she finally managed to say, in a hoarse voice. "But I just—I still—I can't."

She could feel L standing silently behind her, his eyes boring holes into the back of her head.

Still hiding her eyes with her hands, she babbled on, "I can't explain it all right now, but I just—I don't know—" _If I can make myself do something like that again._ "—If I can pull something like that off, without majorly messing up."

"Yes you can."

 _Not anymore. Not without having traumatic flashbacks and a potential nervous breakdown._ Out loud, she groaned, "You don't understand."

"Yes I do," said L's voice without pause, quiet but full of unexpected conviction.

"How could _you_ understand?" she demanded, still not turning around, and with borderline contempt edging her voice. "You don't know what I've been through."

There was a pause and for a terrible moment Jubilee had the sudden, paranoid fear that he would once more respond, _Yes I do_. The only thing that could make this week any worse would be for L to know about her past.

Then he stated, matter-of-factly, "You said so yourself that you fell in with a bad crowd for a few years. Your choice to relocate was a drastic one and indicates that you regret much of your former lifestyle. Furthermore, you showcase textbook signs of emotional trauma and having certain anxiety triggers. No doubt you fear that what I am asking you to do will be a trigger." He paused, then added, "Whether or not I know the specifics of your situation, Miss Amachi, is irrelevant."

Jubilee was unable to breathe for a moment, torn between feeling relieved that he didn't know more, and vulnerable for being stripped so bare. Then she said, "If you know so much, then you know why I can't do this."

"On the contrary, Miss Amachi, that is exactly why I know you are capable of overcoming your fear. Because it is invalid."

"How could you say that?" she hissed, horrified that she might start to cry.

She heard his quiet footsteps pad around her so that he was standing face to face with her once more, but still she kept her hands over her eyes.

"Miss Amachi," he said quietly. "Please look at me."

She clenched her teeth but acquiesced, slowly lowering her hands from her face to scowl at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"Your fear is invalid because you fear your past, and your past is behind you. It is not who you are today, right now. Whatever perceived shortcomings you have of yourself are imaginary. You can do this, and you will do this, not because you want to—nor even because you are good at it."

At this Jubilee drew in a breath, ready to protest and demand what he meant by that last bit, but he went on before she could.

"You will do this not for your own sake or because of your abilities, but because it is needed of you, for the sake of another. This is not a command, Miss Amachi. It is a fact that I am stating." He looked at her with a carefully emotionless expression. "You have far too much kindness and compassion in you, to ultimately let your fears to win out over your concern for others."

She stared at him for a moment, shocked to see that the line over his head was still intact. There was no way she could have said the same thing about herself and believed it. "How do you know that?" she asked softly.

"Observation," he stated simply. "Despite whatever contrary feelings you may have at the time, you unfailingly end up seeing the good in others on this task force and attempting to encourage and defend them…even without intending to." He looked askance. "That and the children at the orphanage put up a surprising amount of fuss at your absence, when someone was sent to fetch your things."

Her breath hitched and she felt suddenly heartsick as she remembered Wakahisa. Afraid that she really would cry, she tried to change the subject. "Didn't think I'd be a kids kind of person, huh?" she laughed weakly. "Neither did I."

"That is my point exactly, Miss Amachi. You have always been far more capable than you believed yourself to be."

She stared at the floor, unable to look at him. She was sure that, if she did, she would start to see those beautiful colors and lights again; and she couldn't handle that on top of the rest of her swirling emotions at the moment.

"Which," L went on, "Is also why I need you to install the security cams for me in Misa's apartment."

Still staring at the floor, she blew out air between her lips, trying to mask the rest of her emotions with the sudden annoyance that flared up. "Why?" she grunted. "You could have easily had Misa come here first to get them, or sent Watari or one of the others over to install them in advance. Or Wedy. She'd probably be the smartest choice of all."

"You are the best choice to make, Miss Amachi, because I say that you are. Didn't you say that my word was as good as truth?"

She glowered at him. "Don't go quoting me on that every time, now."

"Julie Amachi," he began, surprising her with his sudden use of her full name—full pretend name, but still. "There is a time and a place when intuition supersedes logic, as I think you well know. My intuition about a person is rarely wrong. And if I did not believe that a person was worthy or capable of a certain task, I would not assign it to them. Which is where logic and intuition intermingle, and I find that to be a victorious combination 9.9 times out of 10 when I choose whom to employ under my charge during a case. Do you understand?"

She stared at him. "Uh, no," she said flatly. "What?"

He looked at her for a moment, then exhaled heavily in what could have been a sigh of either impatience or reluctance. "What I am saying, Miss Amachi," he articulated slowly, "Is that I believe in and trust you."

Jubilee was so surprised by this that she forgot to check for the line over his head. Instead she stared straight at him and, in that moment, saw wisps and fountains of light spilling over and out of him through the gray haze. It wasn't the misty pink that indicated affection, yet even so, it was undeniably beautiful. In that moment Jubilee knew that—confound it all—she was going to end up doing whatever he asked.

She didn't know whether to feel annoyed by this or touched by his words. To her embarrassment, a stray tear suddenly made its way out of the corner of her eye and down her cheek. Hurriedly she scrubbed at it the back of her hand, then let out a shaky breath and allowed herself a small smile. "Since when did _you_ know how to comfort others?" she managed to joke, sniffling. "I thought that was beneath you."

L shrugged. "Psychology books," he replied. "Though I confess that I find most of the standard methods of psychotherapy to be too soft on patients. There is a point where lenience is simply lazy and encourages mental and emotional mediocrity."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Of course you'd use psychotherapy tricks on me that you learned from a book."

"No, Miss Amachi, I just stated that I disagree with most of their methods. Rather, I've added what I deduce to be an improvement on traditional tactics, along with what has already been proven to work."

"Oh?" said Jubilee, crossing her arms. "And what's been proven to work, Doctor?"

"Eye contact. Acknowledging the subject's fears. Overriding them with a new, healthier perspective."

Jubilee arched an eyebrow. What was she, a lab monkey?

Noticing her increasing ire as he spoke, L quickly but smoothly added, "But none of this is to say that what I've said is not true. In fact, it is my belief that the only way to override old, debilitating beliefs is to replace them with new ones that are true instead of false. All that I have said about you, I consider to be absolutely true. And you can tell whether or not I am speaking the truth now, can't you?"

Jubilee looked into his eyes and saw that his gaze was earnest. Somehow, that was enough for her, even though she knew he was talking about the steadfast line that was currently floating over his head.

"Yes," she said slowly. "Yes I can."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Shout out to _Big Fan_ , since you aren't signed in and I can't thank you personally through PM. Since you've asked some more delightful questions, I'll do a little Q & A!**

 **Q: _Does L keep those candies he likes stocked on him or do you he think he makes his minions go and get them for him?_**

 **A: He totally does both, just to cover all his bases.**

 **Q:** _ **Do you think Light likes Shogi or chess?**_

 **A: After doing some quick research on the gameplay of Shogi, I think that Light is conflicted in his preference between the two games. I imagine that he grew up playing Shogi, and then at some point quickly picked up chess as well just because that's what a smart, overachieving and well-cultured kid like him would do. On the one hand, I think he likes that in Shogi, you can capture the opponent's pieces and then use them as your own; and that he probably found the absence of this component in chess to be somewhat disappointing and inconvenient as a player. However, on the other hand, I think a part of him is subconsciously drawn to the fact that, in chess, when you "kill" a piece, it stays killed (for the most part); and I think that if he were to think of it philosophically, he'd feel a sense of security in death being a more reliable "constant" in that game.**

 **I read a speculation somewhere that that particular rule in Shogi is possibly connected to the practice of 15th century mercenaries switching loyalties when captured instead of being killed. I think this both appeals to and offends the Kira side of Light; because on the one hand he likes being able to manipulate and use innocents and opponents to his advantage, but on the other hand, if he takes someone out, he'd want them to stay out of the game and not used against him. In short, if he had it his way, he'd play a game of chess in which he could capture the other player's pieces and use them as his own, like in Shogi...but the other player couldn't have the same luxury and would have to stick to the rules of chess. Which, in short even more, is to say that he just plain doesn't like to play fair...despite all his talk of justice. :)**

 **Q: _Since [Jubilee is] semi-arrested while working with L does that mean someone else picks out her clothes and other personal items on a day to day basis?_**

 **A: Jubilee's room is furnished with a dresser and closet, in which she can keep all her things that were fetched for her from Wakahisa. So she can pick out her own clothes and such. She probably doesn't have any jewelry or many accessories, having gotten rid of all that stuff (which she mostly stole) before relocating to Japan. I imagine Watari kind of goes around acting as room service, restocking basic toiletries in each room when needed. Jubilee just uses that stuff. Misa, on the other hand, probably demanded to have a whole host of specific beauty products delivered to her from her place and restocks on a regular basis. She probably gives a list to Matsuda and he goes out and shops for her. XD**

 **...~*~...**

 **Thanks for tuning in to my little fangirl corner! Kudos to _Schrodinger's Kat_ for sort of accidentally coining that idea right before this happened. You must be a prophet!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Jubilee didn't think she had ever worn a dress this tight, even back in her thieving days. As instructed, she had retrieved the offending article of clothing out of the back of Misa's closet at headquarters. Now she was sitting on a couch in Misa's downtown apartment, squeezed between half a dozen other girls in dresses that matched hers except for color. Hers was blue. The others flaunted a variety of other colors from the rainbow.

Misa, flouncing about in a pink dress, addressed the group of middle-aged men in suits who were filing through the door, followed sheepishly by Matsuda. "Welcome!" the blonde girl announced cheerily. "Tonight, I'll be entertaining you, our _special_ guests, along with the girls from our agency."

She gestured towards the couch where Jubilee and the other girls sat. As rehearsed, Jubilee plastered a smile on her face and, along with the other models, chirped, "Good evening! We're very pleased to meet you."

It made her want to gag. Behind the men—whose expressions ranged from wary to intrigued—Matsuda gave her a bewildered look upon recognizing her, and Misa sent a wink and thumbs up her way. Jubilee just barely refrained from cringing.

 _Just be cute!_ the younger girl had chided her twenty minutes earlier. _I know you can do it!_

 _Right,_ Jubilee had responded glumly as she vainly attempted to tug the hem of her dress down. _Thanks._

If the men from Yotsuba weren't staring at her and the other girls just now, she would have liked to throttle Matsuda for putting her in this situation. Both him and L.

There had been one more argument between her and the detective before she managed to make it to Misa's. It was right after she had reentered the main room after changing into the assigned wardrobe. Walking stiffly down the landing in high heels borrowed from Misa's shoe rack, with her hair piled high and her face cosmetically enhanced by products found in the younger girl's bureau, Jubilee felt her breathing grow suddenly shallow as images from Chicago—the glitzy outfits, the nightclub strobe lights, the men sidling up close behind her—assaulted her mind's eye. She had frozen and gripped the banister railing tight, afraid she would have a panic attack.

 _I can't do this,_ she had thought.

Wedy approached her then, oblivious to her turmoil, holding out a benign looking purse. Reaching in, the other woman pulled out a tiny security camera mounted on a pin.

"These are state of the art security cams," the other woman began saying. "They're wireless and easy to install, even for a child. Secure one in every corner of the room. There's a hammer in this purse." She put the bag into Jubilee's hands before she could protest. It was heavier than it looked.

L had shuffled over during Wedy's instructions. Jubilee, still feeling like she was about to hyperventilate, just barely managed to process both Wedy's words and L's presence. She stared at the purse in her hands.

"Wait," she said, her voice cracking. She turned slowly to L and pointed a shaky finger at Wedy. "Wedy's hot. Wedy's more suave than I am. And Wedy knows security cams better than I do. Why don't you make _her_ do this?"

L met her panicked, kohl-rimmed eyes with an emotionless gaze. "Wedy already has another role to play."

"Pretending to be a civilian on the street? That doesn't make any sense! _I_ should be the one doing that! You—"

"Miss Amachi," L suddenly snapped. It was the first time he had ever used such a tone with her. "If you propose to infiltrate the Yotsuba Corporation's head office, wiretap and install much more advanced and complexly hidden security cameras throughout the entire building in less than thirty minutes, and then make it back to the designated meeting point in time to perform the final steps of the rescue mission—then please, feel free to switch places with Wedy. Otherwise, stop second-guessing my plan. We are out of time."

Jubilee stared at him, shame heating her already rouged cheeks. "I didn't know you were having her do all that," was all she could say, meekly.

"The heads of Yotsuba will all be at Misa's apartment. It is the best opportunity we will have," explained L, his voice returning to a neutral and emotionless tone.

She said nothing then but this was mostly because, at the sudden revelation that this was really happening and there was no way out, she could no longer breathe. She turned away from them and put a hand to the wall, feeling faint and praying desperately that she wouldn't make a fool of herself by passing out, or worse, having a complete meltdown right there in front of everybody.

"Wedy," she heard L's soft voice say behind her. "A moment please."

The clicking of Wedy's heels walking away from them indicated that the detective was the only one still within earshot of her.

Dropping the purse, Jubilee slid down to crouch on her heels, hugging her knees to her chest and taking long, gasping breaths.

"I'm sorry," she rasped between heaving breaths. "I know. I know, I'm being a child. I have been, this whole time. I'm sorry." There it was at last. The long belated apology. Much more sniveling and less smooth than she had been hoping and picturing.

L padded around to stand before her, before lowering himself into a crouch so that they were knee to knee. Jubilee was too preoccupied with trying not to drown in the throes of a panic attack to pay any heed to his proximity.

"Apology accepted," the detective said quietly. "Miss Amachi, there is something you must remember."

"What," she sniffled, her voice muffled through the material of her dress, where her head was buried into her knees.

"That you can do all things," said L. "Through him that gives you strength."

Jubilee stilled slightly. She knew this line. But at the moment, she didn't quite believe in it. And it aggravated her that, between the two of them, he was the one quoting Bible verses at her.

"What are you, a believer now?" she scoffed.

"I didn't say that," said L. "I enjoy facts too much to replace them with faith. However, in this case, it is a clear fact to me that that everything you have done—impossible as it may have seemed at the time—was never accomplished by your strength alone. Rather, it has been by the strength of another." He paused, letting the statement sit for a second. "I have confidence that it will happen yet again. You must have confidence in this as well."

It took Jubilee a moment, but eventually she nodded, her forehead still pressed against her knees. She took a slow, shuddering breath. " _I can do all things through Him who gives me strength_ ," she whispered, more as affirmation to herself than to anyone else.

"Yes, Miss Amachi," said L softly. "Yes, you can."

Beside her, she felt Hellenos flicker into view. _**I concur,**_ said the angel gently.

"Okay," she said. "Okay." With more courage than she felt, she stood up abruptly.

Her vision darkened momentarily as the blood rushed to her head, and she grasped desperately for the wall, swaying on her feet. Cold fingers reached out and steadied her with a firm grip on her bare shoulder. She looked up, wide-eyed, into L's face, suddenly acutely aware of her revealing outfit and made up face. He looked neither concerned nor apprehensive, but his hand remained on her shoulder until she regained her balance. Then he let her go stepped back.

She looked away, cheeks pink even underneath the blush. Hopefully he wouldn't notice, but then again, he was the greatest detective in the world, so her chances weren't so good.

She glared sidelong at Hellenos. _You_ _could have caught me instead, couldn't you?_ she thought.

He grinned at her. _**But why, when there's another capable human to do it?**_

Jubilee rolled her eyes and then addressed L. "I can't promise I won't still be mad at you for this once I get there," she muttered, stooping to retrieve the purse.

"I'll take my chances," said L, then gestured for Wedy and Aiber. "Get the car. We're ready for phase one of the plan."

Now, as Jubilee sat on Misa's couch getting eyed by several businessmen like a tasty piece of meat, her mind tore between L's final words of encouragement and her own anger over being put in this situation.

 _I can do all things through Him who gives me strength,_ she repeated in her head like a mantra as the men leered at her. _But…I'm_ _still_ _mad at L for making me do this._

She did her best to smile at the man who was approaching her now, but the attempt was feeble. " _Hajimemashite_ ," she said weakly as he stood before her. The other girls had scattered, each assigning themselves to one or two men to play host to them. She sat before this one alone.

"Oh-ho," said the man, looking intrigued. "A foreigner, eh?"

"A quarter Japanese, actually," she clarified. "This is—was—my mother's homeland."

 _Shoot._ Not the right time to be bringing up her dead mother. She was supposed to be distracting the man with her charm, not chasing him away with a sob story.

"Uh—" She fumbled uncomfortably for something else to say. Out of desperation she gestured at the empty seat beside her on the couch. "Would you like to sit?"

 _Smile_ _, Jubilee,_ she scolded herself, and tacked on a half-hearted smile to her invitation.

The man, on the other hand, grinned widely. "Gladly," he said, plopping down on the couch beside her and slinging an arm over her shoulders. She flinched, and then awkwardly patted his hand that was hanging off of her shoulder, before wincing at herself.

This was terrible. When did she become so awful at this?

* * *

Back at headquarters, L and the other task force members watched the proceedings onscreen. Misa took up the main screen, bouncing about the room as she brought drinks to all the men.

"Hmm," murmured L to himself. "Misa seems pretty good at this sort of thing."

"How's Julie doing?" inquired Light.

The detective glanced at the brunette woman sitting on the couch in the corner. One of the Yotsuba men had his arm snaked around her, and her smile was tight.

"She's surviving," said L simply.

* * *

"So what brings you to Japan, pretty one?" the man, who had introduced himself as Kyosuki Higuchi, asked.

Jubilee swallowed. All of the men here had auras that were reminiscent of Tokyo's polluted air on a hot summer day, but there was a particular blackness to this man's aura that made her shudder. Her nerves were stretched so taut, however, that it kept flickering in and out of her view. Being asked questions about herself didn't help.

"I'm—here for—for—" she stuttered. Oh, how she hated that question. Why was it that the less she wanted to talk about herself, the more people always wanted to know? The more she tried to run away from her past, the more it chased her down.

 _I can do all things_ , she reminded herself, though the sentiment was unenthused. _I can do all things_ , she repeated in her head. _Through Him who…_

Suddenly, an absurd notion formed in her head. It was so dumb that it just might be brilliant. Slowly, she turned to the man next to her and pasted a fake smile on her face.

"For the Lord," she heard herself say.

Higuchi's leer disappeared behind a look of blank confusion. "What?"

"I said," she repeated, her smile becoming genuinely amused, "That the Lord led me here." She grinned maniacally at him then. "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior yet?"

Higuchi stared at her, his grip around her waist loosening. Beside them, Hellenos popped up, wearing an expression of equal parts bewilderment and disapproval.

 _ **What**_ _ **are**_ _ **you doing?**_ he demanded.

 _Shush, I'm sharing the gospel,_ she thought. _You should be proud of me._ Out loud she said, big smile unwavering, "It's the most fulfilling relationship you can ever have. He died for you, because He loves you. See the truth—" She leaned forward, closer to him, and he hastily released her to back away, scooting sideways along the couch. "And let it set you _free_ ," she whispered.

"Um," said the man. "So…you're a missionary then?"

Jubilee almost laughed at that. It was the last thing she would have ever though of being. But she forced her expression into one of mock seriousness. " _Life_ is a mission, Mr. Higuchi. A mission to fulfill the Great _Com_ mission. To make disciples of all the people of all the nations."

The look of utter alarm on Higuchi's face gave her a gleeful sense of satisfaction.

Hellenos raised an eyebrow at her. _**There IS such a thing as doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, you know.**_

Jubilee huffed to herself. As far as she was concerned, wanting this sleaze ball to take his slimy hands off of her was not a wrong reason.

 _ **But it's not a right one, either.**_

She ignored him and returned her attention to Higuchi. The man was still inching away in an attempt to escape her. She grabbed a wine glass off the coffee table and pounced, offering it out to him. "Drink?"

"Er, thank you," he said, taking the glass from her.

"You know," she went on as he took a sip, "Jesus said, 'Whoever believes on Me shall never thirst.'" She leaned forward and stared unblinkingly into his face. "Do _you_ believe?"

Higuchi looked unnerved. "Um, I—" he began. Catching sight of Misa walking by with a sushi platter, he jumped to his feet. "Excuse me," he said. "I just, ah, I'll grab us a little food, shall I?" He rushed away.

"I have food you know not of, sir!" she called after him. "Quote un-quote, Jesus the Messiah. Minus the 'sir' part." Higuchi didn't look back at her.

 _He's not coming back, is he?_ she thought.

 _ **Doubtful,**_ said Hellenos.

Several of the other men in the room were giving her funny looks. Matsuda took that moment to slip from the room, muttering something about needing the bathroom. None of them noticed.

Jubilee smiled at the men and gave them a cheerful wave. _How's THAT for a distraction,_ she thought smugly. Getting to her feet, she looked around for her next target.

 _ **Never thought you'd enjoy evangelizing so much,**_ said Hellenos dryly, his arms crossed.

Jubilee didn't bother to correct him and tell him that her main enjoyment at the moment was being a complete turn-off to the likes of men such as Higuchi. She knew that Hellenos already knew that, and probably didn't approve. Nevertheless, he didn't try too hard to stop her.

"Hey you." She stopped a man who had risen to follow Matsuda. "Let me tell you about the Good News."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Matsuda still had not returned, and Jubilee and the other models were hard-pressed to keep the men from noticing that fact. For her part, all the men whom she had talked to so far were now giving her a wide berth. She used it to her advantage; coming near with a smile and a wave so that they stayed busy trying to get away from her. But one could only hold up such a ruse for so long.

 _How long does it take L to give Matsuda the plan over the phone?_ Jubilee thought anxiously, gritting her teeth. Maybe the other task force members weren't in position yet, and they were still waiting. Either way, she could see that some of the men were starting to get restless.

"Hey," said a man in glasses beside her, looking around with a frown. "Where is—"

The man was about to ask about Matsuda, she just knew it. In an act of sheer desperation, Jubilee turned and threw her arms around him, knocking his glasses askew. "Jesus loves you," she whispered into his ear.

The man looked bewildered. "Well, hello there," he said, awkwardly disentangling her from himself before slipping his glasses off his nose to clean them on his shirt. "Had one too many drinks, did we?"

"Just high on the Spirit," she said airily, feeling ridiculous. _Where_ was Matsuda? It was time to end this absurd charade.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Is that a drink?"

She laughed weakly, then patted him on the shoulder. "No, no. Something much, much better."

He just gave her a confused but agreeable nod, and started to look away again, putting his glasses back on. Hurriedly she stuck out her hand. "I'm Julie."

He turned back to her. "Mido," he responded, shaking her hand. He seemed to really notice her then. "Ah, you're the foreigner. The others have been calling you 'the missionary model.'"

"Have they?" she asked. She didn't know what to do. This man didn't seem as put off by her act as the others had.

"Yes," he said. "I have been hoping for a chance to speak with you all night, so that I may ask…how does one who believes what you believe, do what you do?"

She felt herself go cold. "What do you mean?" she asked warily.

Mido raised his hands placatingly. "I mean no offense, Miss Julie. I simply ask because, lately, there have been things I've started to believe in as well—especially with all of the unfortunate Kira attacks. It has begun to make me question the things that I do. One must be ruthless to succeed in business; that is what we have always been taught. The same has been said for your industry, show business. But…what if that is not the way?"

She stared at Mido. Was this some kind of trick?

His eyes looked earnest. Above his head a thick, steady line appeared. She felt a strange but calming warmth suddenly whisper through her heart.

"That is not the way," she agreed quietly.

He gazed back at her, dozens of questions in his eyes. But he asked only one. "Then what is?"

Her mouth went dry. This she had not bargained for. Someone taking her seriously had not been part of the plan. In the man's eyes she could see all of his questions, doubts, and fears regarding Kira and the role that he himself had played in the murders so far. She saw all this not through her own eyes, but through the warmth that was still tickling at her heart. But she didn't quite know what to say to him.

"There—there is one Way, and it is Truth, and it is Life," she said haltingly.

"The way of God," suggested the man. It was a question.

She hesitated. "God…is love. And love is the only way. And love always gives life, never takes it. Whoever ruthlessly takes life, will ruthlessly lose it as well." She stopped then, realizing that she had spoken more bluntly than she intended to. Her statement was dangerously close to a Kira accusation. "That is," she amended hurriedly, "Metaphorically speaking as well as literally, because you know how they say businessmen are in the business of stealing souls…" This was not much better than the first statement. Clamping her mouth shut, she stared at him, chagrinned. "No offense," she added meekly.

To her surprise, Mido just chuckled. "Only as much as models are in the business of vanity," he said, then looked thoughtful. "I think I see what you are saying, Miss Julie. One can do seemingly wrong things for the right reasons, and seemingly right things for the wrong reasons. It all comes down to the motive, and the 'way' in which you do it, would you say so?"

Is that what she had been saying? Guiltily Jubilee thought of her own motives for putting on her pious act and starting this conversation. She slid her gaze over to where Hellenos was standing on her right. The angel simply smiled at her.

"Yes," she said, not knowing what else to say.

"Thank you, Miss Julie," said Mido. "I think I know what I must do now."

It was at that moment that Matsuda burst through the door.

"Wow! I am so drunk!" he declared happily, and made a beeline for the open balcony.

The men gaped as he swayed and staggered past them, and the models—who weren't in on the plan—gave authentic gasps of surprise.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for," continued Matsuda, swinging himself up precariously onto the railing. "The Taro Matsui show!"

"Hey, stop that!" cried one of the men. "You're drunk!"

Jubilee didn't wait to see the rest. She knew what was going to happen, and she was ready to get out of there. With everyone's attention fixed firmly on Matsuda, she quietly slipped out the door, then ran for the stairwell.

She'd have to beat the Yotsuba men to the bottom of the building.

* * *

Bursting out of the apartment complex's entrance, Jubilee rushed out onto the sidewalk just in time to hear Wedy's high-pitched shriek.

"Oh, no!" Wedy cried loudly and dramatically, running up to a body on the ground. "Someone, call an ambulance!" She gave Jubilee a sharp glance upon seeing her, and shooed her away with one hand.

There were little to no onlookers in the street as of yet. Jubilee looked around, and spied the ambulance waiting on the corner. She ran over to it, flung open a side door and climbed in.

"My dear," said Watari from the driver's seat. "This was not a part of the plan."

Jubilee shrugged, grabbing a sweater from her purse to wrap around her bare shoulders. The night had gotten cold. "It won't hurt it," she said dismissively.

"Says who?" said L's voice sharply from the back of the ambulance, making her jump nearly a foot in the air.

She whirled around, meeting the detective eye to eye. He was wearing paramedic gear and the closest thing to a scowl she had ever seen on him. Beside him stood Light in similar attire.

Trying to recover from her shock at his presence, she gestured wildly at L. " _This_ isn't part of the plan either! You didn't say _you_ would be here!"

"I didn't say I wouldn't." He glared at her, then reached over her to turn a knob on the dashboard. "No matter now," he said dismissively, underneath the roar of a siren that suddenly started to blare. "Time to drive to the scene, Watari. Miss Amachi, please keep your head down and stay out of sight."

Grumbling, Jubilee tugged the hood of her sweater over her head and slumped down low in her seat. If she had known she'd have to be cooped up with him for the entire ride back, she might have thought twice about leaving Misa's place prematurely.

Within minutes they had reached the spot where Wedy was and proceeded to load the body—which was Aiber, hanging limp and wearing a dark wig—onto a stretcher in the back of the ambulance. Shutting the doors to the vehicle behind themselves, L motioned for Watari to drive and they sped off, back to headquarters.

Aiber sat up on the stretcher, pulled off the wig and shook out his blonde locks. "Well, that was a boring and crappy role to play," he remarked.

Light turned to L. "We're sure Matsuda's okay?"

"We didn't see another body on the ground, did we?" answered L. "I think it's safe to say that Mr. Yagami successfully caught him with a mattress on the floor directly beneath Misa's, as planned. They should be rendezvousing with us at headquarters shortly." He sat back, biting his thumb. "While I'm aware of the fact that we are short-handed, I'm not very pleased that I had to go out and do this sort of thing myself. Matsuda has a lot to answer for."

Jubilee glanced back at L. The man looked like a ghost, his pale skin blending in with the white of the paramedic uniform. Why _had_ he come and done this himself? He clearly wasn't comfortable being out in society. He could have just as easily sent Mogi. _We are, unfortunately, short-staffed,_ he had told her earlier, and she had resented him for that fact because she had to suffer for it and he didn't—or so she thought. Yet here he was.

"And you, Miss Amachi," the detective continued. Jubilee's head snapped up. "What you chose to do just now was reckless. Fortunately there were virtually no other civilians on the street at this hour, but you ran at least a five percent chance of raising suspicion. Add to that the possibility that any of those men might have noticed your disappearance, despite the ensuing chaos, and that raises the percentage to fifteen. While that may sound low to you, again, as I emphasized earlier, there are lives at stake here."

Any charitable thoughts she had started formulating toward him a second ago instantly dissipated in the wake of his criticism. She knew that he was probably right, but it didn't make her feel any better.

She crossed her arms and grumbled, "I just had to get out of there, alright?" She didn't elaborate more. The discomfort of being thrown into a scenario that echoed her past, combined with the awkward experience of preaching about love when she didn't even practice it herself, had been too much guilt for her to bear, putting her into fight or flight mode. And she had chosen to flee, out of fear of that guilt.

L said nothing for a moment, then replied, "Alright." A tense pause passed. "By the way," he said, pulling something out of his pocket and handing it over without looking at her. "Mail for you."

Jubilee stared at what he had placed in her hands. It was a postcard. "Mail?" she echoed. "Since when did I get mail?"

"You didn't, until recently," replied L. "We always had a post office box for any of your incoming mail to be forwarded to from your former residence at the Wakahisa Home. But it wasn't until today that you received anything. We picked it up on our way here."

"You picked up my mail for me on your way over to an undercover rescue mission in an ambulance," she said incredulously.

"Yes," said L, failing to see anything strange about the scenario. "It was on the way, and thus an efficient use of time."

Shaking her head, Jubilee turned back to the postcard. It was written in neat and feminine handwriting. Scanning down to the bottom, she saw that it was addressed from her old friend Christine. Surprised, she began to read.

 _Dear Julie,_

 _You have been in my thoughts and my prayers. I have often wondered how you and the kids are doing. Haru and I send our best. (We were married in December!) The other day, I was thinking of you when I happened across a page in our wedding album. There were two verses on that page. You know the first one because it's one of my favorites and I used to share it with the kids all the time: "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things…Love never fails." And the second one was: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18)._

 _It occurred to me that you always perfectly embodied that second verse, without even knowing it. Even when you felt the most freaked out about what could go wrong at Wakahisa, you still forged ahead and came out of it all with great success. I always admired you for that. The kids do too, and the reason they love you so much is because you've always ended up choosing love for them over your own fears. And since you've got that Love in you, you can never fail…no matter how things may look. I just thought that you should know that. Hope all is well and that everyday is still an adventure!_

 _All my love,_

 _Christine_

Jubilee lowered the card to her lap, her hand trembling with emotion. Guiltily she wondered if Christine would still think all those things about her if she knew how ungraciously she had been handling all her newfound feelings for a certain enigmatic detective.

 _Love never fails…_

The words repeated themselves in her head, over and over, until she heard them loud and clear and realized that Hellenos was speaking to her. She looked up at him. He smiled down at her, perched between her and Watari.

 _ **Love never fails,**_ he repeated. _**But, it is still a choice. What will you choose…fear, or love?**_

 _Fear or love?_ She looked away, staring out the window into the dark streets that were zooming past. This whole time she had been suffocated by her fears—fear of her feelings, fear of getting hurt, fear of her own guilt and unworthiness. It was driving her crazy. But she didn't see a way out of it.

She had feelings for someone whom she neither wanted to have feelings for, nor whom returned those feelings—and what could that mean for her besides embarrassment and humiliation, pain and rejection? Furthermore, one day this case would be over and she would be free to leave, and L would go back to whatever hole or lair he had come from, and where would that leave her? How was she to recover from this mad case of Stockholm Syndrome, should she ever accept her feelings? On top of it all, she was a former criminal with a shameful past. And on top of _that_ , she sucked at saying sorry and was, in general, rather mean-spirited towards him and most people on the whole. Even if things were different, even if he _was_ somehow capable of—of what? Of feeling?—then how could she ever reconcile with him and with herself who she had been…and who she still, so often, was? He was, after all, the supposed epitome of justice.

 _What will you choose?_

She looked down at the postcard in her hands again. _There is no fear in love_ , said one line _._ The words suddenly glowed before her vision, highlighted like bright stars in a dark night. Could it be possible that, by finally making a choice between the two—fear or love—one would truly cast out the other?

It suddenly occurred to her that all of her fear had been, quite successfully, casting out all of her love. And she had let it, because she hadn't wanted to feel that love. Because she had been afraid of it.

 _But…Love never fails._ She paused as that notion struck her afresh. _Do I really believe that?_

She suddenly remembered all of the children at Wakahisa. She remembered Meirin. She remembered the sensation that swelled in her heart when she watched the little girl sleep, along with all the other little ones. It was the same sensation she had felt blooming in her heart as she listened to Watari tell stories of a lonely little boy with wild black hair and big gray eyes. It was the same sensation she felt when she saw that boy, now a man, for who he truly was, in spirit and in truth. It was love.

Would she choose it?

A clear image of that little boy suddenly formed in her mind's eye now. His skin was even paler, his black hair as unkempt as it would become in adulthood, and his gray eyes were the same—deep, intense, and wise…but hollow, somehow. Like he was missing something. Like he had lost something.

It was the same look in the eyes of every child at Wakahisa.

But the gray haze around him was thinner than she had ever seen it to be. It looked like a distant storm cloud that had only just begun to form…and the colors that spilled from him were more dazzling than lightning. Even amidst the storm of pain and loss that he had weathered, his spirit shone forth like a star.

And in that moment she suddenly knew, without a doubt, and with unwavering conviction, that she fully, wholeheartedly loved him…and that she did not regret it.

"Well done, Wedy," she suddenly heard L's voice say behind her. He was on the phone. "Your successful infiltration of the Yotsuba Group will help us narrow down who Miss Amachi should be monitoring, and make things much easier for her. I thank you for that." A pause. "Yes. See you back at headquarters."

He ended the call and glanced up. Jubilee had turned in her seat and was looking at him. "That was Wedy, as you may have heard," he began. "Surveying footage should be less of a headache for you now, since your main focus will only need to be on the room with the eight—" He stopped and gave her a strange look. "Are you alright, Miss Amachi?"

Jubilee suddenly realized that she was staring at him and grinning like an idiot. From beyond L's gray haze, she could see streams of golden light flecked with rainbow hues flow out of him, lightening the shadows on his face and brightening his eyes. He looked beautiful. And for once, she didn't feel bad about herself for being able to see that. In fact, she didn't feel bad about anything at all. It made her positively giddy.

"Yes," she said, still smiling. "Yes, I am."

L looked doubtful but said, "…Alright then."

His skepticism did nothing to dispel her mood. In fact, every fear of what he might be thinking of her—and what others thought of her, and what she thought of herself—fell away completely in that moment.

 _There is no fear in love._

"Thank you, by the way," she added.

He gave her another look, this time like she had put her shoes on her hands instead of her feet. But she didn't care. "You're welcome," he said in a measured tone.

She turned away then to face the windshield, still grinning. The street in front of them suddenly opened up before her vision with columns of benevolent light and swirls of gentle color. Billowing softly around her was the pink mist, now tinged with gold; and somewhere in the recesses of her mind she heard a sweetly melodic, high tone. Beside her, Hellenos was shining.

 _ **You can see,**_ he remarked with a grin.

Around her she felt the light of every soul, both those riding in the vehicle with her and, more distantly, those inside the passing buildings on the street. Each glowed like an ember, luminous and bright. She felt the fatherly warmth emanating from Watari beside her, the affectionate sentiment of brotherhood for Light in the back, and the tender feeling of pure love for L sitting beside him. Even Misa and Matsuda—that blessed idiot!—came to mind, and she could feel nothing but the fondest of friendship for each of them.

It was an astounding sensation. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry from the sudden sense of joy and complete freedom that she felt.

 _I can see,_ she agreed happily. She turned to gaze out the window, on a world that was suddenly shining with wonder and beauty. She thought she saw some of the columns of light wave cheerfully at her as she zoomed by in the ambulance. Her smile widened. _I can finally see._

Somewhere within her mind's eye, a gentle and familiar face resurfaced from beneath old, stale memories, and became alive once more. It smiled at her with a look of utmost love. It was the face of the one she had once called her home—and in its expression she found herself completely safe, utterly secure, and fully understood. She gazed upon the face with a sense of awe and sudden realization.

 _Perfect Love casts out all fear,_ she thought wonderingly. And then, meekly, _Hello again…Dad._

The smile broadened. Beneath it, arms widened. _**Welcome home, Daughter.**_

* * *

 _Footnotes: I have food to eat that you know not of (John 4:32). Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8)._

 **A/N: Guys. This chapter was. So. Hard. To write. And by that I don't even mean that it was hard to figure out what to write, or hard to string it together in the right way. I mean that everything came against my efforts to complete this. There was even a literal fire that I helped put out (nobody's hurt, by the way) on a day that I originally wanted to devote to writing, and my subsequent fatigue knocked me out for the rest of the day. That's the most extreme example, but more than that, I noticed that all the obstacles Jubilee was facing up until this pivotal turning point of her choosing love over fear were obstacles that were manifesting in my own life as well. And what's weird is that I'm not saying my experiences inspired the writing of her obstacles in this chapter. I'm saying that I wrote a portion of the chapter some days or weeks in advance, and then those things would happen to me in some way, shape or form. Her fighting off a panic attack before having to undertake a sudden unexpected, big and frightening task. Her being haunted by her past and the terror of her history somehow repeating itself, whether through inevitable wrongdoing or inevitable loss. Her feeling relentlessly tormented by the voice of fear and what-ifs over the possibility of stepping off the edge of what she knew (fear) and into the unknown (love).**

 **It's hard to write when you're facing those things. Sometimes it's hard to even make it to your laptop or pen and paper before the next sequence of crazy comes swooping in! But, it's also hard to let go of all of one's fears (What if I get hurt if I trust? What if I lose if I love? What if I just. Can't. Handle it...Whatever it is that is coming next?) and let oneself fall into complete faith that all will be well, no matter how things might look right now. And I suddenly realized, that that's what Jubilee needs to do (and what I, the author, was already _intending_ for her to do all along)...and what _I_ need to do as well. Maybe I'm crazy, but I was like, I need to finish writing this part ASAP because my stalling to write her pivotal turning point is somehow directly correlated to my stalling to step into my own pivotal turning point. **

**So there. It's done. The chapter is written. The scary new change in my life has been stepped into. Jubilee has chosen love. And I have chosen trust. And you know what?**

 **All is well.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Bam, update! Merry Christmas!**

* * *

Chapter 24

When Jubilee stopped by L's and Light's side of the desk to deliver a plate of sweet pastries to them both, for the third afternoon in a row since Matsuda's rescue, L stopped her. She had been about to move on to share more of Watari's baked delights with the rest of the task force, when the detective's soft voice made her pause.

"Miss Amachi."

She turned. "Yes?"

L measured her with a long, emotionless gaze. She met his look calmly—and with what was probably a bit of a goofy smile. There was an unexplainable freedom to letting oneself be in love without expecting anything in return.

After a moment, he finally spoke. "You have been unusually…" He searched for the right word. "Charitable, lately." He let the statement sit for a second in an invitation for Jubilee to respond.

Beside them, Hellenos chuckled. _**It's no wonder the words 'charity' and 'love' are often interchangeable in the Word.**_

Jubilee's smile grew. "Yes," she said again, in agreement with both L and the angel.

The detective paused once more, casting a glance at the plate next to him—which was piled full of his favorite treats. Contrasting colors flurried around him, indicating his conflict between being pleased by the sweets and wary of Jubilee's sudden and unhidden attention towards him.

"Are you well?" he asked at last.

Light turned away from his monitor to face the detective. "You could just be grateful and say thank you," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Like this." He turned to Jubilee, the usual yellow glow around him brightening into gold as he addressed her. "Thank you, Julie, for thinking of me and bringing me a snack. It was really considerate of you." He turned back to L with a smirk. "See, not so hard to be civilized, is it?"

Jubilee burst out laughing at the subtle glower that L sent Light's way, which served to enhance the hues around the detective with a coppery bronze. "I've never been better," she said to the brooding L. "And you're welcome, Light," she said to the younger man with a grin. Turning back to L, she asked cheerfully, "Anything else, boss?"

L narrowed his eyes at her, clearly annoyed at her flippant attitude. "You are not letting… what we discussed, distract you from the case, are you?"

Light cut in again, saving Jubilee from having to answer. "Come on, Ryuzaki, give it a rest," he said good-naturedly. "Are you really going to complain that she's bringing you sweets?"

L's brows knit together. "Well…no," he conceded at last. He sounded almost sulky.

Jubilee felt her heart swell for the detective—inexplicably, for such was the nature of love that his dour mood towards her could not quell it, and even his pouting seemed endearing to her.

 _ **Ah, human love,**_ chuckled Hellenos again. _**How much like the Father's it can be, when it is found.**_

 _Is that how it is?_ thought Jubilee. _I guess I kind of get it now._ She gave the detective another tender smile, which he returned with a blank stare.

"Then I better keep doing it, hadn't I?" she said to him. With that, she moved on with her platter of pastries, Hellenos gliding along beside her.

Behind her she heard Light chuckle as she walked away. A faint undertone of happy bells seemed to adorn the sound. Lately she had been noticing all kinds of new qualities in the people around her. Misa radiated a lovely childlikeness that sometimes had a hint of music to it as well, the way Light did. Practically every time Jubilee was in her company, her ears tingled with what sounded like a faint mixture of gentle chimes and laughing children. Even with the other task force members, Jubilee couldn't help but take note of the light in their eyes when they smiled, or the glow of excitement in their voices when they found a new lead in the case.

She was starting to see Light, in particular, as a younger brother of sorts. The boy had struck her as kind and reliable ever since they began working together, but now she had a new appreciation for him, both for his dedication to the case and for the way he always looked out for others. She thought of how quickly he had jumped to her defense just now in the conversation with L. Then she remembered something else, and a pang pierced her heart.

 _That boy is the first Kira,_ she reminded herself. Best not to become too fond of him.

Hellenos _hmm_ ed softly next to her but she didn't pay him much mind as she continued her rounds with the pastries. After a quick run upstairs to Misa's room—where she dropped off a small plate of low-carb brownies—she returned to her workstation, a smile tugging at her lips from seeing the swirls of colorful delight that had decorated her friend's features after being handed the treat.

 _Friend._ That word had been popping up in her mind involuntarily and often of late. Yes, she had begun to see everyone at headquarters as her friends…had actually begun to _love_ them as her friends. And that included Light and Misa just as much as it included L.

Light. The first Kira. And, if L's deductions were correct, that would make Misa the second Kira.

Sudden uncertainty hit her, along with a tinge of dread. She didn't want her friends to go to prison, even if they were murderers. Was that wrong of her?

 _ **That is called compassion, child,**_ said Hellenos. _**It's something that comes with having the Father's love in you.**_

She bit her lip. _Hellenos,_ she thought worriedly. _What will happen to Light and Misa once we prove that they are Kira?_

Hellenos' expression became more somber. _**There is compassion and mercy,**_ he said. _**But there is also truth and justice.**_ He looked down at Jubilee. _**Humans often do not know how to balance one side with the other…but both sides are of the Father.**_

"This is disgusting," Soichiro muttered from a few feet away. A live stream of the men from Yotsuba was playing across the large plasma screen overhead. Their voices were a quiet but audible murmur as they sat across from each other at a round table and debated over which business officials to have Kira kill next. There were seven of them now since, as they had revealed in their discussion earlier, Kira had recently offed one of them—Hatori was his name—due to wavering loyalty.

"How can they talk about murder so casually?" the former chief of police continued. He turned to L then. "I think the evidence for their guilt is clear. It's more than enough to get a warrant for their arrest. We should go in and apprehend them, before any more innocent people die."

"That would be premature," replied L, not looking up from his dessert. "If we were to arrest them now, before their named targets died, then we would not have hard proof. Furthermore, since we have not yet apprehended Kira, we would lose whatever leads we have gained on him so far, and have to start this case all over again from square one."

Soichiro's eyes narrowed. "So you're saying that you are willing to let innocents die, just to ensure that you catch Kira?"

L didn't miss a beat. "Yes."

This time it was Light who objected. "No! We can't just sit by and let them kill more people. I won't allow it!"

This time L did look up. So did Jubilee, taking note of the unwavering line that had formed over the Light's head. An uncomfortable knot formed in the pit of her stomach. The boy was so earnest, so genuine. How could someone like him, who clearly valued human life, have been the first Kira?

And yet she knew without a doubt that he had been.

"I've got an idea," Light continued. "L, I need to borrow your name and a phone that can't be traced."

L appraised him silently for a moment, then nodded at a landline beside him. "Use this one."

Light stepped towards the phone, grabbing a list of phone numbers off the stack of documents that contained Yotsuba intel. He surveyed the list quickly. "Let's see," he murmured to himself. "The one who is least likely to be Kira, and still hold some influence over the rest of the board, is…" He looked back up at the Yotsuba men onscreen. "Namikawa," he said at last, at the same time that Matsuda excitedly yelled, "Ooi!" Soichiro gave Matsuda a reproving look. Light ignored them, picking up the phone to dial a number.

Onscreen, one of the men's cell phone rang. He fished the mobile out of his pocket and answered.

"Hello?" His voice was just barely audible from the screen.

"This is L," said Light into the phone. "I have cameras and wiretaps planted in that room, and I am recording footage of the entire meeting. Your opening topic was the death of Hatori, and now you are debating who to kill next."

On the screen, Namikawa's eyes widened slightly.

"If you aren't Kira," Light continued, "Or someone directly connected to Kira, then let's make a deal. Delay the deaths of the individuals you've discussed. If you do this, and cooperate with us from now on, then you and everyone in that room who is not Kira will not be charged for your crimes, under the assumption that you were threatened by Kira into being subordinates."

"I see," said the Namikawa onscreen, his face now expressionless.

"If you reveal this conversation," Light went on, "It will cause a panic and be of no benefit to you. Everyone will be apprehended. But my goal is to go one on one with Kira. If I win, you will be acquitted. If Kira wins, you get to carry on with your life. It's no loss to you either way. But it will be a loss to you if all of you were caught now." He paused for a moment to let the proposition sink in, before finishing, "That is all."

Namikawa nodded and said, loud enough for his colleagues to hear, "Very good. On Monday then." He hung up.

"Who was that, Namikawa?" asked one of the other men onscreen.

"Just some guys from the office," said Namikawa, calmly pocketing his phone. "They messed up a few records that will need to be fixed on Monday. Sorry for interrupting. Let's get back on topic." He leaned forward on the table and steepled his fingers. "Let's give our sources one month to try and find L. After that, we'll continue the killings. But for now, getting L out of the picture should be our top priority if we want to keep doing this without being caught."

Around the table, men murmured and then slowly nodded their heads in agreement.

"Impressive," said L quietly from his seat. His eyes were glued to the screen. "You managed to not only stall the killings, but now we have a mole in the Yotsuba group as well." He turned slowly to Light. "If anything were to ever happen to me, you'd be good enough to succeed me in the title of L."

His statement made everyone in the room start, especially Light.

L continued, "Would you be willing to do that…take over my position, if I were to die?"

Jubilee noted a wavering line over L's head that seemed to flicker unsteadily. His words about Light were true—but his motives for stating them were not. _And I should think so,_ she thought, her brow furrowed. _He knows Light's the first Kira! What is he doing?_

It was Light who, after a moment, answered her question. "You're testing me, aren't you, Ryuzaki?" he said, turning away. It was a rhetorical question. "Ryuzaki still believes I'm Kira," he murmured, his back on the rest of the task force as he addressed them. "If I answer yes, then he'll have reason to believe that this was my plan all along—to get rid of him and take his place, so that there would be no more obstacles in my way. If I answer no, then he'll assume that I lost my memory of being Kira, but plan on having Kira's power return to me eventually once I am safe from suspicion. Either way...as Kira, if I also gained the title of L, then I would be able to kill as many people as I wanted to, without hindrance, and with the entire police force unknowingly backing me. I would be unstoppable." There was a beat, and then he turned around to face everyone. "In other words, Ryuzaki believes that I wasn't being controlled at all. He thinks that I was Kira from the start…and that I had a plan to pass on Kira's power, while arranging for it to come back to me once I've been cleared."

There was a long moment of silence. Then, L replied, "Again…very impressive. You figured out exactly what I've been thinking all this time."

Light turned away again. "I'm not interested in your title," he said stoically. The yellow around him had started to darken.

"That proves nothing," said L. "After all, you've just revealed your plan."

Light whirled back around, suddenly taking the pale man by the shoulders.

"Do you really believe that I'm Kira, Ryuzaki?" he demanded. "Do I look like that kind of person to you?"

 _No,_ thought Jubilee, her heart aching. _No he doesn't._

L returned Light's blazing expression with an impassive gaze. "Yes," he answered quietly. "I have always thought so."

Before Jubilee could even blink, Light's fist was in L's face and L had already retaliated with a foot to Light's jaw.

"Hey!" cried Matsuda, shoving the two apart just as Soichiro and Jubilee jumped forward. "Break it up!" Soichiro took a hold of Light by the shoulders, and Jubilee pulled L's swivel chair back as Matsuda stood between the two, a hand held up to each of them. "You two need to stop fighting!" he scolded. "We're supposed to be working together here!"

"That's right," agreed Soichiro. "And Ryuzaki, I don't appreciate your insinuations about my son."

L wasn't listening. Jubilee could see the bright light of a new thought appear over his head.

"Working together?" murmured the detective, then repeated the phrase softly to himself. "Working together…"

"Ryuzaki?" said Jubilee worriedly, reaching a hand tentatively towards his jaw where Light had landed a blow. Perhaps one too many punches to the head had knocked a few IQ points off of the genius. "Are you alri—"

L suddenly stood up, startling her. "Working together," he said again, to no one in particular. "That is the key. Light, please accompany me to Misa Amane's room. We have something important to discuss with her, and she's more likely to listen with you around. Also, we are handcuffed, so you have no choice because I am going." With that he began striding swiftly towards the stairs, dragging a protesting Light behind him. Then suddenly he stopped. "And you, Miss Amachi," he added behind his shoulder. "She is rather fond of you as well. You may accompany us." He started walking again.

Jubilee, along with the rest of the task force, gaped after him for a moment. Then she was hurrying after them, with Hellenos gliding after her.

* * *

When the three of them entered Misa's room, there was no preamble.

"Misa Amane," said L without greeting as he strode up to where the pop star was sitting, tugging Light unceremoniously behind him. Anchoring a foot on the arm of the couch, he leaned down to peer into her face. "Do you love Light?"

"What?" Misa looked equally as confused as Light and Jubilee did from where they were standing behind L. "Well, yeah, of course I do!"

"But you also worship Kira, as you revealed during your interrogation," said L without pause. "So, between the two of them, who would you choose?"

"Huh?" Misa's eyebrows shot up, then furrowed downwards again as she leaped up from the couch and ran to Light, entwining him possessively in her arms. "Light, obviously! I'm grateful to Kira for avenging my parents' deaths after they were murdered, but that's not love. I choose Light, all the way!"

"But Light is trying to catch Kira," L pointed out. "Isn't that right, Light?"

"Of course," said Light, looking slightly annoyed.

"He's trying to catch him," L said again to Misa, as though it had not just been said. "Now what will you do?"

"Light's my boyfriend," Misa declared with a defiant pout. "If he wants to catch Kira…then I want him to catch Kira."

"Then," returned L without missing a beat, "Would you be willing to help him by joining the investigation?"

In the brief silence that ensued, Jubilee thought she could've heard a pin drop. Then, both her and Light were protesting at the same time.

"Wait, you can't—" she began, just as Light interjected with, "Ryuzaki, what are you thinking?"

But Jubilee could see that they were both already too late. The pink aura around Misa was bubbling up around her small form like cotton candy, and had taken on a noble blue hue at the fringes. The sound of chimes around her intensified into what sounded to Jubilee like a joyful war cry, if such a thing were possible.

 _ **I think she's going to say yes,**_ quipped Hellenos unnecessarily.

"Yeah!" the blonde girl announced happily. "Misa-Misa will do anything for Light!"

"To answer your question, Light, here's the plan," began L, as Jubilee looked on helplessly. "One of the 'sources' that the Yotsuba group thinks they have is a detective by the name of Eraldo Coil, who is in fact one of my alter egos…but they don't know that."

"You have an alter ego?" said Jubilee, amazed. Was there no end to the string of things that he had in common with a shady superhero?

"We'll have Aiber pose as Coil," L went on, ignoring her. "And he will tell those seven at Yotsuba that he learned Misa Amane may be able to help them identify L…and that L detained her for questioning in the past, on charges of being the second Kira."

"Which is true," Misa pointed out sulkily.

"Then," continued L, paying Misa no heed either, "Because of Matsuda's screw up earlier while pretending to be Misa's manager, they will agree to hire her as a promotional model to appear in their commercials, with the intention to get close to her and ask her questions."

"Ohhh," cried Misa. "I see! So Misa will be going undercover to spy on them!"

"It's too dangerous," Light managed to get a word in at last, echoing Jubilee's concerns.

"Aww!" Misa turned on him delightedly. "Are you worried for me?"

"Of course he is," cut in Jubilee. "And so am I. Ryuzaki, we can't just send her in like that. If they think that Misa can reveal L's identity to them, then we don't know what means they might use to try and get it out of her."

"Don't worry, Misa-Misa won't say anything under any kind of torture!" said Misa, pumping a tiny fist in the air that shot through some of the cotton candy fluff around her which only Jubilee could see.

"I can attest to that," said L, his expression deadpan.

"And," added Misa, her eyes shining, "It's nothing if it's for Light." The pink fluff took on an even rosier hue and the blue became even bolder, and for a brief moment Jubilee's worries for her friend fell away from the sheer force of fearless devotion radiating from the other girl.

Light took Misa by the shoulders. "Misa, you're forgetting that Kira can control people's actions," he told her very seriously. "What if he uses his power to force you to talk, and then kills you once you reveal L's identity? They won't need you anymore once they find L."

"Oh," said Misa, her eyes widening. The blue around her faded just a tinge. "Well, I…wouldn't like that so much."

"You all are forgetting something else," said L, coming forward. "If we win, Misa won't die."

" _If_ we win," Jubilee burst out, coming back to her senses.

"Besides," L continued, cutting her off, "As long as Light and I are handcuffed, we share the same fate. If I die, he dies too. In that case, Misa is the one who will grieve the most." Jubilee felt a pang at being blatantly omitted in this statement, but L gave her no time to express it. Turning to Misa, he held out a hand in inquiry. "It's either we both die, or we catch Kira. Which is it?"

Misa pumped another fist in the air, completely re-enthused as the blue fringe came surging back. "We catch Kira!" she cried. "I wouldn't dream of living in a world without Light."

"Yes, that would be dark," L pointed out.

Light shot L a furious look. "Cut it out! This is serious."

"I am being completely serious," returned L. "We have only a month to catch Kira. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Count Misa in!" declared Misa cheerfully.

As the smaller girl embraced Light and proceeded to give him a string of assurances, Jubilee turned to L. "You've managed to convince her without adequately addressing the issue of her safety at all," she muttered under her breath.

L didn't bother to look at her. "Take a page from Miss Amane's book, Miss Amachi, and have a little faith."

The statement stung, like a small dart piercing through the protective layer that had been hovering over Jubilee's mind and heart for the past three days. Around her, the bright colors surrounding her friends turned slightly less vivid.

More loudly, L added so that the others could hear, "Indeed, I am impressed by Misa Amane. Her bravery and love for you, Light, know no equal."

Jubilee could see the wavering line over L's head, could see that he was manipulating the situation to his advantage and, if the brightening hues around Misa were any indication, was succeeding. But it gave her little comfort.

 _ **I**_ _love_ _ **you**_ _,_ the unbidden thought came. _**I**_ _would grieve the most if you died_. So why was he only pointing it out in someone else?

The thoughts appalled her almost as soon as they entered her mind. She _knew_ why he was doing it. He was simply manipulating Misa to do what he wanted. That was all. No need to become petty.

"Wow, Ryuzaki," said Misa, her eyes wide and bright. "I think I may have misunderstood you all this time. I said a bunch of not so nice things about you…but it sounds like you really do get me."

"Yes," agreed L. He turned to no one in particular, addressing the ceiling. "Misa Amane is the perfect and most worthy woman for Light."

"Yay!" cheered Misa joyously. She ran over to the detective and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, startling everyone—L most of all.

"Thank you, Ryuzaki," chirped Misa, running back to take her place beside Light and clinging to his arm. "I won't let you down!"

L was taking a second longer than usual to regain his composure. Putting a hand to his cheek, he looked after Misa in a slight daze and murmured, "I could actually fall for you."

This time, the line over his head did not waver, and Jubilee felt her heart crash upwards into her throat.

 _What?!_

"Eh, let's not go that far," said Misa. "But, we could be friends!"

"Friends?" echoed L, like the word was foreign to him. Then, schooling his features back into a stoic expression, he gave a slight nod. "Very well."

"Yay!" cried Misa again, then ran forward and grabbed both L and Jubilee by the hands, pulling them into a group hug along with Light. "We'll all be the best of friends," she declared, then gave a squeal of excitement. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

"Yes, fun," repeated L, in a failed attempt to mimic the girl's enthusiasm. "Yay."

Jubilee wasn't listening to any of it. In the midst of her sudden distress, another vision had formed within her mind's eye. It was of Light, Misa and L, standing on the sidewalk outside of To-Oh University in the middle of the afternoon. L was staring at Misa with an uncharacteristically starstruck expression. Jubilee instantly understood this to be their first meeting.

" _You're a lucky guy, Light,"_ L was saying to the other man. _"I've been a fan of Miss Amane's ever since the August issue of Eighteen."_

To Jubilee's horror, there was just the slightest hint of a gentle pink mist emanating from the detective—the same shade as the one that hovered over herself, every time she was in his proximity.

 _No,_ she thought, aghast. _That? From_ _ **him**_ _?_ And then, as a shocked afterthought, _L reads pop culture magazines?!_

The vision continued, with L soon recomposing himself back into his usual unreadable demeanor, before proceeding to apprehend Misa for questioning on suspicion of being the second Kira. But Jubilee hardly paid any attention to the rest of it. She was still stuck on L's initial reaction to the young pop star.

Up until this point, she had assumed that L simply had no interest in women whatsoever. She hadn't realized it then, but this had given her some measure of comfort over his rejection of her. But now, knowing that there existed women whom he preferred—whom he preferred over _her…_

"Julie?"

The vision in her mind's eye suddenly dissipated and was replaced by a view of Misa's large, brown eyes staring up into her own and filled with concern. Next to her, L and Light were also giving Jubilee curious looks.

"You look sad," the blonde said. "Is it because you are worried for Misa-Misa?" The line over her head showed that her concern for Jubilee was genuine.

"I—yes," said Jubilee, her throat dry. She wasn't sure if she was lying or not. She had been worried for Misa's safety, yes, but now her anxiety was also tinged with an unbidden resentment towards the other girl. A cloud of uneasy green wafted over Jubilee, much to her dismay, and further obscured the lights and colors around her friends.

 _What is wrong with me?_ she thought, disgusted with herself. She stared down at the floor as she tried to forcibly brush away her bitter feelings. _There are bigger things to be worrying about right now._ Like the fact that people were dying. Like the fact that Misa could be next, if they weren't careful. Like the fact that Light was the first Kira, and Misa was probably the second Kira, and sooner or later she was probably going to lose them as her friends.

But none of these thoughts made her feel any better. Furthermore, trying to force herself to stop feeling what she felt only seemed to make it worse. And being reminded of what—or who—she could lose next, only served to pain her.

Loss. It seemed like the past eight years were full of it, and like she couldn't get away from it. Was she going to lose Misa as a friend even now, before anything had yet happened to her, due to her own petty jealousy?

 _Not if I can help it_ , she suddenly decided. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up into Misa's eyes, willing herself to see past the green haze. The other girl gazed back at her, her expression innocent and entirely guileless. Jubilee felt her heart ache. Misa was just like a child. What was more, she was her friend. How could she be mad at her, for something that wasn't even her fault? And for the same reason…how could she be mad at L? Hadn't she herself developed an attraction towards him without meaning to? What he may or may not have felt did not change who he was. L was still L, and Misa was still Misa—people whom she loved. She remembered how L had given her encouragement to overcome her fears, during the rescue of Matsuda, even though all she could manage to do at the time was resent and insult him. _I trust and believe in you_ , he had said—and this had been without the ulterior motive of any attraction. She thought of all the times Misa had tried, in her own way, to cheer her up or extend companionship to her, even when Jubilee herself had neither appreciated nor sought it out.

In that instant, Jubilee made the decision that, from now on, she only wanted to see what was true, and not what her tumultuous emotions tried to dictate to her. Slowly she heard the faint chorus of chimes and laughing children return, and saw the pink aura around Misa brighten again, dispelling the green haze around herself. Beside Misa, a golden glow returned to Light along with an undertone of bells, and vivid colors swirled over L once more as clarity returned to her vision. This time, the hues around the detective appeared even clearer, brighter and more beautiful than they ever had before. Jubilee found herself smiling at L, in tenderness and a kind of happy relief.

 _Love casts out all fear._

She let out the breath she had been holding. "Yes," she repeated, turning back to Misa. "I was worried about what could happen to you. I would hate to lose you. I—I'm tired of losing people," she heard herself add, this time to everyone in the room. Her own openness surprised her, but she kept going before her bravery could run out. "And I think that makes me lose sight of how things really are, sometimes. But…I'll have a little faith." She caught L's eye briefly. His expression didn't change, but the lights flowing forth from him seemed to soften slightly. She smiled again and continued, "So if you choose to do this, Misa…then I choose to believe in you."

Misa's face broke into a huge smile. "Julie is such a good friend!" she cried, clapping her hands before clasping them together over her heart. "Misa promises to keep herself safe…for you and for Light."

The line over the girl's head remained steadfast and true, and the bubblegum pink aura around her fluffed out a little bit to encompass Jubilee in its warmth. Jubilee felt the last vestiges of her previous bitterness melt away completely. The colors around her brightened even more then, and became even more vivid.

Before her Hellenos rematerialized, and it was only then that she realized he had disappeared from her sight at all. She sighed internally at herself. She should've known that jealousy would be a blinding emotion.

 _ **You lost sight of me sooner than that,**_ he pointed out, giving a nod in Misa's direction. _**Fear for others is still fear, you know. It's probably what made you susceptible to what came next. But,**_ he added with a smile, _**I see you managed to pull yourself out of it.**_ He gave her an appraising look then, as though peering straight through her head and into the cogs in her brain. _**Looks like you acquired a bit of an upgrade for yourself in the process.**_

"And you don't have to worry!" Misa continued, stepping forward and throwing her arms around Jubilee. "Julie will never lose Misa-Misa as her friend!"

Jubilee laughed and gratefully returned the embrace, noting that the straight line over Misa's head appeared clearer and sharper to her eyes than it ever had been. When she pulled back, however, she noticed the line doing something strange that she had never seen before. Though it stayed perfectly straight, it started to fade very slowly. As Jubilee watched, it disappeared entirely.

 _What does_ _that_ _mean?_ she wondered, as the others around her fell back into casual conversation. Even as she thought the question, sudden understanding flooded her mind and her smile fell.

Though Misa meant the words she had said now, they would prove to be untrue.

* * *

 **A/N (part 2): Well, I didn't manage to have it ready first thing in the morning under the Christmas tree with a bow on it, but it's Christmas day, and here it is! A new chapter at last! The timing was a bit of a coincidence, as so many things seem to be for me** — **yesterday, while finishing up this chapter, I literally thought it was still the 21st until someone graciously informed me otherwise** — **but it worked out perfectly. As Christine once said, in another story and another time, "Coincidences are just blessings shrouded in a veil of worldly logic."**

 **Some author-ly thoughts from the fangirl corner: It felt so weird writing that part when L reveals his slight infatuation for Misa, almost like it was OOC...except it's canon! Made me realize how 'my' version of L has his own style and quirks that, over time as the chapters go on, has evolved and become his own. I almost didn't include that part at all, but in the end decided that it worked.**

 **Thank you all, dear readers, for your saintly patience in waiting for an update. I've loved hearing from you, both through reviews and PMs. Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or what have you. And I hope you all take the opportunity to rejoice and celebrate a little, whether it's through sharing a meal with family or friends, giving a gift or seven, or watching a Christmas-y episode of a favorite anime.**

 **Love,**

 **The Authoress**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 _Misa stood before a bathroom mirror, small and pale. Behind her loomed a demon; tall, gray, and with purple, serpentine coils hanging off of its head. In its outstretched hand it held a small scrap of paper, the tip of which was touching Misa by the skin of her elbow._

 _Misa's eyes were wide with surprise, but not fear. Turning, she tilted her head back to gaze up at the demon, awed. The demon was speaking to her. Cocking her head to the side, Misa opened her mouth to reply…_

 _And then Misa was in a red sports car, next to a familiar looking man. Kyosuke Higuchi. He had a mad gleam in his eye as he parked the car and turned to face Misa._

 _"_ _ **I**_ _am Kira!" he declared. "And if you are truly the second Kira…then you shall be my wife. And we will rule this world together."_

 _"Fine with me," said Misa. A line over her head snapped in two, but then reformed itself and straightened when she said, "I_ _ **am**_ _the second Kira."_

 _Higuchi was on top of her an instant, leaning the passenger seat back all the way with a swift motion and a click. "Prove it," he whispered into her face._

 _Behind them in the rear seat, the demon from before sat, its large frame hunched over in the small quarters. It narrowed its eyes with a look of fierce, protective anger._

 _"Ginzo Kanabochi is the president of one our business rivals," continued Higuchi. "He also happens to bribe his employees. Kill him for me…and I'll know that you really are the second Kira."_

 _Misa, startled but once again showing no fear, leaned up on one elbow and retrieved a pen and scrap of paper from her purse…the same one that had touched her elbow earlier. She scribbled something onto it, then held it in front of Higuchi's face._

 _"There," she said. "In forty seconds, he will die." The line over her head wavered for a second, and started to snap._

 _Higuchi's eyes widened, as did the demon's in the back seat. Time seemed to slow, and in that moment the demon's thoughts became audible and clear._

 _ **Misa doesn't have her memories back yet,**_ thought the demon. Its voice sounded feminine. _**Until then, she cannot kill using paper from the Death Note.**_ Then, as though in sudden realization, _**So she's expecting me to do it for her.**_

 _In a quick but discreet motion, the demon produced a pen and a black book, flipping it open and giving the scrap in Misa's hands a cursory glance before copying down the name that was written on it—Ginzo Kanabochi—with perfunctory precision._

 _The broken line over Misa's head mended itself and became straight once more. Time sped back up. Forty seconds passed in an instant, as well as a phone call made by Higuchi. He turned to Misa with a look of awe and pure delight. A small, black shard had lodged itself in Misa's heart, but neither she nor Higuchi seemed to notice._

 _"Now your turn," said Misa, the corner of her lips turning upward. "Prove that you're Kira."_

 _In a swirl of motion and color, time sped up again. Hours passed, or maybe days. Higuchi's face appeared, mad with a desperate hunger for power._

 _"I'll make the deal!" he cried. "Give me the shinigami eyes!"_

 _His eyes began to gleam red, though the color was invisible to those around him. He gasped, and what could only be seen through his eyes suddenly appeared in the air—words and numbers floating over the heads of all the people around him. They were names and life spans._

 _Then Misa's eyes appeared. They, too, glowed red. Reflected in them were more names and numbers. In one eye was the reflection of a man. He was leering, a gleam of unmistakable malevolence and gleeful victory in his eyes. Over his head floated the words,_ _ **Light Yagami**_ _. There was no number under it._

 _In Misa's other eye was the reflection of another man. Above his head was the number,_ _ **7**_ _. In a moment it changed, like a countdown, to_ _ **6**_ _. And above that number, was a name._

 _ **L Lawliet.**_

 _And then the man was falling._

 _..._

Jubilee sat bolt upright in her bed, gasping.

"Hellenos," she wheezed. "Hellenos!"

The angel was by her side in an instant. _**What is it?**_

"I—I—" Jubilee was shaking, but as she took deep breaths her eyes suddenly cleared of their panic, to be replaced by puzzlement. "I don't know," she stammered at last. "I had—a nightmare, I think. I can't remember—"

Hellenos leaned closer and peered into her eyes, as though evaluating something within. When he drew back, his tone was somber but cryptic. _**Increase in sight can be overwhelming for the human mind,**_ was all he said.

"Ah," said Jubilee, feeling suddenly sleepy again. "I see." She looked at the clock beside her bed. It was 12:01 AM. She hadn't been asleep long. Yawning, she continued, "I admit I've been—" Yawn. "—Stressed, ever since seeing the line do the weird thing over—" Longer yawn. "—Misa's head." She reclined back into her pillows, her eyelids drooping. "I know people change, Hellenos," she slurred sleepily. "But I just hope…we can be friends, a little longer, until then. Me, and her, and everybody…" She drifted off as her eyes closed.

Beside her, the angel was silent as he bowed his head.

* * *

The following afternoon at work, Jubilee found herself increasingly anxious while awaiting Misa's return from her "job interview" with Yotsuba. As L had predicted, Yotsuba had taken the bait after being contacted by Aiber posing as Eraldo Coil. Now they were in the process of hiring Misa as their spokesperson.

"How long has it been?" Jubilee asked for about the third time, looking at the clock. "Shouldn't she be back by now? Do you think she's okay?"

"Relax, Julie," said Light. "It's only been a few hours since she's left. I'm sure she's fine. They're probably just about to wrap up and then Mogi will bring her back."

Jubilee stared at the clock again, doing some quick math. "I guess so," she mumbled.

L watched her quietly from where he crouched in his seat. "Why so anxious, Miss Amachi?"

"I don't know," said Jubilee. For a brief instant, the image of red eyes and a black shard flashed through her mind and she shivered. Then the thought dissipated, leaving her disoriented and confused. "I just…have a bad feeling I guess. It's probably nothing."

L only _hmm_ ed and said nothing more, but continued to eye her. Uncomfortable, Jubilee turned away. She couldn't see Hellenos at the moment, only barely registering a slight, shimmery haze beside her. Sighing, she tried to return her attention to her computer, where the video of the Yotsuba Group's last meeting replayed itself over and over again. The men had announced that they would not have another meeting until next week, so all she could do for now was try and discern as many clues as she could from this one video. But her current anxious state of mind hindered her from seeing much, if anything. She could make out the dark auras around each of the Yotsuba board members, she could see that the shades of darkness varied slightly from one to the other, and some even looked to have a different texture than others…but whenever Jubilee tried to squint and see more, it would all waver in and out of focus.

She sighed again. Wasn't her vision supposed to be upgraded now? It was true that her sight had been more vivid, and visions and images seemed to be dropping into her head with increasing frequency…but even so, fears and doubts didn't cease to have an effect on her ability to see, whenever they popped up. At the moment, she couldn't even see well enough to compare and contrast the men like L had taught her, much less discern whether Kira was among them. It occurred to her then that the Yotsuba men had looked just as unclear to her yesterday, during the live stream of their meeting, as they did now. That was when she had been worried over the fates of Light and Misa once this case progressed. What was it that Hellenos had said right afterwards? _**Fear for others is still fear.**_ And fear was blinding.

Suddenly the image of red-eyed man flashed through her mind again, too quickly for her to make out a face. _**I**_ _am Kira_ , the faint memory of a voice echoed through her head. She started, and the memory faded.

"What—?" she began to herself, when the sound of rattling handcuff links alerted her to L's presence by her side. She turned. He, at least, she could still see clearly, a cloud of soft light and gentle colors wafting around him as usual. She smiled at him. He gave her a nod and then, with his non-handcuffed hand, placed his plate of not-yet-eaten tiramisu before her.

"I find that when I am feeling troubled without explanation, that sweets tend to calm the nerves, and a small shot of caffeine gives clarity to the mind," he explained quietly. "Which makes this particular dessert an ideal remedy, and is why it is my favorite treat."

Jubilee stared at the plate for a second. "You're giving it to me?" she asked, dumbfounded. "Your _favorite_ treat? But…it's yours." The notion of L giving up his sweets for her seemed like an infant giving up its security blanket.

L shrugged. "I can have Watari make more."

Her head whipped around to him this time. "This was the last one? And you're _giving_ it to me?"

L raised an eyebrow in slight annoyance. "I am trying to, Miss Amachi, if you would accept it. You act as if I am some stingy miser who has never done anyone a good turn in my life."

Jubilee scrutinized him for a moment. The line over his head stayed mostly straight, but wavered slightly. Suddenly, she started laughing.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Forgive me for my ungracious attitude, and thank you for thinking of me." She grinned at him. "Even if it is because you're just trying to coax my subconscious to produce more clues for you."

L narrowed his eyes at her for a second, then sighed heavily. "Nothing gets past you, does it, Miss Amachi?"

"Must be because you're starting to rub off on me."

He gave her a sharp look. "I won't deny that that is a motive, nor have I ever pretended otherwise. Even so, Miss Amachi…that motive hinges on the confidence that you are an unsurpassable asset to this case."

This time the line over his head stayed straight and true. Jubilee softened and gave him another tender smile. "Good save, boss."

L eyed her a moment longer, seeming unnerved by her cheerful attitude. Then, turning, he said, "Let me know if you deduce anything of note," and went back to his seat.

"Will do," said Jubilee, turning to the tiramisu and digging in. Hellenos hovered beside her, now clearly visible, and grinning widely.

"What's so funny?" she mouthed to him under her breath, while savoring the sweetness on her tongue.

 _ **You are, Jubilee Jenkins,**_ he said. _**Did you know, that when you stop acting hostile to every living being around you, you are actually quite pleasant? I see why the Father delights in you so.**_

Jubilee was in the middle of wondering how to reply to such praise when the phone suddenly rang. Mogi's number appeared on the caller ID.

"Yes?" L answered, putting Mogi on speaker.

The officer sounded out of breath. "Ryuzaki!" he panted. "It's Misa. She—she gave me the slip."

A knot of dread form in Jubilee's stomach. The rest of the task force members stopped what they were doing and looked up.

L's eyes had narrowed. "What happened?" he asked.

"Well, Yotsuba hired her almost right away," Mogi began to explain. "The interview was probably no more than ten minutes and then they told her she had the job. Then she said she had to go to the bathroom, and—well, that's when she got away from me," he finished, sounding abashed.

L brooded over this information. "Was there anything of note that happened between her getting the job, and the moment she disappeared?" he asked.

There was a pause as Mogi thought. "Well, one of the Yotsuba guys caught her on our way out and asked her to go on a date with him. Kyosuke Higuchi, I think it was. He was really insistent and gave her his card, but she just deflected and told him maybe some other time."

"Hmm," intoned L, deep in thought. Then, in a stern tone, "Mogi. If all this happened only ten minutes after her interview, then what took you so long to call?

Mogi gave an embarrassed cough. "Ah, I'm sorry, sir, I—well, I thought I could catch up to her and find her somehow…I've been trying to for the last couple hours, time just got away from me, and…"

At that moment the main doors slid open, and Misa herself came sashaying in.

"I'm baaack," announced the blonde in a singsong voice. "And guess what? I got the job!"

Relief washed over Jubilee upon hearing her friend's return. She turned to welcome Misa, when a sudden wave of nausea hit her. She stopped, the forkful of tiramisu that she had been holding clattering down to her plate. Clutching her abdomen, she leaned forward and shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to keep down the contents in her stomach.

"Julie!" Jubilee heard the sound of Misa's footsteps running over to her. "I thought you'd be happier to see me," the younger girl teased, before her voice took on a more worried tone. "What's wrong?" she asked, reaching out a hand to touch Jubilee's shoulder. Jubilee's nausea increased, and she put a hand to her mouth.

A rattling of chain links and then L was by her side as well, silent but attentive.

"I—" Jubilee breathed hard through her fingers. "I just—felt sick all of a sudden—" She looked up to meet Misa's concerned gaze, and her eyes widened. There was a dark, oily tinge to the pink aura that usually surrounded the other girl. It was this that was making Jubilee feel the need to regurgitate the dessert L had just so generously offered her.

She squeezed her eyes shut again as her mind reeled. This was the same sensation she felt whenever she passed by a particularly powerful demon in the street, or walked through an area recently vacated by one. Their presence always left behind a greasy, sickening feel. But this was even stronger than usual.

A gentle touch on her shoulder from Hellenos lightened the weight of the nausea. She looked back up into Misa's eyes.

"Misa," she rasped. Her throat was tight from her earlier attempt to refrain from throwing up. "What happened—at your interview? Did you…" She didn't know what to ask next, but then the sudden, somehow familiar image of Misa standing before a mirror, and a tall, purple-haired demon reflected behind her, flashed momentarily through her mind. "—See something…strange?"

"What?" Misa's eyes became suddenly guarded. "What are you talking about? I didn't see anything, all that happened was that Yotsuba hired me, like I said." The line over her head snapped in two, showering both girls with black dust.

Still feeling woozy, Jubilee said without thinking, "You're lying."

A look of annoyance crossed Misa's face. "Okay, fine," snapped the blonde girl, straightening up and turning away from Jubilee to dig through her purse. "There's more, but you don't have to be so touchy about it. It's good news, and it was _supposed_ to be a surprise."

"What is it, Misa-Misa?" asked Matsuda, stepping forward to join them.

Misa whipped something out from her bag and held it behind her back, smiling secretly at the rest of them. "Guess who figured out who Kira is?" she sang, then held out the device, which was a sound recorder. "I did!" She hit a button on the device, and a man's voice came out of the speaker.

" _ **I**_ _am Kira!_ " said the voice. It was the same voice that belonged to the man known as Kyosuke Higuchi. " _And if you are truly the second Kira…then you shall be my wife. And we will rule this world together."_

The recording ended, followed by a still, abrupt silence as everyone in the room stared at Misa.

"Um," Mogi's voice crackled from the phone. He was still on the line. "What's going on?"

"Mogi," said L into the phone. "Return to headquarters immediately, please." He hung up, then returned to staring at Misa, his eyes large and calculating.

Jubilee's mind was reeling with a sudden, heavy sense of déjà vu. She stumbled forward, towards Misa.

"Play that again," she demanded.

Smugly, Misa did.

The man's voice played once more. As it did, the familiar words drew familiar images to the forefront of Jubilee's mind. Misa and Higuchi, in a red sports car. A purple-haired demon, hunched in the rear seat. A name— _Ginzo Kanabochi—_ etched onto the blank page of a notebook with covers blacker than night. A shard, just as black, lodged in Misa's heart.

Jubilee gasped as clarity flooded back into her vision. She looked up at Misa again. The black shard that she had seen in her mind's eye earlier was now clearly visible, protruding from Misa's chest.

Jubilee closed the gap between them, startling the other girl as she took her suddenly by the shoulders.

"Misa," she whispered. "What have you done?"

Misa looked bewildered, then irritated. "What do you mean, what have I 'done'? I found out who Kira was and got a confession out of him."

Jubilee leaned in closer and said, too softly for the others to hear, "…Who is Ginzo Kanabochi?"

Misa's eyes widened in alarm. She stepped back, shaking off Jubilee's hold, before her eyes hardened, a cold mask clicking into place.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said coolly. She put a hand to Jubilee's forehead, though the action was unfeeling. "I think you need to lay down, Julie," she declared, withdrawing her hand. "You're not feeling well, and you're saying things that don't make sense."

"But—" Jubilee floundered, suddenly realizing her mistake in being so blunt. She could almost tangibly feel the other girl withdrawing from her, and a sudden, strong sense of loss hit her like a punch to the gut. Beside her Hellenos faded back into a shimmer, but she remained acutely aware of every other sensation she was still perceiving. The sickening tinge around Misa. The black shard in her chest. The dark, foreboding feeling of events teetering on a precipice. Desperately, she began again, "Misa, I didn't mean—"

She was cut short as L's cool fingers suddenly covered her forehead as well, and he stood before her. She stopped speaking, utterly surprised. Warmth rose to her cheeks.

"Yes," he said quietly, and leaned in close to peer at her with a look of intense scrutiny. "You are indeed feeling rather warm, Miss Amachi."

 _That's because you're touching me!_ she thought, but said nothing as she stared back at him.

He continued, "Have a seat and take it easy for a minute."

She opened her mouth to protest again, "But—!"

He drew back his hand but kept his face inches from hers, their eyes locked. "I insist, Miss Amachi," he said softly, but with cryptic intent. "Just sit for a moment."

 _Shut up for now,_ was what he meant. She could almost hear the thought audibly from his mind. Biting her lip, she nodded and lowered herself shakily into a seat.

Meanwhile Light had approached Misa. "How did you get Higuchi to confess?" he asked her.

Guilt momentarily flashed through Misa's eyes then, before she masked it and turned to Light. "Well…I told him I was the second Kira."

"What?" Light sounded aghast.

"What?" returned Misa, in an almost whine. "He already thought I might be anyway! It was the only way to get him to confess."

"Wow, Misa!" cried Matsuda from beside them. "I can't believe it…you actually managed to find the current Kira, _and_ get a confession out of him!"

"Pretty good, right?" said Misa with a grin and a wink Matsuda's way. To Light she pouted and said, "See, Matsuda knows to appreciate me for my undercover skills."

"You've done impressive work, indeed," L cut in. He was addressing Misa, but his eyes were still on Jubilee, cool and calculating. "In fact…it's uncharacteristic."

"Huh?!" Misa whirled on the detective. "What do you mean? You're saying you don't believe I did the work?"

"I'm not saying anything," replied L, turning to her. "Simply that it doesn't match up a hundred percent, given your sloppy work as the second Kira before losing your memories. You left your fingerprints all over the place."

"Hmph!" Misa angrily crossed her arms. "Well, maybe I've gotten better since then."

"Hmm," intoned L doubtfully. "Perhaps." Jubilee saw the line over his head snap.

"And _anyway_ ," continued Misa, "I was _trying_ to say, that I told Higuchi he had to prove that he really was Kira, before I would agree to marry him…which, obviously, I'm not going to do, so don't worry Light," she added, snuggling up to the younger man beside her. "Sooo," she went on, "Higuchi said that he would stop killing criminals for a week, so that I'd know. I've got that part recorded too!" she exclaimed, pulling out the recorder again. "That would give us cold hard proof that he's Kira!"

"Yes it would," agreed Soichiro from his place behind everyone. "That was rather well done, Misa. All we have to do now is wait and see if the killings stop after this weekend, and then that's sufficient evidence to gain a warrant for Higuchi's arrest. That's rather satisfactory, don't you think, Ryuzaki?"

The detective was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. For the briefest moment he looked over and caught Jubilee's eye again. She was still trembling, and her fists were clenched.

"If criminals stop dying, then that is undeniable evidence," he acquiesced at last. "However…we cannot apprehend Higuchi until we determine how he kills, lest his power simply transfers on to someone else once we do. But before we proceed…" He turned abruptly to Light and Misa. "There's something that I must ask the both of you. And I want each of you to answer—honestly."

"Um, alright," said Light.

"How will you know if we're being honest?" said Misa, arching an eyebrow at the detective.

"I'll know," said L simply.

He didn't turn to glance at Jubilee, but she felt as though he had eyes in the back of his head drilling her with a stare as he said so. Again, his intent rolled into her mind. _He's expecting me to check for him_ , she realized.

"Fine," said Misa, rolling her eyes.

"Light Yagami. Misa Amane," L continued. "Tell me this. Do either of you have any memory, whatsoever, of being Kira?"

The question dropped through the air like a weight and was met with a moment of silence. Jubilee stared diligently at the space above Light's and Misa's heads.

"No, Ryuzaki," said Light. "Of course not. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

The line over his head stayed straight and true. Jubilee felt herself let out a breath.

"And you, Miss Amane?" prodded L.

Misa gave him a defiant and slightly disdainful look. "No," she said. Her fingers tugged at each other for a moment, before she stuck them behind her back. "No I don't," she repeated.

The line over her head stayed straight, but wavered slightly, as though unsure of itself. Jubilee stared curiously at it. What was that supposed to mean? Did Misa remember being Kira or didn't she? Either way, it was at least some relief that the line stayed straight.

Then something else caught her eye. Jubilee glanced back at the straight line over Light's head. It was fading.

She felt herself go cold.

"I see," L was saying in a measured tone as he turned from the two. Chewing on a thumb, he sent Jubilee a cursory, questioning glance.

She didn't know how to signal to him what she had seen. She wasn't even positive what it all had meant. But one look at the worry in her face seemed to be enough for L.

"I see," he said again, more assured this time. With that, he turned and strode back to the desk, not heeding Light's grunt of annoyance as he was dragged along. Back at the desk, L picked up the phone and rapidly dialed a number.

"Wedy?" he said into the phone after a moment. "New instructions. I want you to wiretap the residence of Kyosuke Higuchi, just like you've done with several of the other Yotsuba members so far."

He paused, listening with a frown. "Fine," he said. "Then just wiretap his cars for now. That you can handle that, can't you?" Another pause. "Very good." He hung up.

"Ryuzaki," said Light, "What are you planning?"

"A way to discover how Kira kills," replied L. "And, after that, a way to apprehend the current Kira without his power transferring on. Everyone, please pay attention," he announced, turning around to face the rest of the task force. "Here is the plan."

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

 _ **A fun fact** – 2018, the year that the majority of this story was written so far, was a year of Jubilee! An unintentional but blessed coincidence that I forgot about until this year. Speaking of this year, how is everyone's 2019 going so far?_

 _ **A behind-the-scenes look at this chapter** – I had a lot of trouble with feeling like the story wasn't progressing as fast as I would like. Finally, a solution came in the form of deviating from canon a bit—I've combined Misa's job interview (and encounter with Rem) and her date with Higuchi into one day. Now we don't have to wait quite as long for things to heat up!_

 _ **A 2019 commitment to my readers** – I have decided to write consistently from this day forth, and invite you all to keep me accountable. I wholeheartedly give you all permission to check in with me, either through review or PM, and say "Where've you been?!" if you don't see at least one update every two weeks. I also invite and request prayers for victory over all obstacles when it comes to writing._

 _ **A sneak peak** – I'm over 2000 words into the next chapter already! It was originally part of this chapter, but got to be too long so I split it up. Expect it soon!_


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Three days later, the main room was filled with a palpable tension as L, Light, Jubilee and Misa gathered together, going over final preparations. The main monitor showed a live stream of the Sakura TV station—where Matsuda was currently seated in an interviewee's chair, TV staff surrounding him to hook up mics, lighting, and set up a tall, blurred glass pane in front of both him and the TV anchor sitting across from him. Another, smaller monitor showed surveillance from the residence of Reiji Namikawa, their Yotsuba mole. Namikawa himself was reclining on a couch, with his colleagues Shingo Mido and Suguru Shimura in armchairs next to him, sipping on glasses of sake.

Jubilee sat in her spot, watching the proceedings and biting her nails. Misa watched as well, bouncing on her toes behind Light's seat, her hands on his shoulders as he worked. Beside them, L stared alternatively at the monitors and at the clock on the wall. Hellenos was a mere, silent shimmer beside Jubilee. Between the commotion and the maelstrom of her own thoughts, his presence faded in and out of her consciousness.

She recognized Shingo Mido on the smaller screen, the man who had questioned her back at Misa's apartment. He had started having a change of heart about the whole Kira situation back then, and it was clear that that had only increased since then. Jubilee could just barely discern that the smoggy haze around him had lightened somewhat. At the moment he was speaking animatedly to his two colleagues. She briefly wondered what it was he might be saying, when L switched the input of the main monitor over to play the live feed of the three men. The sounds of their voices played through the speakers.

"This Kira business has gotten out of hand," Mido was saying. "I want out, and I think the rest of you agree."

"Indeed," affirmed Namikawa.

Beside them, Shimura nodded his assent.

"And that is why," Namikawa added, "We are cooperating with L and this plan of his. After tonight, our hands will be clean of this."

"I look forward to it," said Mido, raising a glass.

On a smaller monitor that now showed Sakura TV station, lights brightened. Matsuda's silhouette was framed behind the blurry glass pane, and across from him the TV anchor's shadow waved into the cameras and began gesticulating wildly towards Matsuda.

"It is time," said L softly. "Light?"

"I'm on it," said the younger man, picking up the black landline beside him and dialing a number. On the main screen, Namikawa's home phone rang.

"Yes?" answered Namikawa, his voice projecting through the monitor's speakers for all the task force to hear.

"It's L," said Light into the phone. "The TV special is beginning. Time for you to give Higuchi a call and make sure he is watching."

"Understood," said Namikawa, grabbing a remote and turning on his television.

"And keep the other Yotsuba members from interfering, once the reveal occurs," Light continued.

"Yes."

"Good," said Light. "We will be watching ." He hung up.

Onscreen, Namikawa began dialing a number into his phone. "It begins," he told the other two.

 _Yes,_ thought Jubilee silently from where she sat and watched. _It begins._

"Higuchi," Namikawa said into the receiver. "Bad news. Have you seen what they're airing on Sakura station?" A pause. "They're saying it's a three-hour 'Kira special'—with an interviewee who claims to know the identity of Kira and who will announce it at the end of the program." There was another pause. The faint, stuttering sounds of Matsuda's voice could be heard in the background from his television. "I would take this seriously, Higuchi," continued Namikawa. "This guy, whoever he is, knows about our meetings. He's talking about it right now." At this, he held the phone away from his ear at whatever outburst Higuchi must have made. Then, holding the phone to his ear again, he listened intently for a moment. "Are you watching it now? Good. See, I told you. This guy knows way more than he should. Who do you think it could be?"

" _They killed one of their own members,_ " Matsuda was saying in the background, his speech distorted by a voice changer. On one of the smaller monitor at headquarters, Jubilee could see Matsuda's silhouette gesturing. " _Hatori, I think was his name—_ " At that moment, the glass pane suddenly wobbled, then toppled over. Matsuda's surprised looking face was clearly visible for a good three seconds, before he threw his hands up to cover himself. From the background sounds of Namikawa's apartment, the TV anchor's voice announced hastily, " _And now for a quick commercial break, as we get situated in the studio! Stay tuned for more, when we get back._ "

"That was Misa Amane's former manager," Namikawa stated in a pretense of surprise, the phone receiver still held to his ear. Jubilee could see the line over his head wobble from the façade he was putting on. "I thought he had died?" After a moment of listening, he went on, "Well, clearly he's still alive, so we have to do something. We have his name and face, don't we? Taro Matsui. Just have Kira kill him. I'm going to contact the others to update them." With that, he hung up.

"Misa," said L quietly from where he sat. "Expect a call any minute now."

As if on cue, Misa's ringtone, a bright and upbeat pop song, broke through the air. The blonde pulled out her mobile and looked at the number. "It's Higuchi, alright," she said with a grimace. "That snake." She hit the decline button. "Denied!" she declared cheerfully.

"And now," L went on, "Things will really start to heat up." Swiveling in his chair, he hit an intercom button. "Wedy?" he said into a speaker.

"Yep," a woman's voice crackled back.

"Be ready," said L. He hit another button, and a new image filled the main monitor. It was the view of a cam fitted on the front of a motorbike, parked to face a large, upper-class-looking residence. On the sides of the screen, Wedy's slim, black-gloved fingers strummed the handlebars.

"Misa Amane's agency office is where you think he'll go, right?" said Wedy, her voice now playing from the monitor speakers. "That's about ten minutes away, due west." In front of her, garage lights turned on. An expensive looking vehicle pulled out, backed up down the driveway, and sped down the street with a screech of tires.

"That's the way he's going, just like you said he would," Wedy stated. "And with that, I'm off."

The sound of revving echoed through the room as Wedy took off after Higuchi, quickly accelerating up to 90 miles an hour to keep up with him as they turned onto a busy street and then a highway.

L hit another button, and this time the view from the interior of Higuchi's car filled the screen. Higuchi himself was silent at the wheel, steering steadily with a death grip and a scowl on his face. Jubilee noted the deep, dark haze surrounding the man. Slowly the haze formed itself into hundreds and hundreds of black knives, protruding from all over his body. She exhaled heavily. Now that she already knew he was the current Kira, it became easier to see him for what he was. How had she been unable to see it before?

 _Fear and doubt_ , whispered a voice in her mind. She figured that it was probably Hellenos, from beyond the haze of hyperactivity and distraction swirling around and in her. Then she noticed something else on the screen and nearly fell out of her chair.

"Holy—!" she gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth stifle a scream.

L had rolled his chair next to her in an instant, nearly tugging Light out of his. "What is it?" the detective demanded, staring into her face. A thousand lights lit up over his head as he scrutinized her and made calculations based on her expression.

"It's—it's—" She pointed a shaking finger at the screen. "One of those—things, sitting in the backseat! Like the thing I saw following—" She stopped short, whipping her head around to cast a fearful glance at Light, who only looked at her, confused.

That was all that L needed. "A shinigami," he whispered, turning back to the screen.

Light cast her and L a doubtful glance, and Misa gave her a particularly strange look. For the moment she didn't care, her attention riveted to the screen. Hunched in the backseat behind Higuchi was the demon that had flashed through her mind's eye several days ago while confronting Misa. The sickening familiarity of the image she was seeing now—a demon with yellow eyes and purple hair, seated in the back of Higuchi's slick sports car—settled over her like a heavy weight.

Why hadn't she seen this creature until now? She had physically encountered Higuchi once before and then watched him countless times on surveillance. She was sure that it wasn't just her spiritual sight being defective; there had been no hint or feeling of anything more than Higuchi's own dark haze in the past. The demon hadn't _been_ there before, the way the other demon used to trail Light in surveillance videos. Did this particular demon come and go as it pleased?

 _She_ , a voice in her head reminded her. Yes. This demon was a she.

Jubilee suddenly remembered another image—Misa, standing before a bathroom mirror. This demon standing behind her, speaking to her. Higuchi hadn't been there. And that had been right before Misa had come back to headquarters carrying that nauseating, oily tinge about her…

So then, this demon had gone off on her own to find Misa. Which meant that she must feel no obligation or desire to stay at Higuchi's side. Why was that? And, more importantly…why had she approached Misa?

One of the smaller monitors showed that Wedy had trailed Higuchi to the Yoshida Productions agency. L switched the main monitor over to play from a cam installed inside the office, where Higuchi now burst in and began pawing through filing cabinets. The demon was not with him.

"There you are!" Higuchi's hiss could be heard as he pulled out a document and held it high. "So, 'Taro Matsui' is your stage name or something, is it, Mr.—" He lowered the paper and squinted at it. "—Ryu Mizuki?" He laughed, then pulled something out of his briefcase and hunched over the desk in front of him. "No more writing down fake names this time," he continued to himself, then straightened up, closing his briefcase back up. "Now you're dead!" he said with a tone of satisfaction, and abruptly left the office.

"What just happened?" asked Light. "What did he do?"

L thumbed the corner of his mouth, still staring at the screen. "I don't know," he began slowly. "But clearly he thinks that he just killed Matsuda."

"Ryuzaki _,_ " Mogi's voice crackled over the intercom. "We just saw Higuchi come out of the office and back into the parking lot. Do you want Aiber and I to apprehend him now?"

"Negative," stated L. "We still don't know how he kills. Hold back for now, but keep following him from a distance, behind Wedy."

Light turned on L. "You're saying that he thinks he killed Matsuda already? But how? He didn't do anything!"

"He looked like he was writing," mused L, more to himself than to anyone else. "And he said something about not writing down any more fake names…"

Jubilee paled, remembering yet another image. A black notebook—a name written inside of it—a black shard inside Misa's heart. _What if…_ She turned to cast a discreet glance at Misa. The blonde girl was oddly silent, watching the screen. The oily black tinge around her churned, shrouding her usual pink light. What was going on in that head of hers, Jubilee wondered? And…what could she see?

"So?" said Light. "So he wrote down the new name that he thinks is Matsuda's, so that he can use it to kill him later. That doesn't mean he's done anything with it yet."

"Perhaps," said L. "But his intonation implies that he believed the job to be complete." He pressed a button, switching the main monitor over to the inside of Higuchi's car again. "Let's just see what he does next."

Higuchi slid back into the driver's seat. "There, Rem," he said. "That should do it. That idiot should be dead now."

"Rem?" repeated Light. "Who's he talking to? Is he on a phone call?"

"No," said L. "He's not." He exchanged a glance with Jubilee.

"And why does he think Matsuda's dead?" Light continued, the frustration in his voice increasing. "What did he _do_?"

"He wrote down a name," whispered Jubilee, watching the screen that showed a shadowed man and demon that only she-and, perhaps, one other person in the room-could see.

Before Light could turn to question her, Higuchi had turned on the small television monitor in the front of console of his car, and then promptly burst into a string of obscenities. From the tiny screen, Matsuda's voice still spoke.

"How is that man still alive!" Higuchi seethed. "Was that _another_ fake name?" Then, despair seemed to wash over him and he banged his forehead into the steering wheel. "This is going to ruin everything," he moaned. "How do I find out what his real name is?"

There was a beat. Then, slowly, he raised his head.

"That's right," he whispered to himself. The haze around him blackened even more and then opened up like a void, allowing in a new and dark idea. "There _is_ a way…" he continued softly to himself, tapping nervously at the steering wheel with his fingers. Sweat dripped from his brow. Then, with a sudden resolve, he cried out, "I'll make the deal…give me the shinigami eyes!"

Jubilee felt her blood go cold. These words…she had heard them before, in a dream.

" _Are you sure?_ " said the demon's voice from the backseat of the car, speaking up for the first time since Jubilee had been watching. Its eerie voice matched the one Jubilee had heard in her dream. " _It will halve your lifespan._ "

"Yes," said Higuchi softly. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Yes, I'm sure. Give them to me."

Something happened that only Jubilee could perceive-a shift in the ether, an exchange in the spirit. And then Higuchi's eyes were glowing red. But only Jubilee could see it.

Higuchi gave a gasp, then looked outside his window. Whatever it was that he saw made his lips curl up into a sinister smile, and a malevolent gleam formed in his eyes. Starting the car, he revved the engine and took off down the road at a roaring speed. On another monitor, Wedy zoomed after him.

"We're going after him," crackled Mogi's voice from the intercom.

Jubilee trembled with a premonition that she couldn't quite place her finger on. _Something bad's about to happen,_ she thought, but didn't know why she thought it.

"Who _is_ Higuchi talking to?" asked Light from beside her. "And what's he doing now?"

"Going to Sakura TV station, I presume, as some last resort to take out Matsuda," said L. "We'll have to start enacting phase two of the plan."

"Ah," said Light. "Right." He pulled out his cell phone. "I'll call my dad and let him know to start switching out Matsuda and the TV anchor for dummies."

Onscreen, a siren began to blare and red lights flashed from behind Higuchi's car.

"This is bad," came Wedy's voice over the intercom. "Higuchi's getting pulled over by a traffic cop. I'm going to have to pass him and leave the pursuit to Aiber's team." She sped past the cop and the red sports car, which was pulling to a stop.

"You were speeding," said the cop's reproachful voice from the main screen. He was mounted on a motorbike, leaning over to speak to Higuchi through the window. "License, please," he said sternly.

"Sure, just a second," said Higuchi, sounding apologetic. He grabbed his bag and riffled through it. "Let's see, it's got to be in here somewhere…"

Jubilee felt the knot of dread in her stomach grow and churn, like a volcano about to erupt. _Something bad's about to happen…_

Onscreen, Higuchi's eyes flickered over to the officer's face, then back to the contents of his bag. He reached in deeper, as though still searching. Then, without warning, he grasped the steering wheel, stepped on the gas, and sped off.

Mogi's voice came over the intercom again. "I'm coming up behind Higuchi now!" he reported. "He ditched the cop and he's driving away."

"Yes, I see that, Mogi," said L dryly.

"Cop's pursuing him now and so are we," continued Mogi, ignoring the slight.

The foreboding feeling reached a peak inside of Jubilee, making her head feel like it was about to explode. With sudden clarity the premonition sharpened into a precise intuition.

She leaped up and grabbed the intercom speaker. "Veer right, Mogi!" she screamed.

"—What?" Mogi sounded confused. "Is that you, Julie? But—"

"Just do it!" she yelled. "Now!"

The sound of squealing tires, a faint crash, and Aiber cursing in the background filled the speakers. Mogi gave a yelp of surprise. The sound of blaring sirens stopped.

"That motorcycle cop just rear-ended a truck!" Mogi exclaimed. "He's dead!"

"Dead?" echoed Light, shocked. "Was it an accident?"

On the screen, Jubilee saw a black knife form in the air, then plunge itself into Higuchi to join the many others. She felt sick.

"No," she whispered in response to Light.

"Julie," said Mogi's voice from the intercom. "How did you—You knew that was going to happen?"

Jubilee didn't answer. All she could do was clutch her stomach and focus on breathing in and out through her nose, in an attempt to stay calm and keep herself from throwing up.

"This is very bad," said L quietly from beside her, not paying attention to the state she was in. The colors above his head darkened and began to churn in a frenzy. So intense were his thoughts that, for a few brief seconds, Jubilee could hear some of them.

— _Hand in his bag…what did he do?_

 _How did he get…name?_

 _Only needed a face…second Kira…_

"Rem…" Light was musing aloud to himself, chin in hand and equally engrossed with thinking. "A deal…" The yellow around him swirled, darkening and lightening, then darkening again. A deep and slightly discordant tone resonated from the color, making Jubilee's head throb.

She clutched her head in her hands, suddenly overwhelmed by both the situation and the storm of sounds and colors, thoughts and feelings that were assaulting her mind. The whirlwind of L's thoughts was the most deafening of all, but moved too fast for her to keep up, like an overpowering hurricane.

 _Killed…Matsuda…What…Unless…_

"Everyone!" L suddenly announced into the intercom speaker, his voice tight. "It's too dangerous to allow further action by Higuchi. Let's bring him in. But," He leaned forward, his dark hair falling forward to cover his eyes. "Take caution. I believe that he now has the same powers as the second Kira. He is able to kill just by looking at someone's face. Please keep this in mind when you move in to arrest him." Then, without missing a beat, he swiveled in his chair and pressed a button on his own computer, speaking into its microphone. "Watari?"

A boldface, scripted "W" appeared on the screen. "Yes," came the old man's voice from the screen.

"Connect me to the director of the NPA."

"As you wish," said Watari,and the screen switched over to a new call.

"Director of the NPA, who is this?" said a new voice.

L hit another button, turning on his voice filter. "This is L," he said. "We are now aware of Kira's true identity. He is currently heading towards Sakura TV station along Highway 1, in a red sports car. Our group will handle the arrest. In the meantime, please instruct all officers to refrain from approaching his car."

"Understood," said the man's voice.

L promptly hung up and without further ado turned to Light. "Well, Light," he said, sounding suddenly calm. "Shall we go and join the others?"

"Yes," said Light, rising from his chair. "Let's go."

"And you, Miss Amachi." L turned his head towards her. "You should come along as well."

Jubilee, still recovering, gulped and nodded, rising shakily to her feet.

"What about me?" asked Misa.

"Ah," said L. "As for you, Miss Amane…" He held out Light's vacated seat. "Please sit here for a moment."

"Huh? Uh, okay," said the blonde, sitting.

Quicker than Jubilee could blink, L had the girl handcuffed and was tying her to the chair with a piece of sturdy rope. Jubilee's jaw dropped, as did Misa's.

"I'm sorry to do this to you, Misa," said L, though he didn't sound sorry. "But we're going to have to make sure you don't go anywhere for now."

"What?" cried Misa, indignant. "But—hey!"

L had already turned and was starting to walk away, the chain connecting him to Light rattling. "Come along, Light, Miss Amachi," he said.

Light cast Misa a sympathetic glance and followed L. Jubilee stood before the blonde girl, staring at her.

"Miss Amachi," called L. He was at the foot of the stairs.

"You go ahead, I'll be there in a minute," replied Jubilee. She gazed down at Misa, who was looking back up at her with a defiant pout. The dark, oily tinge pressed in on the smaller girl like it was trying to suffocate her, except that she didn't even notice it. The black shard was still in her heart, sharp and jagged. Jubilee felt her own heart crack at the sight.

Leaning over, she enfolded Misa in her arms, surprising the other girl. "I'm so sorry, Misa," Jubilee whispered, tears prickling at her eyes. "I'm sorry for whatever it was that…that happened, and what's happening now, and—" She choked back a sob. "We'll fix this later, somehow. I promise."

She stepped back. Misa looked confused, but softened slightly at the downcast expression on Jubilee's face. "Sure we will, Julie," said the younger girl placatingly. The line over her head wobbled and cracked.

Jubilee couldn't look anymore. She turned and went to the staircase to follow after L and Light. Stopping at the bottom of the landing, she suddenly looked up, puzzled.

Why were they going _up_ stairs?

* * *

On the top of the roof, wind whipped at Jubilee's hair. Before her sat a helicopter, it's blades whirring. Watari was in the pilot's seat, and Light and L were climbing into the passenger seats.

Jubilee stared at the helicopter, then glanced at the open night air all around them and gulped as a sudden sense of vertigo hit her. The loud reverberations of the helicopter, coupled with the the cold night air and the tense energy surrounding her, made her head throb once more. L's thoughts, still whirling visibly above his head and audibly through the air like the chopper's blades, seemed to collide with the distressed yellow around Light and the echo of Misa's pink and oily tinge from downstairs. The pain in her head increased and she winced, but bravely took a step forward to join the others. When she reached the helicopter, however, she suddenly gasped and stumbled before catching herself, then shook her head.

"I can't," she said, her breathing shallow. "I don't know if I—" She glanced frantically around herself , at the skyscrapers surrounding them and the dark night sky. The sight made her feel even dizzier than before and she put a hand against the helicopter to steady herself. "I…was never very good with heights, but…this is…" She broke off, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her teeth against the dull ache in her cranium. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she looked up again into L's gray eyes. "I think I'm overwhelmed," she whispered to him helplessly, barely able to grasp onto her thoughts as the physical and mental noise all around her roared through her mind.

L assessed her calmly. "You will feel better once you're inside the helicopter," he stated matter-of-factly.

She began to shake her head again. "No—" she began, before another wave of pain hit her, worse than any migraine she'd ever had. She bent over, clutching her head in her hands. "I—I—it's too much," she stuttered incoherently. "I _see_ …too much, and…and…" Images of Higuchi's red eyes, the purple-haired demon, the black notebook, the roar of the chopper's blades and everyone's screaming thoughts assaulted her mind. Her brain felt like it was going to short circuit. She babbled on, "I _hear_ everything, everyone's fears and thoughts and doubts, and…" She gave a sudden weak and slightly hysterical laugh. "And I'm afraid of heights, and..." She winced again, tightening her grip on her skull. "My head..." she whispered through the haze of pain, unable to think straight. "Is...killing me…"

A hand suddenly rested on the top of her head. Her senses stabilized ever so slightly. Taking a deep breath she looked up again, expecting to detect Hellenos, but instead she saw that it was L who had reached out and placed a hand over her head.

"Miss Amachi," he said quietly, but still loudly enough to be heard over the helicopter. "I know that it feels hard right now—perhaps more than I can know or even relate to. But," he continued, his gray eyes holding her gaze steadily, "You must remember that you do not have to be enslaved to how you are feeling. That, however challenging it may be now, is only temporary. I promise you can have all the rest you need when we get back, but this task right now, this moment, is critical. And you need to be there for it."

For a moment she wanted to shout at him, to scream at his utter lack of compassion for the state she was in. But she felt the warmth of his hand on her hair and saw the straight line over his head, and knew that the opposite was true. That he _was_ showing her compassion—but that he also had the boldness to push her past her pain and her problem, rather than commiserate with her in them. Even so, Jubilee felt her courage and fortitude failing.

"No," she said, shaking her head again. It still hurt, though not as badly as before. She was suddenly eager to get off this roof, out of this roaring wind, and away from this whole situation for a little while. "You don't need me there. Your plan is perfect. Go on without me—"

L removed his hand from her head. Thankfully, the high level of pain from before didn't return, though there was still discomfort.

"You are mistaken," he said, his expression aloof. "You believe that you are not necessary for the plan because you don't have a specific part in it. Indeed, you often believe that you are not necessary to the entire investigation." He paused, before going on, "But nothing could be further from the truth. The task force needs you." He gazed at her a moment. The lights over his head brightened, then softened, even as his gray haze grew more shadowy and veiled. He continued firmly, " _I_ need you, Miss Amachi…for the case, and for this plan, to be there and do what only you can do."

Jubilee gaped at him, speechless. _I need you_ , he had said _._ For the case, but still. She was struck by both the uncharacteristic sentiment of his statement, and his unwillingness to flatter or to manipulate. Bright colors shone and flashed through his haze, brightening and dimming again and again. There was still no pink mist. But the line over his head stayed straight and true.

In the space of silence between them, L held out a hand to her in wordless invitation. As the helicopter blades continued to roar and the wind continued to whip at her hair and clothes, Jubilee looked at his hand and considered it. It held the unsaid invitation to walk out of her fear and her pain, and into faith and trust. To accept mutual trust with another person. And, perhaps, even find a friendship. And that, she suddenly decided, was something she could accept. Slowly, she reached out and took L's hand, allowing him to help her up into the helicopter.

Instantly, the remaining pain in her head lifted. Blinking, she saw Hellenos already seated beside her, on her left. He beamed at her.

She turned to L on her right. "Thank you," she said quietly. _For more than you may know._

He gave her a short nod, then faced the front.

"Watari," he called over the roar of the engines. "We're ready."

* * *

 **A/N: A belated thank you to guest reviewers who haven't been signed in. _doe_ , thank YOU for blessing me with your readership and review! And _Panera_ , I appreciate all the kind and encouraging words you've left more than you can imagine. So glad to have you along for this wild ride of a story!**

 **Thank you everyone else for reading and sticking it out with me, to those who have been patient AND to those who specifically asked when to expect this chapter by...you kept me accountable, and I made the set deadline just in the nick of time! Once more, if you don't hear from me again within a couple weeks, you are granted permission to bombard me with reminders. Until next time, friends!**

 **Love,**  
 **The Authoress**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Once Jubilee was buckled in to her seat, L rose from his.

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him wide-eyed.

He didn't answer her and addressed Watari instead, who had also risen from the pilot's seat. "You've packed what you need, yes?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki," answered Watari, shifting himself back into the passenger area. "It's right here." He knelt down and opened a long, black case on the floor. Inside was a rifle. Jubilee gaped, and Hellenos' presence winked out from beside her.

"What-" she began again, but L spoke once more.

"Light, join me up front, please," he said, climbing into the pilot's seat and buckling himself in.

Light wordlessly unbuckled his seatbelt and obeyed. Without further hesitation, the helicopter began to rise into the air.

"I didn't know you could pilot a helicopter," remarked Light, slipping on a headset with a mic. L had already done the same. "That's pretty incredible."

"It's fairly simple," responded L. "You can figure it out with intuition."

Jubilee would've been impressed at witnessing yet another one of L's many talents, but she was preoccupied with the current state of affairs. The two men's voices drifted softly into her mind, their volume amplified over the roar of the helicopter by her heightened senses.

"Hey," she yelled over the din. "If you've got so much intuition and knew you were going to be the one flying, why didn't you just get in the pilot's seat from the get-go? Also, why does Watari have a _gun_?"

L gave a brief, quizzical glance backwards at her. "I suppose you really do hear everything, like you said," he commented placidly, facing front again. "Interesting."

"I hear you not answering my question either," she shouted back. While she could hear them, her own voice still took effort to be heard.

"First of all, that is a sniper rifle," responded L smoothly. "This," He fished out a pistol and held it in the air between thumb and forefinger. "Is a gun. Speaking of which—" He extended the firearm to Light. "Perhaps you should hold on to this, Light, just in case."

"No thanks," said Light. "Firearms aren't allowed in Japan, unless you're a police officer."

"You know," said L, withdrawing the weapon, "I'm sure your father would say the exact same thing."

"Excuse me," called Jubilee from the back, squashing down her shock at seeing yet another weapon. "None of that answered my questions. You're not planning on killing anyone, are you?"

"No, Miss Julie." It was Watari who spoke now. He paused from cocking and loading the rifle and looked up to give her a reassuring smile. "This is just a precautionary measure to apprehend Higuchi, should he try to make an escape in his vehicle. I don't intend to hit any flesh." He winked and added, "Don't worry…I'm a very good shot, even at my age."

Jubilee shook her head in wonder. _An old man who's handy with a sniper rifle, and a genius loner who can pilot a helicopter?_

"The two of you are just full of surprises, aren't you?" she said.

Watari gave a little bow at the waist, then turned away to position himself next to the helicopter door.

"To answer your other question, Miss Amachi," began L again She started, having forgotten that she'd asked another question. "The reason I delayed getting in the pilot's seat was because, one, Watari was already starting up the aircraft for us when we were making our way upstairs. And two—" He turned again to give her a pointed, but not unkind, look. "I anticipated that you might need some encouragement. You didn't seem to be doing too well while we were downstairs, and I deduced that you were experiencing a sensory overload."

Jubilee blinked. So he _had_ noticed what was going on with her, even before they'd gone on the roof.

"Dad, Higuchi's on his way to Sakura TV," said Light, who had opened a channel to Soichiro over his headset. "He'll be there in less than fifteen minutes. Are you ready?"

" _I don't need my son asking if I'm ready,_ " Soichiro's response drifted into Jubilee's mind, though only Light and L should have been able to hear it. " _Of course I am_."

L spoke up. "Wedy should be joining you shortly to prepare for the ambush, along with Aiber and Mogi."

" _Understood._ "

The minutes passed by in a blur as they flew. Jubilee drummed her fingers nervously against her seat and occasionally asked questions.

"How will the others ambush Higuchi if they can't let him see their faces?" she yelled towards the front. "Won't apprehending him be dangerous for them?"

"They'll be wearing tinted helmets," responded L, not bothering to raise his voice.

"Oh," said Jubilee, feeling stupid. _Duh._ She lapsed into silence again, then asked a few more questions before she got tired of yelling and stopped speaking entirely.

 _Has fifteen minutes passed?_ she wondered to herself, and then took a few deep breaths to calm herself. _Keep it together, Jubilee…_

"They should be ambushing him right about now," said L quietly from up front.

Just then, Jubilee felt a quick but sharp pain sear her right arm. "Ouch!" she cried in surprise, grabbing her arm.

Before L could turn to question her, another voice crackled over the men's headsets and into Jubilee's mind. It was Mogi.

" _L, Higuchi has a gun on him! The Chief's been shot...Higuchi is escaping!_ "

Alarm filled Jubilee, and the yellow tint around Light spiked with worry, before Soichiro's voice came across the headsets as well.

" _I'm alright,_ " said the older man's voice, sounding slightly strained. " _It's just my arm. If we pursue him right now, we can still catch him. Let's hurry!_ "

Light breathed out a quick sigh of relief, before catching sight of the console's monitor that was tracking Higuchi's vehicle. "This is bad," he muttered. "Higuchi's escaping from Sakura TV." The yellow around him darkened once more.

Around L, too, colors darkened. His voice was tense when he spoke. "This leaves us with no choice. We'll have to move in and apprehend him." He called towards the back, "Watari, are you ready?"

"Yes," answered the older gentleman, sliding open the side door and positioning himself on his stomach. Cold air whooshed into the aircraft, sending goosebumps along Jubilee's exposed skin.

L retrieved the gun again and, without turning around, extended it behind himself to Jubilee. "For you, Miss Amachi," he said. "Since Light won't deign to take it."

"What?" she said dumbly, forgetting to shout to be heard.

L deduced her hesitation when she didn't take the firearm from his hand. "For self-defense," he explained, still not turning around. "This is Kira we're about to catch, after all."

Jubilee stared at the weapon that was being offered to her. She had never handled a firearm before. The thought entered her head that she might accidentally shoot the wrong person in a state of panic. Lord knew she didn't need anything else added to her criminal history.

"I don't know how to use one," she shouted back at last. "I could be more of a danger than Kira with that thing."

"Very well," said L, withdrawing the gun. More softly, he added, "I suppose you're likely to be safe anyway."

Jubilee blinked at the new color that suddenly flickered around him, one that couldn't be described in human words and that she had never seen from him before. Was that…concern? She'd seen it before over worried parents, older siblings, and even some of the volunteers at Wakahisa. The sight warmed her heart.

"Yes, I am," she affirmed cheerfully. L's shoulders tensed, like he hadn't expected her to hear him.

 _ **Such newfound confidence, Miss Jenkins,**_ said Hellenos, winking back into view beside her.

"Well, I've got you and I've got Dad, haven't I?" she said, not bothering to lower her voice. No one human could hear her over the roar of the helicopter. "What could go wrong?"

 _ **Hmm. Much as I enjoy the optimistic side of you, I do recall that that is usually a bad question for humans to ask.**_

His tone was flippant, but for a brief moment Jubilee wondered if the statement wasn't entirely a joke. Before she could say anything, however, the helicopter slowed to a halt midair and she caught sight of bright lights directly below them.

"Police!" she gasped, staring at the road blockade made up of dozens of cop cars, which they were hovering thirty feet over. "I thought you told them not to get involved," she shouted to L.

"I did," answered the detective thoughtfully. "The only person who would do this must be—"

"Aizawa," Jubilee and Light exclaimed at the same time.

"Precisely," said L.

Jubilee felt her heart swell inside of her. For a moment she sensed the ember of Aizawa's presence below them, fierce and determined, at the front of the road blockade. _The old gang's all back together again,_ she thought with a small smile.

Higuchi's car screeched to a halt in front of the blockade. Jubilee dimly heard the sound of the man's raging and panicked thoughts as he hastily backed the car up and tried to veer off again. Just then, a shot fired from Jubilee's right, making her jump. Watari had shot his rifle.

Below them, the car's front tire popped loudly, followed by a hiss, and the entire vehicle careened into a guardrail, finally coming to a stop.

"It's over," breathed Light.

Jubilee's heart pounded. L swiftly but smoothly landed the helicopter. She caught sight of Higuchi's face through his open window, looking terrified, then resigned, and all of a sudden, full of resolve. A dark, black tendril snaked out of his ear and curled itself around his neck as he held up a pistol for all to see, then pressed it against his temple. Jubilee gasped.

"Stay back!" he screamed. "Stay back or I'll—"

Another shot from Jubilee's right, and Higuchi yelped as the pistol fell out of his fingers.

"No flesh, just as I said," said Watari cheerfully, turning to give Jubilee a wink.

" _Ryuzaki_ ," Soichiro's voice filled the men's headsets. " _Please let me go and make the arrest now._ " Jubilee could sense the former Chief's presence in a car directly in front of them , alongside Wedy and the others.

" _I'll go with you, Chief_ ," said Mogi's voice.

"I understand everyone's enthusiasm," replied L. "But just remember that this is Kira. Be sure to take every precaution when you approach him, and do not let him see your faces." He turned to the back. "Watari, if Higuchi tries anything or makes any sudden moves—"

"Understood," said the older man before L had to say anything else. "I will shoot to stop him—not to kill."

Jubilee watched anxiously as, before them, several officers wearing tinted helmets approached the red sports car with guns raised. Leading them was Soichiro, followed closely by Mogi, both of them unarmed.

"Higuchi," commanded Soichiro in a loud voice. Although he was no longer the chief of police, his tone still carried the weight of authority in it."Step out of the car and put your hands in the air."

Higuchi, looking completely resigned now, slowly opened the door and stepped out, holding his arms high above his head. In an instant he was pushed to his knees, blindfolded, and handcuffed.

" _We've apprehended him_ ," Mogi declared triumphantly through his headset.

Jubilee felt her heartbeat slowly return to normal and her shoulders relax. "It really is over," she breathed to herself. Then, her breathing suddenly hitched and her heartbeat skyrocketed again, as another someone—or some _thing_ —got out of the car as well.

She had forgotten about the demon.

To see it in the flesh, rather than simply through a monitor, was like the difference between watching a storm on television and actually being caught in one in real life. The sound of thunder playing over a speaker was nothing in comparison to the shock of a thunderclap directly over one's head. Cold washed over Jubilee like a wave and terror gripped her heart like a vice as she gave a little shriek.

L turned to look at her with big gray eyes. "Miss Amachi?"

"It's there," she whispered, eyes wide and full of fear, but unable to look away from the scene. "It got out of the car."

" _Ryuzaki?_ " Mogi's voice crackled from the headset again.

L faced front again to stare at what was unfolding, but said nothing for a moment.

Light spoke up for him. "Mogi," he said into his mic. "I want you to put a headset on Higuchi, as planned."

"Roger that."

Mogi stepped forward and placed a microphoned headset over Higuchi's ears. With that, L seemed to come back to life and he leaned forward.

"Higuchi," he began without any preamble. "How are you able to kill people?" There was a short pause. "Tell me!" he demanded, voice broaching no protest. Jubilee saw dark colors spike aggressively around his frame.

Before them, Higuchi's shoulders sagged in defeat but he hesitated in answering.

L reached over to grab a thermos and began pouring himself a cup of coffee. "If you're not going to talk," he said slowly, with deceptive casualness, "I will have to use whatever means necessary to get it out of you."

Beside Jubilee, Watari was reloading his rifle.

Higuchi clenched his jaw, then lowered his head. " _The notebook_ ," he said at last, his voice drifting as easily into Jubilee's mind as everyone else's had.

"...Notebook?" repeated L.

Jubilee stiffened. _Notebook._ The ghost of an image flitted through her brain. A black notebook. A name. A demon.

" _You probably won't believe me_ — _but I've got a special notebook. If I write someone's name in it while thinking of that person's face…that person dies."_

A moment of silence followed this absurd claim. Then, "Mr. Yagami—" L began slowly.

" _Yes_." The former Chief had already retrieved a bag out of the passenger seat of Higuchi's car and was fishing a dark-covered book out of it. "I found it, here in his bag." He riffled through its pages. " _There_ _are __a lot of names written in it, but there doesn't seem to be anything else unusual about_ —" At that moment, he glanced up, gave a sudden yelp, and dropped the book to the ground. His body followed shortly after as he fell down on his rump in a state of shock and horror.

"What is it, Mr. Yagami?" asked L, leaning forward.

Jubilee stared at the direction Soichiro was staring in. It was where the demon stood. Was it possible that he now could see…?

" _It's_ —" Soichiro's voice was tight with panic. " _It's…a monster!_ "

Jubilee sucked in a breath. "He sees it," she said, stunned.

"Please calm down," L was saying, at the same time that Mogi ran over to the fallen man. " _Chief, hang in there,_ " Mogi said, kneeling down and putting a hand on Soichiro's shoulder. " _Are you alright?_ "

" _Mogi_." Soichiro pointed a shaking finger at the being that only he and Jubilee could see. " _Can't you see that…that_ _thing_ _over there?_ "

" _Chief, I think you must be getting tired,_ " said Mogi, picking up the notebook from the ground before he turned to look at where Soichiro pointed. " _Aghh!_ " he let out a yell, falling to the ground beside Soichiro and cowering with undisguised terror.

"Mogi," said Light, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Mogi didn't respond, only made shallow, gasping breaths.

" _That thing…_ " whispered Soichiro. His voice held a mixture of fear and awe. " _It seems…that only people who have touched the notebook can_ — _can see this…this monster._ "

 _ **Oh, only those people?**_ said Hellenos sardonically from beside Jubilee's shoulder, making her jump nearly a foot in the air. She had forgotten that he was there. In fact, she could hardly believe that she could still hear him, given the situation.

"Please bring the notebook over to the helicopter," ordered L.

" _O-okay,_ " said Mogi shakily, as he slowly pulled himself to his feet, his eyes never once leaving the demon, who simply stood there and stared down at the humans on the ground with an empty, unreadable expression.

As Mogi neared the helicopter with the black notebook, Jubilee felt a foreboding feeling begin to build somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

"Wait a second—" she began, just as Mogi reached them and L grasped the notebook between his thumbs and forefingers. She stopped, too late, holding her breath as she watched. No noticeable change seemed to come over L at first. He simply observed the thin book with both caution and curiosity. Then, slowly, he turned to look out the front of the helicopter again.

Something rose up and over the detective, dimming the lights around him and making his usual haze shrink back slightly. Something almost orange-ish and reddish, like a flame, but with no life or fire in it. It was fear.

"It really is…a shinigami," he said slowly. Then, even more softly, "They really _do_ exist."

There was a deafening silence in Jubilee's mind for a few seconds. It was the sound of a man's shock that is so large and so profound, that it drowns out any and every other thought. In those few seconds it occurred to her that, much as L had placed considerable stock in everything she had said before, it wasn't until this very moment—when he could see cold, hard evidence with his own eyes—that he was willing to believe her one hundred percent.

And then, all of a sudden, the silence in her mind was replaced by a roar of mental sound. A loud _click_ , as hundreds of puzzle pieces fell into place in the man's mind, preceded a surge of sudden, swift thoughts.

 _Light Yagami…this is how Kira killed…Notebook…second Kira…exchange notes…_

Jubilee felt her head begin to pound again as she struggled not to drown under the overwhelming weight of L's rapid mental calculations. Somewhere in the background, Light was saying something, but she couldn't make it out as she leaned forward and gripped her head in her hands.

A sudden, final conclusion pierced clearly through her consciousness from L's mind: _Two books_ _. There are two notebooks! _And then, _This isn't over yet._

With that, the intensity in Jubilee's own mind began to lift, and she slowly raised her head. That was when she noticed Light.

He had grabbed the notebook out of L's hands and was now gripping it tightly, his features frozen in an expression of perpetual shock. Again there was a deafening, impenetrable silence, this time from Light instead of L, as if someone had hit the pause button in his brain. But now Jubilee felt something else. Something like the ground shaking, except no one else could feel it. Something like a volcano about to erupt.

Without knowing what she was doing, only thinking that something bad she didn't understand was about to happen to her friend, she reached a hand towards him. "Light—" she began worriedly.

And then something happened.

Out of nowhere, a major shock wave hit her in the spirit and sent her careening as the energy of a million thoughts and memories, a whole other life, suddenly came screaming into existence all at once. Jubilee tumbled from her seat and to her knees, grabbing her head. Dozens of different voices flooded her mind.

 _A shinigami?!_

 _Write the name in the notebook._

 _I am L._

… _Show each other our notebooks in Aoyama_ —

 _This world is rotten_ —

 _I am L._

 _When you die,_ _I'll_ _be the one writing your name in_ _my_ _Death Note._

 _I am justice!_

 _I am L._

 _I am L._

 _I am L._

The weight of it all crashed down on her like a roaring avalanche and she felt like screaming. Distantly she was aware that someone _was_ screaming—it was Light. But the sound was faint in comparison to the flood of sights, sounds, and sensations that were bombarding her already overwhelmed mind. Misa in a dress and sunglasses…a black notebook in the grass…hundreds of students in an assembly…a pale, black-haired man crouched in a chair…a purple-haired demon…red apples…

She gasped as hundreds of memories that weren't her own suddenly intersected with one that was. A dark-winged demon with spiky black hair, following Light around. Talking to him. Eating red apples…

And standing at the scene of her death, with an open notebook and a look of utter hate.

Fear clamped down on her like a locked jaw. Memories of the black void from which she had escaped long ago—which she had almost forgotten about and had locked away somewhere deep, hoping never to remember again—broke loose like flood waters from a dam, drowning out all her senses. It was like she was dying all over again, as vividly and clearly as the day of the accident. She was flailing in a sea of darkness that threatened to swallow her whole…and there was no escape.

 _Dad!_ she screamed in her mind. _Help me…oh God,_ she sobbed, _Save me…_

 **No one can save you,** whispered a voice, and it was a voice she had never heard before and yet she knew well; it was both her voice and the devil's voice all wrapped up in one, in a mixture of fear and lies that all looked and sounded too real to be untrue. **No one can save any of you…**

Dimly she was aware of someone shaking her, calling her name. But no, that couldn't be, because there was no one, no one who could help her, no one who could save her from herself or her fears…

"Miss Amachi…"

L's voice cut through the shrouded dimness that was suffocating her and, ever so slowly, drew her out of it, like a strong arm pulling a drowning man out from beneath the waves. Gradually she became aware of the world around her once more. She felt L crouched beside her on the floor in the rear of the helicopter, his hand on her shoulder.

"Breathe, Miss Amachi," he said quietly into her ear. Then, over his shoulder, "And you, Light…are you alright?" The other man didn't respond and L continued, warily, "I suppose that anyone would be surprised to see a shinigami all of a sudden."

There was still no response, only labored breathing from both Light and Jubilee as they continued to recover. Taking a deep breath Jubilee opened her eyes, which had been squeezed shut. Wincing in discomfort, she slowly raised her head to look at Light again.

What she saw nearly made her fall over once more. L caught her by the shoulder and put his other hand to her back for support, glancing down at her but saying nothing. She was too transfixed by horror to pay any attention to the physical contact between them, and only stared at Light.

Gone was the yellow hue she had grown so accustomed to and fond of over the past half year. In its place was a dark haze, its shade as black as the void from her memories. It was the shadow she had seen over him when she first laid eyes on him in the streets of Tokyo, long ago. As she watched, the shadow shifted and slithered, forming into hundreds of knives, then settling back into an indiscernible haze again.

Fear hit Jubilee as she remembered what had accompanied that haze when she first saw it. She looked wildly around the helicopter. The demon that had followed Light from before was nowhere to be seen.

L took in the panicked movements of her eyes with a steady, observant gaze.

"Ryuzaki," said Light all of a sudden. His voice was perfectly calm, as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

"...Yes?"replied L, eyes lingering on Jubilee for a moment before he tore his gaze away to look at Light.

Light was flipping open the black notebook with one hand and pulling out his laptop with the other. "I'm going to try and match the names written in here with the names of the victims."

L's eyebrows shot up, but his voice remained level. "Of course. Good thinking. I will tend to Miss Amachi in the meanwhile. She still seems to be recovering from the shock of this…turn of events." He turned back to Jubilee and said, more quietly, "Some fresh air?"

"Yes," gasped Jubilee. She let him help her up, then stumbled out of the helicopter and onto the ground. Taking a few steps forward, she saw the purple-haired demon ahead, blanched and turned back—only to see Light through the helicopter window, the black haze engulfing him even as the faint light from his laptop lit up his eyes while he worked. The haze over him was too dark for her to make out any other colors or hints of thoughts from him, and the sight of it made her heart feel sick with grief and dread. She leaned over and put her hands on her knees, gulping down air.

L had followed her as far as the handcuffs would allow him to, and now stood before her while still keeping both Light and the shinigami in his peripheral vision.

"Well," he said quietly. He left it at that for the moment. There were times when words simply did not do a situation justice.

"Two," rasped Jubilee under her breath, keeping her voice low.

"Pardon?"

"I heard you," she clarified in a whisper. "What you thought...that there are two."

L didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he asked, quietly, "And did you hear…what anyone else thought?"

Jubilee winced at the memory of sounds from Light's mind that she had nearly succumbed to. "Yes, but…but it didn't make sense." She gave a meaningful glance at Light. It was unlikely that he could hear her over all the hubbub, even at this short of a distance. Still, it was wise to take precautions and avoid speaking about him directly. Both her and L would know who and what she was talking about. "It was like…like dozens of different voices…hundreds of different thoughts, from different—from different times, or places, or…or a different lifetime, I don't know—"

L's eyes had narrowed. "What do you mean, a different lifetime?"

"It was like—like—" There was only one event Jubilee had ever experienced that was remotely comparable to this one. "Like a dead person coming back to life."

L said nothing for a long moment. Slowly, he shifted to glance towards Light. The other man's back was still to them, typing away at his computer, the air around him shrouded in blackness.

"What you first saw, from before…" L began. The image of what he was thinking about floated into Jubilee's mind, but she didn't need to see it to know what he meant. _The haze._ "Is it…?" he continued, before trailing off.

"Yes," she answered lowly. "It's back." She cast a wary glance around them. "But that's the only thing that's back, for now."

Before them, Soichiro and Mogi were getting to their feet, and officers on either side of Higuchi raised him up from the ground. The purple-haired demon still stood where she was, watching all of them in eerie silence.

L turned towards the others. "Mr. Yagami, please take Higuchi to the car now," he ordered.

"Right. Of course," affirmed Soichiro, still sounding shaky. Squaring his shoulders, he grabbed Higuchi by the arm and started to lead him back to Mogi's car.

"You know, about this notebook," called Light from the front of the helicopter, making Jubilee flinch. She and L both turned to him. Light tapped at the black notebook, while still scrolling through names on his computer. "I wonder what we would find if we put it through forensic analysis."

L narrowed his eyes again, though Light couldn't see. "That doesn't sound like you, Light. We both know that this thing is beyond science."

Light gave a little laugh. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Jubilee stared. Why was he acting so casual? She tried to look for the line over his head, but the dark haze veiled it from her sight. At the same time her vision began to lose its clarity and blur in and out. Frustrated, she turned back to look at Higuchi and the others while she thought.

She had to pull herself together and utilize her vision as much as possible. L had been right, this moment _was_ critical. And she had to take note of everything that was happening which only she could see. But with her churning emotions and the sensory overload she was experiencing, how was she to focus during this pivotal yet tumultuous moment?

She glanced around herself again. As expected, Hellenos was nowhere to be seen, his presence forgotten at some point between when she had felt L's fear and then fallen, both literally and figuratively, into the sea of her own fear. It only made sense that her emotions would drown out her perception of the angel, but even so, she wondered why he hadn't shown up just now when she had needed him most. There had been exceptions before, so why not this time? In the past three years since coming back to life, never had she experienced anything as overwhelming, crushing and suffocating to her spirit as this had been. She might not have been able to pull herself out of it if L hadn't been there.

A memory suddenly came to her—herself wobbling off balance, and L straightening her with a hand. Hellenos had been there, and she, embarrassed, had reprimanded him for not catching her instead. What was it he had said in response? _**But why, when there's another capable human to do it?**_

Revelation flooded her then. Hellenos did sometimes appear to her when she was afraid or doubtful, yes…but during those times, she had been completely and utterly alone. She had had no one else—no one human, at least. But for the past three years, he—and, she realized, Dad—had been trying to remedy that. They had been leading her to people who could be there for her—who she could lean on when she needed to. All this time she had constantly thought that Dad and all his angels were being distant whenever she didn't have her act together…whenever she wasn't thinking or doing or saying the right things. But all along, He had been trying to show her that He was always there with her, even—or maybe especially—through other people. Other humans, who were like her. Who were like Him.

In the wake of sudden understanding, she was struck by an idea. "Give me your hand," she said to L, sticking out her own.

He gave her a look bordering between bewilderment and concern for her sanity. "What?"

"I think it helps me to see," she explained impatiently, suddenly unembarrassed about social decorum in the face of a situation that was much, much bigger than herself. "Give it to me," she repeated, unnecessarily, for she went ahead and grabbed his hand anyway before he could protest.

Once more her senses stabilized, like they had when L had put his hand over her head, and when he had helped her into the helicopter. She turned back to take in the scene once more, just as Higuchi unexpectedly lurched forward with a gasp.

"Higuchi," said Soichiro in alarm, grabbing the man by the arm and trying to pull him back to standing. "Ryuzaki," he called towards the helicopter. "Higuchi is…Hey!" The man had arched backwards, a gurgle escaping his throat.

"What the hell?" Light yelled from the front of the helicopter. "What's happening?"

Jubilee stood paralyzed, her mind unable to catch up to what she was seeing. The dark haze around Higuchi faded and started to lift as he lurched forward again, his breath rattling. Her fingers tightened around L's as she watched in helpless horror.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Light was shouting. "We can't lose him! If Higuchi dies on us now—"

"This is impossible!" cried Soichiro, catching the suddenly limp Higuchi and lowering him to the ground. Desperately he checked his vitals. "What…but…" The former chief sat back on his haunches. Jubilee felt shock and confusion emanate from him, though she couldn't see his face behind the tinted helmet. His next words were soft, only physically audible through the headsets, but Jubilee heard them clearly in her mind. " _There's nothing I can do. He's already…_ " He trailed off.

 _Dead,_ thought Jubilee, a thought that was echoed by dozens of other minds all around her. She continued to stare at Higuchi's corpse, now with no haze or hint of any light or color hovering over it. Her mind still couldn't register what had just happened.

Beside her L was as still as a stone.

"I can't believe it," exclaimed Light. He sounded genuinely stunned, and repeated, dumbly, "I can't believe he's dead!"

Jubilee felt the detective's grip unconsciously tense around her hand at the sound of the other man's voice. With that, she regained her wits. She turned to look at Light, who was staring at Higuchi's dead body, looking angry and confused.

Except that he wasn't angry, or confused. Jubilee could tell, because she could clearly see a line over his head, now distinct and visible beyond the dark haze—and it was breaking in two. At the same time, a sharp, black dagger had formed in the air over him. With sudden, swift precision, it plunged itself into his body. He didn't even flinch.

Jubilee felt nauseous. _He_ was the one who had killed Higuchi.

Even as she thought it, even as the weight of that terrible realization bore down on her, Jubilee tried to deny it. She tried to reason against it. This was _Light._ Sweet, innocent, and friendly Light. Her friend. _Their_ friend. He would never hurt anyone. Seeing the earnest distress on his face, she could almost bring herself to believe it.

But then, dimly, a voice drifted into her head. The voice came from Light's own mind, and it didn't at all match the boy she thought she knew, or the look of distress that he was currently wearing. This voice held a tone of malevolent glee that she had never before perceived in him—but that was undeniably his voice. And it said only three words.

 _You're next, Ryuzaki._

Jubilee let go of L's fingers, leaned over, and let herself be sick.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, this was an exciting chapter to write! Thank you to readers and reviewers new and old, including guest reviewers. _Panera,_ as always, I enjoy hearing your analysis of the characters and plot development. Stay tuned for the next chapter, everybody, and hang on tight…this ride's about to get crazy.**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

The main room at task force headquarters was deathly silent, even though it was filled with more people than it had been for many months. Everyone on the team was gathered there, barring Misa, who could be seen over surveillance on the large monitor, so it was practically as though she were there too. In addition, Aizawa was back.

And there was the demon.

Rem, she had called herself. She hadn't said much else, other than explaining that she would come along to keep an eye on the notebook. Everyone had been shocked to hear her speak, and even more so to see her follow them. She had ridden back to headquarters in a car with Mogi and Aiber. Jubilee couldn't begin to imagine what that experience must have been like.

At the moment she was sitting back at her desk, silent like the rest of them. She was still reeling from the shock of everything she had seen and felt, and hadn't said a word since emptying the contents of her stomach back at the scene of Higuchi's death. On one side of her stood Hellenos, a faint and quiet shimmer that kept wavering in and out of her sight; and on her other side, L and Light sat at their respective spots along the desk.

Light was typing away diligently at his computer, continuing to cross reference names. Jubilee clenched her teeth as she felt the dark, ominous haze continue to hover over him like a storm cloud. She wanted to scream, to get up and shake him and somehow bring him back to his senses, back to the Light that she had known. But she held her tongue. What could she do or say that wouldn't immediately incriminate him? Was she willing or ready to do that to him, to someone who had been her friend?

In any case, L was sure to bring it up sooner or later. Jubilee nervously waited for the moment that he would. For the time being the detective simply stared off into space, lost in thought, drinking a coffee and distractedly stacking his discarded containers of creamer into a wobbly tower. Apparently this was the kind of thing that he did when he was stressed.

Everyone else was gathered around the large table towards the back of the room, the surface of which was littered with notes, graphs, and photos from the investigation. Rem stood a little ways off , watching them and making everyone feel uneasy. Aizawa stood at the head of the table, the black notebook open in his hands. On the front cover were the words, _Death Note_ , etched in white.

"Rules for use," Aizawl read aloud from off of the inside cover. "The human whose name is written in this notebook—" He sucked in a breath at what he saw, before continuing, "Shall die."

There was a beat of silence as everyone processed this pronouncement. Even after all the evidence that had been stated and given—and, for Jubilee, all the glimpses she had seen through dreams and visions—it was still difficult to grasp the notion that this simple black book was truly how Kira killed.

Aizawa continued reading, slowly, "This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his or her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected. If the cause of death is written within forty seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen. If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack. After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next six minutes and forty seconds." Aizawa paused for a moment, then flipped to the back cover. "Additionally, on the back cover, it says…If you make this note unusable by tearing it up or burning it—all the humans who have touched the notebook until then will die."

Matsuda gave a startled cry at this. "What? Is that true, Aizawa?"

Aizawa failed to give Matsuda the usual glare he would've shot him at being interrupted. "Yeah," he said grimly. "That's what's written."

"Oh man." Matsuda put a hand to his head, overwhelmed with remorse. "Maybe I shouldn't have let my curiosity get the better of me. I touched the notebook just so I could see the shinigami too."

"If you hadn't," spoke up Soichiro, "Then you would've been the only one who didn't know what was going on in the case. Is that what you would've wanted?"

"Well, no," muttered Matsuda. "Of course not."

Rem wordlessly watched this exchange between the humans, her big yellow eyes and narrow pupils large and vacant. In a way her eyes looked dead, and yet, somehow, they were strangely attentive. Jubilee watched the demon watching the humans. Sweat formed on her brow, and she unclasped her hands to grip her knees, trying to keep her emotions under control. She glanced up towards Hellenos. The angel was starting to appear slightly more solid to her now, but he didn't look down at her, nor at the demon. His face was serious and he stared off into the distance, like a watch guard above a rampart.

Aizawa had continued speaking again. "There's one last sentence," he said, then read, "If any person who has written in this notebook fails to consecutively write in it at least once every thirteen days, then the user…" Here Aizawa stopped, his brows knitting together. "Then the user…dies."

Everyone was still at this revelation. Next to Jubilee, L froze in his tower building, eyes wide.

Matsuda broke the silence. What?" he exclaimed. "That means…that means that Light and Misa-Misa are completely cleared!"

"Yeah, now that you mention it," said Aizawa, "Light and Amane were detained for more than fifty days, and are _still_ under surveillance. They wouldn't be alive if either of them were Kira."

Matsuda turned to Soichiro, a big smile on his face. "What great news! Aren't you glad, Chief?"

"Yes," said Soichiro simply, though for once, he smiled.

Jubilee had stopped breathing. This couldn't be right.

L's quiet voice broke through the moment. "Rem, was it?" he said softly from where he sat, his back turned to the proceedings.

In the quiet that followed, Jubilee could have heard a pin drop. No one had addressed the demon once since they had gotten there.

L continued, "That's your name, isn't it? The white-colored thing over there."

Jubilee blanched and Matsuda gasped, looking appalled. "Ryuzaki!" cried the other man. "That's—that's a bit rude, don't you think?" He glanced nervously at the shinigami towering over him and stammered, "That is, referring to him by his skin color. I mean…if—ah, if he's a he? Um, please excuse me, Shinigami, I don't mean to be—to be rude, or politically incorrect, or anything…"

Rem cut Matsuda off. "What do you want?" she said, addressing L. Her voice was deep.

L still didn't turn around. "There are other notebooks in the human world—aren't there?"

There was a beat. Jubilee held her breath.

"Who knows?" said the pale demon at last. "There may be. There may not be."

Almost too late, Jubilee realized that she needed to be paying extra attention. She stuck her hand out, grasping for Hellenos. Her hand went right through him but in her haste she didn't care. _Dad, help me see,_ she thought.

Slowly, the blank air around the demon started to form into a thick, heavy darkness. Jubilee heard dim moans coming from it and felt a dense, sickening sensation. She paled. _Not_ _that_ _much,_ she thought quickly. _Just enough to know if…_

Before she had finished the thought, the air around the demon cleared, leaving behind only a thick, dark line over its head. It was straight…but wobbling.

Jubilee's brow furrowed. The demon had given a vague answer that was technically true. But she was hiding something.

"If there _were_ other notebooks," L insisted, "Would all of their rules be the same?"

Jubilee hadn't even thought of that possibility. This man didn't miss a trick.

Rem's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, but she said calmly, "Yes, they are all the same." This time, the line over her head snapped in two, and she continued, "There are many notebooks in the shinigami realm, as nearly every shinigami possesses at least one…but the rules are the same for all of them. Even the ones that come into the possession of humans." The line remained broken.

Jubilee exhaled a shuddering breath and withdrew her hand out of Hellenos. The air around the demon reverted back to blankness, much to her dismay. But she shouldn't have been surprised…she'd always known that angelic and demonic beings weren't readable in the same way that humans were.

 _ **Of course not**_ , said Hellenos. _**We're not made up of the same stuff. If we were—**_ He patted his side— _ **You would have surely squeezed my spleen to death just now.**_

She raised an eyebrow at him. _You have a spleen?_

 _ **No. Which is precisely my point.**_

Jubilee was tempted to be frustrated with his lightheartedness in the midst of such grim circumstances. But, truth be told, she was thankful for it.

 _ **You know,**_ the angel went on, _**That was the first time you've ever reached out to me in order to see more clearly. Learned something about leaning on others, did we now?**_

The memory of L's hand in hers flitted through her mind, and she flushed slightly.

 _ **You could just as well have used him just now instead of me.**_

She gave him a look. _I couldn't very well launch myself across the desk and just start touching him, could I?_ she thought. _Besides, you were closer._

The angel grinned broadly. _**Now that would have been a sight to see.**_

Jubilee flushed redder and turned away from him with a slight sniff, just as Aizawa was marching up behind L.

"Ryuzaki," Aizawa began gruffly. "Light and Amane are cleared. They shouldn't be under surveillance anymore."

"That's right!" joined in Matsuda excitedly. "It's all crystal clear now!"

 _Is it?_ though Jubilee with a pang. How very blind they all were as humans, even when they thought they knew everything.

 _ **You are getting very wise, Jubilee Jenkins,**_ quipped Hellenos. _**That was almost fortune cookie worthy.**_

 _What do you know about fortune cookies?_ she thought irritably. _And how can you be so flippant right now? This case is starting to go way south._ Nervously she waited for L's rebuttal of the others' demands, which would undoubtedly call on her to give a testimony.

Hellenos sobered ever so slightly, and said, _**It is in dark times that a light heart is the most necessary.**_

This only made Jubilee feel worse. What dark times were ahead of them? To her left she noticed L, the gray haze around him darkening into a shadow that dimmed his usual light.

"I suppose that you are right," he said at last, slowly and softly. The line over his head wobbled and cracked, but didn't entirely break. He continued to mechanically stack a final creamer container to the top of his tower, then suddenly stopped. The haze around him remained a stagnant gray, no lights or colors resurfacing from underneath it. He set the creamer container back down on the desk, his tower unfinished. "I understand," he continued stoically, voice void of any emotion. "Please accept my apologies for all the trouble." Again the line over his head wobbled but only cracked.

Jubilee stared at him and at the line. _What?_ Wasn't he going to—

"Thank goodness," breathed Soichiro in relief, walking up to his son and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Light had risen to meet his father with a warm smile. "Yeah," he agreed. "But we still can't say that we've solved the case." He turned to L then. "Would it be alright for me to continue investigating with you—" He lifted his arm, the handcuffs rattling. "—Without these on?"

Jubilee waited for L to recant his statement, to stand up and declare to everyone that Light was Kira and the jig was up. But L didn't look at her, or at Light. He simply stared ahead at his computer. "Yes," was all he said. His tone was still emotionless, but to Jubilee, it sounded almost sad, somehow.

She looked between him and Light, who was smiling amiably at the detective. Around the younger man, shadows swirled and darkened, hundreds of knives writhing in his body as if they were searching for his soul. And they were, she suddenly realized...because this man was a liar and a murderer who had gotten what he wanted, and his next target was the man she was in love with.

"Wait a second," she said, getting up.

Everyone turned to stare at her.

She stood to face Light, who gave her a curious but polite look.

"Light," she began. Her voice shook, and she didn't know if it was in fear or in anger. "I know that you're Kira."

The room was still at her pronouncement. Over Light, the shadows darkened even more, though on his face he wore a benign and confused expression.

"Miss Julie," began Matsuda nervously, "Didn't you hear what Aizawa read just now? There's no way that Light or Misa could be Kira, or they'd both be—"

"That rule doesn't apply to him." She pointed a trembling finger over at Rem. "That shinigami is lying. And you," She swung her finger over to Light. "Are also lying. I can see it."

There was another long, tense pause. Jubilee waited anxiously for L to say something smart to back her up, but there was only silence. The detective barely looked at her, still hunched over in his seat. There were still no colors or lights coming from him.

It was Light who finally broke the silence with an awkward chuckle. "Julie," he said, stepping forward. "I know you feel frustrated and overwhelmed with everything that just happened. We all are." He reached out for her shoulder. "Why don't you just get some rest and—"

"No!" she cried, swatting his hand away, suddenly frantic. "Light, I can _see_ it! The haze, the darkness, everything that was there on you when you were the first Kira. Everything except for the shinigami that was following you back then. You have your memories back, don't you? I—I don't know why you're doing what you're doing, Light, but..." Her voice was shaking with tears and frustration. "But you need to stop. This isn't you! The Light that I know wouldn't—wouldn't _kill_ people. Please, just...I'm sorry..." She put her hands to her face, suddenly overwhelmed. She was in over her head here, and there was no help coming from L. "I'm sorry to do this to you...to accuse you, because—because you're my friend, Light! I don't want to do this, but...but _you_ can't do this either."

She trailed off into an awkward and uncomfortable silence. Light just gazed at her, looking hurt and confused.

Aizawa stepped forward. "Julie," he said sternly. "Light was never the first Kira. That's clear now. Just look at the evidence."

"I _am_ looking at evidence!" she cried, turning on the man. "Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!" She stared at Aizawa with wide eyes. "You can see the shinigami now, just like I can," she said softly. "You know that I'm not crazy. So why do you still not believe me?"

Aizawa's brow furrowed for a moment as though in irritation, before he smoothed it and said to her, slowly and patiently like she was a child, "The notebook clearly says that anyone who writes in the notebook and doesn't keep writing for thirteen days, will—"

"I know what it says!" Jubilee exploded. "It's a lie. Or it only applies to that particular notebook, I don't know. All I know, is that those two—" She pointed at Light and the shinigami. "Are lying! I know you wouldn't believe me before, because you couldn't see what I could see—but now you do!" She jabbed her finger towards Rem once more. "You can see the evidence! You can see her, just like I can see her! So you _know_ that I'm not making all this up, and that what I see is—"

"How does she know it's a 'her'?" whispered Matsuda quietly to Soichiro, who ignored him and stepped forward to join in the conversation.

"Miss Julie," said the former chief. "We didn't believe you before about shinigamis existing, and we turned out to be wrong. I apologize for that. You are right...now we see the evidence with our own eyes. But we have to take into account all the evidence that we see and hear...and that includes the rules written inside the notebook. Until we see any further proof, there is no reason to keep my son in chains for any longer than he already has been."

Jubilee deflated. She suddenly realized that she was fighting a losing battle. So, this was why L hadn't even tried. She turned to him then. He was looking at her, from underneath his mop of black hair. Though his expression remained unreadable, she thought she could hear, in a distant corner of her mind, the voice of a thought tinged with remorse and defeat.

 _I'm sorry, Miss Amachi._

She closed her eyes. He had known. He had known that no one would believe supernatural evidence without having any physical evidence to back it up.

From another corner of her mind, she heard the voice of another thought, this time gleeful and triumphant.

 _I've_ _won_ _._

Jubilee clenched her fists and glared at the person who the thought had come from. Light.

 _Not if I can help it,_ she vowed to herself.

* * *

"Oh, Light!" cried Misa, throwing herself into the brown-haired man's arms. "I'll miss you…be sure to send me text messages everyday, okay?"

Light said nothing, but obligingly held the girl close as he let his bangs fall into his face, hiding his eyes. He took note of the task force members standing a few feet to his left who had come to see Misa off. Julie Amachi was among them. L was nowhere to be seen.

The freak was probably still back at his desk, brooding and sulking, because he knew that Light had now won.

A loud and mournful sniff from Matsuda interrupted Light's thoughts. "After all this time," cried the other man, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve, "We're saying goodbye to Misa-Misa!"

Aizawa rolled his eyes and grabbed the other man by the shoulder. "Knock it off," he huffed in exasperation as he began to pull Matsuda back towards the stairs. "Come on, let's give them some privacy."

"Goodbye, Misa-Misa!" cried Matsuda as he was dragged away. Soichiro and Mogi turned to follow them.

Only Julie lingered, awkwardly shifting on her feet like she wanted to say something. She kept glancing to her right, as though looking for direction from someone.

Light pointedly pulled Misa closer and buried his face between her neck and shoulder, much to the blonde's delight, who only hugged him tighter. They looked for all the world like a couple madly in love and saying a tearful farewell. Misa didn't seem to even notice the other girl.

Julie shifted awkwardly again. "Goodbye, Misa," she whispered at last, in a voice that sounded sad and defeated, and finally turned to go. Misa didn't seem to have heard her.

As soon as he was sure that she was out of earshot, Light whispered into Misa's hair. "Misa…I'm going to tell you about a special place." His back was turned to the surveillance cameras, and he knew that there was no way anyone would be able to see his face or his lips move from this angle. He continued, "I want you to dig up something from there, but make sure that no one is watching."

The blonde jolted in his arms. She buried her face into his chest and whispered, delightedly, "You have your memories back! Rem told me about—"

"Shh." He placed a firm hand on her head, as though in a loving gesture. "Don't speak. Just listen."

Misa nodded into his chest, bouncing on her toes with excitement.

He brought his lips to her ear again, as though to kiss her there. "I'll tell you where you need to go in just a minute. When you get there, you'll find some instructions that I want you to follow…but, I want you to add something to them."

Here Misa spoke up again. "Add something? You mean, write them into the instructions?"

Light's hand tightened slightly over her head, but he said, gently, "No. Hush. The instructions will be about a certain someone. But I want you to apply those instructions not only to that person, but to one other person as well."

Misa opened her mouth to ask another question, then shut it and waited.

"That other person," Light continued, voice just barely above a whisper, "Is Julie Amachi."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed, including guest reviewers.**

 ** _BlueGrey_ , of course I remember you! Good to hear from you again, and thank you for the kind words and constructive feedback. Your request has been heard! I, too, want to see even more interaction between L and Jubilee; so if you are wanting that too, then what am I waiting for, right? XD Most of this chapter and the beginning of the next was written already by the time you reviewed, but be assured that I will be keeping this point in mind as things progress.**

 ** _Big Fan_ , lovely to hear from you again as well! Excellent questions. For some reason I envision Watari to specialize in a bunch of tiny, fancy desserts, like macarons and those little stacked cakes with wafer layers—in addition to his signature tiramisu. (Not sure where I got the idea of him making tiramisu from either...maybe I just really like tiramisu.) Misa probably spent the first two minutes of her time tied up trying to get free, which of course didn't work because L knows how to tie his knots. Then she probably whined to herself a bit, considered throwing herself sideways in order to scooch along the ground, then decided it wasn't worth it to mess up her hair and get dirt on her clothes. So she spent the rest of the time alternating between pouting and daydreaming about Light, until L finally got back with the others, untied her and sent her off to her room. **

**The next chapter has been started! Expect it in the next two weeks.**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Misa kneeled in a dark and remote corner of a forest, alone. Throwing aside the small shovel she had been using, she dug her hands into the dirt at the foot of a tall beech tree, retrieving a medium, flat box. Lifting its lid, she found a black notebook with two words etched on its cover in white.

 _Death Note._

Curiously, she picked up the book. Then she gasped and gave a little yelp, as a surge of forgotten memories suddenly awakened in her...of a purple-haired demon following her around like a puppy and constant companion...of hours were spent writing names into the notebook that the demon, Rem, had given her...of days dreaming of and looking for Kira, her savior…

She remembered laying eyes on Light for the first time from afar, in Aoyama. She remembered seeing him through the haze of red that were her shinigami eyes—seeing that he was the only one among hundreds of people who had no lifespan floating under his name...a name that was the name of her hero, the object of her worship, and the man she had been searching for: _Light Yagami_.

She remembered following him to his house, thanking him for avenging her parents' murders, and confessing her love. She remembered his lips on hers.

And she remembered the plan.

"I remember…everything," she whispered aloud. Then she squealed with delight, flipping through the familiar notebook. "I remember everything from when this notebook was mine!"

Light had buried it here for her to regain her memories later. She sighed happily at the thought of him. Light. He was so smart, and so wonderful. Her savior.

A slip of folded paper fell out of the notebook, catching her eye. She bent to pick it up. Inscribed on the outside were the words: _For Misa. Light Yagami._

"A letter from Light!" she exclaimed happily, then opened it to read.

 _Dear Misa_ , it said. _By the time you read this letter, you should have remembered everything. Do you remember my friend at To-oh University who went by the name Hideki Ryuga? I want you to write his name in the notebook and kill him. Also, burn this letter, hide a few pages of the notebook with you, and bury the notebook. When you meet me again, casually touch me with a piece of the notebook. If you do this, Misa Amane, I will love you for the rest of my life.  
_ The final sentence seared through Misa's consciousness like a flaming torch. _Love you for the rest of my life—Rest of my life—Rest of my life…_

Misa squealed like a happy child. "Yes! Yes, I'll do it!"

With ecstatic fervor she grabbed a pen from out of her purse, flipped to a blank page in the notebook, and bent over to write. Now she could finally be useful to Light. Now she could show him that she was a woman worthy to be by his side for their rest of their lives. Now she could finally help him remove his greatest obstacle—Hideki Ryuga, who was Ryuzaki, who was L.

With glee she brought the pen to the page, and then stopped as her mind drew a sudden blank. She stayed kneeled like that for a moment, fist clenched around her writing utensil and teeth gritted. Then she threw the pen to the ground and wailed.

"I can't remember his name!" she moaned to the silent trees. Desperate, she thumped her fists at her temples, but it was no good. She had seen hundreds of names and lifespans every single day while she had the shinigami eyes. She couldn't possibly remember one out of the million…and how could she have known, back then, that that weirdo she had seen Light standing next to outside of his school was none other than his nemesis, L? She hadn't paid enough attention at the time to the name over his head to remember it.

"Argh," she growled, then picked up the pen again. Well, at least there was something she _could_ do for now. Julie's name she knew, and Light had wanted her to write it down too.

Without delay, Misa wrote it onto the blank page in a quick, messy scribble. _Julie Amachi._ Then she sat back on her heels with a sigh of satisfaction.

"There," she said to herself.

She gazed at the name she had written. For a brief moment, the slightest shred of remorse entered into her consciousness. She shook her head and quashed the notion. Julie had been her friend, yes…but there was something about Julie that made her dangerous. Something that made her know things she shouldn't know. Something that didn't make sense.

And in any case, it was too late now.

"Sorry, Julie," she whispered softly to the page. "But it's every woman for her man…and you chose the wrong one to side with."

Anyone who got in Light's way, and in the way of Light and her being together, she would not hesitate to destroy.

Throwing away the last vestiges of guilt that she felt, she got to her feet and sighed, putting her hands to her hips. Now there was just the matter of figuring out what L's real name was. It was too bad that her shinigami eyes hadn't returned to her along with her memories. How unfair! She would just have to make the deal for the eyes again, even if it did mean halving her lifespan one more time…but for Light, it would be worth it.

A sudden rustle in the trees startled her, and she looked up. There, landing in the trees, was a tall, winged demon with gray skin, bulging yellow eyes, and spiky black hair.

"I have returned to the human world!" he announced with a cackle.

Misa stared at him for a second. Then gave a cry of delight. "Ryuk!"

The demon flew down from the branch and landed on his feet. "Glad to see you remember me, kid."

"Oh, you are just the person I wanted to see right now!" exclaimed Misa, clapping her hands. "Well, you or Rem. Any shinigami, really…Oh! But I do have something just for you." She began to dig through her purse.

"Eh? What would that be?" said the demon, scratching his head with a long claw. "And why were you wanting to see a shinigami?"

"Oh, just something Light told me to bring for you," she said airily in response to the first question. "Where is it…" she muttered as she dug around in the purse. She was carrying her big, throw-anything-and-everything-in-it one today. It was super inconvenient. "Anyway," she went on as she continued her search, "I wanted to see one of you, because I want to make the deal for the eyes again."

The demon went still before her.

"You do know what that means, don't you?" he said after a long pause, his voice low and gravelly. "Your lifespan will be halved again."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," huffed Misa, still searching through her bag. "But what choice do I have? I need to find a name for Light. Ah! Here it is!" She withdrew her hand from out of the bag, brandishing a bright, red apple. "Ta-da! Your favorite, right? So, what do you say?" She dangled the fruit before him like a prize, her lips upturned in a coy smile. "Deal?"

Ryuk swooped forward and grabbed the apple.

"Deal," he cackled.

* * *

 _Jubilee was looking at the world through someone else's eyes. She wasn't sure who. The world was tinged with red, and over a sea of bustling people the air was filled with letters and numbers floating over every person's head. Except one boy in the crowd lacked any numbers underneath the letters, which spelled..._ _ **Light Yagami**_ _._

 _The scene changed. Jubilee was standing outside of To-Oh University. In front of her stood L, gawking at her with wide eyes. Over his head a name and number hovered._

 _ **L Lawliet. 326.**_

 _Again the scene shifted. Jubilee saw herself, standing outside of headquarters and wearing a mournful expression. Although the air was still tinged with red, there was no name or number hanging over her head...only a complex crest of bright, interwoven wisps of light rising up from the crown of her head. The light intensified until the red tinge lifted and the scene blurred, then shifted again..._

 _And rapidly began to change from one image to the next: A girl's hand scrawling the name,_ _ **Julie Amachi,**_ _into a notebook. L sharing his plate of tiramisu with Jubilee. A_ _ **7**_ _floating over his head. L removing the handcuffs from his and Light's wrists, a_ _ **3**_ _hovering over his head. L sitting downstairs in front of his computer in the dead of night, alone. The_ _ **3**_ _turning into a_ _ **2**_ _. A strange, clawed hand writing the name from before,_ _ **L Lawliet,**_ _into a notebook._

 _And then L falling from his chair...falling...falling..._

 _..._

Jubilee jolted awake, sweating. The red glare of her bedside alarm clock shone into her eyes, reading 3:21 AM.

"Three," she whispered groggily to herself, faint images of reddish numbers flitting briefly through her mind's eye before fading. "Two..."

Suddenly unbearably hot, she threw the covers off of herself and sat up. At the foot of her bed Hellenos stood, shining softly.

 _ **Can't sleep?**_ he said.

She shook her head. "It's hot in here," she grumbled. The clear image of L sitting downstairs, alone, wisped through her mind before retreating back into her subconscious again. "I—I think I'm going to get some fresh air," she said, swinging her legs out of bed and getting to her feet.

Hellenos said nothing, simply glided after her as she left her room and padded quietly down the hall.

Passing Watari's office, she paused briefly, her knuckles upraised to knock. The old man liked to stay up late sometimes, but he did still sleep on occasion. Lowering her hand, she continued down the hall, past Misa's now empty room, and stopped at the elevator, pressing the down button.

Who was she kidding? She had been wanting to go downstairs from the start. Memories of L's face from the day before, void of emotion, and the sound of his thoughts, defeated and despondent as he removed Light's handcuffs, filled her head. The memory of the old Light, imbued with a happy yellow glow while sitting by the detective's side, seemed to fade like an old, vintage photograph.

The doors opened and she entered the elevator, along with Hellenos.

"Do you think he's lonely?" she whispered softly as they descended. "Without having Light there with him anymore?"

It was a strange thought, seeing as L had never stopped suspecting Light of being Kira, and the latter was now trying to do him in, but she couldn't stop thinking it nonetheless.

 _ **You could ask him yourself.**_

Jubilee blew air out through her lips in response, just as the doors opened to the darkness of the main room. She stepped out, Hellenos following. Ahead of them, dim light shone from the surveillance monitor and one lone computer screen. L sat hunched before it, shrouded in his usual gray haze.

"Good evening, Miss Amachi," he said without turning around.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked, approaching and taking a seat next to him. Hellenos took up position a few feet away.

L didn't turn to her. "Watari is in for the night, Light has returned home to see his mother and sister, and out of the remaining task force members, you are the most likely to have trouble sleeping peacefully this evening." He pointed a slim finger at the main monitor without lifting his head. "And I saw you coming down the elevator."

She rolled her eyes. "Just say that from the start, why don't you."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?"

Jubilee drummed her fingers awkwardly on the desk. "I...thought you could use the company. It's been a while since you've been alone."

L's tone remained apathetic. "I've always been alone," he said. The line over his head wavered ever so slightly.

She crossed her arms. "See, that's exactly what I used to tell myself. But then you locked me up in a room by myself for fifty days, and I started missing even the brattiest kids back at Wakahisa." She gave him a sidelong glance. "You've had Light next to you for the last—what? Half a year? And when you guys weren't kicking each other in the face, you actually acted kind of like friends half the time."

She let the statement hang in the air for a second. L remained silent, neither agreeing or refuting her. The haze around him remained gray and dim, without any hint of color or light. She softened.

"You're human, Ryuzaki," she said gently. "Whether you like to admit it or not. And it's hard for humans to lose their friends, even if the friendship was short-lived, or—under false pretenses." Memories of Alyssa and Adam flashed briefly through her head, and she added softly, "I know better than most."

L said nothing for a moment. Then he inclined his head her way slightly without looking at her. "I'm sure you do, Miss Amachi," he said. "And I'm sorry."

She waved away his apology. "Forget about it, I'm not fishing for pity."

"I mean for your solitary confinement. I'm sorry for putting you through that."

She stopped at that and looked at him. The line over his head was straight and unwavering. "I know you are," she said quietly. "And I already forgave you."

He dipped his head but still didn't look her way. "My thanks."

There was another awkward pause, before she added with a laugh, "Took me a while though."

L didn't laugh. "Watari always says, how you end up matters more than how you started."

"Watari's very wise."

"That he is."

They settled into another, more comfortable silence this time. She stared up at the ceiling, willing herself to speak the words that were on her mind.

"I still believe in you," she managed at last. There was no answer from L and she felt her cheeks heat. "That—that you'll figure out a way...to solve this case, and to catch Kira," she added quickly.

L didn't speak for a long moment. "How can you?" he said finally, in a voice so low that she could barely hear. "I am on the verge of being checkmated."

Jubilee whipped her head back around to him in alarm. The line over his head was straight, making her heart plummet. He really believed that? But, if someone like L believed something, then that meant...

"That's not true," she protested frantically, as much to herself as to him. "Don't say things like that. You'll find a way, you always do."

"Perhaps," he murmured. The line over his head trembled and cracked, but didn't quite break.

She stared at that line for a second, breath held. When it continued to hold, she exhaled in relief. Then she reached over and punched him in the arm, hard.

He finally turned to her, eyes wide with surprise. "What—"

"You _do_ believe that there might be a way!" she cried. "Even if it's just a little bit. I can see it!" she added, waving towards the space over his head, slightly hysterical. "So don't scare me by making it sound like you're about to die or something."

He continued to stare at her for a moment, his eyes large and gray, before they slowly narrowed. "I believe that there is a five to ten percent chance that things may turn around, simply because common sense posits that there must always be room left for the unexpected. But," His voice took on a bitter tone. "I'm sure that even you, Miss Amachi, can see that those chances are, as they say, slim to none."

Jubilee suddenly remembered something that Christine used to say to her, something that used to annoy her like no other, but that she now heard coming out of her own lips. " _If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,_ " she whispered, quoting the familiar verse, "Even if it's small...anything is possible. So," she continued, leaning forward, "Believe in yourself, Ryuzaki...because I do."

He looked sidelong at her, his expression a mixture of doubt and annoyance. "Why is it so important to you what I do or don't believe?" he said, almost sounding sour. "What will happen will happen."

"Because you're the mighty L," she declared. "The greatest detective in the world. Remember? And if you believe something is so...then I _know_ that it will be so."

He looked at her a moment longer, then turned away, his hair falling into his eyes. "You put far too much faith in me, Miss Amachi."

She felt a sudden surge of anger and frustration—at him for wanting to give up, at herself for failing to have done more for the case and for him, at Light and the notebook and the powers that were responsible for causing this whole mess. She put a hand on the desk and stood abruptly. "On the contrary, Ryuzaki," she began, with sudden resolve. "I haven't show _enough_ faith in you up until this point...even though you've put plenty of undeserved faith and trust in me. So now it's my turn to remind you of who you are and what you're capable of." She swiveled his chair round to face her, gripping the arms of the chair and leaning down so that he had to look at her. "You are L. No case is too hard for you. You _can_ solve this case, and you _will_ solve this case...not because you are good at it, or for your own sake, or because of your abilities...but because it is needed of you, for the sake of others," she said, repeating his own words back that he had used to exhort her only a week ago. Gazing into his eyes, she continued, "I was wrong about you in the beginning, Ryuzaki...I thought that you only cared about yourself and the case. But now I know better. I know that—that you have far too much goodness in you, to ultimately let your doubts, and the circumstances, win out over your desire to help others. I can see that in you...perhaps more than you can see it yourself."

L gazed back at her in silence, his face unreadable at first. Then, from beyond the haze of gray around him, there glimmered the slightest hint of light. "Well," he said finally. "I suppose I cannot deny that you do see even more than I can from time to time." Then, slowly, gentle colors began to unfurl from around him like a blossoming flower, and his expression softened into the closest thing to a smile she had ever seen from him.

Jubilee felt her heart thump. Their close proximity suddenly registered with her. Releasing her grip from the chair, she straightened and took a few steps back. "Yes, well," she said, turning to hide the flush that had come to her cheeks. Miraculously she managed not to stutter. "That's why you should listen to me."

"I will, Miss Amachi." There was a pause. "Thank you."

She made a noncommittal sound of acknowledgment and sat back down, willing her heart rate to return to normal and swiveling to face the back of the room in an attempt hide her discomposure. She was met with Hellenos—who was wearing a big grin on his face.

 _What are_ _you __looking at?_ she thought with a scowl.

 _ **Oh nothing,**_ he answered, still grinning. _**Just thought I'd have to wait another thousand years before you finally expressed your feelings to him.**_

 _I didn't,_ she thought, alarmed. _...Did I?_

"Miss Amachi," said L.

She turned to him, schooling her features into a semblance of calm. "Yes?"

He was gazing at her with a thoughtful look. "Watari used to try to get me to understand...the virtues of seeing and believing the best in others," he began. "He demonstrated by example—first and foremost with me. I have never encountered anyone else who saw me in such a way, and was convinced that I never would." He hesitated a moment, the colors around him churning as though in uncertainty. "I would like to let you know though, Miss Amachi..." he continued, slowly, "That I believe you may have proven me wrong."

Jubilee's heart skipped a beat. She remembered the story Watari had told her, and now, combined with the memory of the event coming from L's own mind, an image of the past formed clearly in her mind's eye. _Love is simply seeing and believing the best in something or someone, even when others don't,_ were the old man's words to a younger L, a twinkle in his eye. _Just like I do, with you._

She swallowed. For the first time ever, a glimmer of hope sparked in her chest. "Then do you, understand now?" she asked, trying to sound casual. "What Watari was talking about?"

L paused, seemingly mulling the thought over in his mind. "No," he answered at last, turning back to his computer. Jubilee felt the spark in her chest go out. "But," he continued softly, "I think I'm beginning to."

Jubilee felt the hope from before flicker back to life. She smiled. "Take all the time that you need," she said. "How you end up matters more than how you started, isn't that what Watari would say?"

"Yes," L muttered. He paused again, as though lost in a memory. "But," he went on sardonically, "I may die before I ever grasp what it was he was talking about."

Jubilee was about to laugh off his statement, before the echo of similar words from a younger L whispered through her mind, followed by the strange but familiar image of a man falling from a chair—falling, falling. She shook her head to clear it, and the image faded. Suddenly somber, she turned away.

"Not if I can help it," she whispered, too softly for anyone but Hellenos to hear.

* * *

 **A/N: Happy spring, guys! (To those in the springtime hemisphere.) Thank you all for your patience...this chapter is later than I intended, but as Watari or Hellenos or someone in this story would probably say, better late than never, right? I've been working on both this and a collaborative script for a radio play podcast that's going to be about alchemy and time travel. That's not an excuse, but just a little peek into my writer's corner.**

 **As always, thank you wonderful readers and reviewers! _Big Fan_ , I absolutely loved the story you shared about your late pastor, it made me laugh and put a smile on my face. He sounds like he was a great guy, and I look forward to meeting him in eternity one day. _Panera_ , your in-depth analysis and fan theories for a fanfic story give me great delight, and I'm always impressed with the level of insight you bring. Now that is my kind of geekery! Seriously, some of your guys' longer reviews are so eloquent and thoughtful, YOU should be writing your own work as well—if you're not already.**

 **In short, you guys are the best. Pray for me to get the next chapter out in the next two weeks. Until then!**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Light leaned back in his chair at headquarters, hiding a satisfied smirk behind one hand. Things were going so well that he could hardly believe his good fortune. To his right sat L in his usual freakish crouch, staring unblinkingly at his computer screen like some creature from the undead. Which he might as well be, considering that he would die soon.

To Light's left, Julie sat slumped in her chair, brooding. Light's smirk widened. No doubt she was still sulking about her failed attempt to accuse him of being Kira yesterday.

A _ding_ -ing sounded overhead, signifying someone at the main entrance. Everyone looked to the big surveillance monitor. Misa was standing outside of the downstairs entrance, waving cheerily up at the camera and mouthing words that couldn't be heard. It looked like something along the lines of, _I'm here to see my boooooyfriend!_

Light stood and turned to Soichiro. "Dad, is it okay if I...?"

"Sure, son." The older man gave Light a warm smile. "Take a break."

Light returned his father's smile. "Thanks, Dad."

With that, he turned and made his way to the stairwell. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Julie swivel to watch him go.

 _Watch me all you want,_ he thought. _And see all you can see, because it won't matter. You'll be dead soon._ Julie Amachi may have had supernatural sight, but he was the one who had the Death Note, the smarts and the charisma. No matter what Julie could see, it wouldn't do her any good if she couldn't get anyone to believe her.

Satisfied with that thought, he plastered a charming smile onto his face as he stepped through the main doors of HQ and out into the sunlight. Misa immediately bounded into his arms.

"Light!" she squealed. "Oh, it's so good to see you! I've missed you so much." She snuggled her face into his chest.

Light kissed the top of her head. "Have you done what I asked?"

"Yes!" Misa cried, then discreetly touched a scrap of paper hidden in her hand to his arm.

Instantly a large, black-haired demon materialized before Light's eyes behind Misa.

Light smiled. "Good to see you again, Ryuk."

Ryuk's only reply was a long, gleeful cackle.

"Light," said Misa, tugging at his sleeve. "There's something I have to tell you." She looked to the ground and shuffled her feet. "I—I forgot what Hideki Ryuga's real name was..." At this her expression crumpled and she wailed, "I'm sorry! It's just that I saw so many names every day and I...I'm so sorry!"

Light put on a carefully practiced expression of disappointment. "I see," he said simply. "Well." He sighed lightly and turned away. "I suppose it can't be helped."

"But it'll be alright!" interjected Misa, skipping around to face him once more. "I can still do what you asked...because I got the eyes again!"

He took her by the shoulders, concern and alarm decorating his features. "You idiot!" he cried. Inwardly he applauded himself. He should've been an actor. "You know that means halving your lifespan again!"

"I know," said Misa softly, looking down at the ground once more. "But, it's worth it if it's for you, Light." She looked back up again, meekly. "And besides that, I—I wrote down Julie's name, too."

Light pretended surprise again. "You did? She's still alive."

Misa's eyes widened. "What? But...how? I know I spelled it right and everything!"

Light heaved a genuine sigh this time. Really, it was expected. He had long suspected that Julie wasn't using her real name. Even so, it was still an annoyance. No matter though, he had planned in advance for this. From day one, even before Julie had shown up, he had been counting on Misa's infatuation with him to drive her into making the deal for the shinigami eyes a second time.

Out loud he said, as though only just realizing it, "It must not be her true name."

Misa balled her hands into tiny fists, suddenly looking like she would cry. "I swear, Light..." she began, her voice shaking. "I'll kill both Ryuzaki _and_ Julie for you! Now that I have the eyes, I can do it! Just let me see their faces and I'll—"

She was interrupted by the sound of sliding doors opening behind them. They both turned. Julie Amachi stepped out, casting them both nervous glances.

"Hi, Misa," she said softly.

Light gave her a welcoming smile that just barely managed to disguise his inward glee.

The timing could not have been more perfect.

* * *

Julie had noticed the demon on the surveillance monitor right away. She was barely able to hold back a yelp of surprise and recognition.

The thing that had been following Light from before was back.

Her mind whirled as she assessed what she was seeing. In front of the demon stood Misa, her bubblegum pink hue gone and replaced with a haze as dark as the one surrounding Light. Jubilee felt her stomach drop.

So. Misa truly was the second Kira.

Beside Jubilee Light got to his feet and got permission from Soichiro to go downstairs. Jubilee turned to watch him go, her eyes narrowed. The haze around him was as black as ever.

Her eyes caught sight of Rem then, standing silently in the back of the room across from Hellenos. Both angel and demon had made not a sound this whole time, nor given each other so much as a glance since Hellenos had entered with Jubilee that morning and taken up position in a corner opposite the shinigami. Jubilee had practically forgotten that they were there, so well had they faded into the background. But now the air around Rem shimmered with a color Jubilee would have never thought to see from a shinigami. It was the color of concern.

Jubilee stared. Rem was gazing at the overhead monitor, straight at Misa, and the color around her swirled and churned with a mixture of fear and anger. The emotions didn't seem to be directed _at_ Misa, but rather... _for_ her.

Jubilee gave a start. The shinigami was...worried for Misa?

She whirled back to stare hard at the monitor. What was it that gave the demon cause for concern? Was it the black haze around Misa, or something else?

Onscreen, Light walked out from the entrance and Misa ran into his arms. Their respective black hazes collided and then slid easily into each other, becoming one. The sight made Jubilee feel sick to her stomach. She turned away, clutching at her abdomen. That was when she noticed L.

The detective was crouched in his chair, staring up at the pair onscreen. Around him, all colors receded into his gray haze and then faded, before the gray darkened considerably. He hung his head.

 _I've lost_ , she heard in her head.

She stood so abruptly that her chair toppled backwards. Everyone in the room turned to stare at her, including L. He gave her a questioning look.

"Ryuzaki," she began, her voice quavering. She glanced again at the screen, where Misa and Light were making a show of canoodling and whispering who knew what to each other. Behind them, the other black-haired demon loomed with a sinister grin. She clenched her fists and turned to face L again, willing her voice to be level. "Permission to meet with Misa at the entrance—please," she added hurriedly.

L gazed at her, an expression of mild surprise on his face. Then he seemed to scrutinize her. She held her breath. She was asking L to let her leave the building on her own, albeit a few feet, but it was still against their original agreement. Though perhaps, if he trusted her enough—

"Permission granted," he said. Around him the faintest wisp of light winked from beyond the gray.

She let out a breath. "Thanks, boss," she said softly, and gave him a warm smile. _For trusting me_ , she thought. Then she turned and ran for the exit. Hellenos met her at the door, falling into rapid step with her, and they both passed Rem, who turned to watch them go with a look of curiosity.

Behind them Jubilee could hear Matsuda remark, "Wow, she must've really missed Misa-Misa, huh?" And then she was out the door and dashing down the stairs, Hellenos on her heels.

When she burst through the doors of headquarters into the sunlight, there was a brief millisecond of surreal realization that she was free—that this was the first time she had stepped foot outside of headquarters on her own for almost a year. That, if she wanted to, she could keep on running, just like she always had...away from the case, away from Japan, away from Kira and this whole mess.

But she no longer wanted to run.

Light, Misa, and the demon all turned to face her. She stared back at them, breathing hard. Hellenos stood tall and bright behind her.

"Hi, Misa," she said.

Misa looked at her, blinked twice, then suddenly winced as though in great pain. She turned away, shielding her eyes.

" _You_ ," said the demon. Its voice was low and gravelly. She didn't know if it was talking to her or to Hellenos. "So _you're_ the marked one."

Misa glanced up at the demon, bewildered by this statement. Light, to his credit, kept a stoic face and acted as though he had heard nothing, though Jubilee could tell from the sudden violent spike in his haze that he was just as surprised as Misa. She ignored both him and the demon for the moment.

"Misa," she said again, stepping forward. "We have to talk."

"I have to go," stammered Misa, but faced Light instead of her. "I'll—I'll see you later, Light."

Jubilee stopped, taken aback. Around Misa the black haze bubbled over with—what was that? Jubilee started, nausea suddenly forming in the pit of her stomach. Hatred was what she felt rolling off of Misa in waves. Hatred—and fear.

"Wait," she said weakly, trying again. She reached a hand towards the other girl. "Please, Misa, just...just look at me, for a second."

Misa turned her way then, but winced again upon meeting her eyes before turning away once more. "Don't look at me like that," she hissed, glaring at the ground. "You don't look good when you're about to cry. It hurts just to look at your face." With that, she walked away as fast as her petite feet would carry her.

"Misa?" said Light, looking genuinely confused, but Misa was already too far to hear him. He turned to Jubilee. "I'm...sorry about that," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know what's gotten into her. Are you alright?"

Jubilee realized that tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. She scrubbed at them with a sleeve.

"Light," she began through grit teeth. "Stop this."

Light cocked his head at her. "Stop what, Julie?"

"Pretending!" She took a step forward and pointed at the demon behind him. "I can see that shinigami. I know that you can see it, too—"

"I prefer the pronoun 'him,' not 'it,' if you please," said the demon, sounding amused. "Just a personal choice—you know how that is these days."

Jubilee glanced warily at the dark being. Light still managed to look oblivious to the demon behind him, though the haze around him flattened with annoyance.

"Him," she amended slowly. "You can see and hear him, Light. I can tell."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Julie," said Light, in a tone of measured patience. "This is starting to get out of hand—"

"And I've watched hundreds of hours of surveillance of you, walking and talking with that thing," she continued, voice rising. "I've watched you kill using the Death Note, on surveillance and in real life." She marched up to him, glaring into his face. " _You_ killed Higuchi that day, didn't you?"

Light gazed down at her. An expression of surprise and anger flickered through his eyes, too quickly for the normal human eye to catch, but not unnoticed by Jubilee.

"Ouch," muttered the demon in the background. "First I'm an 'it,' now I'm 'that thing'? Humans truly are callous."

"Julie," said Light coolly. "How could I possibly have killed Higuchi that day? We've inspected the whole Death Note. Higuchi's name isn't written in it."

"I don't know how you did it, but I know that you did," said Jubilee. "Do you want to know how I know?" She stepped closer. "I know because every time you kill someone, I see a knife plunging into your body. One knife for every kill. Over and over again, stabbing into your flesh, and never going away. Hundreds and hundreds of knives." She was so close to him now that the haze was touching her, and she could smell the stench of death emanating from it. Nausea rolled through her, but she continued in a low voice, "You're covered with those knives, Light Yagami. But you're too blind—or too ignorant—to see them, or to care."

Light looked slightly unnerved then. He stared at her but said nothing.

The demon broke the silence with a long whistle. "And people say I'm scary," he chuckled.

At that, Light's gaze hardened. He took her by the shoulders and bent slightly to be eye level with her. "Julie, I don't know what's gotten into you," he said, slowly and firmly. "I would never kill anyone." The line over his head snapped violently, spraying them both with black dust. "I don't know if Ryuzaki put you up to this, or what...I know the two of have started getting close, but—"

Jubilee smacked his hands off of her, anger suddenly rising. "Don't you dare bring him into this! I know that you intend to kill him. But I swear, Light, if you so much as try to write him into the Death Note, I will—"

"You'll what?" asked Light. "What could either you or I do, if Kira found out Ryuzaki's real name and wrote it into a Death Note? How could we possibly stop him then?" He gave her mournful expression interwoven with hurt and righteous indignation. "I care about Ryuzaki just as much as you do, you know. He's my friend too." The line over his head snapped again.

Behind him the shinigami guffawed. "You're too good, Light! You could win an Oswald—or whatever those things are called."

"An _Oscar_ ," Jubilee corrected through grit teeth, still glaring at Light.

"Right, those," said the demon. "Never did like Oswalds. They tend to be too pious for me."

Light gave her a blank look, still ignoring the demon. "Oscar?" he echoed. "I don't know what you're saying, Julie."

For a third time, the line over his head snapped. And along with it, Jubilee felt the last of her patience snap as well.

Her hand flew out and she slapped Light across the face. He stumbled back a step and put hand to his cheek, wearing an expression of authentic shock.

"Cut it out!" she screamed at him. "What you're doing is wrong, Light! It's _evil!_ You're trying to be God, but you are nothing but a liar and a _murderer!_ "

He stared at her, wide-eyed. Behind him, the demon slowly started to snicker. Then he fell to the ground in unrestrained gales of laughter.

"This is too good!" he managed between chortles. "You humans are better than any of those television dramas you cook up." He sat up at grinned at the two of them. "I _love_ it. Please, do keep going."

Jubilee turned to the shinigami, alarmed by his statement. With a start she realized that she could not sense Hellenos anywhere, and had not been able to ever since Misa left. And then she noticed that the black haze surrounding Light had completely enveloped her.

Panicking, she stepped back. The black haze followed her, clinging to her like metal shavings to a magnet. She looked back at Light, whose hand was still to his cheek. As she took in the look of barely disguised fury in his eyes, the darkness around her flared up even more. With a sickening jolt she realized that what she was feeling right now was the same hatred she had felt coming from Misa earlier.

She squeezed her eyes shut. _Please Dad,_ she thought, _Do not let me hate this man._ She waited for a moment, but nothing happened. The feeling of cold rage did not lift. No voice whispered in her heart, no sign of Hellenos reappeared. Opening her eyes again, she stared down at her hand which had struck Light.

"I—I'm sorry, Light," she forced herself to say, struggling violently with herself. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and went on reluctantly, "I repaid you evil for evil. That was wrong of me."

A mask of cool indifference clicked into place in Light's eyes. "While I appreciate the apology, Julie," he said, his voice polite, "You're still implying that I am evil...which I do not appreciate."

Her hand balled into a fist again and she scowled at him, caught between rage and a feeling of helpless despair. She was powerless to fight against this anger and hatred that she suddenly felt towards the boy standing before her. Even as she watched the black haze around him expand and attach itself to her more and more, she could do nothing to stop it.

 _This isn't you,_ a voice whispered in her head. _Don't let them make you believe that it is._

Tears of frustration pricked at her eyes. _But it_ _feels_ _like me,_ she thought. Because what Light was doing was wrong, just plain _wrong_ , so how could he…

Something suddenly occurred to her. Wasn't this exactly how Kira thought? Wasn't this the same reason Kira gave for why he killed people? Murder all started with the belief that the person you were murdering was somehow in the wrong.

The realization made her go cold. How many people in the world were only a few steps away from being murderers themselves, through their very thoughts? All it took was a weapon from the demon world dropped into this one to make that temptation a reality and wreak havoc on the earth.

She let her hand unclench and fall to her side. "You're right," she said. "I've never been the best with my words. So please...let me try again." She stepped forward once more, back into Light's black haze. This time, she didn't try to fight or attack it. "I know that you believe what you're doing is right," she went on, slowly. "But what you started out of good intentions is now consuming you. I know because I can see it," she added, lifting a hand to gesture at the haze around him. "It's killing you slowly, from the inside out...and if you keep going down this route then one day there will be no way back. But Light—there's still time." She peered up into his face imploringly. For the briefest moment, a memory of the happy yellow hue that he used to radiate echoed through her mind. "There's still time to turn back," she continued, softening. Around her the blackness that had been clinging to her began to fall away, bit by bit. "It's not too late. I know the place that you're driving yourself towards, because I almost went there myself, and—and I don't want you to go there, Light." She paused as she suddenly realized just how true this was. A memory of the dark void that had once almost swallowed her up—its screams, sense of cold hopelessness and empty despair—flitted briefly through her head. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "I don't want _anyone_ to go there," she whispered, gazing down at the ground with a haunted look in her eyes. "No matter...no matter what they've done. I don't think you would either, if you knew what it was really like." She shuddered and looked back up, dispelling the memory. "So please... _please_. Stop this now. Tell that shinigami to go. Surrender the power of the Death Note. You have the power to do so, to be free from the darkness that's around you. But the choice is yours."

Falling silent, she gazed up pleadingly at Light. Behind him, the demon seemed to have grown darker, and the air around it pulsed with a tense, nervous energy, as though it were waiting for Light's response.

Light pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "This is getting ridiculous, Julie," he said, sounding irritated. "Tell _what_ shinigami to go? You honestly believe that there's _another_ shinigami here, even though Rem's still upstairs, and that I have Kira's power even though the Death Note is now under the custody of the police? I'm sorry to say it, Julie, I really am—but I think Aizawa and the others are right. You really are delusional."

There was a tense beat. Then, slowly, the shinigami behind Light started to cackle.

Jubilee stared at Light, grief-stricken. The old Light had never once spoken down to her—had always kept graciously silent when she was at her worst, and spoken words of encouragement to help her be at her best. Him, Misa, L, and her...the four of them had been friends, despite all of their differences and disagreements, and if only for a short time. They could have remained friends, too, if not for the stupid Death Note, which some stupid shinigami had dropped into the human world.

With that thought Jubilee whirled on the laughing demon. If Light wouldn't tell him to leave, then she would do it herself. There was scripture pertaining to this, wasn't there?

"You," she began, squaring her shoulders and doing her best to sound authoritative. "Be gone from here, in the name of—"

"Ah-ah-ah," said the shinigami, wagging a finger and rising up from his sitting position on the ground. Standing, he loomed over her a good ten feet, with bulging eyes and a menacing smile. "So sorry, human," he said. "But I'm not going to let you take away my fun again. Besides—" He glided towards her on dark wings. "You don't _really_ think that would work, do you?"

Jubilee stumbled back a step as the shinigami came near. Sudden terror gripped her as the air around her grew cold and thick, and she struggled to draw breath. "What—what do you mean, 'again'?" she stuttered.

The shinigami stopped less than a foot from her and tilted his head, looking amused. "Don't tell me you don't remember me." He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. "Because I remember the details like it was yesterday. Shall I jog your memory?" Reaching behind himself he produced a black notebook and flipped it open, riffling through pages.

Jubilee's heart hammered. It was another Death Note.

"Right here," said the shinigami, stopping at a page and jabbing a long, clawed finger to it. He turned the book around and held out the page for her to see, his claw tapping a spot in the upper right hand corner. Jubilee read the words there and her heart almost stopped.

 _Jubilee Jenkins,_ it read. _Dies in car crash due to drunk driving. Thinks of father in her last moments._

She gasped and backed up several steps, staring at the book.

"Pretty good, don't you think?" rasped the demon. "I always fancied myself a bit of a writer, adding in those little details. Really ups the tragedy a notch. And how about that nod toward the reap-what-you-sow rule? Somebody upstairs would approve."

Jubilee couldn't breathe. Her heart pounded as she continued to stare at her name on the page.

The demon grinned and pocketed the book, then leaned forward so that his face was inches from hers. "So you see, human," he continued, before his face formed into a terrifying scowl. "You and I have a little bit of history."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all the wonderful reviews. And a special thank you to the reviewers who sent me reminders when I was past the two week mark. It gave me the extra kick in the butt that I needed. There were so many amazing and smile-inducing reviews from guests this time around that I can't possibly give adequate enough thanks in one author's note. If any of you guys have accounts, I happily reply to reviews through PM if you ever want to log in. Otherwise, be assured that I read, love, and greatly appreciate getting to hear from every single one of you—whether it's repeatedly or even just once! This story wouldn't be what it is without the enthusiasm and energy you all have brought to it and inspired in me. So thank you, for being patient with me and for sticking around.**

 **I cut this chapter shorter than I had originally intended in favor of getting it out to you guys sooner. With the production of the radio play I'm in drawing to a close next weekend, I anticipate having more time to dedicate to this story again soon. So let's make the goal another two weeks! Until then, Love, joy and peace to all of you.**

 **~The Authoress~**

 **P.S. To the reviewer who bartered a bushel of apples in exchange for a new chapter ASAP today...I gladly accept the virtual fruit. Good doing business with you!**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

"I was supposed to gain a good seventy years from you," the dark-haired shinigami continued, straightening up. "But instead, I _lost_ seventy years because of you and that little stunt you pulled."

Jubilee stood rooted to the spot before the demon, her brain whirling. Images from the day of the accident came slamming back into her mind—the grogginess of the hangover, the yellow traffic light, the steel pole coming at her...the sound of sirens and the feeling of pain as she returned to consciousness. She remembered the shock of seeing new colors for the first time punctuated by the presence of otherworldly beings, some light and some dark, and one in particular emanating a shadow as black as the void she had escaped. The creature had been holding an open book in his hand with a pen poised above the page.

Everything clicked into place as she suddenly connected the dots. That book had been a Death Note, and the creature that had been holding it was the same one that stood before her now. Even as she made the realization, she could do nothing but stare up stupidly at him.

"You," she whispered, feeling faint. "That—that was you?"

The shinigami grinned. "The human finally remembers. Maybe that mush inside your skull isn't too far gone after all."

Jubilee backed up a step. "What—what are you doing in Japan?" she blurted.

At this the shinigami guffawed loud and long. "What am I doing a hop and a step away from that other land mass you came from? The sort of questions you creatures ask! This whole world is my playground, I'll have you know. What, did you think I was following you? Tch." He leaned forward again, his long torso bridging the gap between them, and smirked into her face. "You aren't _that_ special. Coincidences do happen, you know, much as Someone somewhere would like to have you disagree. And speaking of coincidences...I thought it was rather poetic, really, that James Jenkins' daughter should die the same way that he did. Don't you think so?"

Jubilee went still at the sound of her father's name.

"It was like the perfect follow-up, if I do say so myself," the demon went on. "Then again, I could be biased, since—" His voice lowered, like he was savoring what he would say next. "I did pen the first death, after all."

Jubilee's breath caught in her throat. "You—you mean..."

"Yes." The demon's grin grew impossibly wider. "I wrote _him_ into my Death Note, too."

The words hit her like a punch to the gut. She stumbled backwards in horror and tripped, falling to the ground.

"Gave me a good fifty years, that one did," the shinigami went on, tapping his chin in thought. "Which really isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but pickings are slim these days. You young folks are killing yourselves off faster than we shinigamis can, what with the things you get yourselves into. Honestly," he scoffed. "Used to be that we were guaranteed almost a century whenever we wrote down a young one. These days you've knocked your own lifespans down to a few decades. _You_ were supposed to have at least seventy-five years left on you, until you started keeping company with the crowd that you did. But, who am I to judge?"

Jubilee stared at the ground, silent at this new revelation. Her father could have lived for another fifty years? Slowly, a cold rage began to fill her. She had been blaming the wrong person all along. It was this shinigami who had tempted Light with power...who had caused the deaths of thousands...and who had killed her father.

As if sensing her thoughts, the shinigami smiled with satisfaction. "You're angry," he said. "That's good." He leaned down again, bending at an impossibly low angle from the waist to be eye level with her where she was sprawled on the ground. "What are you going to do about it?" he asked lowly. "Kill me?"

She lifted her eyes to him. "Did you kill my mother too?" she asked, voice trembling.

The shinigami chuckled. "Oh, please." He waved a dismissive hand. "Another shinigami got her, I'm sure. You talk like I have a personal vendetta against you, or something. Then again—" His expression became serious and he leaned closer. "I do, now."

Whatever anger Jubilee had been feeling seconds ago vanished in the wake of sudden terror as the demon began to advance on her. She scrambled backwards. A few feet behind the demon Light stood, watching her silently and with an emotionless expression, but she paid him no attention as she tried to get away.

"Seventy years may not be much in the light of eternity," the shinigami was saying, his voice a low growl as he took step after slow step towards her. "But I don't much appreciate anything being taken from me...especially not on account of a measly human such as yourself." He stopped and gave her a dry smile. "It's a bit of a low blow from the man upstairs. I'd very much like to see your time on on this planet come to a permanent end—even if you _are_ bound for _that_ place—just so you can tell Him, for me, that He doesn't play very fair."

"Get away from me," Jubilee whispered. She was vaguely aware that she was cowering and on the brink of tears.

"Well, that's not very convincing," scoffed the shinigami. "I don't know where you people get the idea that you can just tell me what to do. You humans have always been a ridiculously prideful yet pitiful bunch. Bossing each other around and playing god when you're practically nothing but ants." He stepped closer to her, and she felt the air grow even colder. "Even now, you see...you want to control Light and the circumstances of the world, just as much as he does. And you'd kill me in an instant, if you knew how to, because I stand in the way of what you want. So how are you any better than him?" Jubilee felt the light and color around her snuff out as the demon crouched down to her level and continued, "You're not. You see, the problem is that all you creatures think of yourselves as victims, when in reality your situations are really your own faults. I think you know that deep down, don't you?" Jubilee shook her head vigorously, as much to refute him as to clear the memories of Chicago night lights, colorful cocktails and strangers' beds that suddenly filled her mind. The demon reached out a clawed hand for her. "Oh yes you do," he went on. "You might tell yourself otherwise—that me and the other powers that be are the cause of all your problems, but you know what? I only ever had access to you because you left yourself wide open to me. Let me help you remember." His hand closed over her eyes.

Instantly the world went dark. Then, a memory filled her head.

 _She was nineteen years old. Her father's body had just been buried, and she knelt before the fresh grave and her mother's, alone. Rain poured down on her from a bleak, gray sky. The minister had left hours ago. There had been no one else at the funeral. She had invited no one._

" _Why?" she whispered to the ground._

 _Only the sound of the downpour answered her. The world was silent save for the dripping of rain—a heavy, sorrowful noise that seemed to match her grief._

 _Tilting her head back she suddenly screamed to the sky, a long, piercing wail that ripped her throat raw._

" _Why?" she demanded the clouds above her. "Why did you take them from me?!"_

 _Sobbing, she curled herself into a ball on the ground, and cried long and hard. The rain continued to pour down onto her, drenching her to the bone, as if the heavens were weeping along with her. But she felt no comfort from it, only coldness and a desperate sense of being utterly alone._

 _Finally, when she could cry no more, she rose shakily to her knees and crawled forward, to the sliver of space between both of her parents' graves. She lowered herself onto the cold, wet earth there, a gravestone on either side of her head. With her cheek against the muddy grass, she lifted her eyes to the sky once more, and the rain caressed her face as it washed her tears down into the ground._

" _Just take me too," she whispered, and closed her eyes._

 _Several yards away stood a tall, shadowy figure with spiky black hair and pale yellow eyes, listening to her every word though she could neither see him nor hear him. He cackled lowly to himself._

" _That can be arranged," he said with a satisfied smirk._

Jubilee gasped and broke away from the shinigami's claw. He was laughing at her as she leaned forward on the ground, struggling to catch her breath.

"So you see," he said, still leaning towards her. "I had legal access to you. _Life and death are in the power of the tongue,_ yes? You mammals are too stupid to realize that, even though it's been written down for you. Oh, but how nicely you tend to use that power to our benefit most of the time."

Jubilee barely registered his words as her heart hammered. Her eyes burned where the shinigami had touched her, and it was like the air had grown even more dense. She struggled to draw breath into her lungs and her brain seemed to fog over. Her thoughts swam, and trying to make sense of them was like an arduous trek through thick mud. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed desperately to remember some sliver of truth that would help her to think clearly.

 _Life and death are in the power of the tongue._ Jubilee opened her eyes in startled realization. This whole time the shinigami had been trying to make her feel powerless, to think that she had no control of the situation or authority over him. But he had just let slip that she did.

" _The Lord rebuke you,_ " she quoted without thinking. The words came out in barely a hoarse whisper, and for a second she thought the shinigami hadn't even heard her. He looked at her a moment, then got up and walked away from her, laughing all the way.

"Not very original, are you?" he said at last, leering at her from where he stood back beside Light. His voice sounded nonchalant, but Jubilee noted that his smile was tight.

She got slowly to her feet. "Don't come near me again," she said.

"Tch," said the demon. "Bossy, bossy." But he made no move in her direction.

"Julie—" began Light hesitantly, speaking up for the first time in five minutes.

"Shut up, Light," said Jubilee, taking deliberate steps towards him and the demon. "I mean, be quiet for a minute. I'm not finished here." Stopping before them, she looked straight up at the tall, otherworldly being. "Listen up, shinigami," she began. Her voice had lost its tremor. "I want you to take your notebooks and get out of here. I _command_ you, to leave Light and this place, in—"

"You don't want to do that," interjected the demon, throwing up a hand. The abrupt movement in Jubilee's direction startled her just enough to make her hesitate a moment, and he continued quickly, "Even if I do leave, I can guarantee you that I will be back, with _friends_...and then there will be hell to pay."

Jubilee scowled, deciding that she had had enough. She opened her mouth to continue, but the shinigami cut her off again.

"Trust me," he went on, "That's what happened to poor Judas Iscariot. And we wouldn't want dear old Light to meet the same end, now would we?"

Jubilee stopped, her brow furrowing. _Judas Iscariot?_

"Oh yes, that one was my work too," said the shinigami, taking a sweeping bow. "Thank you, thank you...I get to go down in history as the one who took out that backstabbing sod. You'd think people would thank me more! And also that they'd write down the part I played in it all, but nooo..." He scratched his chin. "Perhaps it's because they didn't know how to spell 'Ryuk' in Greek?"

"You're lying," said Jubilee.

"That they didn't know how to spell my name in Greek? That was just a guess."

"About Judas Iscariot!" she snapped. "He killed himself because of his own remorse."

"Oh, yes." The demon, Ryuk, gave a smug smile. "Yes, he most certainly did. And who do you think was responsible for that feeling of overwhelmingly crushing, absolutely inescapable guilt and shame?" He pointed cheerfully at himself. " _Moi._ I told you, I always enjoyed writing in the little details. Go ahead, marked one...take a look at me and see if I'm lying."

Reluctantly Jubilee looked to the space above Ryuk's head. The line there was straight and unbreaking, much to her dismay. A familiar shadow of fear crept back into her. _This_ shinigami had caused the death of Judas Iscariot?

"Him and the rest of those twelve imbeciles already had their personal demons cast out, you see?" continued Ryuk. "But Judas was a man who wanted more. Well, more he got! The shinigami king himself took up residence in him, and I got to be part of the entourage. What a party we had! The whole hanging himself bit was my brilliant idea though. Got myself a promotion with that one. What a way for him to go, eh?" He leaned forward ever so slightly at these last words, and she took an involuntary step back. Glancing quickly at the space over head, he looked back at her and smirked. "So, you see," he went on, "Even _if_ you could get me to go—and we're talking a big _if_ here—would you ever be able to forgive yourself when I inevitably return and wreak even more havoc than I would have before?"

Jubilee grit her teeth. The shinigami was trying to distract her by intimidating her and making her second guess herself, and it was working. Nevertheless she declared, bravely, "That won't happen."

"It won't," agreed Ryuk. "Unless, of course, I leave right now. You want to know why?" He gestured at Light. "Because this one here will want me back. And I promise you, marked one, that when he does, I will make sure that he never has another chance to change his mind. Do what you want, save the day in the end, even. But this one—" He pointed at Light once more. "Is mine, and he will go down with me." He gave her a toothy smile then. "So rebuke me all you want, human. You can't mess with another's free will. No one can." With a leer he added, "And the only One who can, won't."

Jubilee faltered then. She looked at Light, who was giving her a blank stare, then back at the demon. Was it true? If she managed to get Ryuk to leave, would that only make things worse for Light in the end? And if so, did that mean she should just give up on him? She glanced over at the boy once more. The black haze around him shifted uneasily, like he was uncertain about everything that was transpiring, but still he managed to keep a poker face that conveyed oblivious confusion. Her heart sank as she realized that this part of what the demon had said, at least, was true—Light would stop at nothing right now. Even if the case was solved and the day was saved, _he_ wouldn't be. Unless she figured something out. And with a sudden painful acuity she realized that she still wanted to...but had no idea how to. Pressing her lips together, she hung her head in silent defeat.

"There," said Ryuk, relaxing. "You have some smarts, after all." Looking over her head again, he gave a smile of lazy satisfaction at whatever it was he saw. "Face it, marked one," he went on, spreading his hands. "At the end of the day, I have the upper hand and the whole host of hell to back me up. You, on the other hand, are all alone. Your co-workers don't believe in you, your friends have abandoned you, and your family is gone." He swept a long, clawed hand dramatically over his brow and put on an expression of mock sorrow as he continued, "It has always been the fate of a marked one to be isolated and deemed delusional by the rest of the world. Cruel, isn't it?" He wiped away a fake tear. "I always thought so. But—" He leaned forward, eyes gleaming. "You don't have to accept that fate, human. You can walk away from all of this! _Give up_. Let whatever comes, come. You don't have to be a part of it anymore."

Tears streamed down Jubilee's face as she continued to hang her head, fists clenched. The shinigami was right. The whole task force thought she was crazy. Light was too far gone for her to reach. Misa wouldn't talk to her. Even L had lost hope in solving the case. And the very fact that Kira himself was standing there across from her with a demon at his side, while she stood before the two of them, small and alone, with no sight of Hellenos anywhere or sound of Dad's voice in her heart...showed that she truly was all by herself.

She looked up at the two of them. Light was still staring at her, and Ryuk still smirked at the spot above her head. No, not above—now he was looking towards her left. He glanced back at her once more, seeming satisfied to see her downcast expression, before returning his gaze to the space on her left with a smug grin. Jubilee looked to her left but saw nothing. A thought suddenly occurred to her. _Look for patterns,_ L had once told her. _That is how you do what I do._ Her eyes narrowed. What was the shinigami looking at? It hadn't just been her that he had been looking at during this conversation. There had been something—or some _one—_ else that had caught his attention.

All at once she realized something. Just because she didn't see anything, didn't mean that there was nothing there. And just because she felt alone, didn't mean that she actually was.

She wiped her eyes dry. "I am never alone," she said softly, and though she didn't quite believe the words yet, she felt her heart warm and her vision sharpen as she said them.

"Eh?" The demon cocked his head. "What was that, human?"

"I said—" She looked back up at him and repeated, this time with more conviction, "I am never alone."

Beside her a shimmer materialized, then formed into Hellenos. _**Quite right,**_ he agreed, giving her a grin. She returned it with a small smile.

Ryuk glowered. "Well, no use pretending you're not there anymore," he said sourly. "But hey, long time no see, eh?" He waved a clawed hand towards the angel. "Last time we ran into each other was in the wilderness with Elijah, wasn't it?"

Hellenos gave the shinigami a cool look but said nothing.

Ryuk rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, you didn't say much back then, either," he grumbled. "Looks like you got assigned a new cowardly human, did you? And a _marked one_ , at that! First a man who calls down fire from heaven, and now a girl who escapes death. You must be one of His favorites." He said these last words with a sneer.

Jubilee exchanged a glance between the two. "You know each other?"

 _ **He doesn't have favorites, as you well know already,**_ Hellenos answered the demon smoothly.

Ryuk cackled at that. "Doesn't He?" he returned, laughing. "Come on, now! You know as well as I do that He's had favorites since the beginning!" He pointed a long claw at Jubilee and she took another step back, closer to Hellenos. "He's favored these measly, pathetic creatures of dust since time began. Surely you remember, back in the garden, don't you? When he gave these idiots dominion over the whole earth? Look at what they've done with it, since then! And what did they do to earn all that power? That trust? Nothing! Nothing at all...which is exactly what He gave to the rest of us." He stopped grinning and gave Hellenos a calculating gaze. "Surely you can see my old man's point of view, can't you? _We_ are the ones who deserve rule over the universe. _We_ were the ones who were with Him first! And what thanks did we get for that? Nothing," he finished bitterly. He extended a clawed hand to Hellenos. "It's not too late, you know...you could still switch sides."

Hellenos ignored Ryuk's claw. His eyes remained locked on the demon's and his face stayed expressionless. _**You've been twisting the truth for so long, fallen one,**_ he said, _**That you've actually begun to believe your own lies.**_

Ryuk rolled his eyes. "Phaw," he scoffed, dropping his hand. "I didn't really expect you to accept anyway. Was worth a try though." He grinned at the angel. "How about a bet then? _Your_ human versus mine." He flicked a long finger at Jubilee once more, then another one at Light. "Her faith against _his_ hunger for power. Which do you think will win out, oh mighty bright one?"

Hellenos said nothing.

"What, you don't want to make bets with a shinigami?" Ryuk cackled. "I swear, I'm very honorable when it comes to gambling. We don't even have to set any stakes, I'd just like the satisfaction of seeing the inevitable shortcoming of humankind win out like it always does, every single time. What do you say?"

Hellenos continued to give the shinigami an aloof and silent gaze, making his answer clear. Jubilee glanced between the two again, then at Light, who looked genuinely confused now. He couldn't hear or see Hellenos. Perhaps this was her chance.

"Light," she said, stepping forward. "Listen, you heard how that shinigami talked about you just now. He obviously doesn't have your best interests in mind, and this is not going to end well for you if you keep going. Please," she pleaded, reaching out a hand towards him, "You have to listen to me, and—"

Light held up a hand, stopping her. "Julie," he began quietly. "You need help."

Jubilee stopped and gaped at him for a moment. "What?"

He took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You're my friend, Julie, so I don't want to hurt your feelings—but, you need professional help."

She stared at him, unable to respond as the line over his head broke and showered them both with charcoal dust.

He continued, earnestly, "I know a place in Aoyama. Good place, good doctors. The head psychiatrist is friends with my dad. I could have him to talk to him for you, get you in for a low cost, maybe even on our insurance plan."

"Light," said Jubilee softly, finding her voice at last. "Please stop playing this game with me."

Light's eyes hardened. "I could say the same to you, Julie." He released her and stepped back. "Honestly, I'm getting tired of this. I've been nice to you, I've given you a chance to let up, but you won't back off. I don't know if your problem is that you're genuinely seeing and hearing things in your head, or that you're just a pathological liar who insists on making trouble for me and my family, but either way...there's a limit." His expression became cold then. "Keep this up, and I can and _will_ take legal action against you." At these last words the line over his head stayed straight, emphasizing that his threat was real. "For your own sake, Julie, you need to get help, even if you can't see it. And if you can't—or won't—help yourself...then, as your friend, I have to do something about it. For your own good." He turned to go. "Think about what I've said. I've got to go find Misa now. If you've been talking like this around her too, it's no wonder she wants to get away from you." With that he walked away.

Ryuk gave both her and Hellenos a gleeful grin before turning to trail after the boy, leaving the two of them alone.

She watched the boy and the demon go, her heart feeling shattered with grief. As she stared after Light, the black haze writhing around him, a memory of the former yellow haze suddenly displaced it in her mind's eye. The yellow lingered there in her perception for a second, like an echo, or perhaps some distant, faraway hope, before fading again. Jubilee felt her heart ache. Two things were now of the utmost importance to her. One was how to save L from Light. The other was how to save Light from himself.

But both tasks seemed impossible.

"Hellenos," she said after a long moment. "I—I'm glad you're here—and that I can see you again." Her fists clenched and her voice hitched as she continued, "I know I should—should look at the silver linings, and...and keep having faith, but—" She suddenly buried her face into her hands. "But right now, I just need a minute," she whispered between her fingers, then dropped to her knees and began to cry.

Hellenos said nothing, but lay a comforting hand on her shoulder as she wept and wept.

* * *

Several yards away from headquarters, Light ducked behind a tree and pulled out his cell phone, dialing a number. Ryuk hovered in the shadows beside him. Light shot him a glare as he held the phone up to his ear.

"You and I have some things to talk about," he said darkly. "But first—"

On the other end of the line, Misa picked up. " _Light?_ "

"Misa," began Light, just barely disguising the irk in his voice. "What was all that about? Where did you go?"

" _I—I'm sorry, Light, I went back home. My head really hurt and—"_

Light heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, did you get Julie's name at least? I've been with her for the last ten minutes. You didn't write it down yet?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. " _Light, I—I couldn't see her name._ "

Light pinched his nose in irritation. He knew there must have been something. Ideally he would have drawn out Julie's death if he was the one writing her name; maybe he would have had her check into a psych ward for a few weeks before offing herself. But he had had no time to discuss such ideas with Misa, and she was the impulsive kind. If she had been able to see the other girl's real name, then Julie should have dropped dead in front of him during the last ten minutes. He'd only tolerated her ranting and raving for that long because it would have looked good for her to die in front of him on the surveillance camera, further clearing him from being Kira.

"What do you mean, you couldn't see her name?" he said between grit teeth. "What _did_ you see?"

Another pause transpired before Misa stuttered, " _It was like...like a crest, of some kind, or—or—a seal! Yeah, it was like a seal, like the kind that old kings in the movies use on letters, you know? Except more...complicated. And bright. It was so bright, Light, I couldn't look at it...I couldn't see a name or lifespan anywhere around it, just this blinding seal of light. My head's been killing me ever since I saw it, and it's only now starting to get better._ "

"I see." Light turned to look at the shinigami next to him, who was grinning. "Fine. Get some rest. I'll call you later." He hung up amid Misa's protests and pocketed his phone. "You knew about this, didn't you?" he asked the shinigami calmly.

Ryuk's only response was a cackle.

"That's why you called her a marked one," Light continued, not bothering to mask his annoyance. "Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?"

"It was more fun this way," chuckled Ryuk.

Light gave him a venomous glare. "Alright, you've had your fun. Now explain to me what all this means."

"Oo, you know, you look scarier than me when you look like that," said Ryuk. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you." He seated himself cross-legged on the ground, then added with a grin, "But I'd like some apples in return, please."

Light crossed his arms. "Fine."

"So," began Ryuk, opening up his arms in dramatic fashion, "Every once in a blue moon, a human dies—but then comes back. Near death experiences, I think you people call them? Or after death experiences, technically. Anyway, the ones who catch a glimpse of heaven, but then come back to earth, get marked or 'sealed' by the _Big Guy_." He pointed a claw upwards at the last two words. "And after that, once they come back to life, they are off limits to shinigami. None of us can see their names or their lifespans anymore. Oh, and furthermore, if they initially died because a shinigami wrote their name into a Death Note, then the years that the shinigami would have gained are instead docked off of that shinigami's lifespan. It's not very fair if you ask me, but I'm not the one making the rules here."

"So you're saying that her name can't be written into a Death Note anymore?" asked Light.

"Well, I didn't say that," said Ryuk. "Just that _I'm_ not allowed to write her name into a Death Note anymore."

Light uncrossed his arms and stood straighter. "But a human can?"

"Well, maybe!" laughed Ryuk. "That's never been a possibility before." He smirked at Light. "But how can he, if he can't find out her name?"

Light's eyes narrowed. "You know her name. You wrote it into your Death Note before she became off limits. And you said that her father's last name was Jenkins. I'm assuming that that's her last name, too."

"Wouldn't you like to know!" laughed the shinigami. "Bet that little tidbit got you all kinds of excited, didn't it?"

Light gave him a look. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me what her first name is, are you?"

Ryuk chortled. "What would be the fun in that? I've got a grudge against her, sure, but that doesn't mean I'm here to just make your life easier. I live a lot longer than you ants, and I can take my time in getting my revenge."

Light sighed and turned away from the demon. This made a slight hassle of things, but in the end it didn't change anything. Killing L was still the priority. Julie was a minor annoyance, but he could get her out of the way with or without the Death Note. After all, no one believed her anyway—except perhaps L. Which was why getting rid of him first was more important.

"Hey, Ryuk," said Light.

"Eh?"

"I don't have any plans on giving up the Death Note." He turned to face the demon again. "So you don't have to worry about carrying out all those threats against me that you were making to Julie." He smiled confidently and continued, "And I can promise you, Ryuk—you will have far more fun this way, if I get my way in the end."

Ryuk gave a long laugh at that. "Oh," he said, with a gleam in his yellow eyes, "I'm counting on it."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Ta-da! Here it is, at long last! So sorry for being several days behind the goal date, though I know you all are so graciously patient with me. Thank you, thank you, for the reminders and all the encouragement that you guys give. The last two days I sat my butt in a chair and determined to get this whole writing consistently thing figured out—as of today I'm utilizing a strategy called batching, as well as the write-a-crappy-draft-without-stopping-and-thinking-too-much tactic, and the write-at-ninety-percent-effort-instead-of-one-hundred-percent-perfection tactic. And what do you know, the chapter's done! If anyone has figured out any other miraculous productivity lifehacks, please feel free to share._

 **A little peek into my writing process and journey** _...I realized that I was getting too bogged down in all the little details and ideas that I wanted to include, and as a result I was getting discouraged at how slowly things were progressing (at least in my mind). Originally, this was what had been fun for me about utilizing fanfiction as my "drafting medium." One day I'll convert this into an original story, with all the plot tightening and condensing that that will require—but for now, this community is where I can share every fun idea and plot bunny, without worrying (too much) about how long it will take or how much sense it might or might not make (the anime universe comes with a whole 'nother level of suspension of disbelief). You guys get to read the "extra features" that will eventually get deleted!_

 _Still though, at a certain point it started to slow me down and make me feel stuck. This fic has been a great catalyst in learning to adapt in the face of various writing (and sometimes life!) hurdles, and you guys have been an amazing and helpful part of that experience—the cheering crowd that has made me determined to discover how to jump each of those hurdles. So many, many thanks. With the utilization of my new arsenal of writing strategies, **I'm aiming to have the next chapter out by—*drumroll*—next weekend!** Yes, that's right, less than a week and a half from now. I'm upping the ante. Pray for me. _

**P.S.** _Have you guys seen the tumblr post where_ **L rates cake emojis** _? It's rather hilarious, and was part of my inspiration/procrastination/break period that got me in the groove during the writing process today. Go look at it please, if you haven't already. You can see it reblogged at the tumblr handle '_ **thechristianfanfictionfan** _,' pretty high up on the page._

 **P.P.S.** _There's so much more I'd like to say to each of you guys... **each of you are living, breathing stories** that I sometimes get to catch a glimpse of through reviews or PMs, and I'm so moved and inspired by what's going on in your lives and how it connects with both the story of my own life, and the one that I'm writing here. But more on that, in future author notes. Much love to you all._


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Rem stood alone in a shadowy corner of the shinigami realm. In the distance, the sound of screaming sobs echoed from a deeper part of the realm. Rem ignored the noise, instead contemplating the recent events on earth. In the last couple days, criminals had begun dying again—Misa was back at work as the second Kira, using her Death Note according to Light's orders. Rem's clawed fingers balled into a fist at the thought the boy.

He was using Misa. He had been using all of them all along.

She thought back to the last conversation she had heard while on the earthly dimension, between Light and the other man, the pale one who they called detective.

" _For the hundredth time, Ryuzaki, Misa has nothing to do with the deaths," said Light, sounding exasperated._

 _L arched an eyebrow at him from where he sat crouched in his chair. "The killings started up again almost immediately after she was released. Are we supposed to be believe that that is just coincidence?"_

 _Matsuda piped up. "But Ryuzaki, you know what the rules of the notebook said! Misa can't be the first OR second Kira, or else she would have died during confinement!"_

 _L slid a thumb between his lips and chewed on it. "Yes, so it would seem," he murmured around the digit. Then he swiveled around to face Rem, who was standing at the back of the room._

" _I have a question, shinigami," he said._

 _Rem lifted her eyes to him in an impassive gaze._

" _Could one kill by writing names onto paper torn from a Death Note?" asked the detective._

 _Rem gave him a long, silent look. Though her face betrayed no emotion, inside of her fear, anger and worry churned. How long was Light going to let this go on for? He had promised that Misa would be safe, but she was in more danger now than ever of being suspected. And, even worse, her lifespan had been halved yet again—the last Rem had seen the girl over surveillance, the space above her head had shown a quarter of the time left to live than when Rem had first met her._

" _That I wouldn't know," she said at last. "I've never used the notebook that way."_

 _It wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't a complete truth either. To be more accurate, it was both a truth and a lie...she had indeed never used the notebook in such a way, but she knew perfectly well that both Light and Misa had._

 _A few feet next to the men, the girl—the marked one—narrowed her eyes at Rem. There was a shrewd and knowing look on her face. No doubt she could tell that Rem was hiding something._

 _Light was giving L a look. "What are you thinking?" he asked the detective._

 _L swiveled back to his computer, still chewing on his thumb. "About a hundred things, Light, most of which would be an inefficient use of time to relay. However, you should know that I am planning on testing the thirteen-day rule which was outlined in the notebook."_

 _Light's brows furrowed. "And how are you going to do that?"_

" _Simple." L removed his thumb from his mouth. "I will have a criminal from death row write the name of another criminal from death row into the notebook. After thirteen days, during which time both of them will be under maximum security and surveillance as usual...we shall see whether or not he dies." He delicately picked a strawberry off the slice of cake sitting beside him and held it aloft between thumb and forefinger. "It is all already arranged," he finished, popping the fruit into his mouth._

 _Panic filled Rem then. At this rate, Misa would surely be caught and convicted! What was Light thinking, having the girl use the notebook so blatantly and without reserve? She cast angry eyes over at the sandy-haired boy, willing him to take note of her displeasure._

 _He was already looking at her. For a split second, as he locked eyes with her, the expression on his face switched from one of exasperated worry into a smug smirk. In a flash it was over and he had turned back to the detective. But in that moment, Rem suddenly knew._

 _Light Yagami had planned this all along. He had planned to put Misa in danger of suspicion again...because he knew what Rem was willing to do in order to save her._

 _Rem closed her eyes, suddenly knowing what had to happen._

 _And what would happen to her, as a result._

Back in the shinigami realm, Rem gazed sadly at her surroundings—at the place she had, by default, considered home. But had it ever been home, really? It wasn't until she had found Misa, the girl who smiled at her like she was a trusted friend instead of an ugly monster, that she had ever felt at home. No, this place wasn't home—it was hell. Literally.

Even so, it made her uneasy to think that she would never lay eyes on it ever again. Or anything, or anyone, for that matter. Had Gelus, the shinigami who first saved Misa's life, felt this way before the end?

Briefly she considered going to the shinigami king, to perhaps inquire after some kind of reprieve or favor from him. But she knew that it would be a fruitless endeavor.

Ryuk was right. Love was for humans. It had no place here.

* * *

It was raining outside. Jubilee could hear the pitter-patter of raindrops against the building, sloshing against the big glass windows like angry tears. It was Saturday—a slow day, for most of the task force members had taken the day off and returned home. Today, only Light and Soichiro had stayed behind. Jubilee herself had slept in, coming downstairs to the main room around noon. L, however, was nowhere to be seen when she arrived.

She opened her mouth to ask where he was, then closed it again, feeling loathe to ask Kira himself where his arch nemesis was. So instead she grabbed a donut from the refreshment cart, poured herself a cup of coffee, and set off to find him on her own. She poked her head into the kitchenette, wandered around the big room for a bit, and then checked the stairwell.

Nothing.

A sense of unease filled her. She shook it off and glanced towards Hellenos, who was beside her. During the last few days it had taken a bit of effort to see him, but as long as she took the initiative to remember and look for his presence, he had been visible.

"Where is he?" she asked under her breath. There was no need to specify who.

Hellenos lifted a perfect eyebrow. _**What am I, your personal tracking device?**_

Jubilee huffed to herself. Honestly, what good were angels anyway?

 _ **I heard that.**_

She ignored him and skipped back up the short flight of stairs to the elevator landing. Perhaps the detective was simply catching up on sleep, for once. Still, she couldn't completely shake her worry. She thought of the last time she had seen him, shrouded by a hopeless gray shadow. It was the sort of shade she had only ever seen in two types of people—those who knew they were close to death, or those who wanted to be. She jabbed impatiently at the elevator buttons.

Hellenos hovered beside her. _**Where will you look?**_

"Wherever I have to, until I find him."

The angel smiled. _**Like Father, like daughter,**_ he said. _**How far you have come.**_

Jubilee flushed slightly at the sound of pride in her guardian angel's voice, "Yeah, well, save it for when I actually find him," she muttered as the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, the angel following. "If I end up having to scour the entire building for him and he's not either dead or about to kill himself, I'll be pretty pissed. And that's probably not very Dad-like."

Half an hour later Jubilee decided that she had spoken accurately, for she had run down every floor of headquarters without coming across L, and her patience was starting to run thin. Hellenos had become just a dim glimmer beside her.

"If he's just sleeping, I swear—" she growled, clenching her fist. Where _did_ he sleep anyway, when he slept?

She had reached the top floor where her room and Watari's office were. With a groan she realized that she should have just come to Watari from the start. He had surveillance of the entire building, after all. What's more, where Watari was was where L was most likely to be in the first place. She had been so worried about L's absence that she hadn't stopped to think logically. So much for getting better at deductive reasoning.

Grumpily, she marched up to Watari's door and was about to knock, when something made her stop. A distant warmth somewhere above her head, like the sun behind a cloud, made the top of her scalp tingle. She looked up and gasped.

Somehow, she could see straight through the ceiling and beyond it, to where swirls of gentle, colorful light emanated from a glowing ember she recognized to be a human soul. A soul that she had come to know well.

L was on the roof.

Whirling around, she ran for the stairwell and then took the steps two at a time.

When she finally burst through the exit and out onto the roof, the downpour enveloped her immediately, drenching her hair and her clothes. Through the veil of rain there stood a small, hunched figure near the edge of the cement rooftop, staring off into the horizon. He didn't turn around as the door slammed closed behind her.

Jubilee's heart beat hard as she took in the sight of L before her. Was he thinking of jumping? No, the gray haze around him exuded bright light and color, trailing around his slouched form like dancing ribbons. Surely, if he was contemplating suicide, she would only see a dark grayness around him. Even so, the colors around him held a silvery, faded quality, as though they were tinged with a sad nostalgia.

She approached him slowly. As she got closer, she saw that he was soaked to the skin—his usual white shirt stuck to his body and was nearly translucent from the rain, and his dark black hair was matted and slicked down to the nape of his neck. How long had he been standing out here?

He finally turned his head to her when she reached him.

"Good afternoon," he said simply.

"Hi," she said softly.

Every prior intention she had had of yelling at him for making her worry melted away as she took in the look in his eyes. It was a look of peace mixed with sadness—the look of a man resigned to meet his end.

He turned to look back towards the sky. "Can you hear it?" he asked, his voice quiet.

She gazed at him blankly. "Hear what?"

He said nothing for a beat. Then, as though disappointed, he murmured, "No, I suppose not."

She looked at him a moment longer, then over at Hellenos in helpless confusion. The angel stood a couple feet away from them and, unsurprisingly, looked completely unaffected by the rain. _**Well?**_ he said, indicating the direction L was looking in with a tilt of his head. _**Can you or can't you hear it?**_

Still unsure what exactly she was supposed to hear, Jubilee strained to listen. She could detect nothing but the loud hiss of falling rain. But then, faintly, she thought she could hear...something.

"What is that?" she asked, brow furrowed as she stepped forward, closer to L.

From her left Hellenos reached out and cupped a warm hand to her ear. At the same time she felt a warmth upon her right ear as well. The unexpected sensation would have startled her, except that her attention was suddenly riveted by a loud, resonant chiming. She gave a start and Hellenos withdrew his hand

"I—I hear them," she said in awe.

L had turned back to her, gray eyes wide as he gazed at her. "Hear what?"

She faced him, a look of wonder on her face. "The bells."

He looked at her silently for a long moment. Then, suddenly, he smiled. The expression was so unexpected, and so new to Jubilee, that it nearly knocked her off her feet. Around him the colors softened and became warm, tendrils of them reaching out to touch her cheek like a gentle friend.

"Yes," he said. "Of course you do."

She stared at him, mesmerized. In that instant, a vision took shape within her mind's eye. She saw a little boy, with wild black hair and hunched shoulders, holding tightly to a white-haired man's hand as they stood together before a set of tall black gates. The air around the two was foggy and cold, and the sound of chiming church bells echoed in the distance. The loud noise startled the boy for an instant, making his shoulders hunch even more, before he looked up at the bespectacled man holding his hand. The old man gave him a reassuring smile, and the boy's shoulders slowly relaxed once more. Then, before them, the gates opened.

The vision faded, and L's face came back into focus before Jubilee's eyes. He was still smiling at her, but now a smirk tugged at his lips.

"It seems you aren't the only one who hears things," he said.

Jubilee let out a breathless laugh, even though she felt tears threaten to spill from her eyes for reasons she couldn't quite fathom. Perhaps it was because, somehow, the vision reminded her of the moments before her fatal car crash—the seconds before impact when all she could think of was her father. Perhaps, somewhere deep down, she knew that these were the sorts of memories that filled a man's mind as he readied himself for the end—memories that were of the most pivotal points in his life, when everything that got him to where he was now had first begun.

But Jubilee didn't let herself fully process these thoughts. She didn't vocalize to him her worry over him, or her fear of his fate, because she saw in that moment that he needed this—this final moment of quiet reflection before whatever happened next came crashing in. And she couldn't bring herself to interrupt it. But, more than that, she couldn't bring herself to accept that that was what was really happening.

So, instead of asking him what they should do now, or telling him not to give up hope and to keep trying, she said nothing. All she could do was stand by him, and give him her presence.

"Is it your late father who you talk to?" he asked suddenly.

She blinked. "What?"

"I've heard you talking to him, sometimes," he said, eyeing her with an unreadable look. The rain ran down his forehead and into his eyes but he didn't blink. "Not your guardian angel; I can tell when you are talking to him. You become more matter-of-fact and, oftentimes, angry. But I've heard you address someone else. You call him 'dad.'"

"Ah." Jubilee cleared her throat uncomfortably. "No...it's not my late father." She didn't expound.

"I see," said L after a short pause. "So, then..." He leaned back a bit and glanced skywards. "Big 'Dad.'"

She hesitated awkwardly, then couldn't help another little laugh. "Yes," she agreed. "Big Dad."

L _hmm_ ed to himself and turned to gaze out at the horizon once more. A long stretch of silence unfolded between them. She watched him as he looked into the distance and, for once, she felt completely at ease beside the detective. The faint, ethereal chime of bells continued to sound through the air, and for the time being, Jubilee let herself completely forget about Kira, about the case, and about shinigamis. She simply stood beside L, watching the rain and listening to the sound of bells with him.

"You know," L spoke up again at long last. "There is a part of that book that is particularly striking to me."

Jubilee was about to ask what book he was talking about, when the memory of Watari handing his bible to L, so many months ago, wisped through her mind.

"It is when Christ washes the feet of his disciples," he continued, still watching the horizon. "Even though, at that point, he already knew that one of them would betray him."

"Judas," said Jubilee softly.

"Yes," said L. "Judas Iscariot. He knew that this man, who was once his friend, would betray him to his enemies and, ultimately, to his death. Yet he did something that no one in his right mind would have been willing to do during that day and age. Do you know—" He turned to her suddenly, "Just how unseemly human feet were back then, Miss Amachi?"

Jubilee was taken aback by the sudden transition in subject. "Um—no?"

"They were absolutely disgusting," L deadpanned with emphasis. "There were no paved streets back then. Men traveled for miles and miles on dusty, dirt-filled roads, on foot, wearing sandals, to get to where they needed to go." He leaned in close, eyes owlish and unblinking. "Can you imagine the callouses, the gnarled heels, the mud-caked toenails?"

Jubilee made a face and leaned away from him. "Yeah, if you keep talking like that, but I'd really rather not."

"Miss Amachi," L went on, ignoring her disgust, "To wash another's feet back then was servant's work, reserved for the lowliest of the low. To wash the feet of eleven other men, who are supposed to be your disciples no less, would be utterly humiliating. But, for one of them to be a traitor who is planning on betraying you to your death—" He leaned back and gazed off into the distance again. "That would be unthinkable."

Jubilee thought about his words for a moment. There was a time when such level of insight into scripture, from him, would have been irritating to her. But that resentment was no longer there.

"Well," she said, smiling wryly. "Seems to me like he was in the business of doing the unthinkable...what with walking on water and raising people from the dead and all that."

"So it would seem," said L. He gave her a sidelong glance. "And it seems he put you into that business as well."

"What do you mean?" She laughed. "I haven't walked on water _or_ raised anyone from the dead."

"And yet you are often doing the unthinkable."

She softened. "So are you."

He looked away again. "I've only ever done what was logical, given the abilities that I have. But," He lowered his head. "Logic, and my abilities, have a limit."

Her heart ached at this but, still in denial of the reason behind his somberness, she joked, "Never thought I'd hear you admit that."

"Nor did I," he said. "But this case has shown me first hand that there are things beyond this world that test my limits."

"Tell me about it," she grumbled. "You know, I used to hate being here—I hated working on the case, and I hated you."

"And now?"

It was her turn to look away. She faced the horizon and stared into the rain. "You know how I feel now."

There was short pause. Then L, still not looking at her, asked quietly, "What changed?"

Jubilee hesitated, a little shocked at his forwardness. This was definitely the last thing she wanted to do—talk about her feelings with this man, no matter how indirectly or roundabout they were being about it. But she heard the quiet earnestness in his voice, felt the desperate tug of colors swirling around him...and as the rain poured down upon them like a soothing balm that healed old wounds, she suddenly found that—in what she knew he thought were his last moments—she couldn't deny him his need to know just why and how someone could actually love him.

"My perspective, I guess," she muttered, staring at the cement beneath her feet. "I finally learned to see things through a lens of grace." _Took me twenty-three years though,_ she thought to herself _,_ before continuing, "And when I did...it opened my eyes to the actual beauty and goodness that are in the things—" She stopped and took a deep breath, her cheeks flushing slightly, before clarifying, "The _people_ , and circumstances around me—that I once failed to see." Clearing her throat awkwardly, she hurriedly added, "I guess that's how Christ managed to wash the dirty feet of a man who would betray him."

L _hmm_ ed again thoughtfully, then said, "Watari has long tried to teach me the same concept. I admit though, that grace is not often my strong suit. Perhaps because justice is instead."

She remembered something Hellenos had once said to her: _**There is compassion and mercy, but there is also truth and justice...Both sides are of the Father.**_ Glancing briefly at the angel, she said aloud, "Grace and justice may seem paradoxical, but they can, in fact, coexist."

"Can they?"

"You would know." She looked sidelong at him. "You're supposedly the epitome of justice, yet you're the one who demonstrated grace to me in the first place."

He turned his head to return her glance, lifting a cautious eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"You believed in me when I didn't deserve it, countless times. And you trusted me to work on the case with you, even though I hated you and treated you unkindly at the time."

L turned away again with what almost sounded like a sigh. "That was simply the most logical move to make," he said. "Just because _you_ didn't believe in yourself, Miss Amachi, didn't mean that you weren't worth believing in. Your abilities are unparalleled even if you can't see it. To entrust you with working on the case was what best benefitted the investigation. After all, that's essentially the reason Light was hired on to the case as well." His voice took on a bitter tone as he added, "And I'm sure that you are able to discern just how much he does or does not hate me. So," He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked to the sky with an air of nonchalance. "I'm sorry to say, that the qualities you have kindly attributed to me are no measure of my actual character."

Jubilee suddenly turned on him with such ferocity that she surprised herself. "This is exactly what I mean!" she cried. "Pot, meet kettle. You're giving me a whole bunch of credit, _again_ , and yet you can't even see the good in yourself?"

L sidestepped away from her a bit, eyeing her warily. "I never said that. I'm quite aware of my superior intelligence and deductive reasoning skills."

"Yeah, yeah, you and I both know you're a genius," snapped Jubilee. "That's not what I mean. I mean, you think that that's _all_ that you are. You treat yourself like you're a computer—a super computer, I'll give you that—but it's like you can't see the fact that you're actually a person, and a good one at that. You claim that you only do things to benefit yourself and the cases you work on, but that's not totally true. You could have used me solely to benefit yourself and the case, without showing me any kindness or respect, or helping me to overcome my fears the way you have."

"Watari once informed me that showing others kindness and respect was nothing to be applauded, but the very basics of humanity," replied L without missing a beat. "As for the rest—" He gave her a level look, his body still turned away from her. "How do you know that I wasn't simply manipulating you?"

Jubilee paused at that. _How_ _do_ _I know?_ she thought. She glanced at the wavering line over his head.

"You don't know it yourself, do you?" she murmured with sudden realization. He said nothing, which answered the question for her. She crossed her arms then. "Has anyone ever told you," she began, a small smile tugging at her lips, "That you don't give yourself enough credit?"

He stared at her for a moment. Then his lips quirked upwards ever so slightly. "No, actually. Not even once. Usually everyone believes that I think I'm better than them."

She laughed at that. "Well, there's a first time for everything." Giving him a grin, she added, "You've got to see yourself through a lens of grace too, you know."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Pot meet kettle, indeed."

She huffed, dropping her arms. "Alright, I'll give myself some credit. But you've got to do the same." She put a hand on her hip and took a deep breath. "Listen...I'm only going to say this once, so please take it to heart and don't make me have to repeat it, because it's probably going to sound cheesy and make both of us uncomfortable." Willing herself to keep his gaze, she continued, "You are a good guy. But not because you're good at detective work and solving cases. Your intelligence isn't what defines you; you aren't solely your brain. You also—well, you also have a heart, despite your efforts to prove the contrary, which I once almost fell for. And it's—it's your heart, that I see...and that I admire." She swallowed nervously and went on, "It totally redefines how I see you, because it makes me see you for who you actually are—not what I or the rest of the world had assumed you are. And what I see...what I see is...someone, absolutely worth—" _Loving,_ she thought, but aloud said, "Seeing and believing the best in, always. _That_ is what defines you, L."

He stilled at her final words. The colors around him brightened, softened, and then reached out for her. Slowly, he turned to face her fully. "Say that again, please."

"What?!" Jubilee gave him a bewildered and irritated look. "Did I not just say—"

"Not the whole thing," he clarified, cutting her off. "Just the last part. The last letter."

She cocked her head. Suddenly understanding, she softened. "...L?"

He looked at her for a long beat, and then once again he smiled. The colors around him enveloped her, warming her skin with their touch.

"When one has been living under the shadow of different masks and aliases for so long," he began, still smiling at her, "It is pleasant, at long last, to be called by one's original name once more. And not as a title, or as a job position with its many expectations, but simply...as a name."

Jubilee gazed back at him, lost in the mesmerizing radiance of color surrounding her, in the soft warmth that lit up his eyes. That is, until he said, "Wouldn't you say so...Jubilee Jenkins?"

It took Jubilee a second to register exactly what he had said. When she did, her eyes widened and she took an involuntary step backwards in shock.

"Wh—what?" she sputtered.

He cocked his head at her, seemingly unperturbed."Well," he quipped, "Perhaps it was more pleasant for me than it was for you."

She stared at him, mouth open. Her heart pounded in her ears like a jackhammer. _What—how?!_ How had she never realized that he knew her true name, every time he had called her by her alias? Was it because she had gotten so used to him having various motives, that she had never been able to discern anything out of the ordinary in the wavering line over his head when he said her name? Her _fake_ name? She suddenly felt faint. L knew her _real name._ He knew who she really was.

Behind her, through the hazy fog of her racing thoughts, she distantly but distinctly heard Hellenos give a long whistle. _**Didn't see that one coming,**_ he said.

 _You didn't know that he knew?_ she thought.

 _ **Oh, I knew. I just didn't know that he was going to drop it on you like he did.**_

 _What?!_ she wanted to scream.

Colors still radiated from L and caressed Jubilee's skin with a comforting gentleness. They washed up against her like gentle waves of bright blue and deep purple tinged with gold. Slowly, inexplicably, her rapid heartbeat began to settle and her breathing returned to normal. It was like her body understood the situation before her brain did. She continued to stare at L, who only gazed at her with an amused, curious look. For once, his expression was completely open, with nothing hidden. In it she saw light, warmth and welcome. Finally, she realized that she had nothing to be afraid of.

She let out a long exhale as a sense of calm came over her. As it did, words from a faint memory, a vision that had been drifting somewhere deep in her subconscious, floated to the forefront of her mind. Slowly, she smiled back at him.

"No, you're right," she said. "It is pleasant, isn't it...L Lawliet?"

She pronounced the name softly, hesitating at the lilt of each unfamiliar syllable. It was L's eyes that widened now, but he didn't step away from her, nor did the colors shrink back. He took her in for a long moment, gray eyes large and wondering.

Finally he murmured, "Nothing ever gets past you, does it?" Then, slowly, he returned her smile. "It's pronounced ' _low-light'_ actually."

Her smile widened. Between them, blues and purples and golds danced, and for once the lack of any pink did not bother her even a little bit. She basked in the warmth of light and color all around them. Feeling almost giddy, she stuck out her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lawliet," she said, pronouncing the name correctly this time.

He looked at her, then down at her hand, then back up at her. Reaching out, he clasped her hand with his own.

"Likewise, Miss Jenkins," he returned, giving her a firm handshake.

She laughed. The sound shook off the last vestiges of anxiety in her, like dry scales falling away. L was right...to be known, without any masks or need to hide, was unimaginably freeing.

"How long have you known?" she asked him.

"From the beginning," he replied. "You didn't really think I'd overlook the fact that there were no records in Japan bearing the name 'Julie Amachi,' without looking into it, did you? From there, it was child's play. Elementary, really." He gave her an appraising look. "Well, middle-school, perhaps. You are rather unique."

She couldn't help but grin like an idiot at that. The combination of intoxicating colors along with the euphoric sense of freedom she felt was like a drug. That, and the fact that he was still holding on to her hand, made everything in her vision seem even more vivid and new.

Then the clarity lessened a fraction as a thought occurred to her. "So then, you know..." _What I've done?_ was what she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to finish.

He looked at her silently a moment, and she could see right away that she didn't have to. He knew. Everything.

Her smile dropped and she bit her lip. Of course he knew. He was a genius. From the moment he unearthed the discovery that Jubilee Jenkins had disappeared from America without a trace, he would undoubtedly have made it his business to know why. And she hadn't exactly been the most subtle of thieves.

She hung her head. It all made sense now. _This_ was why he could never see her as more than a friend. Because not only was she a former criminal...she was also damaged goods.

L's cool fingers seemed to squeezed her hand just then, but it was so slight that she could have imagined it.

"Miss Jenkins," he said.

She looked up.

"I once told you, that whether or not I know the specifics of your history is irrelevant. The fact remains, that your past does not define you, and that you are not what you have done. I know that perfectly well. Do you?" She said nothing. He went on, "Everything I have ever said to you about yourself is still true."

She must have looked doubtful, because he smirked slightly and added, "Didn't you tell me, that 'you've got to see yourself through a lens of grace too?'"

She snorted then, but it was mostly to mask the well of emotion inside of her. "Didn't _you_ tell me that grace is not your strong suit?" she shot back.

He shrugged. "It isn't."

"Then what is all this?"

He gave her a look of amusement and warmth. "This is simply me stating the truth."

She huffed in exasperation, though her heart fluttered with a mixture of gratitude and relief, along with something else. Giving his hand a light squeeze, she said, "Well...so was I."

He returned her gaze with a long, thoughtful look. It seemed like he was about to say something else, when the door behind them creaked open. As one they turned to look, their hands still locked in a handshake.

It was Light, standing in the shelter of the stairwell and holding the door open.

"Guys?" he said, squinting at them through the rain. His eyes flicked briefly over their held hands, then back up to them. "Uh...what are you doing?"

* * *

 **A/N: I did it! I made the timeline goal! *throws confetti***

 **Guys. Can we just talk for a moment about how L dropped that bit of news on Jubilee, that he knows her name? I'm embarrassed to admit that I had this absurd fangirl moment immediately after I wrote that line, where I just stopped everything for a second and was like EHRMAHGAWWW HE KNOOOOWS! As if I hadn't been planning that for the last year. Bahaha. **

**Congratulations to _Big Fan_ and to all of those who have completed their finals! *throws more confetti* Also, thank you so much to _Heather_ (P.S. Aaahhh you read my _Living Water_ story too? Thank you, thank you, and I'm so honored that you use it for inspiration) and others who shared some of their creative writing tips. Finally, I can't emphasize enough how awesome all of you are; sometimes when I'm writing I just brim over with giddy happiness because I remember that I have the best readers in the world and what a lucky girl I am.**

 **Fun tidbits concerning the chapter before this one...virtual cookies to anyone who happened to catch the subtle shoutout to Oswald Chambers (the late evangelist and devotional writer). And cake for those who caught the reference to Matthew 12:45 (about spirits that are cast out returning with seven more to possess their former inhabitants)...buuut you'll probably have to split it with L. And don't even think about the strawberry on top.**

 **I'm sure I've generated even more hatred for Light now over his untimely interruption of the moment between our favorite detective and supernatural specialist (cue booing and throwing of tomatoes), but don't be too mad at him. His canon entrance has to happen in order to get this show on the road, am I right? Originally I wanted to continue the scene further, but it was already getting too long, and if it had gone the way I planned then it would have ended at the moment RIGHT before L's canon you-know-what (cue gasps and wringing of hands)...So, maybe it's better and less cliffhanger-y this way.**

 **Goal for the next chapter is 1-2 weeks from now, just to give myself some breathing room. As always, I love hearing from you guys and hope you are all doing well and happy!**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"What are you doing?" asked Light, his eyebrow raised at the two of them.

Jubilee gaped at him for a moment, still caught in a daze over everything that had just transpired between her and L. It was the latter extricating his hand from hers that brought her back to her senses. She glanced nervously at the detective, unsure of how to respond to the other boy's entrance.

The colors around L had rescinded abruptly back into a cloud of gray. He gave Light a quizzical look, then held his hand up to his ear and leaned towards him as if to say, _Come again?_

Light cupped his hands around his mouth. "I said," he called through the rain, more loudly this time, "What are you guys doing out there, standing in the rain by yourselves?"

L made a show of furrowing his brow, then shook his head before cupping his hand to his ear again. Over his head, the line that had been wobbling throughout this entire exchange snapped in two. Jubilee cast the broken pieces a suspicious look.

"You can hear him perfectly, can't you," she stated. It wasn't a question.

"Of course," replied the detective without missing a beat. A slight hint of light winked through the gray around him. "But he doesn't need to know that."

Jubilee couldn't help but smirk at this. In front of them Light, with a sigh, had ventured out into the downpour. He held one hand up over his head, which did little to nothing in shielding him from the deluge. By the time he reached them, he was as soaked as they were.

"What are you doing, Ryuzaki?" he asked tiredly when he stood before them. The black haze rolled off of him in irritable wisps.

"Oh, nothing worth mentioning," said L, turning away to face the distance again. "It's just that I hear the bells."

Light looked confused. "...The bells?" he repeated.

"Yes. They have been exceptionally loud today."

Light gave L a dubious look. He stared out towards the distance, brow furrowed, then back at L. The detective ignored him. Finally Light turned to Jubilee. She returned his questioning gaze with a calm look.

"What?" she said coolly. "You don't hear them?"

Light arched an eyebrow high. Beside Jubilee, she thought she could hear a sound of ringing mirth bubble forth from L's countenance, though he made no move or sound to indicate that he was paying any attention to either of them.

The flash of a scowl passed briefly across Light's face, before he schooled his features and looked towards the distance again. The writhing black haze around him grew still as he strained to listen.

"I don't hear anything," he said after a long moment.

"No?" said L, sounding surprised. He turned to face Light. "That's odd. They've been ringing incessantly all day. Terribly distracting, I must say. I couldn't focus on the case at all, all I could think about were the sound of those bells."

Jubilee noted with interest that the line over the detective's head stayed straight.

He continued, "I wonder if it's a church, perhaps a wedding. Or..." The gray around him took on a darker tinge, but his face showed no emotion. "Is it a funeral?" He put a finger to his chin and looked up thoughtfully. Then, as though having a new thought, he gestured towards Jubilee. "Miss Amachi here can hear them, can't you, Miss—"

"Ryuzaki," Light cut him off, a bite of impatience in his tone. "What are you playing at? Come on, cut it out." He turned back towards the door. "Let's all go back inside."

L stopped and gave the other boy a long, measuring look. His expression became almost sad all of a sudden, and he turned away again. "I'm sorry. It seems that nothing I say is making much sense these days."

The line over his head still didn't break, although Jubilee's heart did. She opened her mouth to object, but Light had turned back around and beat her to speaking.

"You know, you're right," he said. "There'd be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time." He considered L's back for a moment, before adding, "Because a lot of the things that you say aren't true."

"That may be so," returned L. "But..." He turned around slowly to lock eyes with Light. "I could say the same of you." His voice lowered as he went on, "Tell me, Light...has there ever been a point, from the moment you were born—that you have actually told the truth?"

There was a tense beat. Jubilee looked between the two men. Over both their heads, lines wavered but did not break. All of a sudden, tendrils from Light's haze lashed out towards the detective, making her flinch. They stopped just before reaching him, however, and recoiled slightly just as Light cleared his throat.

"I don't know what you're getting at," he began, his tone cool. The tendrils of darkness withdrew slowly back into him. "But, first of all...no one is ever truthful their entire lives. People aren't perfect."

Jubilee's hands clenched. It was true. Who knew that better than she did?

He went on, more coldly, "Even so, I can honestly say that if I have ever lied, I've made a point of making sure that it was only ever for the good of others."

In the brief pause that ensued, the line over his head stayed straight. Which, Jubilee thought to herself, meant that he was either telling the truth or sincerely thought that he was.

"I thought you'd say that," said L at last, softly.

Light turned from both of them then. "Let's go back inside, guys. There's going to be a thunder storm soon."

"Very well," agreed the detective. He began to follow Light to the door, then glanced back at Jubilee. For the briefest moment, color sparked from him again, though his expression didn't change as he addressed her. "Let's go and get dried off, shall we—Julie?" He turned from her before she could respond, continuing to the door.

Jubilee stood frozen in the rain for a second. _That's the first time he's called me by just that name_. No added use of her fake surname, no formal title of Miss tacked on beforehand. _And it will be the last,_ whispered a premonition in the back of her mind.

The sound of bells still chimed in the distance, sounding louder somehow. She glanced over at where Hellenos had been standing to see if he was still there. He was, but only as a mere ghost of an image.

 _ **Child, I'm not sure if you've never looked happier, or sadder,**_ he commented. His voice sounded faint and distant.

The rain continued to pour down on her. She couldn't tell if that was what was streaming down her face, or if it was her own tears.

"Probably both," she whispered.

Then, she turned and ran after L.

* * *

L, Light and Jubilee sat in the kitchenette that was sectioned off from the main investigative room, drying themselves off with towels that they had grabbed from the laundry room on their way downstairs. The distant sound of thunder rumbled overhead. Jubilee wrung out her long hair in the sink, grumbling over all the wet knots that it had accrued. Next to her Hellenos hovered quietly, only a slight shimmer.

"That was quite an ordeal," commented L from where he stood hunched in a corner, wiping at his mop of hair with a thick white towel. He had grabbed the fluffiest one for himself.

"It's your fault for being out in that downpour," muttered Light from where he sat on a low wooden stool, towel drying his own hair. "Pretty sure you were the one who was out there first, and then Julie must have failed to talk any sense into you." With a sigh, he kicked off his soggy shoes and began stripping wet socks from his feet.

L eyed the other man's feet for a second, then raised his eyes to Jubilee, who had turned from the sink to face them.

"Actually," he began quietly, "There were a few things she said that I took to heart."

Jubilee's heart thumped at this, and she watched as L suddenly knelt before Light, towel in hand.

"Here," he said, lifting one of Light's feet with a pale hand. "Let me help you." He brought his towel to the sole of Light's foot and began drying it.

Light flinched at the detective's touch. "Uh—" he began. "That's really...not necessary..." He tried to pull his foot back.

L didn't release his foot. "Please," he said, his attention on his work. "I insist. My towel is thicker, and—" Briefly he lifted his eyes again to Jubilee, before returning his gaze downwards as he continued to dry Light's feet. "It's the least I can do...to atone for my sins."

Light stopped protesting and gazed with wide eyes down at the man kneeling before him and drying his feet. He opened his mouth to say something else, seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. Slowly, he reached forward with his towel to catch the drips of water falling from L's hair.

"You're dripping on me," he said quietly.

L was silent for a long beat. Then he said simply, "I am sorry." The line over his head was straight and unbending. "For everything." He glanced up at Light then, a strange look in his eyes. "You and I will be parting ways very soon...won't we, Light?"

Light said nothing, just stared back at the detective.

Jubilee silently watched the two men, unable to look away. Beside her Hellenos' presence began to flicker in and out of her awareness, like flashes of lightning. There was a feeling in the air like that of a distant storm brewing, both indoors as well as outside. Her head began to throb slightly.

The sound of a ringtone shattered the silence. L released Light's foot and fished a cell phone out of his pocket, delicately flipping it open with the tips of his fingers.

"Yes?" he said into the mobile. "I see. Yes, I will proceed straight away." He snapped the phone shut and stood abruptly, facing both Light and Jubilee. "Shall we go then?" he asked them.

Light nodded stiffly and, needing no further prodding, got up and walked ahead of them out the kitchenette exit. L made to follow him, when Jubilee reached over and grabbed him by the sleeve of his elbow. He stopped and turned to her.

"L," she whispered, staring at the floor. The throbbing in her head was slowly increasing, like the cadence of many tribal drums. "Is...I mean...something is about to happen." She looked up at him and added softly, "Isn't it?"

He returned her gaze for a long moment, before taking a small step towards her. Reaching out, he took the thin towel from between her fingers and used it to wipe away the dampness still lingering on her brow.

"I would use my towel, as it's more absorbent," he said. "But then you'd have Light's feet all over your face."

At this she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. A sound escaped her throat that was a mixture of both. "That might be even more humiliating than washing and drying his feet," she commented with a shaky laugh. "Speaking of which...was it?"

"Humiliating?" L finished wiping her forehead and dropped his hand. "A bit, yes. But I thought it might be worth it to practice 'seeing through a lens of grace,' as you put it."

She smiled widely at him, tears brimming her eyes. "L," she began slowly. "I—I know you probably aren't going to want to hear this, but...there's something I have to tell you."

L went silent, gazing down at her with an unreadable expression. She took a deep breath, her heart pounding, and was about to continue when the sound of Aizawa's voice broke through the air.

"Ryuzaki!" roared the other man from the main room. "What is the meaning of this!"

Jubilee faltered. L's large gray eyes remained locked on hers, and for a moment he gave no sign that he had heard the other man. Then, without turning, he called behind him, "The meaning of what, Aizawa?"

The older man's voice thundered from the kitchenette entrance. "I go home for one night—one night!—and you go and get permission from another country to use the notebook in an execution?! At what lengths are you willing to go to, man?"

"At whatever lengths it will take," answered L. He finally turned from Jubilee to face Aizawa, who was now standing red-faced at the door. L continued calmly, "This test is the last thing standing in our way, and then the case can be solved. Welcome back by the way, Aizawa, glad to see you have been caught up with the proceedings. Please begin the arrangements to transport the notebook at once."

"Like hell I'll do that!" shouted Aizawa. "I'm not taking orders from an immoral madman!" He stormed away again.

"Very well," said L. He fished out his cell phone once more, dialing a number. "I'll take care of it myself."

The drum-like throbbing in Jubilee's head had reached a fever pitch. She could barely hear herself through it as she tried to speak again. "L, listen. I..." She took another deep breath, both to calm her nerves and to try and quiet the the drumming in her head. "I lo—"

A loud crack of thunder sounded from outside, and the lights suddenly went out. At the same time a shrill alarm began to blare. From the main room, a harsh red light started flashing, flooding into the entrance of the kitchenette where they stood.

L looked up from his phone, his hand tightening around the device as a dark look overtook his features.

Jubilee, startled, took a step back. The flashing light and the sound of the alarm, mixed in with the the pulsing throb in her head, made her feel disoriented and painfully dizzy. "Wha—what is that?"

L had turned swiftly on his heel and was striding into the main room. Jubilee followed helplessly after him. Back in the main room, the red light continued to flash and the alarm was even louder. Matsuda and Mogi had returned along with Aizawa, and everyone was in an uproar.

"What's going on?" cried Matsuda. "Is this a blackout?"

L hopped into his chair, grabbing the intercom by his computer. "Watari," he said into the mic. There was no response. "Watari!" he repeated, with more force.

Still the old man's voice did not come. Instead, every monitor in the room suddenly turned blinding white and displayed, in big black letters, the words: ALL DATA DELETION.

"Data deletion?" read Aizawa, sounding shocked. "But...why?"

L's head had lowered so that his hair fell forward and hid his face. The gray haze around him became dark and ominous. "I told Watari to delete all data pertaining to the case," he grit out. "In the event that something should happen to him."

"Happen to him?" repeated Soichiro, aghast.

Jubilee suddenly gasped and clutched at her heart as a flash of pain pulsed through it. For a second she felt gripped by fear—was this a heart attack? Had Light overheard her name spoken on the roof, had Misa written it into a Death Note, had Kira gotten to her after all?—but then the pain stopped as suddenly as it had come. On impulse she glanced upwards at the ceiling and then froze. Somewhere far, far above her, she sensed an ember of life go out.

"Where is the shinigami?" L demanded. His voice was hard.

"What?" cried Matsuda, just as Mogi repeated, in a panicked voice, "The shinigami?"

Aizawa spun around, looking all over the room. "I don't see it!"

"Come to think of it," said Soichiro, his tone anxious as he scanned the premises, "I haven't seen it for the last hour."

Only Light remained silent, seemingly frozen in shock behind everyone else.

L placed his hands on the desk. "Everyone," he began quickly, his voice urgent. "The shinig—"

His voice suddenly caught in his throat. Jubilee felt her entire world shake then, as though a giant had just rocked the building. She stumbled forward and the flash of pain from before pulsed through her heart again like a signal warning. Gasping for breath, she caught herself and braced her hands against her knees, before looking back up at L to see what had made him stop.

The detective's eyes had gone wide. His body was frozen stiffly atop his chair, like an awkward marionette just before its strings are snipped. The gray haze around him had grown suddenly pale. No lights or colors could be seen in it.

And then he started to fall.

Time slowed as the image before Jubilee overlapped with one from deep within her subconscious—a familiar, recurring vision of a man falling from his chair...falling, falling—and a sudden feeling of dread seized her even before her brain could catch up to what was happening. All around her red lights flashed, the siren continued to blare, and there were shouts and gasps. She couldn't feel Hellenos' presence at all. Only an overpowering, unavoidable sense of dread.

She started to take a helpless step forward, towards the falling man, when out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure dash past her. It was Light.

He rushed forward and, almost too late, caught the detective before he hit the floor.

"Ryuzaki!" he cried.

L didn't answer. He hung limp in Light's arms, his eyes still wide but growing slowly vacant as they stared up into Light's face. Around him the gray haze was starting to fade. Jubilee felt the ember within him grow dim.

She stood frozen mid-step, paralyzed with horror. Light's back was to her as he kneeled over the fallen detective and cradled him in his arms. She could hear nothing; no hint of anyone's thoughts, no word from Hellenos, no sound of Dad's voice. There was only a long, loud stillness. Even the blaring siren grew distant and dim in her consciousness. Then, she heard one, final thought sound from the detective's mind.

 _I was right._

L's head fell back, his eyes closing, and the haze around him dissipated. The ember within him went out.

Time sped back up. With a cry, Jubilee flung herself forward.

"L!" she screamed, falling to the floor beside him and Light. " _L!_ " She grabbed the detective's shoulder and shook it frantically.

"Julie," said Light softly, not looking at her. He continued to stare down at L's still face. "I think he's gone."

"No!" she shouted. She threw herself onto L's chest and balled the white material of his shirt between her fists, shaking him. "L, come back," she demanded. "You've got to come back!" _I never got to tell you..._

Around her there were gasps and cries of, "Ryuzaki!" She heard none of it, only stared down at L's face, now even paler than it had been before. In sudden desperation, she clasped her hands together over the dead man's chest, burying her face into his shirt.

"Dad," she whispered. "Please. _Please_ , bring him back."

Nothing happened. Beneath her, the body was cold. She could feel no heartbeat.

"Please!" she cried, more loudly this time. "I'll do anything, just, please—" _Please don't take him from me. Not another person that I love. Not again._

"Hey." It was Aizawa's voice next to her. He placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "You have to let go of him. Come on." He tried to help her up, but she shook him off. "Julie," he said, grabbing ahold of her arm and taking a more firm tone. "I know this is hard, but we need to get up and look for that shinigami. We can mourn for Ryuzaki later."

"Yeah," piped up Matsuda in a trembling voice. He had come to kneel beside her as well, and now cast L's body a sorrowful look. "I—I'm sorry, Julie. But, at least—at least he's in a better place now."

Jubilee froze at those last words.

"It's okay, guys," Light was saying. "Leave her alone. We can go and look for the shinigami in a little bit. Let her have a minute."

Jubilee had raised herself back up onto her knees and now turned to stare at the men. "A better place?" she repeated softly. Her eyes were still glazed over with shock, but suddenly they went wide with fear. "But...how do we know that?"

All three men stared at her.

"Uh—" began Matsuda uncomfortably.

Jubilee paled then as memories of a cold, black void, its dreadful jaws open wide to swallow her as her soul rushed up to meet it, hit her full force.

"Oh God," she breathed. What if—what if he was headed for...

Jerking her arm out of Aizawa's grasp, she flung herself towards L again, kneeling over him and frantically bringing her hands together over his chest.

"Dad," she began shakily, staring down at L's still body. "You can—you can have him. Okay?" Tears pricked at her eyes then, but she forced herself to go on, "Just...make a way for him to not go where I almost went. Like you did for me. Please." Her hands shook where they were clasped over L's chest. It suddenly occurred to her that Aizawa was right, even if he didn't know it. She did need to let go.

Glancing skywards, she whispered, "You know what it is that I want. But..." Gritting her teeth, she closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Not my will...but yours be done," she finished softly.

Silence met her plea, and she could go on speaking no longer. Breaking down into sobs, she fisted L's shirt between her clenched hands and continued to pray—this time not with words, but only with tears.

* * *

L's first thought, as he attained conscious awareness again, was that heart attacks really hurt. His second thought was that Light Yagami having shinigamis on his side was really unfair. And his third, resounding thought was: _I was right. I was right. I was right._

The satisfaction of this thought was quickly overridden, however, by the strange feeling of empty darkness all around him, along with an uncomfortable sense of windless motion. It seemed that he was being projected at an accelerated rate towards some distant destination in infinite space. Every now and then the darkness around him grew a tad more colorless, a shade dimmer, in an inexplicable way that made him feel as though he was traveling down some kind of colorless color wheel. He tried to turn his head around, to look behind himself and better assess his travel route thus far, but realized that he couldn't—for he was no longer corporeal.

 _Interesting,_ he thought to himself. So this was what it was like to be in a non-physical dimension.

Ahead of him stretched a gaping black expanse that writhed like a cold, dark sea of rolling waves. From it echoed an eerie chorus of cruel laughter—one moment sounding like snickering children, another moment like the mocking giggles of a woman, and the next like a crowd of ridiculing spectators. Underneath the sound was a discordant tone that rang like an off-tune organ key. L's sense of unease grew.

It was clear to him where he was going. Apparently even in death he retained his deductive reasoning abilities. Everything that was happening right now matched up with Jubilee Jenkins' descriptions of her after-death experience. Well, with the first part of it at least. He doubted that things were going to end the same way for him as they had for her.

Which was exactly why he was where he was, wasn't it? He'd never been one to have much faith. As such, he decided, he was resigned to his fate.

Even so, his uneasiness grew as he rapidly drew closer and closer to the black expanse. The sound of laughter became mingled with intermittent screams that faded as quickly as he heard them, so that he couldn't be sure whether he had heard them at all. Somehow, the uncertainty of that bothered him even more than it would have if the screams of pain had been loud and clear. The laughter turned into Light's all of a sudden—maniacal sounding and victorious—and then, just as suddenly, it was Misa's—shrill and contemptuous. Abruptly it became a still, dreadful silence. And then, gradually, it morphed into a horrific sound of weeping.

Images flashed through L's mind, sharp and merciless in their vividness of both memory and emotion. Children crying, their traumatized wails echoing down long, narrow corridors. The guttural and drawn out scream of a young girl, the one who had walked into a room at Wammy's House for Gifted Orphans to find Adam—by then known as A—hanging from a noose tied to the rafters. The cackling laughter of a boy who looked just like L—Beyond Birthday—that somehow, eerily, still sounded like crying. Blood, blood, blood. Dead bodies, too many to count, too many that L had been too late to save, piling up over the years like an unremovable weight from his soul. Watari kneeling in the cemetery by the orphanage when he thought no one was watching, tears streaming silently down his face as he visited tiny graves.

Watari. L felt a pang at the thought of the old man—the man who had been the only father figure he had ever known. Kira had gotten Watari, too.

The sudden regret that L felt seemed to call out to something deep within the black void ahead. A loud wave of discordant sound—at once a mixture of weeping, cackling, and screaming, interwoven together by a strange and throbbing low-pitched frequency—rolled forth from the expanse and enveloped him. The feeling of regret within him was suddenly magnified a hundred times over, becoming tangibly, overwhelmingly unbearable, like a thousand tiny insects crawling underneath nonexistent skin.

L's earlier resolve to be resigned to his fate began to crack. He suddenly realized that everything he had thought he was escaping from in life was now only going to be multiplied a thousandfold in death. Slowly, the sense of dread and unease within him sharpened into a pure, unadulterated fear.

Merciless laughter bubbled forth loudly from the void ahead of him, which he was drawing closer and closer to, at a faster and faster rate. He knew without a doubt that it was laughing at him, and laughing at his fear. And there was no escaping it.

 _Dad..._ whispered a small, faint voice.

He barely heard the voice through the wave of mocking laughter. As his consciousness drew closer to the black void, he quickly lost any remembrance that he had heard it at all.

 _Please,_ the voice came again, dimly. _Please don't take him from me._

The voice was female, he noted distantly. And familiar. It sounded like...

Briefly the image of a woman's face flashed through his mind. A face that had hovered over his own, filled with worry after he had been punched by Light, a face that had often looked upon him with anger and resentment, but then, in his final days, with something else. It was Jubilee Jenkins' face.

 _Not another person that I love. Not again._

The voice became fainter, lost in a roar of sound as the wave around him tried to draw him in like a tide, sucking him towards its source of eternal blackness. Just before the darkness overtook his mind, a grim realization finally dawned on him.

The look in Jubilee's eyes, as she had gazed upon him in his final hours, was love.

Oh, he had known this on some vague intellectual level. But now, freed from the earthly confinement of a body as well as from the physical dimension, he understood the fact like he never had before. Ironic that it should be now, in his last moments before he entered hell. Probably purposeful, too, just to spite him.

He had always said that he would probably die before he understood love.

He had always been right.

Jubilee Jenkins had loved him. A pity he couldn't ever quite understand that while he was on earth. A pity that a girl like her, the only other person besides Watari who had ever had any love for him, should fall in love with someone like him, who was incapable of returning her love.

Those were his last thoughts as the wave of blackness overtook him and drew him into the waiting void.

Somewhere beyond his range of awareness, beyond the dark veil of the void, a final, desperate plea drifted across the universe.

 _Not my will...but yours be done._

And then, there was only silence.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... _but_ , before you guys throw a riot or go jumping off of bridges, I have some GOOD NEWS: the NEXT chapter will be out tomorrow!**

 **Now that that's out of the way...this chapter and the next are a bit shorter than previous chapters, but would have been too long if combined so I split them up. I missed the goal for completing this chapter by a few days, but once I finished the draft I realized that this was way too much of a cliffhanger to leave you guys hanging on for one or more weeks. Soooo I did all I could to churn out the next one as well, to post them on consecutive days. So! Please don't have any heart attacks. Or bite your nails all bloody. Otherwise how will you scroll down to read the next chapter when it comes out TOMORROW?**

 **I'll leave it at that for now. Until tomoooorow~!**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

In the main room at headquarters, the alarm had finally stopped blaring. The usual fluorescent lighting had come back on overhead, glaring down upon the motionless inhabitants of the room. Jubilee had not moved from her spot where she was prostrated over L's body, her shaking hands clenched into fists that were half clinging on to his shirt, half clenched together in some semblance of prayer. Tears streamed down her face and onto the white material between her fingertips.

The rest of the Task Force surrounded her, either kneeling beside her or standing a little ways behind, their heads bowed. Perhaps some of them were also praying for the fallen detective's passing.

At last Matsuda lifted his head to look uncertainly at Jubilee, then at the other men. His gaze landed on Light as the closest authority figure to turn to. "Um, Light?" he began hesitantly. "What do we—that is, should we...?"

Light, his head still bowed so that his hair hid his eyes, held up a hand to quiet the other man. "Another minute, Matsuda," he said. "Especially for Julie's sake."

"Ah," faltered Matsuda. "Right—of course."

Jubilee did not hear either of them. Between sporadic, hiccuping sobs, her lips silently moved as she continued to hold on to L's shirt, her eyes squeezed shut. Somewhere in her distant awareness, she sensed the warmth of Hellenos' presence still beside her, kneeling there with her. He seemed to be speaking, but she couldn't understand his words. He was holding one hand comfortingly to her back, and the other over her clasped hands.

And there was another pair of hands holding on to hers as well.

Slowly Jubilee raised her head to look, bleary-eyed, before her. Besides L's lifeless body she could see nothing, not even Hellenos. The sight made any earlier awareness she had had of the angel's presence instantly flicker out like a light. Choking back a sob, she closed her eyes again, burying her face back into L's shirt.

The feeling of Hellenos' presence returned then, more strongly this time, along with the sensation of another set of hands around hers. With her eyes still closed, vision gradually began to flood her mind.

Another figure was kneeling across from her, on the other side of L. It looked somewhat like Hellenos but more feminine. Wings cascaded gracefully down the creature's back, and its hands were cupped imploringly around Jubilee's fists. The hands had a familiar warmth to them, in a strange way that felt like something she had felt before. Briefly the memory of a warmth cupping her right ear, up on the roof, while Hellenos had cupped her left, flitted through her mind. And then another memory came to her.

 _Why don't you be_ _his_ _guardian angel then,_ she had snapped irritably at Hellenos.

 _ **Because he's already got one.**_

 _Good Lord, there are TWO of you?_

Through closed eyes, Jubilee clearly saw the other angel now. It flashed her a quick, encouraging smile. Speaking something that Jubilee couldn't hear, it patted her clenched hands once more with its own. Then it reached out its hands to her, palms up, as though in a gentle plea.

Jubilee's hands only tightened impulsively on L's shirt. But then another warmth whispered through her heart like a sweet, distant song.

 _Trust me,_ it said.

Jubilee's ragged breathing stilled. Slowly, ever so slowly, she let her hands unclench. Without opening her eyes or lifting her face, she released L's shirt. Then she raised her hands, palms up like the angel's, and laid them back down across L's chest.

So quietly that only Light—who was closest to her—could hear, she repeated in a whisper her words from earlier:

" _Dad...not my will, but yours be done._ "

* * *

L had never known coldness until this moment. He had never known darkness, even after so many years secluded in unlit rooms, nor had he known pain, until the moment that the void closed its black jaws on him and he was sealed into a dimension of eternal nothingness that seemed to rip apart his very soul. He would have screamed except he had no mouth, no voice, and somehow this seemed to drive the pain even deeper into his being. Screams sounded from all around him nonetheless, as though reflecting his thoughts and echoing them back to him over and over again. His very existence seemed caught in a loop of being endlessly decimated; first like glass shattering into a million pieces, then like fabric slashed into a thousand ribbons, and then like wood incinerated by flames into scattered ash. Yet through it all he remained cold, colder than he had ever known, as though he had been stripped naked and abandoned in a dark, tundra wilderness.

 _Dad..._

The voice from before was weak and distant, and L didn't hear it amidst the all the screaming. Darkness wrapped itself around him possessively, like angry tendrils of ice.

 _Not my will..._

The tendrils stiffened, as though in dread.

 _...But yours, be done._

There was a moment of tense, fuming silence.

Then, suddenly, a light pierced through the darkness. It cut through the void like a shooting star in the night, lifting the foggy pain from L's consciousness. He felt the tendrils release him, giving a shrieking wail as they did so.

And then something was hauling him backwards, out of the darkness.

Out of the grips of the howling void he was pulled, its furious screams chasing vainly after him as he went. As he exited its jaws, the air around him thinned and became lighter, like he was breaking the surface of a stormy ocean and finding oxygen above its churning waves.

 _Not my will, but yours be done,_ the voice repeated all around him, and he finally recognized it again as Jubilee's voice. Yet it was not totally her voice, at least not how he remembered it in life, for now it was loud and powerful and the words were spoken with more confidence than he had ever heard her speak on earth. It resonated and chimed like a thousand church bells, like an otherworldly chorus that had never known any semblance of fear or doubt.

He was traveling faster now, going upwards in a gradual and sweeping arc. As he did the voice continued to speak, in that same unearthly tone that seemed to resound throughout all of time and space.

 _You can have him,_ it said. _I give him to you._

The voice was at once soft and yet all-encompassing, like the sound of a gentle wind rustling through the branches of an endless forest. Faint colors returned to the air around L as he continued to be pulled upwards. Reddish scarlet and then coppery orange whizzed by his field of vision.

 _I love him. I love him, Dad._ The voice carried a tone of heartbreaking sorrow now, and it simultaneously wrenched at L's soul yet brought a cathartic sense of release with it as it continued, _But...he is yours._

Bright yellow flew past him, warming him as it did so. Vaguely he felt a sense of wonder as a new realm of understanding began to open up to him. Love _._ He had _known,_ in his mind, that he had been loved—by Watari, and then by Jubilee in the end as well—but now he could _feel_ it on a deeper, unexplainable level. The air around him continued to grow warmer as an unfamiliar sensation of lightness filled him. Was this what it was like to be loved?

 _And,_ the voice continued, sweet and melodic, _I know that you love him even more than I do._

The yellow around him turned into a vivid, emerald green, interspersed with bright, starry streaks that continued to fly by him.

 _I know you,_ said the voice. _And I know...that you don't want even one person to be lost._

In rapid succession the emerald hues turned into blue, then indigo, then purple, all tinged with a shimmery, ethereal gold. His trajectory suddenly veered sharply upwards into a straight, vertical shot.

 _So—Father._ The voice turned from one into many, interwoven with rushing waters that sang like bell song and with whirling winds that chimed like tinkling crystals, into an orchestra of a thousand voices. The sound engulfed him like a pair of warm, welcoming arms. _Into your hands...I commend this spirit._

A million colors suddenly exploded into white, blinding light. L stumbled forward onto a pair of feet on solid ground. Except it wasn't solid, not quite. It was as though he was standing on pure light. Stunned, he looked around to take in his new surroundings. Everything was bright, too bright to make out any details. Then, before him, a figure slowly came into focus. It took a slow, surprised step towards him, then suddenly ran at him full force, wrapping him into its arms as it collided with him.

" _My boy?_ " it cried, in a familiar sounding voice.

L stared up into a bright face. "Watari...? Is that you?"

The old man's features sharpened and became clear before L's eyes. He was smiling. " _It's Quillish again, here—L._ "

L could hardly believe what he was seeing. "What—am I...how is it that—" For once he found himself at a complete loss for words. "Why am I here?" he managed at last. For he knew where it was that he must be.

Quillish Wammy beamed at him. " _Grace_ ," he said simply, his face aglow with joyful radiance. " _Love. Just like I've always told you, dear boy_."

"Love?" echoed L dumbly, for perhaps the first time in his existence. Around him, colors began to gently swirl, becoming one with both him and the man in front of him.

" _Yes_ ," affirmed the old man, who didn't quite look so old anymore. His hair was still gray, but now it glowed like silver, and the wrinkles that had once been on his face were now smoothed away. " _Yes, indeed,_ " he said again, laughing happily as the otherworldly colors danced around them. " _Would you like to meet him?_ "

L could formulate no response, too caught up in the shock of everything that was happening. The colors, most of which he had never seen before, had begun to take on a melodious sound—or perhaps they had always had sound, and he was only just starting to gain the ability to hear it—that sounded akin to the chorus of impossible harmonies which had projected him upwards earlier.

Watari gazed upon him with a look of warm affection. Reaching out a hand, he placed it fondly on L's head. " _L...my dear, dear boy,_ " he said, his eyes crinkling with emotion. " _I am so happy that you are here._ "

Then he removed his arms from around him and stepped back. L was about to protest at the sudden distance, when the melody around him exploded into a loud orchestra of harmonic sound, all at once a voice and a song, a roaring fire and a rushing wind. The colors twirling about him intensified and combined into a prism of light. And in that light there stood a figure.

It was tall, and yet at the same time it seemed to have no determinate size. It was like a column of flame, and yet it also looked to be human. The figure stretched forth its arms to him, opening them wide. And then it began to speak.

Its voice was not one that L's mind was able to comprehend, and this incredulous fact alone was enough to make him stagger on his feet. The figure reached out a hand to catch him as he fell forward, steadying him. It continued to speak, its voice a mixture of thunder and fire, wind and rain. In its sound was the chorus of every newborn's first breath of life, every child's laughter of delight, every man and woman's exclamations of love.

 _Love._ This was what was rolling off of the being before him in endless waves. But instead of drowning him, like the dark waves of the void had tried to do, these waves buoyed him upwards, filling his lungs with fresh new air. For the first time since he had been a child, he felt tears sting at his eyes. Yet somehow, in the presence of this being, they were unable to fall.

The figure reached out and cupped a hand to L's cheek. It spoke once more, the song of its voice rising and dipping like a graceful dancer. Suddenly L was a little boy again, and it was Watari's face that was smiling down on him with love and encouragement as he was led through a set of tall black gates; then he was a grown man once more and the face became Jubilee's, her hand brushing against his cheek as she bandaged his cuts with attention and care; and then he was an infant, held in the arms of a woman with long, wild black hair, her brow glistening with the sweat of having just given birth, gazing down upon him with a look of utter adoration.

In that brief moment, L thought he could make out the sound of words.

 _ **You are loved, my son,**_ he thought he heard, in a voice that was many voices and that was in no language he had ever heard before. _**Always remember.**_

Then the figure stretched out its other hand towards L's chest, reaching straight through his sternum and into his core. L looked down in wonder just as he felt the fingers curl gently around his heart. As they did, infinite rays of light suddenly shot out from the center of his being, bursting into a thousand different colors that were imbued with hundreds of different melodies.

The sound, the color and the light all became one, dancing within him and around him, intermingling with the song of the voice and with the radiance of the figure before him. L felt his heart give a sudden, powerful thump.

And then the whole world around him dissolved into a shower of colorful, fluid swirls, like a dreamscape melting back into reality.

His last thoughts before it all faded away were:

 _I will remember._

 _I promise._

* * *

When L opened his eyes again to the glare of fluorescent lights, he instantly thought to himself that it was the ugliest, most horrible thing he had ever seen. The stark contrast of earthly light, of earthly color and air, of _earth_ itself, against all the otherworldly beauty that he had just experienced, felt almost as painful as hell itself. An unfamiliar longing tore at him and he closed his eyes again, wishing more than he had ever wished for anything before that he wasn't back in this place.

Somewhere at the back of his mind old, familiar thought processes kicked back into gear. He immediately deduced that the emotions he was feeling must be due to the abrupt transition between the heavenly and earthly planes, from an infinitely high dimension back down to the third dimension, from a celestial body back into a physical one. Regardless of the scientific explanation, however, it undeniably, unmistakably sucked.

Also, his shirt was wet. Why was his shirt wet? He'd had a heart attack, not been stabbed in the chest, for heaven's sake.

The sound of sniffling reached his ears then, and he realized then that there was a warm weight on his chest. A person. Someone was crying over him.

Crying. That was the other thing about earth. People cried a lot in this place. They also died a lot, and then more people cried as a result, and then the cycle repeated itself over and over, and why was he back here again?

He gave a groan. His heart hurt. Earthly bodies were a huge pain, especially after cardiac arrest.

Gasps sounded from all around him, one of which was close beside him.

"Ryuzaki!" cried several voices.

Who? Oh, right. That was him.

He felt something tickle his face then, and the feeling of light, warm breath ghosted across his skin.

He didn't want to open his eyes again to see what it was. Why should he? This place was awful. He just wanted to go back home. And home was not earth.

"L?" whispered a soft, gentle voice.

He opened his eyes then, surprised to hear his true name. Above him hovered Jubilee, her long brown hair dangling down onto him. Her cheeks were tear-streaked and her eyes red, filled with a mixture of worry, wonder and shock. She looked pale from fright, and her features were pinched from crying. Yet in that instant, her face became the same face as the figure who had reached into his heart and brought him back to life.

The pain in his brain, that of two clashing dimensions trying to be reconciled within his soul, finally settled and then dissolved. Jubilee's face became clear before his vision again, and he thought vaguely to himself that, unlike before, this was a sight that did not hurt to see.

Slowly he moved to prop himself up on one elbow, the rest of him still sprawled out on the ground. It registered with him that there was a bit of a ruckus going on all around him; some continued gasps of awe, men asking each other excited questions, a frenzied phone call being made somewhere in the background. Before him Jubilee sat back on her heels, allowing him some space while still staring at him in shock. A foot or so behind her Light Yagami also stared, a look of barely disguised fury blazing beneath his eyes.

At any other time, L Lawliet would have liked to take this moment to gloat. To bask in the satisfaction of having a victorious bounce back from a perceived checkmate. But at the moment, he didn't care about Kira. He didn't care about the case. The logical part of his brain knew that he probably would later. But right now, his mind still whirling from the revelation of a place and a person that encompassed a whole new dimension wherein there were no pain or problems, no sorrow or striving...he could only think about one thing.

"I...saw it," he croaked, his voice a low rasp. He stared at Jubilee, and for a fraction of a second it almost looked to him as though she were glowing with the same light as the place where he had just been. Clearing his throat, he continued, "I saw—what you saw."

Jubilee gazed at him with wide brown eyes. A flurry of different emotions passed through them—stunned wonderment, unimaginable relief, boundless and ineffable joy. With a stifled sob of happiness, she pitched herself forward and threw her arms over him, wrapping them around him tight.

L wobbled in surprise under this new weight. Jubilee's body felt warm around him, and for a moment he was reminded of the warmth of heaven. For a long beat he did nothing but stare down at the girl who was hugging him.

Then, slowly, he brought an arm up to wrap around her shoulders, and returned her embrace.

* * *

 **A/N: I am literally** **editing and posting this chapter while** **helping to run a massive yard sale at the same time. So the combination of both things has me on an adrenaline high. All to say, that I am so, so excited to present you with this chapter. I also kind of wanted to wait longer in order to go over the whole thing a final time once things were more quiet, but that time may not present itself anytime soon and I just felt that, after yesterday's chapter, this was needed immediately.**

 **On a quick note, thank you so so much for the reviews so far from yesterday's chapter. I hope that this new one brought what you were waiting for, and that wherever you all are, you have an excellent rest of your weekend! I'll be aiming to bring you the next chapter in another 1-2 weeks.**

 **Love to you all! Thank you guys, for being on this ride with me.** **I better go and get back to the crazy adventure of real life now, but I'll probably be all kinds of stupid giddy along the way. Because HALLELUJAH, HE LIIIIIIIIIIVES!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Bah-da-da-duuum! I'm back!**

* * *

Chapter 35

Light slipped quietly into the security room on the top floor, the one that belonged to Watari. The old man's body was slumped forward, lifeless, in the chair before the monitors, his fingers still resting against a big red button on the control panel. Light eyed the panel from where he stood, checking to make sure that the downstairs surveillance monitors hadn't switched back on since the reset. They hadn't.

Relaxing, he moved forward into the room, going straight to the pile of ash in a far corner. The edge of a black notebook poked out from beneath the gray dust. It was Rem's Death Note.

Light bent to retrieve it, shaking the remains of the deceased shinigami from off of its covers. Then he slipped the notebook into his inner coat pocket, before striding over to the control panel by Watari's corpse and flipping a switch. The monitors in front of him flickered back on to show surveillance of the rest of the building, through which task force members frantically combed hallways in search of Rem. None of them were anywhere near the top floor. Good.

Sliding the Death Note back out of his coat, he flipped it open. To his chagrin, the pages were all filled with names written in every direction, without any heed to lines, spacing or order. He scowled. Did all shinigami write in their Death Notes like this? Flipping to the last page, he scanned the bottom, only to find names that were either written in a foreign alphabet, or that were clearly female. What's more, they all went in diagonal directions, piling up in the corners of the page without any indication as to which could have been written last. Light snapped the book shut with a growl and put it back into his coat pocket. He'd have to go over it more thoroughly later.

Pulling his cell phone from his pocket, he flipped it open to call Aizawa. Before he could hit dial, however, a scene on the monitors caught his eye.

It was L and Julie, still sitting together on the floor of the main room. The two were huddled at a close distance from each other, talking quietly.

Light's fingers clenched around his phone. Rage, white-hot and fused with hatred, coursed through him.

L was supposed to be dead. He, Light, was supposed to have won. This whole game was supposed to be over, and he was supposed to be the god of a new world.

But something had gone wrong.

Somehow, L had beaten death. And Light didn't know how he had done it, but he was sure that Julie Amachi—or whatever her name really was—had something to do with it. The thought made him gnash his teeth.

He was going to kill her. One way or another, he would kill both of them, even if it meant making Misa copy down every single unrecognizable letter on the pages of Rem's Death Note into her own. That would take care of L. After that, he just had to figure out a way to kill Julie. And this time, he would make sure that neither of them could come back.

Hitting the dial button on his phone, he held the device up to his ear and cleared his throat, forcing himself to be calm.

"Aizawa?" he said when the other man answered. He took a deep breath and then, in a tone of fear and panic, went on, "It's—it's Watari! I...I found his body. And a strange pile of ash in the same room. I don't know what's going on here, but you all better get up here quick!"

Hanging up, he glanced back at the monitors. His gaze fell on L and Julie again. Slowly, a sinister smile crept onto his lips.

"This game isn't over yet," he said softly. " _I can still win._ "

* * *

Jubilee had held onto L for as long as she could, long after someone noticed that Light had disappeared, long after Aizawa had rounded up the others to "follow Light's example and find that shinigami." Somewhere in the background she was distantly aware of Hellenos and L's guardian angel, along with a vague flurry of other angelic activity, all apparently rejoicing amongst themselves. Hellenos and the other guardian angel looked to be sharing a high-five or something of its equivalent. But they all seemed to purposefully recede into the background, giving Jubilee and L space to share their moment. Only Matsuda lingered close by, awkwardly hovering over the two of them on the floor while they ignored him and continued to hug.

At last Jubilee reluctantly let go, wishing she could savor their embrace longer.

"You saw it?" she said in a whisper, her hands still on his shoulders.

He returned her gaze with wide gray eyes, and Jubilee noticed then that the gray haze which usually covered him was now gone.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I saw...Him."

A constellation of colors winked around him as he said this last word and, now free from the haze that once shrouded them, they looked brighter and clearer than Jubilee had ever seen. The memory of a glowing face flashed through her mind's eye, and for a split second her heart ached with an unexplainable longing that even L's presence couldn't seem to fill.

Then Matsuda cleared his throat, and the moment passed. Jubilee let go of L's shoulders and drew back.

"So," began the other man, in an almost inaudible squeak. "It's...all true then? Everything you said you saw, Miss Julie?"

The two of them turned to Matsuda, who was staring down at them with wide eyes that held equal parts fear and excitement.

"Yes," answered Jubilee. "Do you believe me now?"

Matsuda put a hand to his head, overwhelmed. "Wow," was all he could say at first. "Wow." From a few feet away, some of the columns of light glided towards Matsuda, sweeping over him gently while tittering in quiet but happy tones. Matsuda dropped his hand and the columns of light, seeming satisfied, disappeared. "What do we do now?" he asked, his tone more level but his expression still awestruck.

Jubilee looked to L. Cogs of colorful light whirled over his head as his brain re-engaged the situation. "We do what we were doing," he began slowly, his eyes regaining focus as he glanced around himself to get his bearings. His guardian angel moved back to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving Jubilee a cheerful wave before slowly fading from her sight. L continued, "We proceed as planned. Physical evidence is still needed to support the supernatural evidence that we have. We will need to test the thirteen-day rule." At this his eyes clouded over a bit, and the colors above his head darkened.

Matsuda nodded furiously. "Okay, boss," he said.

Jubilee was still looking at L. "What do we do about Light?" she asked, as Hellenos returned to stand quietly by her side.

"Wait, what?" said Matsuda, just as L replied, "We can do nothing right now."

Jubilee glanced between the two men, bewildered. "What do you mean?" she demanded both of them. They began to speak simultaneously, then stopped, Matsuda fumbling as he shut his mouth and mimed in confusion.

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "You go first, Matsuda," she told him. "What do you mean, 'wait, what'? What about the program do you not get?"

"I—I—" Matsuda stuttered. "I just...I believe what you said about your background now—coming back and all that, and the stuff you saw. But I guess...I guess I just...didn't really think about the part about Light yet."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, irritated. "So? Think about it!" She waited expectantly as a few colors churned above Matsuda's head while he thought and processed. "Well?" she prodded after a moment.

Matsuda looked at her, his brow creased in distress. "You don't—you don't really suspect Light of being Kira, do you?" he asked timidly.

"What!" Jubilee exploded. Hellenos' presence flickered out from beside her.

The officer held up his hands in self-defense. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he cried. "Don't be mad, it's just...it's just...can't there be some other explanation? Like he's being controlled, or something? I mean, it's Light! You don't really think that he would actually do all this himself...do you?" At this he gave Jubilee a pleading look.

She gazed back at him helplessly. A steady black line floated over Matsuda's head and a fragile baby blue shone shyly around him. The man was practically begging her to tell him that there was another possibility—anything other than someone he knew and trusted being a mass murderer. She glanced over at L for help. Surely he would know what to say. He knew for certain now that Light was Kira. She had heard the thought come from his own brain, right as he died looking up into Light's eyes.

The detective's expression was unreadable. "All will be clear when this case is solved," he said simply. "Don't worry about Light for now, Matsuda."

Matsuda's shoulders visibly sagged in relief at that. Jubilee was about to protest but then stopped, catching a glimpse of the still clouded look in L's eyes. Above his head, the swirling colors turned ominously dark. Understanding came over her.

"Yes," she agreed finally, turning back to the other man. She felt suddenly sad as she saw the look in Matsuda's eyes—so concerned, so worried, just as she once had been about Light's fate. Just like she still was. "We all want the best for Light here. Just know that."

Matsuda nodded slowly. "Okay, Miss Julie," he said.

The walkie-talkie clipped to his belt crackled then. " _Matsuda!_ " barked Aizawa's voice. " _Meet us on the top floor. Light says he's found something strange...and Watari's body._ "

Jubilee's hand flew to her mouth in horror and Matsuda flinched, then looked down at L uncertainly. The detective's head had lowered so that his face was hidden underneath black hair.

"Go on, Matsuda," he said without looking up.

Matsuda gave another hesitant nod and then turned, pulling out the walkie-talkie as he jogged for the stairs. "I'm on my way," he said into it before disappearing from view.

Jubilee turned back to L and lowered her hand, tears stinging her eyes. "I—I'm so sorry, L," she whispered. "About...Watari." Grief filled her as she remembered the moment she had felt the old man's life ember go out.

L said nothing for a long beat. Then he murmured, "It's alright." A line formed over his head that did not break. He looked up to meet Jubilee's eyes, and his own were clear. "I saw him, too."

Jubilee stared at him. "You mean...?"

"Yes." The colors above L lightened again and the corner of his lip lifted. "He is happy."

Relief flooded her. She smiled, restraining the urge to throw her arms around L again in joy. Then she frowned. "Something is bothering you about testing the thirteen-day rule," she said. "I'm assuming it's because you saw...the other place."

A shuttered look came across L's features and the colors around him darkened once more. He looked down. "To know that that is the kind of place someone could go to—" he began slowly, a haunted look in his eyes, "I...I do not know if cutting short the time someone has to escape that fate is something that I can still do—even for criminals on death row. And...and that is most likely where they would go, if they were to test the notebook now." He passed a hand over his eyes. "I chose two men who, as far as I can tell, are completely deserving of that fate. They showed no signs of remorse and were completely unrepentant of their crimes. But...even so..." He trailed off, his head lowering further as his shoulders hunched.

"Even so, there's always a chance that that could change," she finished for him quietly. Next to her Hellenos' presence pulsed faintly back into her awareness with an empathetic glow.

L's hands clenched into fists against the floor. "The chances of that happening are one to five percent," he said lowly. "Not everyone is the apostle Paul. But...even if the thirteen-day rule proves to be false, one of those men will still die after being written into the notebook. And after that...he will have no chance left to repent. None at all." He finally looked back up at her. "I don't know if I can stomach facilitating that...not after I've seen and felt exactly what it is like there."

Jubilee gazed at him for a long moment, a tumult of different emotions swelling within her. "See," she said softly. "I told you you have a heart."

He smiled a little at that. "I suppose it just needed to be restarted."

She smiled back. "What will you do, then?" she asked.

His smile dissipated. "I don't know." Slowly he pulled himself off the floor and got to his feet, wobbling as he did so. Jubilee rose too, awkwardly trying to spot him from behind lest he should fall. He either didn't notice, or pretended not to, for he went on, "But I will have to do whatever I must, in order to stop Kira. He is cutting short the chances of _hundreds_ of people...as well as murdering innocents along the way."

Jubilee hurriedly dropped her hands, which had been held out to catch him. "You mean Light is."

L paused at that. "Light is as much a victim of Kira as everyone else," he said finally. A fiery orange undertone lit his features and he bit out in a low voice, "And as despicable of a human being as he is being at the moment, he wasn't always this way. So, there is at least a twenty percent chance that he may revert to how he once was...even if it takes him the rest of his life to do so, in prison," he finished with a scowl.

Rubbing his chest with a grimace, he made his way to the table in the middle of the room where the black notebook lay. Jubilee worriedly followed him, distantly noting that Hellenos' presence had become dim to her once more. The observation was quickly forgotten as L flipped open the back cover of Death Note and began reading aloud.

" _If any person who has written in this notebook fails to consecutively write in it at least once every thirteen days,_ " he murmured, " _Then the user dies._ " He looked to Jubilee. "I don't suppose you could tell if that was a lie simply from me reading it just now, could you?"

She shook her head. There had been nothing over L's head just now, nor had there been anything over Aizawa's when he had first read the rule aloud.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I do know that the shinigami was lying when she said all Death Notes have that rule."

"Hmm." L traced the words with the finger of one hand, while thumbing his mouth with another. Jubilee leaned over his shoulder to scrutinize the rules on the cover as well.

" _Any person who has written in this notebook..._ " she repeated, racking her brain for some kind of clue. She turned to L. "You don't suppose that means someone could write _anything_ down, even if it's not a name—and the rule still supposedly apply to them, do you?"

L lifted his gaze to her. "That...is an interesting idea," he said slowly.

At that moment, the rest of the task force entered the room. All of them wore haggard expressions, and Soichiro was carrying a clear plastic bag that held what looked like gray ash. Light followed behind his father, a mournful look on his face. Catching sight of Jubilee and L standing together at the table, he came straight to them.

"Ryuzaki," he began, taking the detective by the shoulders. The haze of midnight black around him shrank away from the bright colors emanating from L. "Man, am I glad you're okay. But—" His eyes became downcast then. "But, Watari...he didn't make it. I went looking for him and that shinigami as soon as I could, but all I found was..." At this his voice caught, and he shook his head, gesturing vaguely. "My dad will tell you more. We've...we've wrapped up Watari's body and sent for a funeral director already." He lifted his eyes back up to meet L's, looking sorrowful. "I'm so sorry, man."

L's face was completely void of emotion. "My thanks," he said stiffly. "For your heartfelt condolences."

Jubilee watched the line over Light's head snap over and over again during his speech, and felt like she had never in her life wanted to punch someone in the face more than she did right now. But she held her tongue.

Light went on, "I want you to know, Ryuzaki, that I support you, whatever you decide to do next. Aizawa and Matsuda just told me about your plan to test the thirteen-day rule. Even though—even though I'm not completely comfortable about the ethics of it all...I choose to stand by you, Ryuzaki. Consider me on your side."

Again the line over his head snapped violently. Jubilee's eyes narrowed. What was the kid planning now? Behind Light, his father and the other members of the task force, including Matsuda, looked at him admiringly. They were all eating this up.

L's eyes had also narrowed imperceptibly. "Thank you again, Light," he said, shrugging the other boy's hand off his shoulder. "But you all should know that I am having second thoughts about my original plan of how to test the rule."

"Really?" cried Matsuda, sounding caught between surprise and relief. "So you're not going to do it after all?"

"Looks like you came back with some more sense," remarked Aizawa, then caught himself and put a hand behind his head, looking abashed. "I—I _am_ glad you are back," he muttered. The line over his head was straight. Beside him, Mogi and Matsuda both nodded emphatically.

Only Light seemed to pause at L's statement, staring hard at the detective. "I'm glad to hear that, Ryuzaki," he said at last. Jubilee noted with interest that the line over his head didn't break this time. So—he'd rather not have the rule tested after all. "But," Light continued warily, "That doesn't sound like you."

L gave Light a cold look. "Make no mistake—I will do what I have to." He turned to the rest of the task force. "But I want to explore other options, if we can."

Soichiro stepped forward. "I am as relieved as the rest of us are about not using the notebook to cause more deaths, even if it is for the sake of catching Kira," he said. "And, of course, I am glad to see that you are alive and well. But I agree with Light—this seems uncharacteristic of you, Ryuzaki. It makes me wonder if there is either a catch, or..." Here he paused. "Or, if something happened to you while...while you were..." He trailed off uncertainly.

"While I was dead?" said L dryly. He leveled a serious look at all of them. "At some point, we will have a thorough debriefing about exactly what I saw, and you will also tell me exactly what _you_ all saw in Watari's room." He eyed the bag of ash, still in Soichiro's hand, before turning away to pick up the notebook from the table. "But, for now—" He faced them all again, Death Note in hand. "Suffice to say that, after one has literally been to hell and back...one's convictions change." There was a collective stunned silence at this pronouncement, but he went on before anyone could say anything. "Now, I want to address a very interesting point that Miss Amachi has brought up."

All eyes turned to Jubilee.

L opened the book, placing a slim finger to a spot on the back cover. "Miss Amachi has pointed out that this rule addresses someone who has _written_ in the notebook, in general. It does not specify that that person must write a name."

Surprised expressions came over the faces of the task members—including Light. And this time, his was genuine.

Mogi spoke up. "But—but what does it matter, even if that is the case? If you have someone test the rule, even without writing a name, then if that theory is true and the rule is real, that person will still die."

"Correct, Mogi," L said, turning to the other man. "But at least that would rule out a second person definitely dying. You have accurately described the dilemma that remains, however. There is still the matter of the tester _possibly_ dying, which—" He paused, before continuing, "Is not ideal."

"We're talking about a criminal on death row who would be testing it, right?" asked Aizawa. "Hypothetically."

"Correct," answered L.

"And you're saying that it wouldn't be ideal, in your opinion, to risk that criminal dying as a result of testing the thirteen-day rule," continued Aizawa, giving L a dubious look. "Am I getting that right?"

"Yes, Aizawa."

Aizawa turned to Matsuda and muttered under his breath, "Looks like he really _has_ changed."

L graciously ignored the comment and addressed Light, who had been silent this whole time. "What do you think, Light?"

Light raised his eyes to meet L's, hesitating.

"Of our options," L prompted. "And of Miss Amachi's theory that anyone can write anything."

Light slowly stepped forward, taking the notebook from L's hands. "Is that what it says?" he asked, with a tone of just barely hidden reluctance. He glanced down at the back cover, his eyes quickly scanning the words there, before a dark orange glow lit up the black haze around him like angry flames. "So it does," he said evenly.

Jubilee heard a sharp thought projected from somewhere within the fiery haze.

 _That_ _stupid_ _shinigami._

But then, just as quickly, the thought quieted and became calm, losing its tone of fury.

 _This changes nothing._

"I guess," continued Light, with a carefully feigned tone of uncertainty, "That what Julie is saying _could_ be true."

Soichiro and the other members had joined him to look at the book. Aizawa took it from him and flipped to the front cover, scanned its contents, then flipped to the back again and did the same.

"Yeah," he said. "There's no context in any of the other rules that would contradict that possibility."

"Even so, Ryuzaki," said Light, "Mogi is right. This doesn't change the fact that, according to the rule, someone would die if they didn't continue writing in the notebook...which you're now saying you'd rather not risk."

L returned Light's gaze. "Yes," he affirmed, sounding almost unhappy about the fact.

Jubilee finally spoke up. "But how certain are you that this rule could prove to be false?"

L glanced at her. "At least ninety percent," he answered softly. The line over his head was thick and straight, though it wavered very slightly.

"What?" cried Matsuda, just as Aizawa exclaimed, "That's ridiculous!"

"I don't understand how there's even any chance," commented Mogi.

"But—" interjected Matsuda nervously, "If...if Ryuzaki thinks that there might be a chance, then...that's gotta mean something at least, right?"

Soichiro eyed his colleagues, listening intently to their exchange, before taking Light by the arm. "Son," he said, "Can't you think of any other way we can test the rule?"

"Chief!" cried Aizawa. "Are you really buying into this? You know that Ryuzaki wants to do this because the first person it would implicate would be Light!"

Soichiro's brow furrowed, but he didn't look away from his son as he answered Aizawa. "It may do that, but I'm confident that there is some other explanation," he said firmly. "In the meantime, we must be open to uncovering every clue that we can, in order to catch Kira."

Jubilee's eyes remained on L as the other task force members argued around them. She cast a quick glance of scrutiny at the quivering line above his head, then returned her attention to him.

"At least ninety percent, huh?" she echoed quietly. Slowly her lips upturned. "Seems to me like you're being incredibly humble about your deductive reasoning skills."

He stared at her for a second, then the corner of his mouth turned up as well, ever so slightly. "Common sense says to posit at least five to ten percent of a chance that I could be wrong."

"Uh-huh," she said with a grin, then sobered. "Common sense aside...you truly believe that the rule is false. Yes?"

"I'm not sure I can condone the phrase, 'common sense aside'...but, common sense aside, yes. I am sure."

"Guys!" Aizawa was shouting at the others in the background. "I don't know why we're even debating this! It's a complete waste of time. The rule is _in_ the book! _Why_ are we questioning it?"

A brief silence met his outburst, and Jubilee sensed the tide of thoughts in the room ebb uneasily, before they slowly started to turn.

"Aizawa has a point," Mogi began slowly.

She kept her gaze on L. Bright colors were swirling gently around him—a dusty lilac intertwined with cerulean, emerald and gold—and the effect was breathtaking.

 _Love is seeing and believing the best in someone...even when no one else does._

She smiled brightly at him all of a sudden. "Then I believe you," she said. Leaning over him, she reached across the table and grasped the edge of the Death Note, where it lay forgotten behind Aizawa and the others. "Let me see what I can figure out," she said, picking it up.

L eyed her curiously but nodded, his eyes trusting. She opened the book and flipped through a few pages, stepping away to pace the length of the table as she did so. Having distanced herself from the others she looked to her right, where Hellenos was now clearly visible.

"Sorry," she murmured under her breath. "Forgot about you for a minute there, with all the excitement going on."

 _ **Humans,**_ said Hellenos, but grinned. _**Apology accepted.**_

She looked back down at the notebook in her hands. "Hey, Hellenos," she said quietly, fingering a blank page. "You once told me that Kira can't touch me. Isn't that right?"

 _ **Nice to know that you actually remember some of the things I say.**_

"You know something else I remember you saying?" She looked back up at him. "' _Nothing shall by any means hurt you.'_ "

Hellenos crossed his arms. _**That was because you wouldn't take the time to read it yourself.**_

"Read what?" she retorted with a smug smile. "Luke ten-nineteen?"

The angel's lips quirked. _**Been studying, have we?**_

She turned to face him fully. "So what do you say?"

He feigned ignorance. _**What do I say to what?**_

"You know what it is I'm thinking."

Hellenos carefully wiped his face of any expression. _**You have free will. I am not a cheat sheet.**_

"But Luke ten-nineteen and the rest of the book that it comes from is?"

He retained a steady poker face. _**I will neither confirm nor deny whether that statement is accurate.**_

She smirked, then turned to glance back at where L stood. He was still watching her inquisitively. She gave him a tender smile.

 _I believe in you,_ she thought. _Even if no one else does._

Then, quicker than anyone could blink, she snatched a pen off the edge of the table and hastily scribbled three words onto the page before her.

 _Love Never Fails._

The words flashed brightly before her vision like a beacon in the night, just as they did when she had read them on Christine's postcard.

Then the radiant light winked out, as did Hellenos' presence from beside her, as someone's hand clamped down over her own with a vice-like grip. Cries of alarm sounded from around the room and the pen dropped from her fingers to the floor with a clatter. The notebook was torn violently out of her grasp. She looked up to meet a pair of stormy gray eyes.

"What have you done?" said L, in a voice so low that she could barely hear him. His hand was gripping hers so tightly that it was just short of painful.

She could say nothing for a moment, too startled by the intensity in his gaze. "I'm testing the rule for you," she managed at last. "Without killing anyone."

His eyes slid to the open notebook in his other hand, flitting over the three words she had written. It was then that Jubilee noticed Aizawa had a gun pointed at her from across the room, his face pale and his eyes wide.

"Aizawa," barked L without turning around. "Put away your weapon, for heaven's sake. She didn't write down a name. Obviously."

The police officer looked down at the firearm in his hands as though surprised to see it there. He hastily sheathed it.

L returned his attention to Jubilee. His expression had not changed, and the colors around him were dark and had receded into himself. He said nothing.

She fidgeted nervously under his gaze. "In thirteen days," she said quickly, "If I'm still alive, then we have our proof that the rule is fake. Right?"

L stared hard at her for another long moment, before finally releasing her hand and looking away, towards the ground between them. His hair fell forward to hide his eyes. "That is something you should have asked _before_ you wrote in it," he said, his voice deceptively even.

"Why?" she said. "Would you have let me do it?"

L didn't answer for a second. Then, still not looking at her, he grit out, "Why would you do something so reckless?"

"Because I believe in you," she said, somewhat defensively. "Which means I believe what you believe. And you said that you're sure the rule is fake."

At this he looked back up at her, a wave of otherworldly orange and red exploding around him into flames of angry concern. "I also said that we need to allow a five to ten percent chance that I could be wrong!" It was the loudest he had ever raised his voice at her. "What if I've missed something? Do you have _any_ idea the danger you have just put yourself in?"

She stared back at him defiantly. "I trust you," she reiterated stubbornly. "So I trust that I will be fine. Besides...I always am."

The flames melted away from him, to be replaced by a dark, somber blue. L continued to stare at her, looking stricken. He placed the Death Note down on the table behind him and took her by the shoulders.

"You don't understand," he said, his voice low once more. "Even if that rule is fake...you are now in danger."

Jubilee returned his stare with her own, first in stubborn defiance and then, gradually, in confusion. The line over L's head was thick and straight, and a reddish fear pulsed out from the haze of sorrowful blue all around him. She looked up at the other members of the task force, who were all staring at her with equal amounts of concern as well as shock. Light, in particular, wore the expression well. But there was something else in his eyes also. It was a look of rage mixed with resolve. Jubilee gulped then as sudden realization hit her.

In thirteen days, he was going to kill her.

* * *

 **A/N (part 2): Thanks for the wonderful reviews, and a shoutout to reviewers I couldn't reply to:** _Guest, Newest Guest, crazycatlady, LaBloom, madamevaldez1, Rairi Valelira._ **You guys are awesome.** ( _Big Fan!_ If you are out there...I've got a question for you. There was something you shared with me in a previous review that is inspiring in me a possible segment for a story. Before I go too far with that train of thought...may I?)

 **How is everyone doing, now that we have entered the second half of the year? On my end, I have experienced some breakthrough in areas where I previously felt stuck or unresolved. But forward progress is a continuous and sometimes arduous journey—like wading through the mud portion of one of those crazy obstacle course marathons, after someone finally pulled me out of a detour that was full of quicksand (Who _put_ that there?). I'm super grateful for the latter, but some days I'm just like, Is this race OVER yet?! I think you guys know what I mean. **

**In particular I find myself facing relational challenges that remind me of the conflicts among the Death Note Task Force. People are so different, and their brains all work differently and they think differently about the same things. But we are made to be in relationship and community, and so we are meant to be placed with people who are inevitably going to be different from us. And that inevitably brings up struggles and frustrations sometimes (or a lot, *eyeroll*), EVEN when our end goals are actually the same things: Peace. Love. Doing the right thing.**

 **I hope in the community of this story at least, where all of us are different and don't necessarily see eye to eye about every little thing in life, that we can still come together and relate to one another through story. So here's to that, as we all move forward to pursue progress rather than perfection in our lives. And speaking of progress...my goal for the next chapter is two weeks from now. So pray for me on that and let me know how I can pray for you. Until then!~**

 **P.S. For anyone who might bring it up...Yeeeaah I did have to tweak canon a bit. Sorry. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about...Uh, what? Nothing to see here, move along. *whistles***


	36. Chapter 36

_A/N: As requested, another L x Jubilee scene..._

* * *

Chapter 36

It was 2 AM at headquarters. Twelve hours since Jubilee had written in the Death Note.

The Task Force members had stayed up until midnight, debriefing each other on what had been found upstairs in Watari's room, and with L giving everyone a condensed version of what had happened to him on the other side. Jubilee had noticed varying shades of wonder and disbelief flicker between the others during this account, but no one said anything. Perhaps because it was too late to process such claims without sleeping on it first.

L had neglected to mention Light at all. The boy was the only one who emanated neither hues of awe nor skepticism, but instead, fiery rage. But he hid it all under a mask of curious interest, punctuated by perfectly timed lifting of the eyebrows to convey surprise. He said nothing at the end either, simply bade the others goodnight as he and Soichiro took their leave to go home for the rest of the weekend.

Jubilee, too, had neither been mentioned nor addressed by L ever since the incident with the notebook. In fact, he hadn't even looked at her once. She remained at her desk long after everyone else had trickled off to bed, and still he sat there in silence, hunched over in his chair and gnawing on a thumb while deep in thought. Either that, or he was brooding. She wasn't sure which.

On the other side of her, Hellenos wavered in and out of her vision, standing like a still and silent sentinel. But she paid him little attention. Instead her thoughts flitted back and forth between the turmoil of her own misgivings and the storm cloud of distressed colors that were hovering over the detective. The dark, somber blue still had not left him, though the streaks of red were starting to fade slightly.

"So, are you not talking to me anymore?" she finally demanded.

L still didn't look at her, nor did he speak for a long moment. At last, he stated tonelessly, "This is not me giving you the cold shoulder. There is no time for being petty. This," he continued, his voice coming out short and clipped as he scowled around his thumb, "Is me using all the possible brainpower I have available, to come up with a solution to the problem."

She sighed to herself, looking up at the ceiling. "The problem being that I was reckless, I take it?"

"The problem being that Kira is still at large and will now undoubtedly make killing _you_ one of his top priorities," L snapped. " _That_ is the problem, Miss A—" He stopped and finally looked over at her, measuring her with a long gaze. "What do I call you now?" he asked softly. Lilac undertones wisped through the blue around him, making it lighten a shade. "I believe we are past formalities at this point. Yet it seems insincere to call you Julie when we both know that is not your name. At the same time, I obviously cannot call you by your actual name, given the circumstances."

Jubilee shrugged, though her heart beat faster at the sight of bright colors around him. "Call me whatever you want," she said, schooling her tone to sound neutral. "It doesn't matter to me."

He looked at her for a moment longer, his scowl losing some of its severity before it faded altogether. "Well then," he said at last. "How about I call you...J."

She returned his gaze with a blank look as the suggestion slowly registered with her. Then a smile crept onto her lips. "J," she repeated. "I think I like that."

He nodded as though satisfied. "It suits you."

She beamed. "So, does this mean you forgive me?"

He looked puzzled for a split second, then pained. "There was never anything to forgive," he said, turning away again. "You did what you thought was best for the case at the time. I overreacted. What's done is done, and the important thing now is to continue forward in solving the case...as quickly as we can."

Jubilee noticed the darkening blue around him, its lilac streaks replaced by the return of a faint red. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, understanding at last. "You only just lost Watari. I—I didn't even think about...about the added stress that doing something like that might put on you." She felt her eyes sting with moisture as she added sadly, "We didn't even get to give him a proper funeral."

"Watari's remains were sent back to England, where he would have wanted to be buried," said L. "When this case is solved, and only then, will I give myself the luxury to visit his grave and mourn for him. Otherwise, his death will have been in vain, and I cannot allow that to happen."

"No," Jubilee agreed. "We can't." Briefly it occurred to her that his willingness to share the location of Watari's origin was yet another indication of his growing trust in her. Then again, Watari always did have a bit of an accent."If it's any consolation," she went on, "I'm pretty sure that I will turn out fine somehow, one way or another."

L didn't reply immediately. "Perhaps," he said after a moment. "But, be that as it may..." He eyed her sidelong. "A wise man once said, ' _Do not test the Lord your God.'_ "

She snorted. "Oh, if we're dropping Jesus quotes, two can play this game. ' _Nothing shall by any means hurt you.'_ Remember that one?"

He gave her another pained look. "Are you willing to put that to the test?"

"I thought all of us were, when we signed up for this case," she retorted.

He looked away, letting his hair hide his eyes. "But you didn't sign up for it willingly," he pointed out. "I gave you little choice in the matter."

"He _finally_ admits it," she said with a smile. L didn't respond, and she let the smile drop. "Listen, L," she said, rolling her chair closer and leaning forward. "That was back then. Things are different now. Now, I'm willing to put my life on the line...just like you are."

He looked back up and met her eye. "Is that why you wrote what you wrote?" he asked quietly.

She looked at him blankly. "What?"

His expression softened ever so slightly as he continued to hold her gaze. "First Corinthians thirteen," he clarified.

She blinked, then flushed. "Ah, right. That."

He considered her for a moment longer, before quoting softly, " _Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...Love never fails._ " He paused, then added, "Watari used to recite that verse often. I believe it was his favorite."

Jubilee swallowed, feeling flustered all of a sudden."It was well-known back at Wakahisa," she replied, forcing herself to sound nonchalant.

He measured her with a look. "You miss it there."

"I—" she faltered. "It's complicated. I'd...miss it here, too, if I left—I think," she finished quickly, looking away.

"Hmm," intoned the detective contemplatively.

There was an awkward silence, and she tried to think of something else relevant to say. "It was being at Wakahisa...with those kids," she blurted after a moment, "That...that made me first start to understand that verse." _And being here with you that made me understand it completely,_ she thought, but would have sooner crawled into a hole than said it out loud.

Beside her Hellenos glowed more brightly, and it was suddenly impossible to miss the ear to ear grin on his face. She scowled. There was no mental privacy with guardian angels, was there?

 _ **Oh, come on,**_ chuckled the angel. _**We ship you two.**_

 _You WHAT?_ she thought, aghast. _And who's this 'we'?_

 _ **Myself and that other angel over there,**_ answered Hellenos, indicating the space beside L with a wave of his hand. _**I believe you briefly made her acquaintance earlier? Naturally, the two of us are more biased, but I have to say...after the most recent turn of events, your fanbase among the heavenly host is growing.**_

Jubilee resisted the urge to drag a hand down her face. L, unaware of this exchange, was speaking again.

"I never did understand it, when Watari was alive," he was murmuring to himself as he turned away. "Even though he tried to help me to." He looked upwards, and the swirl of color around him suddenly brightened tenfold. "But now I see. Love is...a person." The blue around him turned bright cerulean, laced with soft mauve and a majestic purple, as he continued softly, "One who bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things when it comes to us...and, who never fails us." He turned back to Jubilee then, locking eyes with her. "It is astonishing to think that we are one of the only two people walking this earth who have encountered that person face to face—and lived to tell the tale." His gray eyes were large and round as he gazed at her. "Surely that is no coincidence, is it?"

She returned his gaze. "My friend at Wakahisa used to tell me that coincidences are just blessings shrouded in a veil of worldly logic."

He stared at her for a second, before the side of his lip quirked. "Well said," he replied. "So then it is no coincidence, that Love is also a person that we can become...even if it may take a lifetime's journey to do so."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you saying that we can become God?" _Blasphemy alert,_ she added in her head to Hellenos, who shushed her with a wave of his hand.

"I'm saying, J, that I see why you wrote what you wrote. I believe that you, indeed, will not fail."

She stared at him for a long moment, speechless. "You give me a lot of credit," she said at last. "And I haven't even lived a whole lifetime yet."

At this his lips turned all the way up into a smile. "No, but you're quite a ways ahead of me on that journey, and I don't like to be behind. So...let us hope that I will catch up to you soon, shall we?"

Jubilee paused as his last statement registered with her, and then her jaw almost dropped. _Did he just...? S_ he glanced discreetly at Hellenos. _Is he saying what I think he's saying?!_

Hellenos gestured upwards grandly. _**Annnd the fanbase goes wild,**_ he announced.

Jubilee thought she might keel over from a combination of shock, jubilation and wild hope suddenly bubbling up within her, and fought violently to keep her expression neutral. She coughed, trying to hide the heat rising to her cheeks. "Yes, let's," she managed weakly.

"All that being said," said L, his voice suddenly reverting to a business-like tone as he swiveled around in his seat, "I intend for you to have some help along the way." He hopped out of his chair and onto his feet. "Follow me," he instructed, not sparing her another glance as he made his way over to a filing cabinet in the back of the room.

Jubilee, surprised, hastened to obey. By the time she caught up to him, he had opened a drawer and was pulling something out.

"Here," he said, handing her a laptop. "This is for you."

She looked down at the device in her hands. It was large, with a wide screen, and yet sleek and lightweight. It looked brand new and easily worth several thousand dollars.

"Uh..." She looked back up at him. "Is this a gift?"

His eyes crinkled slightly at that. "That's one way of looking at it." He gestured at the laptop. "This is what you will be needing, to conduct your own secret investigation from your room."

"My own _what?_ "

"Your room, J."

"No, not _that,_ the part before that," clarified Jubilee. "What do you mean, my own _secret investigation?_ "

"You'll still report to me, of course," L went on, strolling past her and back towards the desk. Jubilee followed after him in helpless confusion, the laptop still in her hands. When they reached the desk again, he turned to face her, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "And I will have Aiber and Wedy report to you. They will be at your disposal...since we could use some help."

"L," said Jubilee, her head spinning. " _What_ are you talking about?"

"I am talking about how we will have to be prepared to investigate the upcoming moves that Kira—and whoever he chooses as his new puppet—will make...without drawing attention from the rest of the Task Force. You are perfectly suited to carry this out, under the guise of remaining in the protection of your room. And because you are you."

Jubilee might have flushed at the compliment if her head wasn't spinning so much. "Sorry, wait," she began, rubbing at a temple with one hand. "I need to catch up here. 'Whoever he chooses as his new puppet?' You think Light will pass on Kira's power again?"

"There's a ninety-five percent certainty," answered L, his dark eyes narrowing as colors began to churn over his head. "There have to be at least two notebooks, remember? Maybe more. One is now in the custody of the Task Force. Light knows better than to use the other one and potentially incriminate himself again. But Kira has amassed many devoted followers that he can choose from. Misa was only one of them and, long story short, I believe he's reserved her for another purpose at this time. He can easily find someone else to pass judgment in his place for now."

"So...we're going to figure out who that will be?"

He nodded, but his eyes darkened. "Unfortunately, we won't be able to do so until killings start again. And they will. Then, we will find patterns and narrow down the suspects."

Jubilee hesitated, then nodded. "Okay, next question," she said. "What do you mean, 'remaining in the protection of' my room? Am I being grounded or something?"

L winced and she instantly regretted the jibe.

"J," he began sternly. "Kira is aiming to kill you in thirteen days. Assuming that my hypothesis is correct about the thirteen-day rule being fake—" Here a streak of red fear sliced through the air above L, but his face betrayed none of the emotion, "He will not be able to kill you remotely as he does with his other victims, but will have to do so either directly or through a middle man. Therefore, you need to be kept under lock and key."

Jubilee thought to herself that that sounded even worse than being grounded, but bit her tongue.

"That won't eliminate every possible way of him trying to get to you," L went on, "But it will at least eliminate some."

"Don't you think some of the Task Force members might object over the necessity of such a move?"

"They won't have a say in the matter," said L curtly. "And once they think about it, they'll realize there's nothing for them to lose either way. Except for Light perhaps, but he'll already be anticipating such a move."

"So then what's the point of making it?" she asked flatly.

He gave her a look.

She sighed. "Okay, point taken. No need to make me completely accessible."

L nodded. "Any other questions?"

"Yes." Her brow creased. "You want me to conduct a _secret investigation_ of this person? _What? How_ am I supposed to do that?"

L gestured towards the desk and monitors. "Much like the way you have already been working down here," he said. "Like when you monitored Higuchi and the Yotsuba group." He stepped closer and tapped the laptop beneath her fingertips. "This has access to all public surveillance channels, just like the computers down here. But this time, you will be working from the privacy of your own room so that no one will be able to see who you are monitoring, or hear your respective communications with Aiber and Wedy. You and I will reconvene in the evenings to discuss your findings, after the rest of the Task Force has dispersed."

Jubilee stared at L helplessly. "I'm flattered that you think I can do something like this," she began slowly. "But L...I can't conduct an investigation on my own. I don't even know who or what to investigate."

"Like I said, J, you won't be doing this alone." He met her eye. "You will have Aiber and Wedy. They will be our hands and feet, and you will be our eyes."

"But you're our _brain!_ " she protested. "And I won't be able to communicate with you except in the evenings, or short coded messages via computer, in case anyone is watching you downstairs..." She gesticulated helplessly. "What am I supposed to do by myself in my room if something major happens, and I don't know what to do next?"

L's gray eyes took her in for a long moment. "As I said, J," he said finally, "I will make sure that you have the help that you need...one way or another." At the doubtful look in her eyes, he added, "Trust me."

Her shoulders sagged at that and she slowly nodded. "Alright," she said.

They stood for a moment in silence, looking at each other, Jubilee still holding the laptop.

"Get some sleep," he finally told her in a quiet voice. "We have a long day ahead...or rather, a long thirteen days."

She looked at him, a little wistfully. "Until tomorrow night, then?"

"Yes. And you better grab some food from the kitchen, to have on hand during the day tomorrow."

She bit her lip. It was yet another painful reminder of Watari's absence—no more home-cooked meals from him, or friendly deliveries to her room whenever she missed breakfast or morning tea and coffee.

"What about you?" she asked. "Will you be—do you need anything?"

He turned away from her, back to the desk. "I'll be fine. Just make sure you get whatever you need. Goodnight, J."

She gazed at his back for a long moment. "Goodnight," she said softly, and made her way to the kitchen.

Grabbing a skillet from off the pot rack as she entered, she surveyed the contents of the pantry shelves and then opened to refrigerator to do the same. Her suite had its own kitchen, but she'd never had to use it before. She sighed. The last time she had cooked for herself or for anyone else had been almost a year ago, at Wakahisa.

A glass baking pan on the counter caught her eye. Beside her, Hellenos flickered back into her awareness. She mulled over the items in the fridge, then eyed the baking pan again.

"Say, guardian angel," she said. "How are you with helping in the kitchen?"

The angel grinned.

* * *

It was 3 AM at the Yagami residence. Thirteen hours since Jubilee had written in the Death Note.

Light had been home for two hours and was waiting when Ryuk finally glided into his bedroom.

"What took you so long?" he asked with a glare.

"Oh, just having a little bit of fun," chuckled the shinigami in his usual gravelly tone. He produced a black notebook and handed it to Light with a grin. "Is this what you been waiting for?"

Light took the Death Note that had formerly been his. "Did Misa keep some of the paper like I told her to?"

"Yep. Your little puppet's very obedient, even if she is a bit flighty."

Light sat down at his desk and riffled through the pages of notebook, scrutinizing them as he thought over the plan he had been formulating for the last several hours.

"So," said Ryuk. "What are you gonna do now?"

Light didn't answer, but instead nodded to himself and murmured, "Yes. It should work." Turning to his computer, he pulled up a page on the internet browser.

Ryuk craned his neck to look over Light's shoulder. "Eh? You've got to be kidding me," he said, staring at a forum page full of Kira followers and fan girls. "Are you _checking your likes and follows?_ "

Light gave him a look. "How do you even know that term?"

Ryuk guffawed. "Please! My old man's got a whole department targeting social media." He gave Light a sly look. "I didn't take you for one who cared much about that kind of stuff though."

Light returned his attention to the monitor. "I don't." Scrolling down the page, he clicked on a name. "But, like you, I know how to take advantage of it."

A man's face appeared on the screen, along with his accompanying profile. The name under his picture read "Teru Mikami."

"Kira has amassed enough popularity and allegiance on a global scale by now, that some are beginning to see his way as law," Light explained. "In essence...I have an entire legion of followers at my disposal. So, it is time to use them. I've been researching and evaluating scores of them for the last day and a half, and—" He pointed at Teru Mikami's profile. "This is the man I've chosen to be my weapon."

Ryuk squinted at the picture of a young, black-haired man on Light's screen. "Is that so? And what exactly do you plan for him to do?"

Light swiveled to face Ryuk. He held the Death Note back out to him. "First, I plan for _you_ to write the two fake rules into _this_ notebook as well. And then, you will deliver it to this man...along with a message from me."

The shinigami raised a crooked eyebrow. "What, no 'please'? I'd say you're starting to get a bit bossy with me, human."

"I'll give you a whole bushel of fresh apples."

Ryuk snatched the notebook out of Light's fingers with a cackle and flipped it open with a flourish, brandishing a pen. "Consider it done. What did I ever care for manners anyway?" He began to scrawl onto the back cover.

"And Ryuk..." Light turned back to his monitor, his voice deceptively even. "Even though you failed to copy down exactly what I dictated to you last time, word for word...you better stick to the same wordage that you used, for consistency's sake."

Ryuk feigned confusion. "What do you mean?"

Light's voice took on an icy tone. "I think you know exactly what I mean. ' _Anyone who_ _writes_ _in this notebook'?_ I specifically said 'anyone who writes down a _name._ "

"Oh, come on," scoffed Ryuk, finishing what he was writing and snapping the book shut. "That was only three extra little words! What," He hunched over and leered at Light. "Don't tell me it actually made trouble for you...did it?"

Light grit his teeth. "As a matter of fact, it did. Julie caught on to the vague wording and wrote some nonsense down into a Death Note to test it herself. I imagine that if she had to write down a name, she might have thought twice. But no matter." Grabbing the notebook out of Ryuk's hand, he checked the newly written rules in the back. Satisfied with what he saw, he returned his attention to the monitor, clicking a button on the screen before rolling his chair over to the printer. "I was going to kill her anyway," he continued. "Now, I just have to make sure it happens at the end of the thirteen-day time frame."

"Ohhh?" Ryuk straightened back up. "The marked one wrote in a Death Note? Didn't see _that_ coming."

"Why?" asked Light, retrieving a printed document along with an envelope from his desk. "Will it do anything to her?"

Ryuk shrugged. "Not really. She's marked and she didn't write down a name." He grinned at Light. "Unlike _you_." Light said nothing, and the shinigami continued, "Got to hand it to the little pest though—she's a bold one. So, tell me...how do you plan on killing her, without knowing her name?"

Wordlessly Light handed Ryuk the document he had just printed. Ryuk scanned the letter.

 _Teru_ _Mikami,_

 _I am Kira. Your loyalty to me and your zeal for criminal justice have not gone unnoticed. As a reward, I am choosing you to carry out an important task for me. Within this envelope is a Death Note. It is the tool with which I use to kill, and now I am entrusting one to you. It will prove to you that I am indeed who I say I am. You will use this book to pass judgment in my name, under these instructions:_

 _First, make the deal for the shinigami eyes. My messenger, Ryuk, will explain to you what this means. After that, write down a page of names a day, for three days, in this notebook. I trust your judgment as to who is unworthy to go on living. Then, mail half of the pages in the notebook to_ _Kiyomi_ _Takada, another devoted Kira follower, whose contact information I have enclosed. Construct a fake notebook for yourself to pass judgments in, and communicate whose names you write to Kiyomi, who should then write down the names on the paper from the real notebook. Continue to write only one page per day. Then, send an untraceable email to the Kira Investigation Team asking for a meeting in the Yellow Box warehouse in the east countryside, twelve days from now. Bring the real notebook with you. I will bring the investigation team there and you will secretly look in, see our names, and write them down in the real notebook. You will know who I am because I will be the only one over whom you will see a name but no lifespan._

 _There will be another two people on the investigation team who will have neither names nor lifespans over their heads. Take care not to look directly above their heads. These two are the most dangerous to our cause. For them, this is what you will write—_

Ryuk's bulging eyes became even rounder. He pointed a long claw at a spot in the letter. It was the name, _L Lawliet._

"Kid," he began, "I've got plenty of questions, but first—how did you end up finding out that squirrelly pale guy's name?"

"Oh, it took me be the better part of an hour," said Light with a thin smile, as he pulled out a second Death Note from his desk drawer. "Rem's a very messy writer. Or was, I should say."

Ryuk stared at the notebook in Light's hand, then at Light. "Rem?" he repeated. Then, slowly, understanding dawned on his face. "So...she did the thing, huh? I _told_ her," he muttered to himself, "That loving a human would be the death of her...may she rest in peace." Then he guffawed loudly. "Just kidding! There's no such thing for a shinigami. So!" He waved towards Rem's notebook. "I'm sure you were the clever mastermind behind all of that. Let me see if I can connect the dots here...detective boy was supposed to die, but then he came back, so now you need to kill him again and make sure he stays dead this time, am I right?" He made a face as another realization came over him. "Ugh, another marked one. Shinigami King below, there's two of them together at the same time now. What is this world coming to?"

"He doesn't seem to be able to see what Julie can see," remarked Light.

At this Ryuk turned gleefully on him. "Speaking of which...you must have been simply _furious_ when that all went down," he said, cackling with delight. "Wish I could've been there to see your face."

Light gave him a glare. "I thought you were just unhappy about it."

"I was! But one's got to look for silver linings." Light's glare deepened, which Ryuk ignored, focusing back on the notebook in Light's hand. "How convenient for you though," he chuckled. "Now you get a second chance! Thanks to Mr. Sherlock having such an obvious alias."

"Yes...though even if he didn't, I still would have written down every name in here if I had to." Light looked down contemplatively at the book in his hand. "I have to admit—that was a good strategy he had. I would never have guessed that his alias was his actual name all along." A smile crept onto his face. "In this case, however, it worked to my advantage. His name stuck out like a sore thumb, and all I had to do was a brief internet search of the name right above his to confirm that it was indeed Watari. So, this saves me a lot of time...and now," His smile grew, "I can control the circumstances of L's death." He returned his attention to the shinigami in front of him. "So what do you think, Ryuk? Will those details take effect if Mikami writes them down?"

"For the victim to ' _strangle every female in the vicinity before he sets himself and the building he is in on fire?'_ " Ryuk's lips split into a wide grin. "I'd say that that's almost cheating...but yes. As long as there's a female to strangle, a building to burn, and fuel to light the fire...all the conditions can be met."

"That's what I thought." Light turned back to his desk. "And the Yellow Box warehouse is stocked with plenty of gasoline and other flammable material," he went on, pulling out a pen and notepad. "It won't be hard for a genius like L to find some way to light it up." He smiled. "Perhaps I'll even hand him the lighter myself, before I get out of there."

"Hmm." Ryuk tilted his head in thought. "That's all well and good, Light, but what about you? If you're giving me your Death Note to give to someone else, then you're essentially surrendering it all over again. You'll lose your memories of being Kira and you won't be able to see me anymore, just like last time. Then, your lifespan will show back up over your head and you'll end up like the rest of that lot in the warehouse. Surely you didn't forget about all of that, did you?"

"You're right, I didn't." Light swiveled back around and lifted up his shirt. Tucked into the waistband of his pants was a scrap of paper. "As long as I keep this paper from the Death Note in contact with my skin," he continued, "I'll remember everything."

Ryuk arched a brow. "What, you don't plan on showering?"

Light gave him an annoyed look. "I'll set it on top of my clothes. Every time I change I'll have to pick it back up again, and then I'll remember to carry it with me."

Ryuk threw his head back and laughed. "You really don't miss a trick, do you?" he chortled. "Oh, I don't know if I've had this much fun since the time of Judges. You're cut out of the same cloth as my old man, Light." He grinned. "Well, I guess I've got to thank you...I couldn't have thought up a better revenge to take on the marked one myself—to die at the hands of the man she loves."

This caught Light's interest. "So she does love him."

"Of course she does!" huffed the shinigami. "Even if you couldn't smell it on her like I can, you'd be blind not to notice it."

Light raised an eyebrow. "You can smell when people are in love?"

"Oh, it's disgusting," Ryuk said, with a gagging sound for emphasis. "Don't get me wrong, it's actually rather rare...pure love, that is. Usually there's some form of selfishness mixed in there, which is how I can stomach being around Misa when she goes on and on about you. It also helps that hers is almost pure obsession...my lot like that sort of thing."

"Hmm." Light turned back to his desk, picking up the pen. Flipping open the notepad, he wrote the name _Kiyomi_ _Takada,_ along with a phone number underneath it.

Ryuk had glided over to his side and was looking over his shoulder. "And who's she?" he asked.

"Another devoted Kira follower, like I said in the letter," answered Light, ripping out the page and folding it neatly into four quarters. "And also an ex-girlfriend."

"Whaa?" Ryuk glanced at the boy, his expression caught between surprise and delight. "Misa won't like _that._ "

Light's tone was emotionless and matter-of-fact as he replied, "I'm pretty sure you don't need me to tell you, Ryuk, but I don't particularly care what Misa thinks. I'm not interested in chasing romance, I'm just interested in doing whatever it takes to carry out justice."

"Hmm," Ryuk intoned, cocking his head. "Speaking of not caring about what people who love you think...I do have another question, Light." He glanced at the letter that was still in his hand. "Won't your father...be there at the warehouse, too?"

Light gave the slightest pause before answering, quietly, "Yes."

There was silence as Ryuk waited for him to go on.

Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. "It's certainly not ideal...but after what Julie did, she's left me with no choice." His other hand clenched into a fist. "And she'll die an excruciating death to atone for it. But—" His fingers loosened and he raised his head to look up at Ryuk. "The truth is, this was probably going to happen sooner or later anyway. My dad has always stuck steadfastly to his ideals. He's made it his life commitment to fight crime and injustice. I'll always admire him for that. But, unfortunately, the way he's chosen to do it is not in line with Kira's way...and it's unlikely that he'll ever change his mind." Light took the letter out of Ryuk's grasp, sliding it into the envelope on his desk, along with the folded-up note and the Death Note. He continued, "He has twelve days left to do so though...and if he does, I'll be glad. But I'm not getting my hopes up." Sealing the envelope, he held the package out to Ryuk. "Ready to deliver this? I'll buy you some apples on my way back to work tomorrow, if you do."

Ryuk gave him a long, contemplative look, before a malevolent grin split his face and he reached out to take the envelope.

"You really are my kind of guy, Light," he said, with a gleam in his eye.

Then, he turned and exited out the window, gliding away into the night.

* * *

It was 4 AM at headquarters. Fourteen hours since Jubilee had written in the Death Note.

L sat in the silence of the main room, alone. Thinking.

Slowly, he turned to his computer and moved the mouse, bringing the screen out of its sleep and back to life. He clicked on the email icon. A blank window popped up with a blinking cursor, inviting him to begin typing.

He reached for the keyboard.

 _Dear Roger,_ he began to type. _I trust you have received the encrypted files sent by Quillish when he deleted our data backups here in Japan, upon his passing. As you can see, I have survived; but do not bother to re-send me the files, I have memorized them. We must continue to keep our communication discreet. That being said, I have a request to make._

He hesitated, his fingers pausing in the air over the keys. It occurred to him that this was perhaps the first time in his life that he would be asking for someone else's help as more than just their employer or higher-up.

But, then again, this wasn't his first life anymore. And there were greater things at stake now.

Bringing his fingers down to the keys, he began to type.

 _It concerns my successors..._

* * *

 _A/N pt.2: Fun fact...in the Japanese live action film of Death Note (which is rather good, by the by), Light deliberately writes his father into the Death Note. I was hesitant on letting him let Soichiro die until I remembered that._


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

The sweet smell of baking wafted through Jubilee's room.

Jubilee herself lay sprawled on her side on the couch, her laptop open on the glass coffee table beside her and a headset over her ears. She was staring listlessly at the screen, which was divided between two browsers. One was a video stream of _Kira's Kingdom,_ a talk show hosted by a wildly gesticulating Kira supporter. The other displayed the recipe for a strawberry chocolate cake.

 _ **Fifteen minutes left on the cake,**_ said Hellenos helpfully from where he stood behind the couch.

Jubilee didn't answer. She continued to watch the man on her laptop screen, who was going on and on about the "divine justice" of Kira. She had long gotten tired of rolling her eyes at all he had to say. It had been the same thing over and over again for the last hour, since the moment she'd happened upon the channel after a quick internet search for outspoken Kira supporters. Apparently this guy, Hitoshi Demegawa, was the most outspoken and prominent of the bunch, being a host over at Sakura TV station. Other Kira supporters flocked to his show, discussing it on the internet and sometimes even showing up on the show themselves as guest interviewees.

Currently Demegawa was interviewing a young and shy-looking college student. She had lost a relative in a mugging incident, and thought that Kira was doing far more for justice than the police were. Jubilee noted various shades of fear and nerves hovering over the girl, along with occasional reddish and blueish spikes of hurt and anger. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Demegawa had a smoggy haze about his person that was not unlike the kind Jubilee had seen while monitoring Yotsuba employees, but it still wasn't nearly as dark or dense as Light's and Misa's...which meant that he hadn't taken any lives. Even so, he sure was annoying to listen to.

Jubilee groaned and turned onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"This is useless," she muttered to herself.

 _ **Why do you say that? You've already eliminated two individuals from suspicion,**_ Hellenos pointed out, then added cheerily, _**And it's only two in the afternoon.**_

"Out of a hundred million!" she exploded. "Or whatever the population of Japan is."

 _ **That would be approximately one hundred twenty-eight million,**_ the angel corrected.

"Oh, that's better," she snapped. "And who knows what Light's planning? For all I know, the next Kira puppet could be anywhere in the world." She put a hand over her eyes. "This is hopeless, Hellenos. Killings began, what, almost six hours ago?" She thought back to when several successive _dings_ from the laptop had awoken her in the morning, along with three succinct messages. One was from L: _Killings have begun. Be alert._ Two were from Wedy and Aiber, and said the same thing: _Standing by and awaiting instruction._ She hadn't yet responded to either of the last two.

"At this rate, I'll be dead before I find who we're looking for," she muttered. "And not from the thirteen-day rule, from old age." Removing her hand from her eyes she looked up pleadingly at Hellenos. "I don't know what I'm doing here. A little help, please?"

 _ **I already helped with the cake.**_

Jubilee groaned again and sat up. "What am I supposed to do then, internet stalk every Kira supporter there is and stare at their pictures? And that's assuming the person we're looking for can even be found on the internet! What can I possibly accomplish if I'm cooped up in here?"

He gave her a look. _**You think you'd do something different if you were somewhere else?**_

She slumped over at that. "No."

Another ding sounded from the laptop. She looked up. A message box had popped up on the screen.

 _Please view attached kill stats and research accordingly,_ it said, followed by the letter _L._

Warily, she clicked on the attached file. A long list of names and times appeared before her eyes. After a moment of staring at it, she dropped her head into her hands.

"What am I supposed to do with all this?" she moaned.

Doubtless most if not all the names were of criminals. Beyond that, she could deduce no pattern from them, let alone figure out who might be writing them down into a Death Note from afar.

Taking off the headset with a sigh, she got up from the couch and wandered over to the kitchen, Hellenos trailing after her. Reaching the oven, she crouched down on her heels to hug her knees to her chest, and stared despondently through the glass pane at the rising cake within.

 _ **Now what are you doing?**_ questioned Hellenos.

"The same thing I was doing before," responded Jubilee moodily. "Nothing."

 _ **Ah. Just wanted a change of scenery then, I see,**_ he commented dryly.

"At least this scene has hope," she said scathingly, glaring at the cake.

The angel sighed and looked skywards, crossing his arms but saying nothing.

"You think I'm being overly cynical again," she observed, not looking up.

 _ **Oh, are you the one hearing my thoughts now?**_ he inquired with light sarcasm. When she didn't respond, Hellenos uncrossed his arms and knelt down to crouch beside her, gazing into the oven. After a moment, he remarked, _**You ought to make frosting for it.**_

"I was going to." She gave him a sidelong glance. "Which you should have known already."

He shrugged. _**Just making conversation. I hear that sometimes helps when humans are in a mood.**_

She sighed, resting her chin on her knees. "If only solving this case were as simple as baking a cake," she said, staring forlornly at the dessert. "If only my _life_ were as simple as baking a cake."

Hellenos tutted. _**Don't knock the complexities of baking. The Father is rather fond of it, for one thing. For another,**_ He cocked an eyebrow at her, _**You needed my assistance, remember?**_

"Yeah, yeah, but in the end it's still a clear set of steps and directions," she protested. "You know what your end result is going to be."

 _ **Do you?**_ the angel countered. _**Do you know what the exact response of every taste bud on the tongue, every cell in the body, every synapse that fires off in the brain, will be...for you and for anyone else who takes a bite?**_ Jubilee didn't answer, and he continued, _**For that matter, if you had no access to a recipe—or better yet, if you had no foreknowledge of what a cake should be—would you still have any concept of what your end result would be?**_

Jubilee rubbed at her temples. "We're getting awfully philosophical here, for just talking about cake. What's your point?"

 _ **My point,**_ said the angel smoothly, _**Is that the only difference in difficulty between the two things you are comparing—baking a cake and solving this case—is your perspective, because you happen to have a point of reference for the former.**_

"I think that's an overly simplistic way of putting things," she objected. "The _only_ difference? Having a point of reference makes _all_ the difference!"

 _ **How so?**_

She rolled her eyes. "Having a point of reference means having the experience and knowledge to know what to do," she stated, as though it were obvious. "The _difference_ between baking a cake and solving this case is that I know how to do one, but not the other. And that is a _huge_ difference."

 _ **Hmm.**_ The angel cocked his head at her. _**So, you always knew how to bake a cake?**_

She hesitated. "Well...no."

 _ **You always knew how to do everything that you know how to do now?**_

She gave an exasperated sigh. "No."

Hellenos smiled patiently down at her. _**You know, the difference between seeing through an earthly lens and seeing through heaven's eyes is that the former tends to see only that which was...not that which will be.**_ He gestured at the cake in the oven. _**Right now when you look at this, your brain fires off memories of the past, and you see childhood birthdays and smiling faces at Wakahisa, among other things. But what I see...**_ He paused, and his smile grew wider. _**Well, let's just say that I know you don't yet see what I can see.**_ Jubilee eyed him inquisitively, but before she could question him he continued, _**The same goes for the solving the case. And the same goes for navigating your life—since you threw that into the mix earlier.**_

Jubilee considered his words for a moment. "So...you're saying that you know what's going to happen," she said slowly.

Hellenos shook his head. _**This isn't fortune-telling. Humans have free will, and as such, they can alter the course of history. But what**_ _ **is**_ _ **, is. Do you understand?**_

"No," she said flatly.

Hellenos sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. _**Earthly language is such a nuisance sometimes,**_ he muttered. _**What I mean is this...there is no time in the Father's realm. A king is a king, whether he was just born on earth or is taking his last breath. And you, Jubilee, are who you are, and always were...no matter what point of your earthly journey you were on. Likewise, justice is justice...and the end of time will make that very clear.**_

Jubilee stared silently at the cake for a long time. "I think...I get it," she said at last, quietly. "Kind of."

A _beep_ went off above the oven, signaling the end of the timer.

 _ **Cake's done,**_ said Hellenos cheerfully.

Jubilee grabbed an oven mitt and started to open the oven. At the same time, a soft, repetitive buzzing began to sound from the living area. It was coming from her headset.

 _ **You're getting a call,**_ Hellenos informed her.

"What—?" murmured Jubilee in bewilderment, caught between the sudden wave of heat that was hitting her in the face and the realization that she still needed to turn the oven off. Of all the times for L to be calling her. She didn't even know she could _get_ calls.

Hurriedly she reached out to turn off the oven with one hand, yanked the door open wider with the other, and pulled out the baking pan, getting ready to set it atop the stove to cool. In her haste, however, the pan started to slip from her grasp as she was lifting it out.

"Eek!" she cried, instantly anticipating the hot pan hitting her toes.

Hellenos stopped the slipping cake with a bare finger, pushing it back into her hand. _**Honestly,**_ he said, shaking his head with a smile. _**The number of times I've had to do something like that, ever since you learned how to walk.**_

"Thanks," she said breathlessly, setting down the cake and then dashing over to the laptop. Slipping the headset back on, she hit the _Accept_ button.

"Yeah?" she said, panting. "I mean, hey. What's up?"

There was a crackly pause on the other end of the line, and the screen showed that a connection was in progress to receive an incoming image.

"Hello?" she said nervously. "...L? Is that you?"

A white screen appeared, with only a lone letter at its center. It was an N.

"Hello," said a distorted voice through her headset. The voice was being filtered through a voice changer. "You must be Miss J."

Jubilee stared at the screen for a long moment. "Um—what?" she finally managed.

"I am known as Near," continued the voice in a patient tone. "You may address me as such, or as N, whichever you prefer."

"Uh..." Jubilee continued to gape at the letter on the screen in bafflement. It occurred to her that it was written in the same bold, elaborate font as L's, whenever he made outgoing calls. _I will make sure that you have the help that you need,_ he had said to her. Was this what he had meant?

"Just—just J, is fine," she stuttered. "Or...or even Julie. Whichever is fine."

"Very well, Miss Julie," said the voice after a brief pause. "I have been briefed on all the details of the case. Ryuzaki—" The name was spoken with a slow, nearly imperceptible hesitation, "Has requested for me to assist you as needed."

"Ah." Jubilee cleared her throat. "That's very—ah—that is...Thank you."

"As such," continued Near, graciously ignoring her lack of eloquence, "I have spent the last eight hours gathering additional intel, and narrowed down our potential suspects of who the new hand of Kira is to two individuals. Please stand by as I forward their information to you."

Jubilee could only nod in speechless wonder, remembering too late that the person on the other end of the line couldn't see her, before a series of bright _ding_ s heralded incoming documents, pictures, and several video files.

"The first suspect is Teru Mikami," Near went on. "And the second is Kiyomi Takada. Both are relatively vocal Kira supporters who have made guest appearances on the TV show _Kira's Kingdom._ You will find attached files of their interview footage. Please use your ability to view the footage and tell me what you find."

She reached forward to click on an attached video. "How—how did you manage to narrow the suspects down to only two?" she wondered aloud, as the footage began to play. She lowered the video's volume so that she could continue to hear Near speak, making a mental note to watch it more thoroughly later. Onscreen, a young man with black hair reaching his shoulders sat opposite Demegawa, calmly nodding and giving answers to the other man's questions.

"Long story short, Miss Julie, I have deduced that Kira can only choose someone who is clearly his supporter, and out of those supporters who have clearly proclaimed themselves as being on his side, these two individuals are the ones who think the most like him. If you evaluate the attached material, I believe you will agree."

Jubilee squinted at the man onscreen. There was a smoggy haze over him, along with a sinister, Cheshire-cat like grin hovering above his head that made her feel exceptionally queasy.

 _Haven't seen that one before,_ she thought to herself. Hellenos, who had glided over to stand beside her again, nodded in agreement.

Still, though, it wasn't the same black haze that hovered over Light.

"This guy definitely has issues," she affirmed to Near. "But isn't this footage from before this morning, when the killings started again? I've only been able see if someone has committed murder after they have done so."

"I'm aware of that, Miss Julie," answered Near. Though the voice sounded robotic and metallic through the filter, its tone seemed to hold no reproach. "Please proceed to the next video and let me know what you see there."

Jubilee did so. The next video began to play, showing grainy public security footage of Teru Mikami walking through a downtown street, dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. The date in the bottom left hand corner indicated that it was from today around noon. Mikami must have been on a lunch break from work. This time, the smog around him was black as pitch. Briefly it sharpened into the distinct forms of dozens of knives, before settling back into a rolling haze. Jubilee felt bile rise in her throat.

"It's him," she whispered. "He's definitely the one." Closing the video, she took a deep breath to collect herself. "Near, you're amazing," she told the N still displayed on her screen. "You found the new hand of Kira in less than a day of him being appointed."

"Some credit is due to you, Miss Julie, as I could not have confirmed my suspicions without your abilities," pointed out Near. "Now, would you please proceed to the videos of Miss Kiyomi Takada?"

Jubilee quirked an eyebrow at the screen, even though she knew Near couldn't see her. "What for? We already found who we're looking for."

"I like to cover all my bases," said the metallic voice. "If you would indulge me."

She shrugged, clicking on the next video. "Alright, if you insist."

A video popped up of a pretty young woman sitting across from Demegawa. She had short brown hair, large dark eyes, and a calm demeanor. A cold, stormy gray hovered around her, along with occasional streaks of red that flashed like lightning. Unlike L's previous haze of gray, this one showed little color or warmth beyond the angry red.

"Someone who I wouldn't want to be friends with," Jubilee commented, clicking on the next video. "But not a killer, as of this interview."

The next video was public security footage again, and it showed Kiyomi Takada walking onto the campus of To-Oh University at noon today. There was nothing different about her from the previous video that Jubilee could see.

"I think she's clean," she said. "I don't see anything different. Though...it's an interesting coincidence that she goes to the same university as Light. If it's a coincidence."

"Hmm," the filtered voice hummed. "Even if it was, he would most likely take advantage of it."

"Huh? Who, Light?" asked Jubilee. "What do you mean?"

"Perhaps it is too early to say," said Near dismissively. "Thank you for your observations, Miss Julie. They have been quite helpful. I think you know who to have our associates monitor now, yes?"

"Huh?" said Jubilee a second time, feeling stupid. Then she remembered. "Oh, right. Aiber and Wedy. Yes, I'll let them know about Teru Mikami. Thank you...Near."

"I will continue to investigate on my end, and report to you anything I find," the voice went on. "Anything else before I go for now, Miss Julie?"

Jubilee paused as a thought occurred to her. "I—I didn't give a lot of explanation just now, of what I saw," she began. "But...you seemed to just take my word for it." Another pause, as Near waited for her to go on. "That's...new," she finished lamely.

"You are wondering why I didn't question you more, or show skepticism," Near surmised.

"Well, yeah," said Jubilee. "I mean...I suppose L gave you the basic lowdown about me, but still. Most people would ask more questions."

There was a moment of silence, as Near probably considered rebuking her for not referring to the detective by his alias. Finally he said, instead, "I am not most people, Miss Julie," and for the first time since their conversation began, the robotic voice sounded a touch petulant. "I ask plenty of questions, but only the ones that are actually important. Ryuzaki has made it clear that you are trustworthy, both in terms of character as well as ability. To question either would be a waste of valuable time at this point, and only produce the fruit of contention between us. As Watari used to say, 'A house divided cannot stand.'"

Jubilee stilled. "You knew Watari?"

A pause on the other end of the line. "Yes," answered the voice, and for a split second Jubilee could distinctly hear, through the robotic filter, the boyish voice of a child who was unused to sadness. "As did you, I understand."

"Yes," she answered softly.

There was another pause. "One day, Miss Julie, when this case is over," began the voice again, reverting to a brusque tone, "Perhaps we shall be able to discuss such matters at more leisure, if we have the pleasure of working together again. For now, let us focus on the case at hand...since we only have twelve days left to solve it."

"R-right. Of course," Jubilee stuttered. How was it that this kid—for she knew now that he could be no more than twelve or thirteen—was far more verbally competent than she was? Awkwardly, she added, "That would be cool...to work together again in the future."

"Then you will have to stay alive, Miss Julie," said Near matter-of-factly.

Unexpectedly, Jubilee laughed. It was macabre, perhaps, but somehow it struck her as funny. Maybe it was because of all the stress from the last forty-eight hours, but once she started laughing, she couldn't stop.

"Very well, Near," she said through giggles. "I'll do my best."

Near paused on the other end of the line again, as though unprepared for such a positive reaction. "I hope you will," he said at length.

In that instant, in her mind's eye, she caught a glimpse of a straight, strong line, hovering above a small head of tousled white hair.

* * *

It was past nine o' clock when Jubilee slipped into the main room downstairs, a tin-foiled baking pan in her hands. Hellenos glided in alongside her and took up position in a corner of the room. She approached L, who was sitting at his desk and busily typing away.

"Evening, J," he said without turning around. "I see you got my message."

"' _Coast is clear?'_ " quoted Jubilee, reaching his side. "Yeah, you sure know how to be concise." She set the baking pan down next to him and removed the aluminum foil, revealing a cake topped with chocolate frosting and strawberry slices. "Here."

L glanced down at the dessert and became instantly still, his fingers freezing over the keyboard and his eyes growing owlishly large. "What is that," he stated evenly, bright colors dancing around him.

"It's a cake, obviously," she replied, arching a brow at him. "A strawberry chocolate cake, to be precise. I heard you like strawberries, and everybody likes chocolate...so."

"Where did you get it from?" he asked, still staring at the cake.

"What do you mean, where did I _get_ it from?" she said, annoyed. "I _made_ it, obviously. How else would it be here?" She dropped into her seat with a huff. "Honestly, for being the greatest detective in the world, you're acting a little dense. What's the deal?"

L didn't answer her, but instead reached out and scooped a dollop of icing—along with a strawberry slice—onto one finger, and popped it into his mouth. Slowly a smile formed on his lips. He gazed appreciatively at the cake again, and the briefest flash of a rosy pink hue colored the air around him for a second. Jubilee barely refrained from a sharp intake of breath before he looked up at her, and the color instantly disappeared—along with any momentary hope she had felt.

 _Great,_ she thought to herself, restraining the urge to roll her eyes.. _The closest he's ever come to falling in love so far is with a dessert._

"Like it?" she asked dryly.

"It's excellent," stated L. "I insist that you split it with me so that you can enjoy it as well. Well, only if you can eat half." He thought about it for a second, then amended quickly, "Just have a slice or two for now, then, and I'll finish what you can't. Or have as much as you like, we'll work it out as we go. Would you be so kind as to get plates and utensils from the kitchen, please? Or just utensils—we can eat straight out of the pan...I really am not particular."

Jubilee stared at him as he finished this rapid fire speech. Lights and colors were dancing excitedly all around him. She started to laugh.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so enthusiastic," she commented.

"It's been a very long three days," returned L. "Besides...this will be the first cake I've had since my return to life."

"Ah." She smiled at him. "So, in a way, it's kind of like birthday cake."

He gazed back at her. The colors around him brightened a touch. "Yes," he said softly. "I suppose it is."

A warm finger pressed her temple then and an image filled her mind. It was of a young L, seated at a dining table in front of a tray of cake with four candles stuck in it, smoke drifting from the wicks to indicate that they had just been blown out. In front of L a younger looking Watari stood, smiling broadly as he cut a slice and slid it onto the plate in front of his charge. L gazed down at the slice, his eyes round. It was the first cake he had ever had...and it was a strawberry chocolate cake.

The little boy looked up at the older man and, for the first time in his life, beamed.

The image faded and Jubilee glanced up to meet the warm gaze of L's guardian angel, who withdrew her hand and gave Jubilee a grin and a thumb's up, before gliding back over to L's side and dissolving from view.

 _ **Told you strawberry chocolate was the right choice,**_ called Hellenos from the corner.

Jubilee swallowed back a sudden swell of emotion and looked down at L. He was still gazing up at her. Cerulean and mauve swirled around him, flecked with golden undertones. She stared. _Mauve...could it be..._

"J?" he said quietly.

"Y-yeah?" she stuttered, her heart hammering.

He cocked his head at her. "Shall one of us get utensils, or are we going to eat this with our hands?"

She snapped back to her senses. "Oh. Uh—right. I'll be right back." Turning, she fled to the kitchen, ignoring the soft chuckles coming from Hellenos' corner.

"Do make it quick," L called from behind her. "This cake won't eat itself."

She returned shortly with plates, forks and a knife. Wordlessly she cut a slice and set it onto a plate, handing it over to him.

"Happy return to life, L," she murmured.

His fingers brushed hers as he took the plate. "Thank you, J." Without further ado, he dug in.

In moments the slice was gone. He reached out to get himself another slice, and then stopped to give her an inquisitive look. "Aren't you going to have any?"

She gawked at his empty plate. "Uh..."

"You really should at least try some, seeing as how you spent a good portion of the day on it," he pointed out, cutting a huge slice and sliding it onto his plate, before cutting a smaller slice and depositing it onto hers. "Here," he said, pushing the plate over to her. "The sugar rush will help keep you awake for our debriefing session."

She shook her head, bewildered. "I'm pretty sure the surreal shock of witnessing you scarf down a whole slice in a nanosecond will be enough to keep me awake," she said as she took the plate, then paused. "Wait a second—how do you know how long I spent on it? I _did_ get some case work done, I'll have you know."

"I know," said L, wolfing down his second slice as he turned back to his computer. "Wedy and Aiber have already informed me that they are now investigating one Teru Mikami, and I also received a thorough status report from Near earlier. But, to answer your question, I know that it takes a minimum total of two hours to prepare this cake, including baking time, chilling the icing, and slicing strawberries. Add to that the fact that, one, you have not had to cook or bake for the last nine months—and thus probably had to look up a recipe as well as work at a slower pace—and two, that you were likely experiencing debilitating stress and confusion before Near contacted you...and I estimate that the time was almost double for you."

She clenched her jaw, irked by his accurate assessment of her slow baking abilities, and decided to change the subject. "Right, so...about Near. You going to tell me about him?"

"What is there to tell?" said L around a mouthful of cake. "He is an associate of mine." The line over his head wavered but did not break.

She crossed her arms. "An 'associate' who is merely a child?"

He stopped chewing then and looked at her. "How could you tell his age? Did Near deign not to use a voice changer? That is very unusual for him."

At that moment a buzz sounded from the computer monitor in front of him. He turned to it. The words on the screen read _Incoming Call - N._

"Interesting timing," murmured L, grabbing a pair of headsets and handing one to Jubilee before slipping his on. He clicked _Accept._ "Good evening," he said into the headset, then promptly added, "We were just talking about you."

The _N_ from before appeared on L's computer screen. Jubilee slipped on her headset just in time to catch the end of a crackly pause.

"Greetings, Ryuzaki," said the filtered voice slowly. "And...Miss Julie as well, I presume."

"Hi again," said Jubilee shortly.

There was another brief pause. Then, "It is an honor to finally be speaking with you, Ryuzaki."

Jubilee turned to gawk at the man beside her. "You two have never spoken before?!"

L's attention was back on his cake. "Not directly," he answered in between bites.

"But—but—" She turned back to stare at the _N_ onscreen, then rubbed at her temples. "Okay, I'm lost. You call him your 'associate' but you've never spoken directly before? And you just said that it's unusual for him not to use a voice changer. How would you know that if this is your first time speaking with him?"

L gave her a sidelong glance. "I have some questions of my own. Like how you are aware of his age, when he apparently is indeed still using a voice changer. Unless, he did not do so when you two conversed earlier."

"Oh, he was using a voice changer alright," said Jubilee, crossing her arms again. "I could just tell that he's a kid. Like the same way I can tell that, when you call him an 'associate,' there's more to it than that," she added, giving a pointed look at the space over L's head.

From Near's end of the line, there came only a slightly staticky, perplexed silence.

L sighed, putting down his fork. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised anymore by you and your perceptive abilities. Very well. I suppose some more thorough introductions are in order, which I often forget is the social norm. If you don't mind my sharing with her, Near?"

"I trust your judgment," said the metallic voice.

L turned to Jubilee and began to explain, "Near comes from the same place that I did, and is one of several candidates up for the position of succeeding me as L, when and if something should happen to me. As such, I keep tabs on him and the others, to evaluate how they conduct smaller-scale cases."

Jubilee took a good three seconds to process this information. "So he's like...your heir?" she said slowly.

"Successor would be a more accurate term."

She gave him a long, hard look. "You have...successors," she stated with incredulity.

He calmly returned her stare. "Yes."

"So...he's like the Robin to your Batman?"

There was a brief silence, before Near's robotic voice slowly asked, "Who is Batman?"

L gave her a blank look. "I still don't get that reference, J."

 _ **I do,**_ offered Hellenos, raising his hand from where he stood.

Jubilee ignored the angel. "Success _ors?_ " she repeated, furrowing her brow. "Wait, so—there's more than one?"

"Well, now that you mention it..." L gulped down another bite of cake. "I was rather surprised that Near alone contacted you. At first I assumed that he was simply acting as the spokesperson for the two of them, but his report made it clear that that was not the case." He sat back in his chair and frowned. "I can't say I'm very pleased, Near...I made a strong implication from the beginning that the two of you ought to work together."

Jubilee's brow furrowed even further. "The two of _who?_ " she demanded.

"I am aware of that, L," answered Near. "And I was willing to do so. But, as I already mentioned in my report, that willingness was not mutual and he has deigned to leave the premises altogether without any further discussion."

Jubilee glanced over at the screen in confusion, then back at L. " _Who_ are you guys talking about?"

L swallowed a last bite of cake and opened his mouth to answer her, when the large screen on the wall in front of them suddenly crackled and went white. A loud static sound buzzed through their headsets, drowning out the connection with Near.

Jubilee went similarly pale. "What's happening?" she asked, alarmed. "Have we been hacked?"

L had also tensed, but then relaxed after a moment. He slid a thumb into his mouth and gazed at the screen as though waiting.

"L?" She turned to him. "What's going on?"

The screen crackled again and then a large, bold-faced _M_ appeared.

"Ryuzaki," said a new voice through the headsets. It was a boy's voice that sounded no older than fifteen and held the low edge of someone who had just made it out on the other side of puberty.

Jubilee gaped at the _M._ It was the same font as Near's and L's. "What in the—" she began.

The voice continued, smugly, "Mello here, reporting in. Sorry I'm late."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Jubilee continued to gawk at the large _M_ on the screen.

"Good of you to join us, Mello," greeted L dryly. "Though, before we go any further—you seem to have cut Near out of the conversation."

"Yeah, yeah," said the boy, his voice flippant. "I was making an entrance, and the little twerp could use being knocked down a peg or two." His tone became slightly more respectful as he added, "But I'll fix it, sir. One moment."

The screen fizzled again for a second and the headsets crackled. Jubilee glanced over at L and whispered, "So...that's your other successor?"

"Yes."

"And...is this your first time speaking directly with him, too?"

"Yes."

She shook her head in bewilderment. "The three of you sure know how to get right down to it."

"Time is of essence, J. Speaking of which, we haven't even begun discussing the case yet."

The monitor on the wall brightened and two separate windows popped up, one displaying the _M_ and the other the _N._

"Near," L spoke into his headset again. "You're back on the line."

Near's metallic voice answered flatly and without any preamble. "Mello's here now, isn't he."

"Greetings to you too, twerp," said Mello in answer. "Still using a voice synthesizer to mask the fact that you're barely four feet tall?"

"It's just a precautionary measure," answered the other boy tersely. "Which you could use more of. Where have you gone off to, anyway?"

"Like you care."

"Clearly you are wherever you are because you are trying to get ahead of me on solving this case, and seeing as how I am a part of this case now and we should be working together, yes, I care."

"I'm talking with your stupid face right now, aren't I? So technically we _are_ working together."

"You aren't talking to my face at all, because you've outright _left_ the premises."

"What, did you want me to stay around and hold your hand?" Mello sounded like he was sneering. "Working together doesn't mean I have to be hip to hip with you."

"Nobody would want to be hip to hip with you, Mello."

L cleared his throat. The air around him throbbed tangibly, like there was a headache forming in his skull. "Mello, meet J," he interjected smoothly before the older boy could respond with a retort, and gestured at Jubilee with a meaningful look.

"Hi Mello," she said hastily. "Um—you can call me Julie if you like."

Mello paused in whatever snappy remark he was about to make. "Hey, J," he greeted. "You're the one who sees stuff, huh."

Jubilee sighed. "That would be me." She turned to L. "So, is this the whole gang? J, L, M and N?" Pausing to glance at the screen, she lifted a brow and added wryly, "We've skipped K."

"There is no K," said L tiredly.

"Sure there is, it comes right after the letter J."

He gave her a look.

"You know, like _JK_ ," she said innocently. "Just _kidding._ "

 _ **Don't think he gets that one either, Jubilee,**_ piped up Hellenos again from his corner.

She sighed at the blank—and somewhat irritated—look on L's face. "Never mind," she said. "So, is that all of them? Or do you have any more surprises up your sleeve?"

"I hope not," muttered L, rubbing at one temple. "But—"

"Matt," spoke up Near in a calm voice, "You're here too, aren't you."

There was a moment of silence. " _Who_ now?" questioned Jubilee. L had put one hand over his eyes.

 _This is why I work alone,_ she thought she heard drifting from his mind.

"Shut up, Near," said Mello.

"There's no use keeping quiet," Near continued, ignoring the older boy. "I know Mello isn't skilled enough to hack into a high security network like Ryuzaki's without your help, so you might as well speak up."

Another moment of silence, and then the large screen flickered once more. A third window popped up alongside the other two letters, this time with a lowercase _m_ in the center.

"Yo," said another boy's voice.

"It's just like you to tattle, you little twerp," Mello was seething. "This is why I can't stand you."

"'Tattling' is not the same as being transparent," responded Near without missing a beat. "Which is another thing you could use more of, if you have any hope of us working together successfully."

"I never _wanted_ to work together with you!" the other boy bellowed.

Jubilee's mind was working on overdrive to process everything that was happening. This was like Wakahisa on Adderall and steroids combined—and it had been a long time since she had played mediator between children and teens. Furthermore, it was the _first_ time she had ever dealt with ones who were way smarter than her. L also seemed ill-equipped for this scenario, judging by the grimace on his face. She took a deep breath and tried to think of something pacifying to say, but before she could, the third boy spoke up.

"I'm Matt," he said plainly, cutting off the argument between the other two. "Nice to finally meet you, Ryuzaki. And you, J." His tone sounded almost bored, but Jubilee could detect a slight calculative edge to it, like he was used to breaking up fights behind the scenes.

"Likewise," she replied quickly. "You can call me Julie if you like." Realizing belatedly that he had probably already heard her say that the first time, she finished lamely, "Or—uh, whatever."

"Sure, Jules," said Matt casually, before addressing L. "Well, this is all of us, boss."

"Matt," began L sternly, "I never said you could work on this case."

"Yeah, I know," admitted the boy. "And I wasn't going to, really. But Mello needed some backup and talked me into it, and I was bored."

"'Bored' is hardly the right attitude to have when entering a life-threatening investigation," responded L, coppery wisps flurrying around him with increasing irritation. "You are not ready for this case, Matt."

"And besides, we can't have two M's," quipped Jubilee. "That wouldn't make any sense."

L shot her a hard look, the copper color turning bronze.

Matt actually chuckled. "I like you, Jules. Not enough to change my name though."

"Ryuzaki," interrupted Mello. "You've seen Matt's hacking abilities first hand now. You know that that can be a valuable asset to this case."

"This is not up for discussion, Mello—"

"I agree," said Near's metallic voice. "With Mello."

There was a pause and Jubilee sensed a small spike of irritation in the air from Mello, but he said nothing.

"Wow, the world must be ending," deadpanned Matt.

Despite the absurdity of the whole situation, Jubilee felt her lips quirk. She knelt down beside L's chair, putting a hand over the microphone of her headset.

"You know," she whispered, "It can't hurt to have more help."

L eyed her warily and hit the mute button on the call. "Not you too," he said sharply, not bothering to lower his voice.

"I'm just saying." She shrugged. "The more the merrier, right?"

He gave her a flat look. "If we're going to flippantly bandy about cliches, then my response to that is that there are already far too many cooks in the kitchen."

She smiled, thinking back to some of her more hectic yet laughter-filled days at Wakahisa. "But that's when cooking gets fun _,_ " she said innocently.

L did his best to look severe. "This is the Kira case. It's not supposed to be _fun._ "

"Please, the only reason you solve cases in the first place is because you find them fun."

He opened his mouth to deny this, then shut it again, narrowing his eyes at her. "There's no use lying to you, is there."

Her smile grew wider. "Nope."

The colors around him softened a touch. He drew in a longsuffering sigh. "This calls for more cake," he muttered, reaching over for another slice with one hand while unmuting their headsets with the other. "Matt," he announced, tone aloof, "You're on the case."

"Thanks boss," said Matt, a lazy grin evident in his voice. "Don't worry about evaluating how I do in the running to be you, though. Those other two can fight it out. I'm good."

L was unamused. "If those other two die, then you're next in line."

Matt was momentarily sobered. "Right," he said gravely. Then, "Mello, Near...don't die, please. I'm really more cut out to be a sidekick, you know?"

Mello snorted. Though Jubilee couldn't see it, she sensed Near smile slightly. She thought to herself that she hadn't felt this at home since Wakahisa.

"Now that all of that is finally out of the way," L's voice interrupted her thoughts, his tone curt as he took a large forkful of cake and held it aloft, "Let's discuss the case."

The air tensed as everyone became more serious, and Jubilee felt all three boys on the other end of the line snap to full attention.

"Yes, boss," she said, along with the three of them.

* * *

It turned out that Mello had been gathering intel of his own during the course of the day. Or rather, he had assigned Matt to. Under Mello's instruction, the hacking prodigy had somehow tapped into Light's personal phone line.

" _Isn't that illegal?" Jubilee had wondered aloud._

" _Yeah, so is killing thousands of people with some devil book," Mello had snorted in response._

" _I guess we crossed that line too back when Wedy and Aiber were first employed," she mused thoughtfully._

" _I'm just following orders here," said Matt in way of explanation. "And I don't get out much, so the whole legal, illegal thing...never really thought about it."_

" _It's definitely illegal," pointed out Near matter-of-factly, though not necessarily in a condemning tone, until he added, "And someone in the running for Ryuzaki's position should be aware of those lines, regardless of whether or not he chooses to cross them."_

" _That's what you're for, short stack," returned Matt amicably._

" _Yeah, to know it all," muttered Mello._

The impending argument had been quickly shut down by L, who—whilst stress-eating his seventh slice of cake—instructed his successors that what was done was done, and that what should be done now was to focus on the evidence at hand. Which led to the interesting bit of information that Mello and Matt had discovered earlier, which was that Kiyomi Takada was Light's ex-girlfriend...and that he had called her up over the weekend to ask her out on a date this week.

" _What!" Jubilee had exclaimed. "Oh boy, Misa won't like that..." She turned to L. "What is he thinking? This definitely looks suspicious for both him AND Kiyomi."_

" _Well—" began L slowly._

" _Misa," repeated Matt to himself. "Ohhh yeah! She's that dumb blonde chick."_

 _Jubilee involuntarily bristled at the insult to her former friend. "Hey, listen here, kid, you don't even know her—"_

" _We know that she's the second Kira," Mello cut her off. "So we've tapped her lines too. And yeah, judging from hours of listening to her talk...she IS dumb."_

" _Kind of cute, though," offered Matt thoughtfully. "Have you guys seen her in the August issue of_ Eighteen _?"_

" _Yes," answered both L and Mello, at the same time that Near said, "The what?"_

 _Jubilee was getting increasingly annoyed. The memory of what L had thought of Misa in the August issue of_ Eighteen _was one that she remembered perfectly well. She grabbed at the new slice of cake that L was currently cutting for himself. "Give me some of that," she snapped, taking the piece for herself. Gulping down a huge bite, she swallowed and grit out, "Can we get back on topic, please?"_

 _L—looking vaguely chagrined—opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted again, this time by Mello. "Oh, right," said the boy, ignorant of Jubilee's mounting impatience. "I was saying that I can hardly believe someone that stupid was the second Kira."_

 _Jubilee fought between feeling defensive on the other girl's behalf and relieved that they were no longer discussing her physical appeal. L, noticing her ire, cut in smoothly, "Which, I was trying to say earlier, is possibly why Light is wanting to replace her with Kiyomi Takada."_

 _This caught Jubilee completely off guard. She whirled to the detective. "What?!"_

Apparently, Light had already anticipated looking suspicious. Earlier that day, Light himself had declared to the Task Force that he suspected a certain Kiyomi Takada of being the new hand of Kira, or at least _connected_ to the new hand of Kira in some way, based on what he'd seen from researching outspoken Kira supporters—and from the little he knew of her back when they happened to go out briefly. This last bit of information had shocked the other Task Force members at first, before they readily accepted Light's explanation that he planned on taking advantage of this coincidence by asking her out again, in order to investigate her while undercover. L played a short clip of this entire conversation to Jubilee and the three boys, having discreetly recorded it earlier using the many surveillance and monitor cams throughout the room.

" _You're sneaky," Jubilee muttered under her breath, watching the recording of Light. The line over his head was straight the entire time that he spoke, although it wavered._

 _L shrugged. "They know this entire building is under heavy surveillance. I never said I wouldn't record our sessions. I'll be forwarding this to you as well, to survey more thoroughly on your own time. Anything of note that you can see now?"_

 _She turned to him. "Looks like he's purposely revealing his hand, or at least some of it. He's technically not lying."_

 _Near spoke up. "It must be to divert attention from Mikami."_

" _Thank you, Captain Obvious," snapped Mello. "But that can't be the only reason."_

" _Possibly," corrected L. "We need to be clear on what is definite and what is just a possibility, even if the odds are high."_

" _They_ _are_ _high," insisted Mello, his tone surly._

" _That still doesn't make it definite," Near pointed out._

 _Jubilee jumped in before Mello could jump down Near's throat. "So you think it's possible that Light will reveal his identity as Kira to Kiyomi, and team up with her somehow?" she asked L._

" _Anything is possible," answered the detective with a shrug. "That scenario certainly is, although the details of how it could unfold would be complex. For one thing, Light cannot easily reveal himself to her, because he himself has suggested bugging the room whenever they meet. It is just as possible that he is getting close to someone like Takada in order to increase our suspicions of her and thus distract us from Mikami."_

" _You mean because Takada seems like the logical choice for Kira to replace the former second Kira, Misa Amane, with," said Near. "Or so he may want us to think, in order to divert our focus onto her."_

 _L nodded. "Correct."_

So the question now was whether or not it was worth taking the time and manpower to monitor Kiyomi Takada as well. Jubilee was of the opinion that it was needless. After all, they knew Mikami was the new hand of Kira and that Takada was likely meant to be a distraction from him, so what was the point? She figured Near agreed with her, seeing as how he had given her the go ahead earlier to assign both Aiber and Wedy to monitoring Mikami only. Mello, however, was another story.

" _Look, J," he told her bluntly. "I know you see some stuff that the rest of us don't see, but that doesn't mean that you see everything."_

 _Jubilee was too taken aback by his forwardness to respond at first. It was L who asked, in a neutral tone, "Are you implying that you believe_ _Kiyomi_ _Takada is the new hand of Kira instead of_ _Teru_ _Mikami?"_

" _Hey, I know what I saw," Jubilee cut in, irritated. "At the time that the killings started again, Teru Mikami was the one who had been killing people, and Kiyomi Takada wasn't. You can either believe me or not, but that's what I know."_

" _I'm not saying that that's not the case, I'm just saying that I think there's more to Takada than just being a diversion," argued Mello. "There's got to be a reason why Kira is involving her so heavily."_

" _You just agreed earlier that it was to divert attention from Mikami," Near pointed out._

 _Mello's temper escalated exponentially at the younger boy entering the conversation. "Okay, twerp," he began with grit teeth. "As much as I loathe you, I know you're not a complete idiot. You know as well as I do that the connection between those two can't be pure coincidence."_

 _Near's voice remained level. "Again you make sweeping statements that aren't entirely accurate. It_ _can_ _be a coincidence, the chances are just rather low. Perhaps five to ten percent."_

 _Mello exploded. "Then why—!"_

 _L interrupted quickly. "Matt, your opinion please."_

" _Uhh..." the third boy hedged, clearly not wanting to be roped into the conflict. "I don't have an opinion, I'm just doing the hacking."_

In the end it was decided that Takada would be monitored after all, but not by way of unanimous agreement. It was entirely possible that Matt and even L may have been willing to, but Mello reached the end of his patience before giving any of them the chance to agree with him.

" _Look, I don't care what the rest of you do," the teen spat, mostly addressing Near. "I'll keep investigating who and what I think needs investigating, the way it needs to be investigated, and I'll report what I find in the interest of_ _solidarity_ _," he enunciated the last word slowly and mockingly, repeating Near's usage of it earlier. "Ryuzaki," he continued in a slightly more reserved tone, "I trust you'll find the dots to connect between all the respective intel we gather."_

" _Thank you, Mello," said L, rather diplomatically._

 _Jubilee sensed that the teen, not one to give proper farewells, was about to abruptly take his leave of the conversation. "Mello, wait a second," she heard herself say._

 _There was a pause. "Yeah?" he asked brusquely._

" _Listen, um..." She considered a few different peacemaking words she could say, before dismissing them all as too patronizing—in a teenager's mind, anyway. She sighed. "I know you're probably way more experienced in...detective stuff—uh, case work—than I am...so..." '_ If it makes you feel better' _was the wrong thing to say to a teenage boy. So was '_ I'm sure you're on to something.' _She ran a hand through her hair. Why were there so many social landmines to navigate? "I'll assign Aiber to monitor Takada with you," she said at last, simply._

 _She felt more than heard the boy hesitate awkwardly for a moment._

" _Cool," was all he finally said. Jubilee just barely caught a glimpse of a steady line over a head of straight golden hair, in her mind's eye, before Mello signed off._

 _Matt's lower-case_ m _remained on the screen._

" _Er..." said the other teen. "I guess I'll be going too, then. Catch you guys later."_

" _Matt," Near's robotic voice stopped him before he signed off. "You're just two doors down from me. We could conduct these calls together next time, you know."_

 _There was a pause, and then Matt said, not unkindly, "Nah. My setup's all here. Plus my video games. Later, short stack, catch you at breakfast." He signed off._

" _Mello didn't take Matt with him?" L questioned Near after the other two had left the line._

" _No, Matt rarely leaves his room except for meals," revealed Near. "I doubt he'd be willing to leave the entire establishment and abandon his gaming system, at this age at least. Besides, Mello wouldn't need Matt's assistance except remotely anyway. And—" There was only a slight hesitation before he added, with deliberate indifference, "He probably wanted to keep him safe."_

" _So he left...wherever it is you are? England?" asked Jubilee. "Where is he now, anyway?"_

 _There was a long, somewhat bewildered pause, before L muttered, "I forgot to ask about that."_

 _She eyed him, then covered her mic with one hand. "Not used to kids, are you?"_

 _He glowered at her and muted the call. "I have no experience in that arena whatsoever, actually. This entire conversation has been slightly overwhelming." The colors churning weakly around him seemed to echo his statement._

 _She gave him a sympathetic smile. "You did pretty well, all things considered. I was pretty rusty myself." She glanced Hellenos' way and added, "From experience though, I can say that it definitely takes a special touch."_

 _L gave her a measured look before turning away, back to the screen. "Well, that's why I have you," he answered casually, then added before she could respond, "Pass the cake please," and unmuted the call to dismiss Near._

 _She grinned and slid the last slice over to him._

* * *

It was close to 3 AM when Jubilee finally collapsed into bed that evening, exhausted. Hellenos hovered over her like a mother hen, tutting as he held a hand over her head, which was throbbing from a sugar crash.

 _ **Get some rest,**_ he ordered, as the tension in her skull eased.

"Hey, Hellenos," she slurred into her pillow, sounding almost drunken from fatigue and way too much sugar. "D'you think those kids...will be okay?"

Hellenos' tone was neutral. _**What do you mean?**_

"Y'know what I mean," she admonished tiredly, her eyes closed. "This is the Kira case. Light already tried to kill L. Won't he try to kill his successors, too, if he finds out about them?"

 _ **You're worried.**_

"'Course I'm worried. They're just _kids._ Genius kids, but still. Even if that one is kind of a brat. What's-his-face. Mello," she mumbled incoherently. Hellenos didn't respond, and she went on, still barely awake, "And he's God knows where. Hellenos. Hey. Tell me he'll be okay."

The angel sighed. _**I can't predict the future. But you said it yourself. God knows where he is.**_

"Tha's what I said," she slurred, annoyed.

Hellenos smiled. _**Get some rest,**_ he repeated. _**And maybe don't go overboard on dessert before bed, next time.**_

She huffed sleepily. "Tell that to L. He had four times as much as I did."

 _ **He has his own guardian angel to tell him that.**_

" _He_ can't hear _his_ angel." Jubilee cracked an eye open and pointed an accusatory finger at Hellenos. " _You_ know that already."

 _ **And in my experience, it makes little difference whether the human hears me or not,**_ said Hellenos dryly. _**I said to get some rest. Three times now.**_

Jubilee closed her eyes and flopped onto her other side. "Point taken," she yawned, then added wearily, "Kids are exhausting," before promptly passing out.

The angel by her bedside shook his head and looked heavenwards. _**Tell me about it,**_ he said with a smirk.

Whatever it was that he heard in response made him chuckle softly to himself.

* * *

 **A/N: Short chapter this time, which means I could get it to you guys sooner. And, just to be extra ambitious, I'll aim to get the next one out a week from now, too. I anticipate having lots of arguments with Light in my head, as I did this week, because his plan's getting so dang complicated that it's taking me extra brainpower to keep up.**

 **Have classes started for those of you in school or uni? Best of luck, if so! And if you're dreading the return to academia, then just remember that I'm cheering you on and that at least you don't have a classmate who's an undercover serial killer. Probably.**

 **A question for you guys...anyone on Tumblr? I've been quietly browsing it for a while without being very active on my own page, but I'm contemplating starting an author Tumblr blog. It's kind of new territory for me though, so if anyone has any thoughts or advice for me on that front, I'll happily take it. Thanks in advance!**

 **Enjoy the coming week, all!**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Jubilee leaned forward on her knees, her eyes glued to the laptop on her coffee table. Onscreen were Light and Kiyomi, seated across from each other at a small table in a private hotel room.

The footage of their reunion was supposedly streaming to the downstairs monitor only, where the rest of the Task Force was gathered in the main room. But, unbeknownst to all of them—save one with ghostly skin and a particular affinity for sweets—Jubilee was hooked into the connection as well. And, she suspected, so were Mello and Near.

Fifteen minutes earlier she had watched Aizawa do a final sound and visual check of the hidden cameras, an unsuspecting baby blue hovering over his features, before he took his leave of Light. Minutes afterward, Kiyomi Takada arrived.

Jubilee was mostly bored for the first ten minutes of Light's and Kiyomi's meeting. Hellenos had to repeatedly tap her on the head to keep her awake whenever she started nodding off. She had grumbled, thinking resentfully that if certain eccentric successors of a certain enigmatic genius hadn't kept her up most of the night, she wouldn't be so exhausted. And even though she'd promised Mello that she would monitor Takada from now on, the woman still exhibited the same normal-looking colors and shadows that she had from when Jubilee first looked at her. As far as she could tell, the short-haired brunette was shrewd and cold, but not a murderer.

Then Kiyomi's cell phone started ringing and she let slip one soft, surprised word as she glanced down at the number.

" _Kira—_ "

Jubilee—whose eyelids had been drooping again up until this point—instantly snapped awake and scrambled forward, taking the monitor by her hands.

"What?" she breathed. "What'd she just say?"

 _ **She said Kira,**_ said Hellenos needlessly, then added, _**Told you you needed to stay awake.**_

Jubilee ignored him, knowing full well that he knew that she knew what Kiyomi had just said. And the straight line over the woman's head indicated that it was no bluff.

"Mikami is calling her," she said, dumbfounded. "They...they're in _contact_ with each other." _That brat was right,_ she thought with chagrin.

" _You should answer it,"_ said Light's voice, his tone unreadable.

Kiyomi's eyes had snapped up to him in uncertainty, a dark blue quavering about her in fearful suspicion. So, she wasn't in cahoots with Light after all. At least not knowingly.

" _It's alright,"_ assured Light. " _You know my dad was former chief of the police, and they've publicly stated themselves as neutral towards Kira. I actually worked for them this summer and am interning with them now, and I can attest to the the fact that they are passively in support of Kira by staying out of his way."_

Kiyomi's shoulders relaxed slightly. " _I didn't know you were a Kira supporter,_ " she stated with some caution, though her hand was already pulling out her cell phone.

Light shrugged. " _Since I'm working for the police, I guess I am, indirectly._ " The line over his head snapped.

That statement seemed to seal the deal for Kiyomi, who quickly flipped open her phone. " _Hello?_ " she spoke softly into the receiver. After a pause, she said hesitantly, " _No, I'm with a...friend. We decided to meet, unexpectedly._ "

Across from her, Jubilee could see colors start to churn over Light's head. It was almost like watching a parallel version of whenever L was in deep thought, except that the colors over Light's head were much darker and tinged with an oily black smog. Jubilee couldn't discern what he was thinking, but a sense of excited anticipation seeped from him.

Kiyomi's eyes widened in surprise at whatever she heard through the phone, and she brought the mobile away from her ear. " _He wants me to give the phone to you,_ " she said to Light, sounding just as astounded by this revelation as Jubilee felt.

"What?" Jubilee gaped from her sitting position on the floor.

 _ **She said that he wants her to—**_

"I know what she said!" Jubilee snapped, frantically motioning for the angel beside her to shut up.

Light extended his hand out to Kiyomi, his face expressionless. Kiyomi slowly, tentatively held out the phone to him. Their fingers brushed as the mobile exchanged hands.

Light held Kiyomi's phone to his ear. " _Hello?_ " he said into it. There was a pause as he listened, and then he said, in a confused tone, " _Two days ago? Half of the pages?_ _Another_ _notebook? What are you talking about?_ "

The line over his head snapped. Jubilee leaned in closer, her breath held. Light was not confused at all.

" _Yes,_ " Light continued. Then, " _Are you really Kira?_ "

Again the line snapped. The shade of glowing excitement that was over him heightened.

" _Sakura TV, you say?_ " he asked.

Jubilee started, then scrambled for the television set in her room, grabbing the remote and turning it on. With frustration she realized that she couldn't watch both the TV and her laptop at the same time.

"Gah!" she cried, whipping her head back and forth between the two screens. "Hellenos, watch that one for me!" she ordered, jabbing her finger at the laptop behind her before settling her sights on the television.

She could almost hear the angel rolling his eyes in response. Hellenos always saw everything that was going on around her—his vision wasn't limited to a pair of eyeballs—and he knew that she knew that.

On the TV screen ahead of her was a man in long, cultish white robes who was gesturing wildly while expounding on the virtues of Kira. A dirty smog hovered over him as he spoke.

" _I beseech you, fellow Kira followers,_ " he bellowed into the camera, " _If you believe in Kira's cause, then show your support! Please send your donations to—_ "

His voice died in his throat and he froze, wide-eyed, before clutching at his heart and keeling over. The smog lifted from him.

Jubilee stood, frozen to the carpet in shock, before snapping back to the present. Whirling about, she bounded back over to the laptop and knelt down before it.

Light, too, was staring at the TV screen in his room with an expression that looked like astonishment. But the line over his head kept snapping, and the dark, gleeful glow around him kept growing. Kiyomi's cell phone was still to his ear, and now he cocked his head like he was listening intently to whoever was on the other end of the line. His brow furrowed as though in concern. Leaning over the table beside him, he quickly scribbled something down onto a notepad and then held it up in front of the camera. Jubilee failed to catch a glimpse of what the line over his head was doing before the paper filled the camera's view completely.

 _Kira wants to have the room checked for devices,_ it said. _I'm removing everything before he sees them._

The note hovered there on the screen for a few seconds. And then, everything went black.

Jubilee stared at the dark screen.

"What?" she whispered, sitting back on her heels. Then she yelled, "What just happened?!"

 _ **Well,**_ began Hellenos patiently, _**First, Kiyomi Takada entered the hotel room, and then—**_

Jubilee cut him off with an exasperated shout. "I know that part! I mean, what just—what was—" She made a desperate flailing motion towards the blank laptop screen and then exploded angrily, "I can't believe this! We let our guards down because we thought we'd be able to monitor their whole meeting. I even told Aiber to wait outside the hotel so Light wouldn't accidentally see him. But now..." Her fists clenched in agitation. "Now Light and Kiyomi are talking in private—and the Task Force will completely buy his excuse. He totally played us!"

She slumped backwards against the bottom of the couch. Briefly she raged to herself. Why couldn't she just be shown a vision of what was happening between Light and Kiyomi right now? What was the point of being able to see all she could see, if there was nothing to even look at?

After a moment of brooding silence, she asked glumly, "What do you think they're talking about?"

Hellenos shrugged and slid gracefully down to sit beside her. _**Oh, probably world domination and such. You know, the usual human stuff.**_

Jubilee groaned.

She wondered what was going on in L's head right now. In all likelihood he was already planning out a series of countermoves against Light. Near and Mello probably were, too. The chances were low that anyone besides her had no idea what to do. She passed a hand over her eyes, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with herself. She was caught in a high stakes cat-and-mouse-game, with geniuses on both sides—most of whom were younger than her—and it was becoming impossible to keep up.

The headset around her ears buzzed. Surprised, she glanced back at the screen to see an incoming call from a number she didn't recognize. Briefly she wondered if it was someone she shouldn't be talking to. Then she dismissed the idea. L wouldn't have given her this laptop if just anyone could contact her on it.

Still, her voice was cautious when she answered. "Hello?"

An _M_ appeared on her screen. "Hey, J," said Mello's voice .

"Mello," she greeted in relief, then leaned forward eagerly. "Please tell me that you tapped Kiyomi Takada's cell phone earlier."

Mello's voice sounded bitter. "Sorry to disappoint," he ground out. "Only had the time and resources to tap the first and second Kiras' lines so far. Bet you're wishing we decided to prioritize Takada sooner."

Jubilee made a face. "Rub it in, why don't you."

Mello gave a sigh that reminded her unnervingly of L. "It doesn't matter," he said dismissively. "Like I said, I only had the means and manpower to monitor two people at a time, and it was going to be the first and second Kira anyway. Though I'm probably going to ditch the latter to focus more on Takada now—listening to that Amane woman go on and on is starting to drive me nuts. I need you to check something for me though."

"What—" began Jubilee, but her monitor went momentarily blank before a video took over the screen. It was of Misa, sitting at a table in what must have been her apartment, eating lunch. Mogi—who, L had informed Jubilee, was now assigned as Misa's new undercover "manager" under the alias of Mochi—stood beside her, serving her from a tray.

" _I like your cooking and having you around, Mochi, but we shouldn't be seeing each other so much,_ " Misa was saying as she stuffed her face. " _Light might get the wrong idea._ "

" _Uh,_ " said Mogi. " _Light's the one who assigned me to be your new manager and keep an eye on you._ "

Misa looked put out, but continued, " _Well, yeah, but still. I mean, I know he trusts me completely, but...what if he thinks I'm cheating on him?_ " A dusty shade of blue drifted from her in wisps, darkening the usual bubblegum pink around her. She was lonely and missed Light, Jubilee realized.

A guilty hue of grayish-green rose out of Mogi and he shifted uncomfortably. He knew that Light was meeting with Kiyomi Takada today. " _I'm sure he doesn't,_ " he assured the blonde pop star. " _Besides...if he trusts you completely, then he wouldn't ever think that. That would—that would be a contradiction._ "

Mello's voice interrupted Jubilee's thoughts. "See anything interesting?" the boy asked.

"Um." Jubilee took a moment to think of how to translate what she'd seen into words. "Misa misses Light; I guess he hasn't gone to see her in a while? And Mogi felt sorry for her because he knows Light's with another woman." A thought occurred to her. "I wonder if Light's purposely wanting Mogi to keep her company and out of the way, while he moves on to Takada?"

There was a pause, like Mello was waiting for more. "And?" he prompted.

"Uh..." Jubilee was confused. "And what?"

Mello gave another impatient sigh. "See anything _different?_ " he clarified. "About Misa Amane?" he added, after more confused silence from Jubilee.

She squinted at the screen. From behind her, Hellenos was casually whistling to himself.

 _ **Look for paaaatterns,**_ he said in a soft sing-song voice, quoting L. _**Compare and contraaaast...**_

Jubilee stared at Misa, at the colorful pink cloud all around her, and then it suddenly dawned on her.

"The _haze_ is gone!" she practically shouted. "She...she doesn't remember being the second Kira anymore."

Mello let out the breath he had been holding. "That's what I thought," he said, a smirk in his tone.

"Wait, you didn't already know?" she asked, baffled.

"I'm not the one with special eyeballs, am I," he returned. "I needed you to confirm my suspicions."

Jubilee sighed to herself. It seemed that someone with a normal IQ like her could only ever hope to be a final proofreader for the geniuses. Though perhaps "normal" was a generous assessment...seeing as how she'd completely failed to notice the absence of Misa's Kira haze, despite it staring her in the face during the entire video.

"It's not in the eyeballs, technically," she explained, a bit sulkily.

Mello gave a snort of laughter. "Whatever you say, J."

Jubilee tilted her head, considering the _M_ on her screen. "You know, you're not so bad to talk to, when Near's not on the line."

Tension filled the air for three long seconds at the mention of the other successor's name. Then it dissipated as Mello sniffed and said, "And you're not so bad to talk to, for someone with average intelligence."

"Ouch!" cried Jubilee, but with a laugh—somehow, despite his sharp words, there didn't seem to be any malice behind them.

"Hey, at least I didn't say _below_ average."

"Fair point," she conceded, then asked, "So...what are you thinking, in regards to Misa?"

"I'm thinking that it's safe for me to pull surveillance from her for now and focus my energy elsewhere," replied Mello. He huffed. "Kind of annoying that she turned out to be a waste of time, but I wanted to be sure first. At least now we can be certain that Kira's power—or, in other words, one of the Death Notes—has transferred from Misa's hands into someone else's. Mikami, we're assuming. So Misa, at least, is not a threat anymore. Incidentally, it's possible that Light didn't want you seeing her and figuring that out, since Mogi's been making her meals at home and she hasn't been out and about lately. Otherwise, I would've just had you look at public security footage."

Jubilee's brain whirled to keep up. "So you're saying that she had a Death Note, but now it's with Mikami?" she questioned.

"Yeah. Ryuzaki's case notes said that there's more than one notebook, and _you_ said that Mikami's got killer smog all over him, or whatever. So it makes sense that a Death Note was transferred from the second Kira to the new hand of Kira. That being said...there's got to be at least _three_ notebooks, because the Task Force is in custody of a second notebook, yet you're still seeing killer smog over Light. Which means that _he_ has a _third_ notebook."

Jubilee's mouth formed a little _o_ at this revelation.

Mello went on, "But he's probably not going to risk using it, since he's mostly staying at headquarters and knows he can be watched. Hence his using Mikami. But Light's definitely using Takada as a key piece too somehow, even if she doesn't have a Death Note—and I'm going to figure out how. Maybe that will be the way to get to Mikami."

Jubilee slowly nodded as she processed all this. "Okay," she said. "So you'll be focusing on her now?"

"Probably," said the teen. "Hopefully her apartment won't be as hard to break into and wiretap as Misa's was."

Jubilee nodded again, then stopped as that statement registered with her. It took five whole seconds for the implication of what Mello had just said to dawn on her. She gaped at the screen.

"Wait a second," she began. "Mello, you...Oh my G—" She stopped herself, then demanded, "Are you in Japan?!"

"Took you a while to connect the dots, huh," he answered casually. "Funny that you didn't figure it out when I first sent you surveillance of Misa's apartment. How do you think cameras got put in there in the first place?"

Jubilee ignored the jab at her deduction skills. She leapt to her feet, still staring down at the _M_ on her screen. "You can't be in Japan!" she cried.

"False," returned Mello simply.

She pointed a finger at the screen accusingly. "What are you, fifteen? You can't travel overseas alone. And I _know_ you're not the type to get a guardian to accompany you."

"I'm fourteen," Mello answered calmly. "But unlike certain tiny twerps who shall go unnamed, I can pass for at least sixteen. And honestly, how hard do you think it would be for me to get my hands on a forged passport?"

Only fourteen? Jubilee felt her sense of reason slipping as concern overwhelmed her. "That's _illegal,_ " she said helplessly.

"Yeah, we've been through that already, J."

"It's not _safe_ ," she cried. "Why would you bring yourself right into Kira's territory? I thought you and Near were supposed to be helping remotely—"

"That twerp can stay behind a shut door if he wants," Mello cut her off, his tone sharp. "But I'm not him, and I work differently."

Anger welled up in Jubilee. "You think this is all just some kind of game you're playing against him? There are lives on the line here, kid. _Your_ life is on the line."

"I am not just some _kid._ " Mello's voice had become cold. "If you knew me, and you knew Near, then you'd know that _he's_ the one who treats everything like a game. _I'm_ the one who's willing to take the case seriously enough to actively _put_ my life on the line—like Ryuzaki did."

Jubilee stopped short at that, the irony of the situation hitting her like a ton of bricks. Only two days ago she had thrown all caution to the wind herself when she wrote in the Death Note. Still, she knew that Mello's motives were different from what hers had been. "Not a game, then," she acquiesced softly. "But a contest. You're trying to prove that you're better than Near."

There was a moment of silence as she sensed Mello's irritation slowly turning into anger.

"What if something happens to you?" she continued quickly. "How will you prove anything if Kira kills you?"

"He won't kill me," Mello bit out. "Or at the very least, if he does, then I'll be taking him down with me."

"You can't just treat your life like some chess piece!"

"Like you care."

"I do care!" she exploded. "Kira already tried to kill L—no, he _did_ kill him. He'll try to do the same to you, if he finds out about you."

"Then I won't let him find out. Simple."

Jubilee clenched her hands helplessly. This was the same arrogance that L had had in the beginning, only worse. Mello not only didn't take into account the likelihood of dying, but he didn't even _care_ if he died. Guiltily she realized that how she felt now was how L must have felt, after she had written in the Death Note. She sank back down onto her knees in frustration.

The boy on the other end of the line let out an irritated huff, like he could hear her thoughts. "You're not my mother, J," he sighed, though his tone wasn't cruel. "So why keep worrying like you are?"

Jubilee unclenched her fists. "Someone's got to," she said quietly.

"You don't even know me."

"Does that make your life of any less value?" she shot back.

Mello paused. "Maybe not," he said. "But right now, the only thing that gives it value is how I perform on this case."

In her mind's eye, Jubilee could see a straight line hovering over the strawberry blond boy's head. The sight of it made her slam her fist down on the coffee table. " _False,_ " she snapped, shooting his own word from earlier back at him. "How can you believe something like that?"

"Because it's true, isn't it?" he retorted. "I mean, that's essentially what Near and I are for. Matt too. It's all to succeed L. To solve cases. If we can't do that well, then what are we good for? You could probably already tell from Near and his weirdness, but it's not like any of us are exactly normal and could just find some other niche in the world to fit into. And honestly, I don't know what else I would want to be doing anyway."

His tone was matter-of-fact, but Jubilee felt her heart ache at his words. "Your worth isn't measured by how good you are at things," she argued.

He snorted. "What world do _you_ live in?"

She stared helplessly at the _M_ on the screen. She suddenly remembered her father, how he had taken over driving her to soccer practice everyday after her mother died, even though it was a strain on his work schedule and on their gas money—but he had done it simply because Jubilee loved soccer at the time. There was never a question of how good she was at it...except, perhaps, from her coach. She always knew she wasn't good enough to pursue it past high school. But regardless, her father had always been there to cheer her on at every game, whether she was scoring a goal or falling flat on her face. Because of him, she knew—even if she forgot from time to time—that true worth wasn't measured by performance.

But she also knew that not everyone in the world had the luxury of experiencing love from a loving father. Working at Wakahisa had made that abundantly clear to her. And now, knowing that L's successors had grown up in an orphanage like him, she knew that trying to explain such a concept to any of them, in words alone, would be like trying to describe colors to a blind man.

So all she said was, "Okay. Let's just agree to disagree." Giving a resigned sigh, she decided to change the subject. "So...what's the plan, Mello?"

The boy paused. "You're letting me make the plan?" he asked incredulously.

"You're going to do whatever you want anyway, aren't you?" she pointed out. "And it's going to be better than anything I can come up with. I may not agree with how you view your own worth, but...I do trust that you know what you're talking about when it comes to cases. So. What's the plan?"

Mello hesitated once more, as though unused to getting to this point without a fight. At last he said, "Well, like I said, I'll wiretap Takada's apartment and her personal line, while you have Aiber keep an eye on her in person when she's out and about. Other than that...I don't really have a plan. I'm just going with the flow."

Jubilee put her face in her hands and bit her lip to keep from saying anything. Going with the flow to catch the world's deadliest killer. What an idea.

"Something's gotta be done to get to Light, though, and draw him out of his safe zone," continued Mello. "That way he'll slip up and reveal more of his hand, and _then_ I can make a clear plan. Not sure what to do yet to make that happen, but something'll come to me. Maybe I'll kidnap his sister."

Jubilee's head snapped up. " _What_ now?"

"In all likelihood, though, he's the type who would kill his sister if he had to," Mello went on like he hadn't heard her. "So, sentiment's not gonna work for us here. Next logical person to kidnap _would_ have been Misa—"

"What!" Jubilee jumped back to her feet. "We are not _kidnapping_ anybody! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"But, like we've already established, Misa's probably of little use to him now," Mello continued contemplatively. "So he wouldn't care. It's not like he actually _likes_ her. Or anyone, probably." There was the sound of him snapping his fingers as though in revelation. "So if we were going to kidnap anybody, it would have to be Takada."

" _What?!_ " she said again, aghast. "No! Stop." She shook her head to clear it and asked, bewildered, "What is with you and kidnapping people?"

"It works. There's a reason people do it."

"That doesn't mean _you_ should!"

His tone became smug. "Still think my character is of value beyond my ability to solve cases, J?"

The smirk in his voice was evident, and Jubilee had the distinct feeling that he was messing with her more than he was being serious. She grit her teeth.

"Yes, I do," she bit out. Though the line over her own head didn't break, even she didn't think that she sounded very convincing at that moment.

"Right," drawled Mello. "I'll have to agree to disagree with you there."

Jubilee had never had a younger brother, but she imagined that this was what it would've felt like to want to throttle one if she had.

"Being a brat and having slightly psychotic tendencies doesn't negate the value of your life," she snapped before she could stop herself. "Just obscures it from the average observer."

Instantly she winced, regretting the snippiness of her words. But before she could apologize, Mello let out a bark of laughter, much to her surprise.

"You know," he said, "I'd pegged you for the stuffy, mother-hen type at first. But you just threw that image right out the window."

She furrowed her brow, unsure whether that was an insult or a compliment. Probably both. "You shouldn't make assumptions," she muttered.

"First time I've been wrong."

She snorted. "Yeah, right."

Mello sounded like he was about to make another snappy remark, but then drew in a sharp breath. "Hey," he said. "I'm getting a read here that Light's making a phone call in to headquarters."

Jubilee tensed, feeling the mood suddenly revert back to something more somber. At the same time, a _ding_ issued from the laptop and a message popped up. It was from Aiber. _Light has exited the hotel,_ it said. _Alone. Making a call._

"I'm going to listen in," Mello continued.

"Yeah," said Jubilee, letting out a shaky breath. "You do that."

There was a second of hesitation before Mello said, "I'll hook you in so you can listen, too."

The line switched over before Jubilee could register her own surprise, and Light's voice filled her headset.

" _I managed to convince Takada I was a Kira supporter and gained her trust, for the most part,_ " the young man was saying. " _So I'll be able to continue investigating her—under the guise of being her boyfriend._ "

Jubilee nearly choked.

" _What!_ " came Matsuda's excited voice. " _Wow, Light, you've sure got game! You seduced her after only one meeting._ "

Aizawa's gruff voice interjected, " _So she doesn't suspect you at all?_ "

" _She is a little cautious,_ " Light admitted. " _One of her conditions was that our dates only be in locations that she proposes immediately beforehand...so, we won't be able to install any cams ahead of time. But, I can still have a mic planted on me without her knowing, so that the Task Force can listen in on our conversations._ "

" _That's more than 'a little cautious,' on her part,_ " said L's voice. " _But not entirely surprising, given that she is in contact with the current Kira. Tell me, Light...what_ _is_ _her relationship with Kira?"_

Light paused. " _Well,_ " he began slowly, " _She told me that he has appointed her as his spokesperson."_

" _His spokesperson?_ " repeated Soichiro.

" _Yeah,_ " affirmed Light. " _And I can see why. Kira has lots of supporters that he can utilize for his cause, but he can't show his face. He needs someone to speak on his behalf. Kiyomi Takada has physical appeal and is well-spoken, and she's a broadcast journalism major. She'd naturally make a good TV personality, and as an avid Kira supporter, she's the perfect choice for him to pick."_

" _Hmm,_ " intoned L. " _Very keen insight, Light._ "

Matsuda spoke up again. " _So that's why she's so cautious! Because she's going to be Kira's spokesperson now._ "

" _Yeah,_ " agreed Light again. " _She's going to get bodyguards and everything...because once her face starts hitting TV screens and she becomes known as Kira's spokesperson, that will be a necessary measure for her to take for her own safety. She'll be able to afford it, too, with all the media attention that she'll start getting."_

" _Might I suggest, then,_ " said L, " _That you recommend Aiber as part of her staff? That way we can have another set of eyes on her."_

" _Of course,"_ Light replied smoothly _. "I expected you to suggest as much. I think that's a good idea. Anyway, I'm getting on the train now...I'll be back at headquarters shortly."_

The call clicked to an end. Mello came back on the line.

"Hear anything interesting, Miss Super Sight?" he asked.

She scowled, but it was more at herself than at him. "Not any more than you did," she answered. "I do pick up on things sometimes just by listening, but it's like you said...I mostly pick up on stuff through sight. Just now all I heard was exactly what you heard." The admission made her feel a little useless, and she added, somewhat embarrassedly, "Sorry."

Mello didn't sound disappointed. "I figured as much," he responded dismissively. "Anyway, I think we can assume that Light must've revealed himself as Kira and then appointed Takada as his personal spokesperson, during their little private chat just now. Also, Ryuzaki had your back on getting Aiber an 'in' with Takada for you...now Aiber can secretly report all the details of what he finds to you, while giving benign reports to the Task Force. However, it sounds like Light was anticipating as much...so we can't bet on Aiber discovering much more than what Light's willing to reveal."

Jubilee's brain was whirling to keep up with the boy's rapid fire deductions, but in the midst of it all a single thought occurred to her. _He didn't think that I'd be useful just now...but he still had me listen to that call with him._

A smile graced her lips. The kid talked tough, but when it came to others, he didn't actually see worth as being measured by performance, did he? Maybe he wasn't such a tough nut to crack after all. Now, if only he could extend the same viewpoint to himself...

Hellenos tapped her on the head pointedly. _**Remind you of someone much?**_ he quipped.

 _Who?_ she thought innocently.

Hellenos gave her a hard look, then huffed, _**Humans.**_

Grinning, Jubilee turned her attention back to Mello, who was still listing off new revelations and potential options to take.

"You know, kid," she interrupted him suddenly. "You really are something."

Mello stopped short. "What?" he said warily.

"Being around the likes of L is already mind-blowing enough," she went on. "But then to find out he has _successors_? And more than one." She laughed. "I don't have a prayer of keeping up with you guys."

"Uh..." The boy sounded thrown off by her sudden change in topic. "You don't have to keep up with us, J, we're all working together."

"Bingo." She smiled. "You said it."

There was a pause, before Mello ground out, "What are you getting at?" He sounded like he was scowling.

"I'm the eyes on this case," she said. "But eyes are useless without a brain. I was freaking out until you guys came along, because with all that I can see, I still don't know what to do half the time. But L told me that I would have all the help that I need...and that's you guys. The fact that he didn't choose one of you to help me, but both you and Near—and Matt too, now—means that none of this is a competition. This isn't another test to measure who's more worthy of becoming the next L. This is all of us—the eyes, the brain—" She thought of Aiber and Wedy, along with Matsuda and the rest of the Task Force, and added, " _And_ the hands and the feet...all working together to catch Kira—and save the world." She smiled softly then as she thought of L, and his words to her that she was about to echo next. "This case needs you, Mello. I need you. Only you are able to do what you can do." Leaning forward, she considered the silent _M_ on her screen. "And, you know...by default I think that means that the world needs you, too."

"The world needs L," said Mello shortly, speaking the detective's name for the first time, but as a title rather than a name.

"Yeah, well, L needs all of us," she replied. "Otherwise, he'd be working alone."

She was met with a brooding silence. Tentatively, she added, "I get it. I used to prefer being alone. L too. Sometimes it just feels easier that way. But...maybe it's time to try something new."

There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Mello said simply, "Yeah, maybe." He didn't sound entirely happy about it, and Jubilee caught a glimpse in her mind's eye of the line over his head wavering, but not breaking.

She grinned. To Hellenos, she thought, _You're totally wrong. I was way worse than he is._

The angel only chuckled.

"I'm gonna get going, J," said Mello. "Catch you this evening...with the others."

"Bye Mello," she said, but he had already disconnected. She sat back on her heels, letting out a long exhale, before glancing up at Hellenos. "Thanks," she said.

 _ **For what?**_ asked the angel.

"I don't know what miracle it is you pull for me whenever I have to deal with kids," she said, "But there's no way I'd be able to handle them otherwise."

The angel held up his hands. _**I didn't do anything this time.**_

Jubilee stared at him. "You're kidding me."

Hellenos began to laugh. _**What did I tell you?**_ he said, and gave her a warm smile. _**You humans never cease to surprise us.**_

* * *

 **A/N: Man, I don't know why, but this chapter was hard to write! I finally decided to just upload it because you guys have been waiting long enough. Thanks for your patience.**

 **Fun fact...as I was rereading through past chapters to get back in the groove, I realized that chapters 33 and 34—L's death and then subsequent resurrection—are exactly thirty chapters after Jubilee's death and resurrection—which were chapters 3 and 4. Cool coincidence, huh? Incidentally, those happen to be some of my favorite chapters written thus far.**

 **Until next time!**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

It had been three days since Jubilee had written in the Death Note. Ten days before Kira would undoubtedly aim to kill her.

And it had just become clear how he planned to lure her out to do so.

She stared at the email on L's computer monitor, which he had turned for her to see.

 _I am Kira,_ it began simply. _Meet me ten days from now at the Yellow Box Warehouse in the east countryside. I know that there are nine of you. You have until 2pm on that day for every member of the Task Force to be present. If even one of you fails to appear, you can be certain that many innocent people will die._

Hellenos had steadily faded from view beside her by the time she finished reading. She didn't notice.

"Nine?" she whispered, paling as she did a quick count in her head. There were only seven of them at headquarters. "He doesn't mean—"

"Not Near and Mello," said L, cutting her off. "If he knew about them then he would also know about Matt, and that would make ten." He turned the screen back around to face where he was crouched in his chair. "No, he's talking about Aiber and Wedy."

Jubilee exhaled in relief from where she stood beside him. L glanced up at her sharply.

"You really should be more worried about yourself," he told her. "This is clearly Kira's ploy to make you accessible."

"I'll be fine," she assured him, though she could feel the line over her own head quavering. She turned to look down at the detective. "We'll figure something out, right?" she added, with more bravado than she felt.

The agitated reds and blues that had hovered over L's form after she'd written in the Death Note flickered back into existence around him. He looked away from her.

"Yes," he said stiffly. "Because you are not going to be there." The line over his head wavered and then started to fade, but Jubilee barely noticed over her surprise at his words.

"What?!" she cried. "What do you mean?" She leaned over him, jabbing a finger at the computer screen. "It says right here that if I don't show up, then people will die. And that is not an option."

"Neither is delivering you right into Kira's hands."

"It's got to be one or the other," she argued.

L's hands clenched around his armrests. "I have other contacts, associates I could call on," he said, still not looking at her. "One of them could easily take your place." Again the line over his head trembled, cracking this time, before fading.

"What, so that they can potentially die in my place?" She put her hands on her hips. "And what about you? _All_ of you? You think I'm just gonna stay locked in my room while the rest of you go and possibly get yourselves killed?"

L lowered his head, still gripping the arms of his chair. "You would still have Near and Mello," he said softly. "And Matt. If anything should go wrong, the four of you..."

Jubilee was about to yell exactly what she thought of that— _You are NOT dying, AGAIN!—_ when she finally noticed the line over his head, cracking once more and fading a third time.

She dropped her arms. "You know that won't work," she said slowly. L didn't answer, and she went on, "I'm not arguing with you...I'm stating a fact that I can see." Considering the line over his head again, she said with realization, "Just sending in any nine people won't do. Light must have orchestrated this message, and he did it specifically so that I'd be there. Me _and_ you. If either of us don't show up, it's not beneath him to start killing people until we do. And you wouldn't be willing to risk that."

L's fingers had released the armrests and were now drumming irritably over them. Red spiked from him more violently and still he said nothing.

She cocked her head at him. "You were speaking out of sentiment rather than logic," she concluded, a little awed. "I didn't think you did that."

"I didn't," snapped the detective, rubbing at his eyes. "But then Kira killed Watari— _and_ me—and now he's aiming to kill you too. How many lives are you guaranteed, J? You're not a cat."

A surprised laugh burst from her lips. "Are you making a _joke?_ At a time like this?"

"Not on purpose," he muttered with a scowl, but the red streaks faded from around him somewhat.

She sobered. "I could say the same of you, you know," she said, before mimicking, "You really should be more worried about yourself."

He glared ahead at his computer screen. "I have successors. Multiple candidates who have trained their whole lives to do what I do, and who are readily available to replace me. But there is only one person who can do what you do."

The line over his head was steady this time. She stared at it, her heart thudding heavily in a mixture of fluttery butterflies at his last words, and dread over their underlying implication. She kneeled down to be eye level with him.

"What you're suggesting is not an option," she told him firmly. " _I_ can't do this without _you._ You are not replaceable. And neither are any of those kids."

He finally turned to her. For a long moment he simply stared at her, his eyes large and unblinking. Something flickered within them briefly, but he looked away again before she could discern what it was.

"This is all beside the point," he declared, straightening in his chair. "If I have anything to say about it, neither of us are going to die. Not in ten days, at least. So." He swiveled his chair to face her fully. "We need to come up with a plan."

Her lips quirked. "That's more like it," she commented, standing back up.

"What have you discovered thus far in your investigation?" he questioned, his tone formal and business-like once more.

She lowered herself into the chair next to him, making herself comfortable. "Wedy's been tailing Mikami everywhere he goes," she began, pulling a leg up to rest her chin on her knee. "She says that he's followed the exact same schedule everyday for the past three days. She wiretapped both his apartment and work cubicle too, so I've also been observing him. And she's right, he's like a robot...Coffee and breakfast at seven, work at eight-thirty, gym at six and then dinner. I think he even uses the bathroom at the same times." She twirled a piece of her hair around a finger as she thought. "The haze around him gets darker each day, and the amount of knives grows. There's too many for me to count a distinct number, but it definitely seems to match the daily kill stats. Oh, speaking of which...I've watched some of the new interviews of Takada—couldn't get through all of them, since her face is practically all over the news now—and I still don't see anything new in her. So maybe she really is just nothing but a spokesperson with a pretty face for Kira."

"Maybe," said L. "But we know that she's also the key communicator between Light and Mikami at the moment. Since Light himself has proposed that he be bugged during his interactions with her, we won't be hearing him reveal his plans to her outright during their meetings. Matt has now tapped both of their cell phones, however, and Mello is monitoring those lines to listen in on their private communication."

"Wait, so..." Jubilee's brow wrinkled in thought. "All we have to do is catch Light talking to Takada over the phone as Kira, and then we have sufficient evidence to apprehend him—right? That seems...too easy."

"Agreed." L leaned back to stare up at the ceiling. "I certainly won't complain if things work out that way...but I would be surprised if they did."

"So do you think Light suspects us of tapping their lines?" she asked. "Even though Mikami and Takada had already been in contact? I mean, he had her number and called her during her meeting with Light...so they must have been talking already. For all Light knew, we could've tapped Takada's line beforehand, and then we would've caught her conversing with Mikami about Kira's plans."

"Light had the element of surprise on his side in that situation," explained L. "We had no way of knowing or even suspecting, at the time, that Mikami and Takada were collaborating. But now that we do..." He steepled his fingers over his knees. "We will soon find out whether Light anticipated our move or not."

"I suppose," she murmured. "So..." She gestured at the email that was still on L's screen. "What do we do about that?"

L reached over to retrieve their headsets from a drawer. "I thought we'd discuss it with the others and come up with a plan together."

"Oh right." She had forgotten about the boys. "Why haven't they called yet?"

"I told them to wait for me call," he replied, swiveling to her to hold out a headset. "Anyway, they've all read the email already; I forwarded it to the three of them this afternoon when I first received it."

She had reached out to take the headset, but stopped short. "This afternoon?" she repeated. "But...why didn't you forward it to _me_ then?"

"Because it would have served no other purpose than to distress you before we were able to meet," he answered, pushing the headset into her hand. "And," he continued, turning back to his monitor and putting on his own headset, "I wanted to speak with you face to face."

His tone was impassive, but the air around him suddenly blushed with a shimmery lilac glow.

"About the matter," he added after an almost imperceptible pause, his face blank. He hit the call button.

Jubilee slowly put on the headset, unable to tear her gaze from the detective and the swirl of warm, golden color that was surrounding him. As she regarded the unexpected cloud of hues, a surprising thought occurred to her.

 _Did he tell Near and the others to wait so that he could have time with me first?_

Hellenos instantly shimmered back into view at her side. _**Having some alone time without the kids, eh?**_ he quipped, with the closest thing to an eyebrow waggle she had ever seen from him.

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud, right into the mic, just as the call connected and an _N,_ an _M_ , and an _m_ appeared on the screen.

"Hello boys," she said cheerily, her mood suddenly bright. "Have a good day?"

* * *

They still didn't have a plan.

Not a clear plan, at least. The successors spent the whole night before debriefing L and Jubilee on their respective observations throughout the day, before the conversation began to disintegrate into an argument between Mello and Near. L, having quickly mastered the fine art of breaking up fights via diversion, had interrupted before it could escalate.

" _The only way I see around avoiding your deaths," Near had said, the robotic filter masking any hint of feeling from his voice, "Is to apprehend the weapon that Kira plans on using to kill you, before he has a chance to do so. In other words, we need to find the Death Note that Teru Mikami is using."_

" _What do you think we've been doing, genius?" snapped Mello._

" _Thank you, Mello," returned Near calmly, "For your long delayed acknowledgment of my intellect."_

 _L spoke up before Mello could reply with an inevitable outburst of fury._

" _There are two things to note," the detective announced, sticking two pale fingers in the air that only Jubilee could see. "One...if we were to apprehend the notebook that is currently in Mikami's possession, we may well be able to prevent both our own deaths and that of criminals—but we would lose our current lead on finding Kira. In which case, I believe that we'd only be stalling those deaths. And two...Mello has pointed out in his recent report that Light is likely in possession of a third notebook. True, he may be reluctant to surrender it over to Mikami, as he would lose his memories again...but it serves as an effective back-up, and I have no doubt that he would do so as a last resort. Near, I imagine you have already formed similar suspicions."_

" _Yes," responded the younger successor tonelessly. "As I said, I was merely stating what would prevent yours and Miss Julie's immediate deaths, and the rest of the Task Force."_

 _Something about that statement finally clicked in Jubilee's brain, and she gave a gasp of realization. L glanced at her._

" _What is it, J?" he asked._

" _The Chief..." she whispered, staring ahead in horror. "Mr. Yagami is part of the nine that is supposed to be there at the warehouse. Light couldn't—he wouldn't...!" She turned to L with wide eyes. "Would he kill his own father?"_

" _Yes," answered L and his three successors simultaneously._

" _Finally got the memo, J?" said Mello dryly. "The guy is a blackhearted killer. He won't hold back, so neither should we."_

" _You're so innocent, Jules," added Matt with a sigh._

 _Jubilee bristled slightly and was about to point out that she was a decade older than him, when L cut in once more._

" _Back to the point," said the detective. "I do agree that we should find the notebook that Mikami is using. J, as you have reported based on Wedy's surveillance, we have yet to even witness him writing in it. That leaves a lot of holes in our physical evidence, and as you already know we cannot apprehend either him or Light based solely on the hazes you see over them. If we can discover the location of where he is hiding the notebook, as well as the times when he writes in it, then we will have the upper hand and can form a clearer plan."_

" _But how do we do that?" she asked despairingly. "I've watched hours of footage of him and haven't caught him pulling out a notebook or writing. Wedy's got his apartment bugged pretty well, and it doesn't look like he's doing it there. She's installed cams in his cubicle at work too, and she follows him and watches him when he's on the train or at the gym...but still, neither of us have seen anything. It's got to be another time that he writes in the notebook, but I don't know when."_

" _Maybe Aiber should be the one monitoring him instead of Wedy," suggested Matt. "So that he can follow him into the bathroom at work and the gym's locker room."_

" _Aiber's already been hired as one of Takada's full-time bodyguards," refuted L. "To abruptly pull him from that position so that he could infiltrate Mikami's workspace would arouse suspicion. Besides, I believe that Wedy is capable enough."_

 _Jubilee brooded over this for a second. "I guess I can ask her if she can infiltrate the men's locker room," she began thoughtfully, then made a face. "Though if she ends up installing cams, I might make either her or one of you guys monitor that bit." She shuddered at the thought of sweaty naked men—all gung-ho gym junkies, based on Wedy's description of the general demographic populating Mikami's gym of choice—strutting around to compare muscles...and other things._

 _L had turned to her. "Why?" he asked curiously. "It's nothing you haven't already seen plenty of before."_

 _She whipped around to him, her jaw dropping. His tone had been matter-of-fact and the expression he wore now was completely blank and uncondemning, but the sudden indirect reference to her checkered past made her turn scarlet. She reached over and furiously jabbed the mute button._

" _Can you_ _ **not**_ _say things like that in front of the kids?" she hissed._

 _L looked genuinely confused now. "Things like what? I was merely stating a fact."_

 _She sputtered for a few seconds, at an utter loss as to how to explain tact and propriety to someone this socially oblivious._

" _Boys' locker room shenanigans is something I never have, nor ever want to see," was all she could finally manage to say, with some shred of dignity._

 _L thought about that for a second, then gave a nod. "Fair enough." He turned back to the monitor and unmuted the call. "As I was saying," he went on without missing a beat, "Our priority now is to discover the location of Mikami's Death Note. Please make that your primary objective until further notice."_

" _Yes, sir," chorused all three boys._

Now Jubilee was seated on the floor of her room again, staring ahead at the lower-case _w_ on her screen as her mind whirred to reevaluate the entire situation.

"What do you think of tailing Mikami into the locker room?" she asked Wedy.

"No problem," answered the pro thief easily, her low voice filling Jubilee's headset.

Jubilee was a little stunned by her lack of hesitation. "Really?"

"I just have to slip in without anyone noticing me." Wedy's tone was dismissive. "The majority of the gym-goers there can hardly take their eyes off of themselves. It'll be easy."

Jubilee envied the other woman's confidence. "If it's so easy, then why didn't you do it from the get go? And what about once you're _inside_ the locker room? How are you going to avoid a bunch of men seeing you?"

"I spent the last two days scoping out the layout of the women's locker room and the rest of the building, so that I'd know the most discreet route to traverse from one row of lockers to the next without being seen," said Wedy, effectively answering all of Jubilee's questions in one sentence. "Based on the building's structure, the men's locker room most likely has the same layout as the women's. On top of that, assuming Mikami keeps up his precise schedule like he has for the past two and half days—and I'm willing to bet that he will, because I've never seen an individual function like clockwork the way he does—he will work out half an hour longer than the rest of the after-work crowd, and then there will be few if any others left in the locker room by the time he goes in. Also, it's the middle of the week—pretty low crowd as it is."

Jubilee shook her head in bewilderment. Was _everyone_ that L associated with always so brilliantly analytical?

"If you're wanting me to follow him in when he first gets to the gym, though," Wedy went on, "That's trickier. You're better off just waiting for me to install cams."

"Uh, no, that's okay," said Jubilee quickly. "Let's just start with you following him in after he's done working out, and then...and then we'll go from there."

"If I'm there already, I might as well."

Jubilee thought fast. Despite the awkward conversation with L last night, she would still most likely end up having to watch any such footage because of her sight.

"I mean, I just think it's unnecessary," she countered. "You said that by the time he's done there's barely anyone still around. If the locker room is where he's writing in the Death Note, then that would be the time to do it, not when there's a bunch of other gym-goers around."

There was a slight pause, and then Wedy acquiesced, "That's logical."

Was it? Score.

Hellenos quietly laughed at her from his position behind the couch, as Wedy continued, "I'll get that done when he leaves work in a few hours, and I'll report to you what I see. In the meantime I'll let you know if anything else comes up."

"Great, thanks Wedy," said Jubilee, and the other woman hung up. She turned to glance at the angel behind her. "Do you have to keep laughing at my expense? I was freaking out too much last night to see you the whole time, but I'm pretty sure I heard you cracking up when L dropped that one line on me, too."

 _ **I wasn't laughing at your expense,**_ said the angel innocently. _**I was laughing at your expression.**_

"Oh, that's better," she muttered, turning back to her laptop and pulling up surveillance footage. Moodily she fast forwarded through all of it, her eyes scanning every corner of the screen to look for anything noteworthy.

 _ **I don't know what you were so displeased about,**_ continued Hellenos airily. _**Clearly, between you and that boy, you're the only one who still sees something wrong with yourself.**_

Her fingers paused for a moment over the mouse before she continued clicking on to the next video. Not wanting to think about what L did or did not see in her, she adamantly focused her entire attention on surveying footage. Time passed by in a blur as hours and hours of Teru Mikami going about his day played before her eyes. Mikami having the dinner the night before. Mikami lying in bed, his eyes staring up at the ceiling before slowly closing. Mikami getting on the train, Mikami getting off the train. Mikami sitting in his cubicle and steadily typing away.

Besides the darkening haze over him and the ever present Cheshire grin above him, there was nothing suspicious happening around him at all. Nothing that could count towards physical evidence.

Finally, at six' o clock', she watched the grainy live footage of Mikami entering the downtown gym and disappearing from view. Not long after, the tall and lithe form of Wedy, clothed in a black tank top and sweatpants, walked through the doors also. Then, nothing.

Jubilee sighed heavily and lowered her face into the crook of her arm. Her head hurt. And she was hungry. Pulling off her headset, she dragged herself upright onto her feet, and made her way over to the kitchen to start on dinner.

Hellenos glided over, coming to a stop beside her at the stove. Together they watched meat sizzle in a skillet for a few minutes.

 _ **Now what?**_ he finally asked her.

"Now I fuel this earthly vessel called a body with food, and I wait," she answered grumpily. "For Wedy to hopefully discover something earth-shattering in the locker room, so that we don't have to resort to installing cams there."

Hellenos graciously said nothing. The truth of the matter was that Jubilee couldn't afford to be embarrassed by what she may or may not witness over surveillance and she knew it. If it had to come down to it, they were going to install cameras in a men's locker room, and she was going to monitor the footage, naked men or not. That didn't mean she would like it though.

She ate her dinner in despondent silence, then washed the pile-up of dishes in the sink and was halfway through cleaning the entire kitchen, just to stall from having to go back and watch more monotonous footage—Hellenos tutted quietly at her as he watched, but still said nothing—when her headset started buzzing from across the room. Relieved to have another excuse to procrastinate, she hurried over to answer it.

"Hello?" she said to the _w_ that popped up on her screen.

Wedy neither greeted her nor announced herself. "I saw him using the notebook," she declared without any introduction.

Jubilee's mind came to a standstill. "What?" she said dumbly.

"Mikami's Death Note," the pro thief enunciated slowly. "I saw him use it. It's in his locker."

Jubilee's heart started to pound. "...Really?"

"Do I sound like a woman who makes jokes?" returned Wedy, her voice as stoic as ever. Yet underneath the aloof tone was a rare trace of excitement. "I took photos of all the names written in it."

"You _what?_ "

Wedy sucked in a sharp breath, like she was about to tell Jubilee to stop saying _what_ and to please keep up, but at the last second reined in the impulse and repeated, "I photographed all the pages that had names on them."

Jubilee was dumbfounded. "But how?"

"I broke into his locker after he left."

"So you touched it!"

"Obviously," said the other woman, not unkindly. "I'll send the files to you. What are your next instructions?"

"Wait, hold on..." Jubilee's head spun as a thought occurred to her, and her voice trembled at her next words. "If you touched the notebook, then did you—did you see—"

"I didn't see a shinigami, no," said Wedy. "But I broke into Mikami's locker after he was gone. So maybe it's with him."

Though the thief's voice remained level, it was the first time Jubilee had ever detected a hint of nervousness in it. Even someone as cool and collected as Wedy wasn't entirely prepared to come face to face with a demon then. Which made it rather brave of her to have risked the possibility of that happening at all. Jubilee wondered which shinigami might Wedy have encountered, had it been around. She shuddered to think that it could have been Ryuk. She didn't wish such an encounter on anybody.

Returning her attention to the situation at hand, she said softly, "So we've got sufficient evidence to apprehend Mikami now." _But it's still not enough evidence to incriminate Light..._

"Your next instructions?" prompted Wedy again.

Jubilee hesitated. It still made her uncomfortable to think that someone as capable as Wedy was willingly acting as a subordinate under her—especially when she had no idea what she was doing half the time. Again she lamented the fact that L had thrown her headfirst into being in charge when she had no experience or skillset.

A fading Hellenos sighed from beside her.

 _ **Has it ever occurred to you,**_ said the angel, the volume of his voice soft as his form flickered in and out, _**That if**_ _ **he**_ _ **, of all people, believes in you...then there is something in you that is worth believing in?**_

She covered the mic of her headset with one hand. "I have no idea what to do," she whispered.

 _ **You do,**_ Hellenos dismissed with a wave of his hand. _**You just don't know that you do.**_

Jubilee stopped short at that. She didn't know that she knew what to do? How did that even make any sense?

On the other end of the line, Wedy waited.

Jubilee uncovered her mic. "Okay...so we know where Kira's current weapon is located now and what times he writes in it," she began to babble, deciding to taking stock of the situation out loud until something came to her. "And we have photo evidence, enough to apprehend the current hand of Kira—if we wanted to."

Wedy didn't interrupt, letting her verbally process.

"But if we apprehended him now," she continued, "We'd lose our lead on Light. We could confiscate the notebook, to prevent any further deaths—" _Including our own,_ she thought. "But then Light would be on to us, and we'd probably still lose our lead on him," she finished, a sinking feeling in her stomach. Having run out of things to say, she went silent, thinking hard. Then an idea hit her. "Wedy, what does the paper in the notebook look like? Could—could you replace it?"

"It looks like normal notebook paper," answered Wedy. "It would be fairly easy to replace. But, based on what I saw from flipping through it, it looks like he writes exactly one page of names a day. Judging by how meticulous he's been in literally everything he does, he'd probably notice if even one person that he wrote down failed to die...let alone a whole page."

Jubilee thought quickly. "Maybe we can have the news falsely report their deaths. It would only have to be for about a week, until after the whole warehouse incident is over. L could probably think of a way to swing that...right?"

"Probably. He's managed to do that sort of thing before."

"We'll need to know the exact names that Mikami writes down each day though," Jubilee realized. "You'd have to break into his locker each night to find out and take pictures. Can you do that?"

"Yes," affirmed Wedy without pause. "So is that what you want me to do? Replace the rest of the blank pages tonight, and then take pictures of each page he writes every night after that?"

Jubilee hesitated then. "Maybe—maybe I should check with L, first...or—?" She flailed for a few seconds, suddenly frozen at the idea of calling the shots. What if this was a bad idea? Or what if—her stomach dropped at the thought—what if, somehow, this was what Light was already anticipating?

Was that even possible?

"So you want me to hold back then?" asked Wedy, to the point as always.

"I—" she stammered, unsure, then admitted, "I don't know. I could run it over with L tonight, but I don't know if losing any time is worth it. How long would it take you to replace the pages?"

"Probably the whole night to do a careful job and leave no trace."

"So if you don't do it tonight, we'd lose a whole day until you get the chance again tomorrow," she concluded, her head suddenly swimming with indecision.

"Right."

Jubilee rubbed her temples. "I don't know," she repeated. "I don't want us to waste any time, but I don't know if doing something like this would be rash. What do you think, Wedy?"

"Ryuzaki told me to follow your instructions," said the thief simply. "If you tell me to replace the pages, then I'll do it. If you tell me not to, then I won't. That's all I have to say."

 _So make a decision._

Jubilee bit her lip. It had been a long time since she'd gone out on a limb and taken initiative. Throughout the case she had always defaulted to L's orders, even back when she still resented him. Before that, she had higher-ups at Wakahisa whom she had deferred to. The last time she'd made a decision that had major impact was when she came to Japan—when she had decided to run away from all her problems. And before that, it had been when she started stealing, and decided not to stop.

The track record of big decisions that she had made so far in her life was not something she could look upon without cringing. Not that she regretted coming to Japan—after all, she would have never met L or all of the friends she had made at Wakahisa and the Task Force otherwise. But, deep down, there was an inherent fear that she couldn't trust herself to make the right choices anymore.

 _L trusts you._

A warmth fluttered through her heart at the thought, and the image of a faraway and radiant face flitted through her mind's eye.

 _Dad trusts you._

That revelation overwhelmed her for a second. She didn't deserve anyone's trust, not after all she had done. So why was it being given to her so readily?

Next to her, Hellenos gave her a wink. _**He does everything for a reason, doesn't He?**_

Jubilee thought of Pastor Andrews and how he had just happened to be at the scene of her death to pray for her. She thought of how Light had just happened to pass her in the street on the day L was monitoring him and apprehending suspects. She thought of how all of that had led to her becoming a part of this investigation and, ultimately, to falling in love with L and being present at the scene of _his_ death.

How would things be now, if even one of those scenarios had played out differently?

 _Yes,_ she realized suddenly. _Yes, He does_.

Taking a shuddering breath to steady her nerves, she said, "Okay. Do it, Wedy."

* * *

 _A/N: So while I was working on this chapter the other day, I looked down at myself and realized that I was crouched in my chair like L, and nibbling on a chocolate bar like Mello. *facepalm*_

 _In other news, I got a Ko-Fi recently! Link is on my profile for anyone interested (h_ _andle is also myfathersdaughter)_ _. I'm also slowly (re)launching my Pa tr eon page for my writer-ly pursuits, because I couldn't discern which platform would be better and finally decided that it's best to just let readers choose which one works best for them. I could use some help with spiffing up that page though. If anyone has some time and is willing, I'd appreciate you taking a look at it and letting me know what you think. Note that there is absolutely no obligation to be a patron; I'd just like some_ _feedback and, in particular, ideas for rewards. Anyone who feels inspired to give some of that, please PM me!_

 _What anime are you all watching these days? I finally started watching Naruto for the first time. Well, technically I started three years ago but gave up by episode 60ish out of 1000ish. Gonna have another go at it. Maybe I'll manage to succeed this time, before I die of old age._


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